Serpents, Chapter Four

[mrstater]

Title: Serpents (4/?)
Author: MrsTater
Rating & Warnings: R for sexuality
Prompts: weakness; "In the light of Voldemort's return, we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided."
Word Count: 9199 words
Summary: Two years into a relationship with Remus, and the correct way to deal with full moons continues to elude Tonks, dredging

Comments

[cae_prince]

Another wonderful turnout in two short days :) And a lot more Remus to feast on as you promised :)

This chapter, like its predecessors, took me on an emotional whirl with Tonks as you have become so adept at doing. She seems to have matured a lot in this chapter, and in quite a short time. I think, given the summary of this fic, this chapter is the pivotal one, right? The attack on Arthur and its aftermath?

Remus and Tonks' relationship is at its solid best in this installment. You have captured both their emotions and feelings with such palpability, its almost breathtaking.

The post-werewolf encounter is equally light and deep, the lightness factor added by Remus' ability to take his troubles in stride and be snarky about it. ;) And Tonks does no less in the snark factor ;) Tonks insecurities show very well - you've used the perfect blend of self-deprecating humor along with seriousness to give it a good definition. Well done on that :) While we're on that - you display your genius of blending the flashback flawlessly vis a vis Remus reminding Tonks about what he said all those ages ago ... about not having to worry about his fidelity.

The scenes that follow build on the strength of the R/T relationship. Acknowledging that it could very well have been Remus or Tonks that day, and the prospect of having to face that reality - is all very gripping and moving. I had a lump in my throat when Remus finally gives in to his fear and pulls Tonks into his arms. You sure know how to tug on the right strings, Tater ;) The relief that Tonks feels as she realizes that she's not alone in her feelings and Remus' desperation both combine to make the final scene very compelling, not to mention that little teasing end you've left us off with. ;)

Lovely work, dear! Can't wait for the next!

[mrstater]

Sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you on this! I've been pounding away at Ch. 5 to try and meet a goal of finishing up the first draft by the end of today...I'm about to get cracking on it, but wanted to reply to you while I have my morning coffee. To get my brain warmed up. Though it would be nice to have a brain to respond to your thoughtful comments...

I can't say how pleased I am that this took you on an emotional whirl. This chapter was tricky because of the plotty bits, and also because there were things I planned to include which didn't quite fit, and then when I cut them I wasn't sure where the emotion came in. Finally it came after I re-wrote the beginning with Amos Diggory instead of the Head of Aurors, and I was able to get my emotional angle for how Tonks was seeing and responding to Remus before he finally crumbled.

As I said down below to tweedledani, I think the key to Remus in this universe is that he's very good at not showing his emotions, but the longer he's been with Tonks, the more she sees through him, and as the stakes are raised for them in the Order, he becomes more emotionally dependent on her, as well. All part of building up to how broken they are apart in HBP. I'm really thrilled you think it works! It was so tricky to pull off in the alley scene, and I'm really glad you think I did.

As always, I'm just so grateful that you're reading and enjoying, and I can't thank you enough for taking the time to comment. :) Here's to getting this thing finished on time. I can't believe we only have 6 days to go till DH!