football fandom is enormous
intro | the starter kit | the sample platter | back to basics | porn, with or without plot | makes me go :D | LADIES | David Villa is a lovable dicksmack | hurts so good | AUs!
what you see before you is a rec list for football fic. this fandom is huge, but I make a good-faith effort to keep it comprehensive and up-to-date. I'm also very happy to get suggestions for fic to read, so if there's something you think I should check out, please let me know! if you are not already a hard-core fan of European football and want a crash-course before you start reading, I also wrote a fandom overview that can be found here.
disclaimer, in case anyone cares: I will read pretty much anything at least once, and I enjoy a lot of writing that I don't think is qualitatively very good. the stuff that I rec is fic that I both enjoy and think is good writing. the grammar, spelling and usage had damn well better be close to flawless (though I do make allowances for commentfic etc where there's no ability to go back and edit typos). I'm more flexible on characterization, but if some dude is crying during sex and he has not just lost a close friend or family member and/or recently been tortured, I'm going to be looking at it sideways. I love cliche fic, wacky AUs and obsessive attention to canon with equal fervor, so long as the author is doing justice to whatever genre she's writing. just so you know what you're getting here. (I do sometimes make recs which include things I find problematic, because I know not everyone is this picky. I'll say what I didn't like and you can use your own judgment! I try to warn for triggers as well, but if I missed something, I'm sorry.) also, I don't think this is terribly relevant, because like I said above, I'll read anything, and if I think it's good I'll rec it--I don't judge by pairing, just by how well the writing convinces me--but in case you're curious, this is my team.
DE GUSTIBUS NON EST DISPUTANDUM. it's Latin for "my post, my taste, you don't like, you don't read."
on to the fic!
the starter kit
I got started in this fandom mostly by reading guede_mazaka's epic, epic AU fics, and I think it was a good way to get into things. of course I had no idea who anybody was for the first few days, but in an AU you don't really need to do anything but keep reading until the names start to sound familiar. the one I kicked off with (haha oh god shoot me before I pun again) was Hit, which. er. well, by the time I was done I knew almost every character in the entire fandom. but it's six novella-length sections with an additional spin-off, so maybe leave that for when you've got a few days with absolutely nothing to do. the main focus is on the German NT and Arsenal (with a bit of ManUtd), at least in the beginning, and the off-shoot fic centers on the Spanish NT and Barcelona. the basic premise of the AU is that everyone is somehow involved in the music industry, mostly working for the same record label. I realize that this sounds insane, and it's hard for me to have a coherent opinion of a fic that's just this massive, but I can in good conscience say that some of the hottest sex scenes I've ever read are contained in this fic, and I keep coming back to the spin-off over and over again, because "oblivious jerk falls in love, flails helplessly over own inability to treat beloved right" is one of my absolutely bullet-proof kinks. this fic made me keep reading about characters I didn't know or care about at all. this fic made me know them, and it made me care. (some mentions of drug addiction and alcoholism, including a relatively graphic description of an overdose.) (too many to list.)
allow me to instead recommend that you get started with The Marriage of Heaven and Hell. it is a delightful confection of an AU in which Zlatan Ibrahimovic is a demon, Paolo Maldini and Sandro Nesta are angels, and they live together in blissful cranky but surprisingly non-murderous sin above the restaurant they run in Milan. you will love this fic. I know that you're looking at me like a crazy person, but really. you will LOVE it. this is the fic I read when I'm feeling blah and need to be made happy again. (and I actually love the latter stories about Gianluigi the asshole angel and Gila the hapless maitre d' even more than the initial part, because, well, "oblivious jerk falls in love, flails helplessly over own inability to treat beloved right" is pretty much the plot summary. plus some theological stuff.) (Ibrahimovic/Maldini, Maldini/Nesta, Ibrahimovic/Maldini/Nesta, Buffon/Gilardino, Figo/anything Spanish, eventually Villa/Silva, Shevchenko/Kaká, Figo/Zidane)
now that you are full of glee and goodwill towards men, I'll take this opportunity to break your heart and stomp all over it by reccing The Romance of Zlatan and sequel, The Justice of Gianluigi. historical fantasy AU set in kind of sort of maybe Renaissance-era Milan, everyone has PTSD and Zlatan is really not that much of an asshole, all things considered. it isn't funny. it's soul-crunching. but in a good way. go. read. the rest of the fics will still be here waiting when you get back. (pretty graphic descriptions of torture, and non-explicit mentions of rape.) (Ibrahimovic/Nesta, Ibrahimovic/Maldini, Ibrahimovic/Nesta/Maldini, Buffon/Gilardino/Šeredová)
the sample platter
it was inadvertently brought to my attention recently that this list has gotten so long that it's kind of intimidating for a fandom newcomer to start with. that was really, really not my intention! but you keep up a list for over two years, I guess it does get a bit unmanageably long, and if you don't want to read epically long AUs my original starter kit isn't much help. so I thought I'd link to the other starter kit I put together for crack-van. it should be a decent introduction to the full variety of football fic out there, and it's a much more reasonable length. all of these fics are also recced in other sections; this is just in case anyone would like a guided taste-test tour before going off on her own through the rest of the fandom.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15
I also did a sampler of football vids, if that's something you are interested in, dear reader! I don't keep track of vidding very closely, but I did these recs already so I might as well link them even if I'm not going to keep updating, I guess.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
back to basics
midnight on the halfway line, by canarycreams. it's a schoolboy AU where Xabi is an exchange student in Liverpool, but it is so much more than that. I can't describe it properly, but it made me briefly understand loving football so much that you'd be willing to lose everything else that matters in order to keep on playing. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Three Beginnings, by applegnat. "Three happy endings Zlatan and Nesta never had." (Ibrahimovic/Nesta, as one might expect)
Tram, by finnyfic. Zlatan and Sandro bicker, bicker, bicker all the way into bed (and for a significant amount of time in bed, too). flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Ibrahimovic/Nesta)
Nobody Parts No Sea, by randomeliza. lovely examination of Fernando's hopeless crush on Stevie. bonus points for use of canon material and surprise requital! (Torres/Gerrard)
Coming Into Focus, by glassbomb at mountainpeople. cuteness about Cesc continually pestering Xabi for advice, despite the fact that Xabi is manifestly unqualified to provide it. (Alonso/Gerrard)
gone awry, by canarycreams at mountainpeople. Cesc and Joaquin go on a drunken Roman holiday. (Joaquin/Fabregas)
Unintentional Love Stories, by nahco3. the complexity of David Villa's douchebaggery is no match for the simplicity of Silva's sweetness. or at least that's the way it should be. (Villa/Morientes, Villa/Silva)
Stalemate, by morejoyful. Arsenal bbs sticking up for each other! candy-sweet story about Robin getting into a fight to defend Cesc. (van Persie/Fabregas)
bleed on: the a to z of falling in love disgracefully, by applegnat. it's not just good; it's smart. like, really, really smart, and I love the conceit of framing the fic as a movie. and also the ending makes me a little flaily with joy. (Ibrahimovic/Nesta)
but not me, pretty baby, by vlieger. Guti and Raul meet as teenagers on the Real Madrid youth team, and suffer the usual amount of teenage angst over each other. Guti is a beautiful child who wants so much to be a bad boy, and Raul is practical and makes it all work out. (Raul/Guti)
and my hand in yours becomes ash in ash, by windsor. it's sort of Becks/Iker and sort of a love letter to David Beckham in all his flawed glory. (Beckham/Casillas)
the truth about you and me, the story of you and me and walking higher, by stickmarionette. I had a really hard time figuring out what category to put these in, because strictly speaking they're gen, which I don't usually read, let alone rec. I guess you could point to faint, faint hints of Leo/Cesc and Leo/Kun, but it's really friendship fic. in the end, though, I just loved these too much to let their impossibility to classify keep me from adding them to the list. this Leo is amazing. to be totally honest, though, the scene I couldn't get out of my head was just a small one between Leo and Pep, because yes this is why Pep is such a good coach. (gen, maybe a little Fabregas/Messi and Aguero/Messi UST)
it all started with strenesse, by zanoranna at footballkink. on-pitch bitchfights! threesomes! respect for the WAG! it's so adorable I don't even care that it's Germany. (Gomez/Schweinsteiger/Podolski)
five times Xabi counseled Cesc on Cesc's love troubles, by windsor. lovely, understated, just the right amount of humor, and all-around delightful. (hints of Fabregas/Senderos and Gerrard/Alonso)
sailing to drift, by onthose-strings. sweet "what if?" fic about Sergio and Fernando coming out back when they both still lived in Madrid. a little implausibly fluffy at the end but hey, what is fic for but wish fulfillment? (Ramos/Torres)
five reasons why mesut finds thomas annoying and five reasons thomas and mesut get along, despite everything, by gdgdbaby. see, this is me, trying to get into Germany! haha, no, seriously, this is really cute. wish the entirety of fandom didn't hate Mesut's girlfriend (I don't know her but if he likes her there's probably a reason?) but it's a small enough mention that I can get past it. (Müller/Özil, but mostly friendship gen)
Quiet and Tired and Mean, by werepope. Cesc doesn't want to answer his phone. the approach to the final reveal is cleverly handled but mostly I am reccing this because the parts with his little sister are awesome. Carlota is too fabulous for words. (Casillas/Fabregas)
The Edge of Everything, by luxover. Villa acclimating to Barcelona, and Leo acclimating to him. it's a pairing I never would have expected but it works beautifully, and the background ensemble is even better. the little snapshots of their teammates make me so happy (there's this one scene where Villa is teasing Andres and oh, my heart, I love them so much) and the more in-depth portraits of Leo's relationship with Pique and Pep respectively are so awesome, I don't even know what else to say. (Villa/Messi)
april come she will, by applegnat. okay, I am arbitrarily deciding that once you have gotten this far down the list, you will be well-enough versed in football fandom to appreciate this fic. god knows it took until I had gotten this far down in making the list to appreciate this fic, but my eyes have been opened at last, and it is glorious. for what it's worth, I still don't know Serie A as well as La Liga and some of these people are total strangers to me, but even with a passing familiarity I can recognize brilliance when I see it. towards the end of a mediocre career, Alberto Paloschi winds up at Piacenza, where he finds Pippo Inzaghi and his lost goal-scoring touch. I'm not going to lie, Alberto's friendship with Mario Balotelli is my favorite thing about the fic, but that's because I love them, not because the main pairing is anything less than heart-snatching. (Inzaghi/Paloschi)
Replacement, by ohconstancy. suppose Fernando Llorente had transferred to Liverpool after the 2010 World Cup. Fernando Torres is understandably a little jealous. the fic is kind of too short to get into much character development, so I was a little iffy on Torres' motivations and Llorente's were a total mystery, but what there is of it is very enjoyable and quite intriguing! flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Llorente/Torres)
2024 and Catorce, by curvasud. a bit overly sentimental in places but hey, if I can't have an improbably soppy love story in fanfic, what good is life? way way way future fic about Sheva's son coming to find Kaka in Brazil. I think it really gets moving in the second fic, though, which is about Kaka's son and Xabi Alonso's son having a secret affair. ah, teen romance. (Shevchenko/Kaka, implied Gerrard/Alonso, Luca Leite/Jon Alonso)
Cuento, by acchikocchi, and freedom we shall also shout, by riseupwithfists. Uruguay NT shenanigans around the 2010 World Cup. even if you don't know much about the players (and I don't), these are adorable. (gen)
Playa de Ereaga, by luxover. absolutely adorable are-we-friends-or-more-than-friends about the Athletic Bilbao cuties. my only complaint is that it isn't longer. (Martinez/Llorente)
slump, by brojan. post-match hurt/comfort with bonus sleeeeeepy Leo and Villa bitchily caretaking like a pro. delicious. (Villa/Messi)
retiro, by brojan. post-retirement fluff about Leo and Villa, slightly bittersweet but emphasis on the sweet. future fic is awesome! and the details about future-Barcelona (Rafinha out there scoring like a boss, COACH XAVI OMG) are perfect. (Villa/Messi)
by hook or by crook, by wettedlips. helloooooo adorable new German bbs! clearly Borussia Dortmund requires more investigation. and by investigation I mean fic. get on that, fandom. posted to footballslash, join to read. (Hummels/Subotić)
Learning How To Wait, by luxover. just a wee bit of a thing, but when it works it doesn't need to be long. (Ronaldo/Kaka)
The Permanence of Ink, by luxover. brief but pitch-perfect bit of the Alcantaras hanging out, dealing with the potential motivation behind Rafa's new tattoo. could be read as gen, if you're not fanatically shipping them in your head like me. (Thiago Alcantara/Rafa Alcantara)
hollow point smile, by distira. Luis Suarez's first fight on the pitch for Liverpool. come on, everyone's a sucker for Raul Meireles' hipster wiles. (Suarez/Meireles)
Cities Under Crowns, by ohconstancy. Stevie transfers to Madrid. you don't even know how badly I wanted this to be true over the summer. I know there's more Gerrard/Alonso fic in the world than anybody could possibly want to read, but I really liked this one, so. flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Gerrard/Alonso)
you drag me up and out, by wettedlips. more Xabi and Stevie G, I know, I know. but it's really short! and quite lovely. (Gerrard/Alonso)
untitled schmoop, by applegnat. marriage fic! for Alberto and Mario! ahhhhhh! in the interests of full disclosure, should probably mention that I love these two with tin-hatted fervor and provided the prompt. (Balotelli/Paloschi)
Light and Dark, by unembraced. Arsenal babies! Theo and Jack and falling in love. not entirely sold on the abrupt POV shift towards the end or the all-knowing Cesc Fabregas as a sort of deus ex machina, but I liked it and I feel like I don't see enough Arsenal fic. flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Walcott/Wilshere)
wait a little longer, by brojan. Villa is a bit of a manslut and Xavi is bitterly pining and they're both really dumb and Leo has to give Xavi a kick in the pants. basically. only even more awesome. (Xavi/Villa)
Lessons Learned, by nahco3. Villa is a dick, even when he doesn't mean to be. it's so short but I love how much you can read between the lines. (Villa/Silva)
caught, by brojan. Leo and Villa are brought together by tabloid rumors that they're already together. excellent team cameos, as usual. (Messi/Villa)
Success, by zanoranna. Manu gets to know his new vice-captain. I particularly enjoyed the cameos from the Schalke players. (Schweinsteiger/Neuer)
with voices clear, by brojan. what I suspect will become the defining fic for this pairing. Ibi comes to Barcelona, learns Spanish, falls in love with Lionel Messi. only from Leo's point of view. the bits about language, oof. I love it. (Messi/Afellay)
burst & bloom, by sugarlungs. the German bbs break my heart in all the right ways. (Mannschaft gen)
into the sun, by brojan. it's weird how using a completely introverted person like Leo as the POV character can perfectly drive home what a total dick an introvert can be without even meaning it. Pipita spends the entire fic reaching out and even from the limited perspective underneath Leo's hair it's a little painful to watch him keep getting not so much shut down as frozen out. but Leo gets it in the end. (Higuain/Messi)
When I Come to You That's Where I Belong, by justkisa. Silva and Marchena and cuddling! never a bad thing. (Marchena/Silva)
Russian Roulette Is Not the Same Without a Gun, by an anon at footballkink2. Silva getting roughed up in training should not be this hot. (Zabaleta/Silva)
A Fighter By His Trade, by the same kind anon at footballkink2. more Silva and rough tackles at City, and aww at protective Adam. he has no idea what he's in for. (Johnson/Silva)
blue skies are calling, by weightedpass. the sort of love story of Pep Guardiola and Lionel Messi. there aren't even words, really. (full disclosure, this was kind of a present to me too. I just had a birthday, okay?) (Barcelona gen)
don't leave me standing alone, by distira. Leo and Pipita do some fraternization after the first Clasico of the season. short and sweet. (Messi/Higuain)
Debut, by justkisa. Kun's debut for City was pretty fucking awesome. the goal-cuddles with Silva were totally the best part, though. (Aguero/Silva)
Maxixe, by rondaview. you know, I'm coming around on Kaka/Sheva a little. it'll never be my favorite, and I'm still not crazy about all the stylistic experiments it seems to inspire, but I quite like this. especially the locker-room shenanigans. flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Shevchenko/Kaka)
yet to come, by brojan. such a gorgeous story about the complications of falling in love with your best friend. I love David's POV, but Xavi (amateur chef, cranky in the morning, obsessed with watching the most ridiculous, obscure football at all hours of the night) is so perfect it makes me hurt inside. (Xavi/Villa)
Filling Up the Space, by luxover. from breakup to (hopeful) resolution. plus, it's based on a Dresden Dolls song, I'm pretty much guaranteed to love it. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Five Things, by rondaview et al. and now for something completely different! an index of a "five things" meme that made the rounds some five years ago. (Gerrard/Alonso, Beckham/Casillas, Kaka/Shevchenko and several others)
something to look forward to, by brojan. just a sweet, quiet moment on the Argentina team. (Messi/Higuain)
falling, yes i am falling, by cookingontherun. bitty snippet of hurt/comfort about Albiol's fractured cheekbone. (Albiol/Arbeloa)
Like This For Two Weeks Now, by luxover. awkward boys are awkward and I like 'em like that. (Llorente/Martinez)
don't cry for me, argentina, by distira for the 2011 footballslash holiday exchange. futurefic and it would be bittersweet if it weren't so damn heart-warming. Villa is spinning his wheels post-retirement and goes to visit Leo in Argentina. full disclosure, I beta'd this. (Messi/Villa)
Artistic Differences, by acchikocchi. short and seriously adorable ficlet about Cristiano's hairstyle(s). no, really. (Ronaldo/Kaka)
I’d like to be free like that, spread my wings so high , by wh-mermaid for the 2011 footballslash holiday exchange. Albiol and Marchena meet cute. really, really cute. lovable dick Villa also makes a cameo appearance! (Albiol/Marchena, Silva/Villa in passing)
Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up), by weightedpass. Victor takes care of Andres, and Andres takes care of Victor, and that's the way it's always going to be because that's the way it's always been. full disclosure, this was a Christmas present for me and also it's my incredibly-not-secret One True Pairing and I am the luckiest girl in the world. (gen)
half awake in a fake empire, by distira. AMNESIA FIC! Mesut gets hit in the head and forgets something really important. (Özil/Khedira)
Powers of Deduction, by ladytelemachus. adorable fluff and it feels so good! I love outsider POV so much I want to take it out behind the high school and get it pregnant. (Silva/Johnson)
Green, by rose_of_rouen for footballslash's 2007 OTP Fic Exchange. just a bitty snippet of Raul/Mori, but it's lyrical and lovely and I almost don't care about the stylistic and continual violations of the rules of punctuation! also, not soul-destroyingly tragic, which most of the fic about this pairing is. only mildly tragic. baby steps! (Raul/Morientes)
we'll drive at sixty miles an hour, by mardia at 5thofficial. adorable Liverpool academy bbs are adorable! (Martin Kelly/Conor Coady)
Tuesday Afternoons, by dreamofthem at 5thofficial. adorable ManUtd academy bbs are adorable! (Welbeck/Cleverley)
Twenty, by postmodernpippo at 5thofficial. crotchety former ManUtd bbs - I wouldn't say they're adorable, but make up your own mind. (Savage/Beckham)
once like a spark, by astonish. a little snippet of Kaka/Sheva. I wouldn't call it cheerful, but slightly hopeful is about as lighthearted as this pairing gets. (Kaka/Shevchenko)
wake the morning light, by awkward-sorta. a sweet little story about language and distance and Iker Muniain and David De Gea sort of growing up and sort of growing apart, and sort of not at all. (Muniain/De Gea)
As difficult as breathing, by fliccu. a little bit of a thing about Pablo Zabaleta's relationship with Kun Agüero and Manchester (the city, not the club). utterly charming! (gen)
exercise a little caution, by awkward-sorta. confronting the sticky question of Xavi Hernandez and his sexuality, in a tremendously thoughtful and non-exploitative way. this was actually written before Xavi mentioned the existence of his male roommate (or "roommate" if you prefer) to the press, and the ending is remarkably prescient for that, but I think that speaks more to how the entire story fits into the real narrative of Xavi's life. it's a sometimes painful but (for me, at least) ultimately uplifting read. (Xavi/Villa, but it's not really the point)
three men and a baby, by brojan. baby dream team fluff about Leo's impending fatherhood and it's adorable. (gen)
Gniewino, by ladytelemachus. Adam comes to see Silva in Poland. (Silva/Johnson)
two thousand one hundred and ninety six kilometers, by worldcoup. transfer angst, mother of all football tropes! a bit overly sentimental in places and needs a beta's loving care, but still an entertaining read. (Silva/Villa, Gerrard/Alonso)
They Didn't Have You Where I Come From, by justkisa at santjordi. Kun's first half-season in Manchester, getting to know the city and the team and, of course, David Silva. full disclosure, I beta'd this. (Kun/Silva)
It's Not Hieroglyphic, by ladytelemachus for santjordi. a fabulous peek into the mind of the mysterious James Milner and his interactions with his teammates -- in particular, David Silva. Milner's Englishness and Silva's imperfect language skills are both wonderfully displayed. (Milner/Silva)
learn to lose, by louis-quatorze at santjordi. a post-loss argument that manages to be more satisfying than post-loss angry sex. (Gomez/Schweinsteiger)
here's looking at you (the kids are alright), by therestisdetail. the Baby Dream Team from angsty teenagers in Juvenil A to scoring in the Supercopa against Real Madrid. it's practically canon. could use a quick beta scrub but it doesn't get in the way of the story. (mostly gen)
* just me (before we met), by weightedpass. Leo Messi is an alien: the serious version. (gen)
* I'm Trying Hard Not to be Anti-Social, by missmollyetc. Victor and Andres back at the academy: Andres is trying to take care of Victor for once. (mostly gen)
* The Heart is a Muscle, by missmollyetc. Geri learning how to fit back in at Barcelona, and with Leo. ouchy and adorable by turns, with an excellent Puyi cameo. (Messi/Pique)
*stars, hide your fires, by vlieger. Iker comes to visit David in LA. (Beckham/Casillas)
* In Valencia, by worldcoup at 5thofficial. Mori and David Villa have a chat about loyalty and obligation. nice look at a slightly less mature Villa, and bittersweet hints of Raul/Mori in the background. (gen)
* You and Me and the Moon, by 4or5paragraphs at 5thofficial. the very beginnings of Jens and Freddie, as Freddie is still deciding if it's worth it. a perfect blend of light humor and gossipy teammates, and a delightful hint of something more to come! (Ljungberg/Lehmann)
*Overcast Skies, by dreamofthem for the footballslash 2012 Holiday Exchange. Juan Mata's relationship with Chelsea and the other Spaniards on the team -- it's not exactly happy, and not exactly sad, but it's definitely lovely. (gen)
*Weathering the Storm, by jetaimais for the footballslash 2012 Holiday Exchange. I know, I know, yet another tragic Xabi/Stevie fic, but this is quiet and lovely. making it work long-distance is tough but sometimes it pays off. (Gerrard/Alonso)
porn, with or without plot
How Not To Learn Self Control, by randomeliza. hot, hot, hot locker room shower sex with a still-shy Fernando Torres getting caught spying on Xabi Alonso and Steven Gerrard. yeah. HOT. (Torres/Gerrard/Alonso)
triumvirate and that's electricity, by callings. brief studies of the anatomy of a threesome. they're a bit dated now, in the sense that Philippe Senderos doesn't really play on the same team as Cesc Fabregas anymore and Joaquin Sanchez doesn't play for the Spanish NT anymore, either. but I still like these, even though they don't work with the Cesc Fabregas I know now. (Joaquin/Fabregas/Senderos)
Nobody Parts No Sea, by randomeliza. lovely examination of Fernando's hopeless crush on Stevie. bonus points for use of canon material and surprise requital! (Torres/Gerrard)
Changes and Ever After, by thedevilchicken. these have been really badly Jossed in terms of transfers and how Cristiano Ronaldo grew up, but this is the future that I would have liked. by the time I got into football, you couldn't even see the baby-faced star-struck kid from Madeira in the over-tanned, over-gelled, over-confident superstar he's become. (van Nistelrooy/Ronaldo)
detente, bala, by tyrannicides. David Beckham moves to Madrid, learns some Spanish, and learns a little about Iker, too. the language parallels are stunning; the whole fic is just astoundingly good. (I'm warning for the reference to prostitution and sort of vaguely het sex on principle, but there's really nothing to worry about.) (Beckham/Casillas)
Kisses with Teeth, by rondaview at mountainpeople. Cesc and Joaquin have very nasty sex in a nightclub bathroom. they make time to be assholes to each other and various anonymous women first. somehow the last paragraph atones for all of the cruelty that's gone on in the rest of the fic; don't ask me to explain how, because I couldn't tell you. (Joaquin/Fabregas)
gravity, by rondaview at mountainpeople. Cesc gets Joaquin drunk and has his way with him. it's never entirely clear why Cesc wants to have his way with Joaquin, because Joaquin is an asshole, but I guess youth explains a multitude of stupidities. (Fabregas/Joaquin)
everybody's gonna love today, by an anon at footballkink. just a little snippet of a thing, but there's not enough porn on this list, and I can never resist sweet, loving gangbang. (Mannschaft/Müller)
Do Your Thing (Make My Body Sing), by sarkastic. mostly a PWP, but I really enjoyed the little pieces of their relationship, anxieties about power imbalances and language difficulties, that shone through. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Tell Me About Sweden, by la-seleccion. I was wavering over whether to file this under angst, but it ends happily, so. Cesc is being a dick and Phil is upset. somehow the resolution of this involves phonesex. (Senderos/Fabregas)
fighting words (and all our infidelities), by callings. in honor of Zlatan's transfer to Sandro's club, some really old-school Zesta. I love this Zlatan - he isn't a nice person and he doesn't care at all. (Ibrahimovic/Nesta)
love is the only art (don't let it blow you apart), by gdgdbaby. in a world where Philipp Lahm breaks up with his fiancee weeks before the 2010 World Cup because he realizes he's in love with Timo Hildebrand... well, I guess that makes it slightly AU but not a whole lot. I don't know very much about these two but even without that knowledge, this is quite cute! (Lahm/Hildebrand)
Theme and Variation, by spdfg. Lukas has a rape fantasy, and Bastian wants to help him out. needs a quick beta for some grammar issues but damn, this fic takes the premise (originally a prompt on footballkink) and runs with it to a very very hot place. Bastian's reaction as someone who isn't kinky but wants to make his kinky partner happy is perfect, and I very much appreciate the absence of the anvil of angst. excellent WAG inclusion, too! (Schweinsteiger/Podolski)
late last night i heard the screen door swing, by cookingontherun. unf. Mesut is heading off for Madrid and Lukas decides to show him a good time before he leaves. I love me some good de-virginization fic. (Podolski/Özil)
Plenty of Practice, by zanoranna. unf and awwww all at the same time! established threesome between Lukas, Basti and Mesut, which works surprisingly well. Lukas gets drunk and unintentionally upsets Mesut, Basti comforts him in both word and deed. XP I just want to say that anyone complaining about a lack of good Germany fic needs to cut it out. trust me when I say your fandom is far, far from dead, and you should appreciate how good you've got it right now. (Schweinsteiger/Özil, implied Podolski/Schweinsteiger/Özil)
How to Live, by zanoranna. goddamn I said goddamn. Gigi Buffon and breathplay, and not the way around you'd expect! just going to sit here and fan myself a bit. (Del Piero/Buffon, Cannavaro/Buffon)
Madrid Is, by luxover. Mesut in Madrid, learning the language, getting to know the city, becoming friends with Cristiano. this is about two players I dislike on a team I hate and I still think it's amazing; I think that's pretty much the highest recommendation I can give. the way language is treated here makes my semi-multilingual heart go pitty-pat with joy. (Özil/Ronaldo)
Here, Let Me, by climbingeverest. hnnnnngh, I never knew how much I needed Pique to take Iker in hand until I read this. I would never, never have thought of these characters interacting this way, but for the space of this story I believed it completely. (and, more shallowly: dominant Pique is so fucking hot.) I loved the weirdly voyeuristic feel of Iker observing Cesc and Pique doing totally normal (and not-so-totally-normal) things together, and then, damn. that sex scene. damn. (Pique/Fabregas, Pique/Casillas) slightly fluffier but still kinky Pique/Fabregas prequel: Normal. angsty and definitely kinky Pique/Fabregas/Casillas sequel: Places. even kinkier Pique/Krkic/Fabregas sequel: Point. all flocked, sorry; ask to be added.
In the Wake of Loss, by luxover. after Barcelona demolish Real Madrid 5-0 in the Clasico, Cristiano shows up at Leo's door for some hatesex that somehow ends up turning into much, much more. it takes some doing to make this pairing work, but work it does! major props for not white-washing Cristiano Ronaldo in the slightest - he's self-centered and narcissistic and really a lousy boyfriend, but still somehow likeable. the cameos from Barcelona players in the background of Leo's life - Bojan and Pique in particular - are wonderful too. (Ronaldo/Messi)
The Last Times, by rondaview. the summary reads: five time Nesta and Zlatan vowed never to see each other again (off the pitch). pretty accurate. the style takes a bit of getting used to (it's that thing with parentheses for no good reason; I know some people like it but it bothers me) but I like the way the story flows regardless. the end has a very nice ring to it. flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Ibrahimovic/Nesta)
Stutter, by climbingeverest. Cesc goes to visit Iker for Christmas, and Iker is the world's shittiest boyfriend. good thing Sergio's there to pick up the slack. it's not as funny as I'm making it seem - I really could see Iker Casillas being this kind of an asshole to someone who loved him, and it's kind of painful - but I think the happy bits outweigh the sad. tiny snippets of Cesc and Pique's friendship in the background are just right.(Casillas/Fabregas, Ramos/Fabregas)
Bonding For Rivals, by randomeliza. German goalkeepers being adorable! ...yeah, that's all I've got. (Adler/Neuer)
On A Miss, by luxover. Real Madrid lose the league, and Kaka takes Cristiano home with him to Brazil. I don't like much Cris/Kaka because I think they're very difficult characters to get right, but when the author nails them like this, it's wonderful. I love the feel of place in this fic, too. it feels like the setting is the third character in the story. (Ronaldo/Kaka)
Skill Will Get You Nowhere, by speak_me_fair and aka_centimetre2. hah. I don't know enough about Man United circa 2006 to tell if this is plausible, but it's definitely amusing. and, weirdly, a very touching examination of the relationship between a goalkeeper and his last defender. (Ferdinand/van der Sar)
one inch tall, by onthose-strings. well, if I'm investigating the Uruguayans anyway... fluffy and oh-so-sweet! (Forlan/Suarez)
the difference in the shades, by brojan. Cesc and David Villa is not a pairing that would have really occurred to me, but the author makes it work. in fact, she makes it lovely. and the cameos from Pique are absolutely flawless. (Villa/Fabregas)
And I Want What's Better for You, by neverspilt. hee, I will never get sick of overprotective big brothers as a plot device. and Unai Casillas is super-cute! what, I never claimed to be deep or anything. (Ramos/Unai Casillas)
All That Really Matters, In The End, by luxover. so this was written for me and therefore you're probably not going to trust me but you absolutely should when I tell you that it is BRILLIANT. it is literally everything I want in Barça B fic and this pairing, wrapped up in a shiny incestuous bow. ahhhh I want to hold this fic to my bosom and never let it go. (Thiago Alcantara/Rafa Alcantara)
if not, by brojan. okay, I would say I'm sorry for reccing so much Messi/Villa but... yeah, not sorry at all. this is really lovely, understated but just enough to make you want to hug Leo forever and not let go. Villa and Silva once had a thing, Villa and Leo currently have a thing, Silva transfers to Barcelona. flawless Pique cameo as usual. (Villa/Messi)
shaking hands with a hurricane, by distantsailing. shameless porn! also good dialogue, but mainly here for the porn. (Gerrard/Alonso)
The Distance Between Two Bodies, by luxover. so much transfer angst to play with, so little time! in all seriousness, though, this fic deals with the weirdness of settling into a new team and still missing your old team and your old life really well, and the bits of domesticity amidst it all make me smile until my face hurts. it's hard to describe, but the alternation between heavier themes and humor in this fic is just right. also, Villa, you dumbass. and oh, Leo. (Villa/Silva)
befores and afters, by brojan. I am kind of running out of new ways to say "IT'S MESSI/VILLA GO READ IT NOW" so... yeah, leaving it at that. amazing cameos from various Barça players as well! (Villa/Messi)
A Laughable Stand, by neverspilt. Sergio Ramos, Iker Casillas, closeted sex. I was going to file it under angst, but it ends hopefully and I want to believe that it could have a happy ending after all. (Casillas/Ramos)
Untitled, by thedevilchicken. happened to run across this again and thought, wait, why didn't I rec it already? man, I love immature, slightly insecure Zlatan. and Henke is the only one who could always put him in his place. (Larsson/Ibrahimovic)
in defense of silence, by brojan. Barcelona lose. Leo is a pissy bitch. Villa's stuck putting up with him. I really enjoyed Leo being the jerk for once. (Messi/Villa)
Cuidado, by abitof_m0nkeys. Kaka taking care of Cristiano. the writing isn't flawless, but nothing a quick beta-scrub couldn't fix, and it's sweet. (Kaka/Ronaldo)
"thank you for last night", by zanoranna. Cesc goes over to Fernando's to watch el Clasico and take care of Fernando. I didn't read the pairings ahead of time, and I thought the reveal was cleverly done. guess I'm about to spoil it for you, though. (Fabregas/Torres, mentions of Casillas/Fabregas and Villa/Torres) Villa/Torres sequels: Turn It Up To Thirty (aka, Fuck the Curfew) and Payback's Fair Enough
like a shadow, fade, by mardia. Cesc goes to Theo for some post-loss loving. hot hot hot. comm-locked to footballslash, join to read. (Walcott/Fabregas)
flawless fill for a flawless prompt, by an anon at footballkink2. slutty Messi plus el Piqueton equals hotness. full prompt and subsequent discussion included for hilarity. (Pique/Messi)
nada valgo sin tu amor, by distira. shamelessly hot threesome porn, and the characterization works surprisingly well, given the people involved. (Johnson/Silva/Villa)
Champagne Supernova, by justkisa. is there anything better than happy gangbang? yeah, I thought not. Joe Hart gets down on his knees and shows most of Man City a really, really good time. (full disclosure, I beta'ed this.) (Man City/Hart, Given/Hart)
jeunesse en proie à l'amour vagissant, by distira. porn. um. yup. enjoy! (Casillas/Ramos)
Let's Hear It for the Boy, by justkisa. porn porn porn glorious pornnnnnnn and it comes with beautiful characterization and a Villa who's a dick but not very lovable and the slow reveal of what Silva really wants and all things wonderful but this being me I'm mostly sitting here going YAY GANGBANG!!! (full disclosure, I beta'ed this.) (Marchena/Silva, La Roja/Silva)
ferris wheels carried us away, by distira. how much do I love that people are falling for Thiago Alcantara left and right? a lot. duh. the emerging bromance between Thiago and Iker Muniain definitely needed to be documented! (full disclosure, this was a present to meeeee~ feel free to feel jealous) (Thiago Alcantara/Muniain, mentions of Thiago Alcantara/Rafa Alcantara)
Leavetaking, by centimetre-fics. Rio Ferdinand and Edwin van der Sar and their rather unique take on post-loss hurt/comfort. short and not very sweet, but really lovely. flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Ferdinand/van der Sar)
Four and Twenty Million Doors, by ladytelemachus. do you see these hearts in my eyes? good goddamn. I read all twenty thousand-plus words of this on my phone and loved it past understanding. it's going to be the fic that makes you love Man City. one year of Adam falling for Silva at City, and you'll fall for all three. (Johnson/Silva)
the cleverness of me, by mardia. Liverpool bbs get it on. posted to footballslash, join to read. (Martin Kelly/Conor Coady)
kiss me through the phone, by distira. Javi and Iker have hilariously awkward phonesex. (Martinez/Muniain)
The Nature of Humanity and Badass Spaceships (Anyone Else But You), by acchikocchi. 2010-11 through the eyes of Alvaro Arbeloa, aka his long slow slide into love with Raul Albiol. also some football gets played. (Arbeloa/Albiol, mention of past Albiol/Silva)
Famous Last Words, by audiologic. a fic about two guys I've never heard of before in Chile which is nevertheless amazing. (Mark Gonzalez/Matias Fernandez)
the best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun, by nahco3. really brilliant fic about Mesut getting repeatedly turned into a woman; the only way he can turn back is to have sex with Sami. the requisite humor is there, but Mesut's sense of violation at being stuck in a body that isn't his is handled brilliantly. (Khedira/Özil)
when you turn around, by topnote. Robin van Persie, dealing with his retirement and inevitable midlife crisis. some stylistic decisions I don't agree with (the use of fragments for sentences is really, really excessive) but the story itself is lovely and understated, and I decided it was worth overlooking a few quirks. (van Persie/Wilshere, some van Persie/Vermaelen)
crash into me, by mardia. after Arsenal lose 8-2 to ManUtd and Tottenham lose 1-5 to Man City, Gareth goes over to Theo's to commiserate. or, uh, "commiserate". edging closer to a happy ending for these two? comm-locked to footballslash, join to read. (Bale/Walcott)
Certain Things, by luxover. short but mostly sweet fic in which Kaka never recovered from his spinal injury when he was 18. I have no idea if this is a realistic portrayal of sex for someone with that degree of paralysis but it's a lovely story. (Ronaldo/Kaka)
Pure Morning, by fliccu. delightful morning sex PWP. prose is a little purple but damn it's hot. (Silva/Johnson)
Chop Me Up, by starbrigid at footballslash. Cristiano Ronaldo and Jens Lehmann, in the steam room, with the massage oil. it works surprisingly well. (Lehmann/Ronaldo)
castizo y generoso, todo nervio y corazón, by dorkorific at footballslash. porn porn extremely pornographic porn! comm-locked, sorry; join to read. (Real Madrid orgy, Kaka/Ronaldo)
And Socks Don't Count, by neverspilt. strip Parchis! (Arbeloa/Albiol/Alonso)
Three (is a magic number), by ecocline. I love me a good Argie threesome. (Agüero/Messi/Higuain)
From Prague to Podgorica, by fliccu. phonesex. really hot phonesex. (Silva/Johnson)
So Right, by neverspilt. how el Chori got his nickname. (Arbeloa/Albiol)
short stories of fallen kings, by brojan. really bittersweet post-retirement fic, but it ends hopefully and it's so lovely. (Messi/Villa)
Like the Lights That Light the Night, by justkisa. Vegas, baby! ugh I just have so many feeeeeeeelings. only some of which are related to how unbelievably smoking hot this is. full disclosure, I helped beta this and have absolutely no objectivity whatsoever left but who cares because it is awesome. (Silva/Johnson) extraordinarily ouchy Joe Hart/Gareth Barry companion fic that, left to its own devices, would be filed under "hurts so good": Just Pretend Now
Many Times, Many Ways, by ladytelemachus for the 2011 footballslash holiday exchange. Adam goes to visit Silva and Silva's family in Spain for Christmas. ALL THE FEELINGS EVER. (Silva/Johnson)
Half-time, by lobelia321. Cris/Kaka that predates their transfers to Madrid! it's pretty interesting to see what has and hasn't changed since the 2006 World Cup. they're both still perfectly and hilariously obnoxious in their own special way, for one. (Ronaldo/Kaka)
Untitled, by thedevilchicken for footballslash's 2007 OTP Fic Exchange. don't know the characters, but it's endearingly awkward and hot hookup fic, so it doesn't really matter! (Mladen Petrić/Ivan Rakitić)
Crack the Shutters, by fliccu. short, sweet and lovely, and I adore David's speech patterns in this. and, you know. it's also really hot. (Silva/Johnson) sequel: take a deep break (take in all that you could want)
Couldn't Be So Wrong, by justkisa. filthy, delicious porn about the corruption of one Denis Suarez by David Silva and co. and characterization too! (Silva, Hart, Johnson and Denis Suarez in various combinations)
Rounding Out Family, by luxover at footie-bang. the complications of falling in love with someone when you've already got a family to worry about: not addressed in this fandom nearly enough. warning for kidfic, obviously. (Ronaldo/Özil)
as restless as the sea, by irradiant at 5thofficial. the infamous story of the match with the face mask. the baby dream team is, as always, too precious for words. (Pique/Messi)
trains run on time, by nahco3 at 5thofficial. the Mario Balotelli fic you never knew you needed until you read it and realized what you were missing. (Mancini/Balotelli)
Break, by fandomonymous at valentinesplay. some well-earned stress relief for one Philipp Lahm. (Lahm/Ottl)
Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong, by ladytelemachus. bit of humor, bit of angst, bit of boys being ridiculous, bit of oral sex: something for everyone! (Hart/Johnson)
men seldom make passes, by imaginarysound. shameless glasses!porn. it doesn't get any better than this. (Bale/Walcott)
dressed me up in women's clothes, by justkisa. I am fairly certain I didn't have a cross-dressing kink before reading this. no comment on my feelings afterwards. (Silva/Johnson)
trova la via al mare, by vlieger. creaky old Italians before they got that way, and just a bit after, too. (Buffon/Cannavaro)
don't tread, by distira at santjordi. a bit of not-really-hatesex for a pair of real American heroes. (Dempsey/Donovan)
another kiss, and you'll be mine, by mardia for santjordi. a very hot and very sweet moment between Theo and Gareth. (Bale/Walcott)
The Games You Play You Would Always Win, by justkisa at santjordi. David Pizarro knows what his manager wants, and he's pretty sure Silva would be happy to give it to him. blindingly hot and rather kinky, as manager-player relationships should be! full disclosure, this was written for me. (Mancini/Silva, Pizarro/Silva)
Something in the Difference, by luxover for santjordi. a very cute and domestic fic about Mesut's slightly pudgy stomach, and the fact that Cristiano really, really likes it. (Ronaldo/Özil)
untitled Alcantaracest fill by an anon footballkink2. straightforward victory porn, but it's the Alcantara brothers so it's sweet too. (Thiago Alcantara/Rafa Alcantara)
54, by abitof-m0nkeys. shameless cule id-fic. Barcelona win the Champions League and the Baby Dream Team celebrate with drunken and slightly kinky sex. (Messi/Pique/Fabregas)
*The Same Last Dream Again, by missmollyetc. adorable Baby Dream Team hookup fic on the occasion of Cesc's birthday. full disclosure, this was my prompt. (Messi/Pique/Fabregas)
(click the links for the remaining subsections)
makes me go :D
LADIES
David Villa is a lovable dicksmack
hurts so good
AUs!
I'll be back with more, I'm sure. vaguely on hiatus, though I'll certainly add anything I'm moved to; I'm just not actively looking anymore. fics added in the most recent update have an asterisk beside them.
UPDATED 03/16/13
note - commenting is disabled on this post because I get a ridiculous amount of spam on it. (this has the unfortunate effect of hiding the lovely comments on this page, sorry.) if there's something you want to tell me (something for me to read? dead link notification? something is locked and I didn't warn for it?), follow any of the links above to the second half of the list and comment there! you can even comment anonymously if you like. I would really love to hear from you, it's just annoying to have to delete comments from Russian spambots all the time. hope it's not too much of an inconvenience!
what you see before you is a rec list for football fic. this fandom is huge, but I make a good-faith effort to keep it comprehensive and up-to-date. I'm also very happy to get suggestions for fic to read, so if there's something you think I should check out, please let me know! if you are not already a hard-core fan of European football and want a crash-course before you start reading, I also wrote a fandom overview that can be found here.
disclaimer, in case anyone cares: I will read pretty much anything at least once, and I enjoy a lot of writing that I don't think is qualitatively very good. the stuff that I rec is fic that I both enjoy and think is good writing. the grammar, spelling and usage had damn well better be close to flawless (though I do make allowances for commentfic etc where there's no ability to go back and edit typos). I'm more flexible on characterization, but if some dude is crying during sex and he has not just lost a close friend or family member and/or recently been tortured, I'm going to be looking at it sideways. I love cliche fic, wacky AUs and obsessive attention to canon with equal fervor, so long as the author is doing justice to whatever genre she's writing. just so you know what you're getting here. (I do sometimes make recs which include things I find problematic, because I know not everyone is this picky. I'll say what I didn't like and you can use your own judgment! I try to warn for triggers as well, but if I missed something, I'm sorry.) also, I don't think this is terribly relevant, because like I said above, I'll read anything, and if I think it's good I'll rec it--I don't judge by pairing, just by how well the writing convinces me--but in case you're curious, this is my team.
DE GUSTIBUS NON EST DISPUTANDUM. it's Latin for "my post, my taste, you don't like, you don't read."
on to the fic!
the starter kit
I got started in this fandom mostly by reading guede_mazaka's epic, epic AU fics, and I think it was a good way to get into things. of course I had no idea who anybody was for the first few days, but in an AU you don't really need to do anything but keep reading until the names start to sound familiar. the one I kicked off with (haha oh god shoot me before I pun again) was Hit, which. er. well, by the time I was done I knew almost every character in the entire fandom. but it's six novella-length sections with an additional spin-off, so maybe leave that for when you've got a few days with absolutely nothing to do. the main focus is on the German NT and Arsenal (with a bit of ManUtd), at least in the beginning, and the off-shoot fic centers on the Spanish NT and Barcelona. the basic premise of the AU is that everyone is somehow involved in the music industry, mostly working for the same record label. I realize that this sounds insane, and it's hard for me to have a coherent opinion of a fic that's just this massive, but I can in good conscience say that some of the hottest sex scenes I've ever read are contained in this fic, and I keep coming back to the spin-off over and over again, because "oblivious jerk falls in love, flails helplessly over own inability to treat beloved right" is one of my absolutely bullet-proof kinks. this fic made me keep reading about characters I didn't know or care about at all. this fic made me know them, and it made me care. (some mentions of drug addiction and alcoholism, including a relatively graphic description of an overdose.) (too many to list.)
allow me to instead recommend that you get started with The Marriage of Heaven and Hell. it is a delightful confection of an AU in which Zlatan Ibrahimovic is a demon, Paolo Maldini and Sandro Nesta are angels, and they live together in blissful cranky but surprisingly non-murderous sin above the restaurant they run in Milan. you will love this fic. I know that you're looking at me like a crazy person, but really. you will LOVE it. this is the fic I read when I'm feeling blah and need to be made happy again. (and I actually love the latter stories about Gianluigi the asshole angel and Gila the hapless maitre d' even more than the initial part, because, well, "oblivious jerk falls in love, flails helplessly over own inability to treat beloved right" is pretty much the plot summary. plus some theological stuff.) (Ibrahimovic/Maldini, Maldini/Nesta, Ibrahimovic/Maldini/Nesta, Buffon/Gilardino, Figo/anything Spanish, eventually Villa/Silva, Shevchenko/Kaká, Figo/Zidane)
now that you are full of glee and goodwill towards men, I'll take this opportunity to break your heart and stomp all over it by reccing The Romance of Zlatan and sequel, The Justice of Gianluigi. historical fantasy AU set in kind of sort of maybe Renaissance-era Milan, everyone has PTSD and Zlatan is really not that much of an asshole, all things considered. it isn't funny. it's soul-crunching. but in a good way. go. read. the rest of the fics will still be here waiting when you get back. (pretty graphic descriptions of torture, and non-explicit mentions of rape.) (Ibrahimovic/Nesta, Ibrahimovic/Maldini, Ibrahimovic/Nesta/Maldini, Buffon/Gilardino/Šeredová)
the sample platter
it was inadvertently brought to my attention recently that this list has gotten so long that it's kind of intimidating for a fandom newcomer to start with. that was really, really not my intention! but you keep up a list for over two years, I guess it does get a bit unmanageably long, and if you don't want to read epically long AUs my original starter kit isn't much help. so I thought I'd link to the other starter kit I put together for crack-van. it should be a decent introduction to the full variety of football fic out there, and it's a much more reasonable length. all of these fics are also recced in other sections; this is just in case anyone would like a guided taste-test tour before going off on her own through the rest of the fandom.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15
I also did a sampler of football vids, if that's something you are interested in, dear reader! I don't keep track of vidding very closely, but I did these recs already so I might as well link them even if I'm not going to keep updating, I guess.
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
back to basics
midnight on the halfway line, by canarycreams. it's a schoolboy AU where Xabi is an exchange student in Liverpool, but it is so much more than that. I can't describe it properly, but it made me briefly understand loving football so much that you'd be willing to lose everything else that matters in order to keep on playing. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Three Beginnings, by applegnat. "Three happy endings Zlatan and Nesta never had." (Ibrahimovic/Nesta, as one might expect)
Tram, by finnyfic. Zlatan and Sandro bicker, bicker, bicker all the way into bed (and for a significant amount of time in bed, too). flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Ibrahimovic/Nesta)
Nobody Parts No Sea, by randomeliza. lovely examination of Fernando's hopeless crush on Stevie. bonus points for use of canon material and surprise requital! (Torres/Gerrard)
Coming Into Focus, by glassbomb at mountainpeople. cuteness about Cesc continually pestering Xabi for advice, despite the fact that Xabi is manifestly unqualified to provide it. (Alonso/Gerrard)
gone awry, by canarycreams at mountainpeople. Cesc and Joaquin go on a drunken Roman holiday. (Joaquin/Fabregas)
Unintentional Love Stories, by nahco3. the complexity of David Villa's douchebaggery is no match for the simplicity of Silva's sweetness. or at least that's the way it should be. (Villa/Morientes, Villa/Silva)
Stalemate, by morejoyful. Arsenal bbs sticking up for each other! candy-sweet story about Robin getting into a fight to defend Cesc. (van Persie/Fabregas)
bleed on: the a to z of falling in love disgracefully, by applegnat. it's not just good; it's smart. like, really, really smart, and I love the conceit of framing the fic as a movie. and also the ending makes me a little flaily with joy. (Ibrahimovic/Nesta)
but not me, pretty baby, by vlieger. Guti and Raul meet as teenagers on the Real Madrid youth team, and suffer the usual amount of teenage angst over each other. Guti is a beautiful child who wants so much to be a bad boy, and Raul is practical and makes it all work out. (Raul/Guti)
and my hand in yours becomes ash in ash, by windsor. it's sort of Becks/Iker and sort of a love letter to David Beckham in all his flawed glory. (Beckham/Casillas)
the truth about you and me, the story of you and me and walking higher, by stickmarionette. I had a really hard time figuring out what category to put these in, because strictly speaking they're gen, which I don't usually read, let alone rec. I guess you could point to faint, faint hints of Leo/Cesc and Leo/Kun, but it's really friendship fic. in the end, though, I just loved these too much to let their impossibility to classify keep me from adding them to the list. this Leo is amazing. to be totally honest, though, the scene I couldn't get out of my head was just a small one between Leo and Pep, because yes this is why Pep is such a good coach. (gen, maybe a little Fabregas/Messi and Aguero/Messi UST)
it all started with strenesse, by zanoranna at footballkink. on-pitch bitchfights! threesomes! respect for the WAG! it's so adorable I don't even care that it's Germany. (Gomez/Schweinsteiger/Podolski)
five times Xabi counseled Cesc on Cesc's love troubles, by windsor. lovely, understated, just the right amount of humor, and all-around delightful. (hints of Fabregas/Senderos and Gerrard/Alonso)
sailing to drift, by onthose-strings. sweet "what if?" fic about Sergio and Fernando coming out back when they both still lived in Madrid. a little implausibly fluffy at the end but hey, what is fic for but wish fulfillment? (Ramos/Torres)
five reasons why mesut finds thomas annoying and five reasons thomas and mesut get along, despite everything, by gdgdbaby. see, this is me, trying to get into Germany! haha, no, seriously, this is really cute. wish the entirety of fandom didn't hate Mesut's girlfriend (I don't know her but if he likes her there's probably a reason?) but it's a small enough mention that I can get past it. (Müller/Özil, but mostly friendship gen)
Quiet and Tired and Mean, by werepope. Cesc doesn't want to answer his phone. the approach to the final reveal is cleverly handled but mostly I am reccing this because the parts with his little sister are awesome. Carlota is too fabulous for words. (Casillas/Fabregas)
The Edge of Everything, by luxover. Villa acclimating to Barcelona, and Leo acclimating to him. it's a pairing I never would have expected but it works beautifully, and the background ensemble is even better. the little snapshots of their teammates make me so happy (there's this one scene where Villa is teasing Andres and oh, my heart, I love them so much) and the more in-depth portraits of Leo's relationship with Pique and Pep respectively are so awesome, I don't even know what else to say. (Villa/Messi)
april come she will, by applegnat. okay, I am arbitrarily deciding that once you have gotten this far down the list, you will be well-enough versed in football fandom to appreciate this fic. god knows it took until I had gotten this far down in making the list to appreciate this fic, but my eyes have been opened at last, and it is glorious. for what it's worth, I still don't know Serie A as well as La Liga and some of these people are total strangers to me, but even with a passing familiarity I can recognize brilliance when I see it. towards the end of a mediocre career, Alberto Paloschi winds up at Piacenza, where he finds Pippo Inzaghi and his lost goal-scoring touch. I'm not going to lie, Alberto's friendship with Mario Balotelli is my favorite thing about the fic, but that's because I love them, not because the main pairing is anything less than heart-snatching. (Inzaghi/Paloschi)
Replacement, by ohconstancy. suppose Fernando Llorente had transferred to Liverpool after the 2010 World Cup. Fernando Torres is understandably a little jealous. the fic is kind of too short to get into much character development, so I was a little iffy on Torres' motivations and Llorente's were a total mystery, but what there is of it is very enjoyable and quite intriguing! flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Llorente/Torres)
2024 and Catorce, by curvasud. a bit overly sentimental in places but hey, if I can't have an improbably soppy love story in fanfic, what good is life? way way way future fic about Sheva's son coming to find Kaka in Brazil. I think it really gets moving in the second fic, though, which is about Kaka's son and Xabi Alonso's son having a secret affair. ah, teen romance. (Shevchenko/Kaka, implied Gerrard/Alonso, Luca Leite/Jon Alonso)
Cuento, by acchikocchi, and freedom we shall also shout, by riseupwithfists. Uruguay NT shenanigans around the 2010 World Cup. even if you don't know much about the players (and I don't), these are adorable. (gen)
Playa de Ereaga, by luxover. absolutely adorable are-we-friends-or-more-than-friends about the Athletic Bilbao cuties. my only complaint is that it isn't longer. (Martinez/Llorente)
slump, by brojan. post-match hurt/comfort with bonus sleeeeeepy Leo and Villa bitchily caretaking like a pro. delicious. (Villa/Messi)
retiro, by brojan. post-retirement fluff about Leo and Villa, slightly bittersweet but emphasis on the sweet. future fic is awesome! and the details about future-Barcelona (Rafinha out there scoring like a boss, COACH XAVI OMG) are perfect. (Villa/Messi)
by hook or by crook, by wettedlips. helloooooo adorable new German bbs! clearly Borussia Dortmund requires more investigation. and by investigation I mean fic. get on that, fandom. posted to footballslash, join to read. (Hummels/Subotić)
Learning How To Wait, by luxover. just a wee bit of a thing, but when it works it doesn't need to be long. (Ronaldo/Kaka)
The Permanence of Ink, by luxover. brief but pitch-perfect bit of the Alcantaras hanging out, dealing with the potential motivation behind Rafa's new tattoo. could be read as gen, if you're not fanatically shipping them in your head like me. (Thiago Alcantara/Rafa Alcantara)
hollow point smile, by distira. Luis Suarez's first fight on the pitch for Liverpool. come on, everyone's a sucker for Raul Meireles' hipster wiles. (Suarez/Meireles)
Cities Under Crowns, by ohconstancy. Stevie transfers to Madrid. you don't even know how badly I wanted this to be true over the summer. I know there's more Gerrard/Alonso fic in the world than anybody could possibly want to read, but I really liked this one, so. flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Gerrard/Alonso)
you drag me up and out, by wettedlips. more Xabi and Stevie G, I know, I know. but it's really short! and quite lovely. (Gerrard/Alonso)
untitled schmoop, by applegnat. marriage fic! for Alberto and Mario! ahhhhhh! in the interests of full disclosure, should probably mention that I love these two with tin-hatted fervor and provided the prompt. (Balotelli/Paloschi)
Light and Dark, by unembraced. Arsenal babies! Theo and Jack and falling in love. not entirely sold on the abrupt POV shift towards the end or the all-knowing Cesc Fabregas as a sort of deus ex machina, but I liked it and I feel like I don't see enough Arsenal fic. flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Walcott/Wilshere)
wait a little longer, by brojan. Villa is a bit of a manslut and Xavi is bitterly pining and they're both really dumb and Leo has to give Xavi a kick in the pants. basically. only even more awesome. (Xavi/Villa)
Lessons Learned, by nahco3. Villa is a dick, even when he doesn't mean to be. it's so short but I love how much you can read between the lines. (Villa/Silva)
caught, by brojan. Leo and Villa are brought together by tabloid rumors that they're already together. excellent team cameos, as usual. (Messi/Villa)
Success, by zanoranna. Manu gets to know his new vice-captain. I particularly enjoyed the cameos from the Schalke players. (Schweinsteiger/Neuer)
with voices clear, by brojan. what I suspect will become the defining fic for this pairing. Ibi comes to Barcelona, learns Spanish, falls in love with Lionel Messi. only from Leo's point of view. the bits about language, oof. I love it. (Messi/Afellay)
burst & bloom, by sugarlungs. the German bbs break my heart in all the right ways. (Mannschaft gen)
into the sun, by brojan. it's weird how using a completely introverted person like Leo as the POV character can perfectly drive home what a total dick an introvert can be without even meaning it. Pipita spends the entire fic reaching out and even from the limited perspective underneath Leo's hair it's a little painful to watch him keep getting not so much shut down as frozen out. but Leo gets it in the end. (Higuain/Messi)
When I Come to You That's Where I Belong, by justkisa. Silva and Marchena and cuddling! never a bad thing. (Marchena/Silva)
Russian Roulette Is Not the Same Without a Gun, by an anon at footballkink2. Silva getting roughed up in training should not be this hot. (Zabaleta/Silva)
A Fighter By His Trade, by the same kind anon at footballkink2. more Silva and rough tackles at City, and aww at protective Adam. he has no idea what he's in for. (Johnson/Silva)
blue skies are calling, by weightedpass. the sort of love story of Pep Guardiola and Lionel Messi. there aren't even words, really. (full disclosure, this was kind of a present to me too. I just had a birthday, okay?) (Barcelona gen)
don't leave me standing alone, by distira. Leo and Pipita do some fraternization after the first Clasico of the season. short and sweet. (Messi/Higuain)
Debut, by justkisa. Kun's debut for City was pretty fucking awesome. the goal-cuddles with Silva were totally the best part, though. (Aguero/Silva)
Maxixe, by rondaview. you know, I'm coming around on Kaka/Sheva a little. it'll never be my favorite, and I'm still not crazy about all the stylistic experiments it seems to inspire, but I quite like this. especially the locker-room shenanigans. flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Shevchenko/Kaka)
yet to come, by brojan. such a gorgeous story about the complications of falling in love with your best friend. I love David's POV, but Xavi (amateur chef, cranky in the morning, obsessed with watching the most ridiculous, obscure football at all hours of the night) is so perfect it makes me hurt inside. (Xavi/Villa)
Filling Up the Space, by luxover. from breakup to (hopeful) resolution. plus, it's based on a Dresden Dolls song, I'm pretty much guaranteed to love it. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Five Things, by rondaview et al. and now for something completely different! an index of a "five things" meme that made the rounds some five years ago. (Gerrard/Alonso, Beckham/Casillas, Kaka/Shevchenko and several others)
something to look forward to, by brojan. just a sweet, quiet moment on the Argentina team. (Messi/Higuain)
falling, yes i am falling, by cookingontherun. bitty snippet of hurt/comfort about Albiol's fractured cheekbone. (Albiol/Arbeloa)
Like This For Two Weeks Now, by luxover. awkward boys are awkward and I like 'em like that. (Llorente/Martinez)
don't cry for me, argentina, by distira for the 2011 footballslash holiday exchange. futurefic and it would be bittersweet if it weren't so damn heart-warming. Villa is spinning his wheels post-retirement and goes to visit Leo in Argentina. full disclosure, I beta'd this. (Messi/Villa)
Artistic Differences, by acchikocchi. short and seriously adorable ficlet about Cristiano's hairstyle(s). no, really. (Ronaldo/Kaka)
I’d like to be free like that, spread my wings so high , by wh-mermaid for the 2011 footballslash holiday exchange. Albiol and Marchena meet cute. really, really cute. lovable dick Villa also makes a cameo appearance! (Albiol/Marchena, Silva/Villa in passing)
Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up), by weightedpass. Victor takes care of Andres, and Andres takes care of Victor, and that's the way it's always going to be because that's the way it's always been. full disclosure, this was a Christmas present for me and also it's my incredibly-not-secret One True Pairing and I am the luckiest girl in the world. (gen)
half awake in a fake empire, by distira. AMNESIA FIC! Mesut gets hit in the head and forgets something really important. (Özil/Khedira)
Powers of Deduction, by ladytelemachus. adorable fluff and it feels so good! I love outsider POV so much I want to take it out behind the high school and get it pregnant. (Silva/Johnson)
Green, by rose_of_rouen for footballslash's 2007 OTP Fic Exchange. just a bitty snippet of Raul/Mori, but it's lyrical and lovely and I almost don't care about the stylistic and continual violations of the rules of punctuation! also, not soul-destroyingly tragic, which most of the fic about this pairing is. only mildly tragic. baby steps! (Raul/Morientes)
we'll drive at sixty miles an hour, by mardia at 5thofficial. adorable Liverpool academy bbs are adorable! (Martin Kelly/Conor Coady)
Tuesday Afternoons, by dreamofthem at 5thofficial. adorable ManUtd academy bbs are adorable! (Welbeck/Cleverley)
Twenty, by postmodernpippo at 5thofficial. crotchety former ManUtd bbs - I wouldn't say they're adorable, but make up your own mind. (Savage/Beckham)
once like a spark, by astonish. a little snippet of Kaka/Sheva. I wouldn't call it cheerful, but slightly hopeful is about as lighthearted as this pairing gets. (Kaka/Shevchenko)
wake the morning light, by awkward-sorta. a sweet little story about language and distance and Iker Muniain and David De Gea sort of growing up and sort of growing apart, and sort of not at all. (Muniain/De Gea)
As difficult as breathing, by fliccu. a little bit of a thing about Pablo Zabaleta's relationship with Kun Agüero and Manchester (the city, not the club). utterly charming! (gen)
exercise a little caution, by awkward-sorta. confronting the sticky question of Xavi Hernandez and his sexuality, in a tremendously thoughtful and non-exploitative way. this was actually written before Xavi mentioned the existence of his male roommate (or "roommate" if you prefer) to the press, and the ending is remarkably prescient for that, but I think that speaks more to how the entire story fits into the real narrative of Xavi's life. it's a sometimes painful but (for me, at least) ultimately uplifting read. (Xavi/Villa, but it's not really the point)
three men and a baby, by brojan. baby dream team fluff about Leo's impending fatherhood and it's adorable. (gen)
Gniewino, by ladytelemachus. Adam comes to see Silva in Poland. (Silva/Johnson)
two thousand one hundred and ninety six kilometers, by worldcoup. transfer angst, mother of all football tropes! a bit overly sentimental in places and needs a beta's loving care, but still an entertaining read. (Silva/Villa, Gerrard/Alonso)
They Didn't Have You Where I Come From, by justkisa at santjordi. Kun's first half-season in Manchester, getting to know the city and the team and, of course, David Silva. full disclosure, I beta'd this. (Kun/Silva)
It's Not Hieroglyphic, by ladytelemachus for santjordi. a fabulous peek into the mind of the mysterious James Milner and his interactions with his teammates -- in particular, David Silva. Milner's Englishness and Silva's imperfect language skills are both wonderfully displayed. (Milner/Silva)
learn to lose, by louis-quatorze at santjordi. a post-loss argument that manages to be more satisfying than post-loss angry sex. (Gomez/Schweinsteiger)
here's looking at you (the kids are alright), by therestisdetail. the Baby Dream Team from angsty teenagers in Juvenil A to scoring in the Supercopa against Real Madrid. it's practically canon. could use a quick beta scrub but it doesn't get in the way of the story. (mostly gen)
* just me (before we met), by weightedpass. Leo Messi is an alien: the serious version. (gen)
* I'm Trying Hard Not to be Anti-Social, by missmollyetc. Victor and Andres back at the academy: Andres is trying to take care of Victor for once. (mostly gen)
* The Heart is a Muscle, by missmollyetc. Geri learning how to fit back in at Barcelona, and with Leo. ouchy and adorable by turns, with an excellent Puyi cameo. (Messi/Pique)
*stars, hide your fires, by vlieger. Iker comes to visit David in LA. (Beckham/Casillas)
* In Valencia, by worldcoup at 5thofficial. Mori and David Villa have a chat about loyalty and obligation. nice look at a slightly less mature Villa, and bittersweet hints of Raul/Mori in the background. (gen)
* You and Me and the Moon, by 4or5paragraphs at 5thofficial. the very beginnings of Jens and Freddie, as Freddie is still deciding if it's worth it. a perfect blend of light humor and gossipy teammates, and a delightful hint of something more to come! (Ljungberg/Lehmann)
*Overcast Skies, by dreamofthem for the footballslash 2012 Holiday Exchange. Juan Mata's relationship with Chelsea and the other Spaniards on the team -- it's not exactly happy, and not exactly sad, but it's definitely lovely. (gen)
*Weathering the Storm, by jetaimais for the footballslash 2012 Holiday Exchange. I know, I know, yet another tragic Xabi/Stevie fic, but this is quiet and lovely. making it work long-distance is tough but sometimes it pays off. (Gerrard/Alonso)
porn, with or without plot
How Not To Learn Self Control, by randomeliza. hot, hot, hot locker room shower sex with a still-shy Fernando Torres getting caught spying on Xabi Alonso and Steven Gerrard. yeah. HOT. (Torres/Gerrard/Alonso)
triumvirate and that's electricity, by callings. brief studies of the anatomy of a threesome. they're a bit dated now, in the sense that Philippe Senderos doesn't really play on the same team as Cesc Fabregas anymore and Joaquin Sanchez doesn't play for the Spanish NT anymore, either. but I still like these, even though they don't work with the Cesc Fabregas I know now. (Joaquin/Fabregas/Senderos)
Nobody Parts No Sea, by randomeliza. lovely examination of Fernando's hopeless crush on Stevie. bonus points for use of canon material and surprise requital! (Torres/Gerrard)
Changes and Ever After, by thedevilchicken. these have been really badly Jossed in terms of transfers and how Cristiano Ronaldo grew up, but this is the future that I would have liked. by the time I got into football, you couldn't even see the baby-faced star-struck kid from Madeira in the over-tanned, over-gelled, over-confident superstar he's become. (van Nistelrooy/Ronaldo)
detente, bala, by tyrannicides. David Beckham moves to Madrid, learns some Spanish, and learns a little about Iker, too. the language parallels are stunning; the whole fic is just astoundingly good. (I'm warning for the reference to prostitution and sort of vaguely het sex on principle, but there's really nothing to worry about.) (Beckham/Casillas)
Kisses with Teeth, by rondaview at mountainpeople. Cesc and Joaquin have very nasty sex in a nightclub bathroom. they make time to be assholes to each other and various anonymous women first. somehow the last paragraph atones for all of the cruelty that's gone on in the rest of the fic; don't ask me to explain how, because I couldn't tell you. (Joaquin/Fabregas)
gravity, by rondaview at mountainpeople. Cesc gets Joaquin drunk and has his way with him. it's never entirely clear why Cesc wants to have his way with Joaquin, because Joaquin is an asshole, but I guess youth explains a multitude of stupidities. (Fabregas/Joaquin)
everybody's gonna love today, by an anon at footballkink. just a little snippet of a thing, but there's not enough porn on this list, and I can never resist sweet, loving gangbang. (Mannschaft/Müller)
Do Your Thing (Make My Body Sing), by sarkastic. mostly a PWP, but I really enjoyed the little pieces of their relationship, anxieties about power imbalances and language difficulties, that shone through. (Gerrard/Alonso)
Tell Me About Sweden, by la-seleccion. I was wavering over whether to file this under angst, but it ends happily, so. Cesc is being a dick and Phil is upset. somehow the resolution of this involves phonesex. (Senderos/Fabregas)
fighting words (and all our infidelities), by callings. in honor of Zlatan's transfer to Sandro's club, some really old-school Zesta. I love this Zlatan - he isn't a nice person and he doesn't care at all. (Ibrahimovic/Nesta)
love is the only art (don't let it blow you apart), by gdgdbaby. in a world where Philipp Lahm breaks up with his fiancee weeks before the 2010 World Cup because he realizes he's in love with Timo Hildebrand... well, I guess that makes it slightly AU but not a whole lot. I don't know very much about these two but even without that knowledge, this is quite cute! (Lahm/Hildebrand)
Theme and Variation, by spdfg. Lukas has a rape fantasy, and Bastian wants to help him out. needs a quick beta for some grammar issues but damn, this fic takes the premise (originally a prompt on footballkink) and runs with it to a very very hot place. Bastian's reaction as someone who isn't kinky but wants to make his kinky partner happy is perfect, and I very much appreciate the absence of the anvil of angst. excellent WAG inclusion, too! (Schweinsteiger/Podolski)
late last night i heard the screen door swing, by cookingontherun. unf. Mesut is heading off for Madrid and Lukas decides to show him a good time before he leaves. I love me some good de-virginization fic. (Podolski/Özil)
Plenty of Practice, by zanoranna. unf and awwww all at the same time! established threesome between Lukas, Basti and Mesut, which works surprisingly well. Lukas gets drunk and unintentionally upsets Mesut, Basti comforts him in both word and deed. XP I just want to say that anyone complaining about a lack of good Germany fic needs to cut it out. trust me when I say your fandom is far, far from dead, and you should appreciate how good you've got it right now. (Schweinsteiger/Özil, implied Podolski/Schweinsteiger/Özil)
How to Live, by zanoranna. goddamn I said goddamn. Gigi Buffon and breathplay, and not the way around you'd expect! just going to sit here and fan myself a bit. (Del Piero/Buffon, Cannavaro/Buffon)
Madrid Is, by luxover. Mesut in Madrid, learning the language, getting to know the city, becoming friends with Cristiano. this is about two players I dislike on a team I hate and I still think it's amazing; I think that's pretty much the highest recommendation I can give. the way language is treated here makes my semi-multilingual heart go pitty-pat with joy. (Özil/Ronaldo)
Here, Let Me, by climbingeverest. hnnnnngh, I never knew how much I needed Pique to take Iker in hand until I read this. I would never, never have thought of these characters interacting this way, but for the space of this story I believed it completely. (and, more shallowly: dominant Pique is so fucking hot.) I loved the weirdly voyeuristic feel of Iker observing Cesc and Pique doing totally normal (and not-so-totally-normal) things together, and then, damn. that sex scene. damn. (Pique/Fabregas, Pique/Casillas) slightly fluffier but still kinky Pique/Fabregas prequel: Normal. angsty and definitely kinky Pique/Fabregas/Casillas sequel: Places. even kinkier Pique/Krkic/Fabregas sequel: Point. all flocked, sorry; ask to be added.
In the Wake of Loss, by luxover. after Barcelona demolish Real Madrid 5-0 in the Clasico, Cristiano shows up at Leo's door for some hatesex that somehow ends up turning into much, much more. it takes some doing to make this pairing work, but work it does! major props for not white-washing Cristiano Ronaldo in the slightest - he's self-centered and narcissistic and really a lousy boyfriend, but still somehow likeable. the cameos from Barcelona players in the background of Leo's life - Bojan and Pique in particular - are wonderful too. (Ronaldo/Messi)
The Last Times, by rondaview. the summary reads: five time Nesta and Zlatan vowed never to see each other again (off the pitch). pretty accurate. the style takes a bit of getting used to (it's that thing with parentheses for no good reason; I know some people like it but it bothers me) but I like the way the story flows regardless. the end has a very nice ring to it. flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Ibrahimovic/Nesta)
Stutter, by climbingeverest. Cesc goes to visit Iker for Christmas, and Iker is the world's shittiest boyfriend. good thing Sergio's there to pick up the slack. it's not as funny as I'm making it seem - I really could see Iker Casillas being this kind of an asshole to someone who loved him, and it's kind of painful - but I think the happy bits outweigh the sad. tiny snippets of Cesc and Pique's friendship in the background are just right.(Casillas/Fabregas, Ramos/Fabregas)
Bonding For Rivals, by randomeliza. German goalkeepers being adorable! ...yeah, that's all I've got. (Adler/Neuer)
On A Miss, by luxover. Real Madrid lose the league, and Kaka takes Cristiano home with him to Brazil. I don't like much Cris/Kaka because I think they're very difficult characters to get right, but when the author nails them like this, it's wonderful. I love the feel of place in this fic, too. it feels like the setting is the third character in the story. (Ronaldo/Kaka)
Skill Will Get You Nowhere, by speak_me_fair and aka_centimetre2. hah. I don't know enough about Man United circa 2006 to tell if this is plausible, but it's definitely amusing. and, weirdly, a very touching examination of the relationship between a goalkeeper and his last defender. (Ferdinand/van der Sar)
one inch tall, by onthose-strings. well, if I'm investigating the Uruguayans anyway... fluffy and oh-so-sweet! (Forlan/Suarez)
the difference in the shades, by brojan. Cesc and David Villa is not a pairing that would have really occurred to me, but the author makes it work. in fact, she makes it lovely. and the cameos from Pique are absolutely flawless. (Villa/Fabregas)
And I Want What's Better for You, by neverspilt. hee, I will never get sick of overprotective big brothers as a plot device. and Unai Casillas is super-cute! what, I never claimed to be deep or anything. (Ramos/Unai Casillas)
All That Really Matters, In The End, by luxover. so this was written for me and therefore you're probably not going to trust me but you absolutely should when I tell you that it is BRILLIANT. it is literally everything I want in Barça B fic and this pairing, wrapped up in a shiny incestuous bow. ahhhh I want to hold this fic to my bosom and never let it go. (Thiago Alcantara/Rafa Alcantara)
if not, by brojan. okay, I would say I'm sorry for reccing so much Messi/Villa but... yeah, not sorry at all. this is really lovely, understated but just enough to make you want to hug Leo forever and not let go. Villa and Silva once had a thing, Villa and Leo currently have a thing, Silva transfers to Barcelona. flawless Pique cameo as usual. (Villa/Messi)
shaking hands with a hurricane, by distantsailing. shameless porn! also good dialogue, but mainly here for the porn. (Gerrard/Alonso)
The Distance Between Two Bodies, by luxover. so much transfer angst to play with, so little time! in all seriousness, though, this fic deals with the weirdness of settling into a new team and still missing your old team and your old life really well, and the bits of domesticity amidst it all make me smile until my face hurts. it's hard to describe, but the alternation between heavier themes and humor in this fic is just right. also, Villa, you dumbass. and oh, Leo. (Villa/Silva)
befores and afters, by brojan. I am kind of running out of new ways to say "IT'S MESSI/VILLA GO READ IT NOW" so... yeah, leaving it at that. amazing cameos from various Barça players as well! (Villa/Messi)
A Laughable Stand, by neverspilt. Sergio Ramos, Iker Casillas, closeted sex. I was going to file it under angst, but it ends hopefully and I want to believe that it could have a happy ending after all. (Casillas/Ramos)
Untitled, by thedevilchicken. happened to run across this again and thought, wait, why didn't I rec it already? man, I love immature, slightly insecure Zlatan. and Henke is the only one who could always put him in his place. (Larsson/Ibrahimovic)
in defense of silence, by brojan. Barcelona lose. Leo is a pissy bitch. Villa's stuck putting up with him. I really enjoyed Leo being the jerk for once. (Messi/Villa)
Cuidado, by abitof_m0nkeys. Kaka taking care of Cristiano. the writing isn't flawless, but nothing a quick beta-scrub couldn't fix, and it's sweet. (Kaka/Ronaldo)
"thank you for last night", by zanoranna. Cesc goes over to Fernando's to watch el Clasico and take care of Fernando. I didn't read the pairings ahead of time, and I thought the reveal was cleverly done. guess I'm about to spoil it for you, though. (Fabregas/Torres, mentions of Casillas/Fabregas and Villa/Torres) Villa/Torres sequels: Turn It Up To Thirty (aka, Fuck the Curfew) and Payback's Fair Enough
like a shadow, fade, by mardia. Cesc goes to Theo for some post-loss loving. hot hot hot. comm-locked to footballslash, join to read. (Walcott/Fabregas)
flawless fill for a flawless prompt, by an anon at footballkink2. slutty Messi plus el Piqueton equals hotness. full prompt and subsequent discussion included for hilarity. (Pique/Messi)
nada valgo sin tu amor, by distira. shamelessly hot threesome porn, and the characterization works surprisingly well, given the people involved. (Johnson/Silva/Villa)
Champagne Supernova, by justkisa. is there anything better than happy gangbang? yeah, I thought not. Joe Hart gets down on his knees and shows most of Man City a really, really good time. (full disclosure, I beta'ed this.) (Man City/Hart, Given/Hart)
jeunesse en proie à l'amour vagissant, by distira. porn. um. yup. enjoy! (Casillas/Ramos)
Let's Hear It for the Boy, by justkisa. porn porn porn glorious pornnnnnnn and it comes with beautiful characterization and a Villa who's a dick but not very lovable and the slow reveal of what Silva really wants and all things wonderful but this being me I'm mostly sitting here going YAY GANGBANG!!! (full disclosure, I beta'ed this.) (Marchena/Silva, La Roja/Silva)
ferris wheels carried us away, by distira. how much do I love that people are falling for Thiago Alcantara left and right? a lot. duh. the emerging bromance between Thiago and Iker Muniain definitely needed to be documented! (full disclosure, this was a present to meeeee~ feel free to feel jealous) (Thiago Alcantara/Muniain, mentions of Thiago Alcantara/Rafa Alcantara)
Leavetaking, by centimetre-fics. Rio Ferdinand and Edwin van der Sar and their rather unique take on post-loss hurt/comfort. short and not very sweet, but really lovely. flocked, sorry; ask to be added. (Ferdinand/van der Sar)
Four and Twenty Million Doors, by ladytelemachus. do you see these hearts in my eyes? good goddamn. I read all twenty thousand-plus words of this on my phone and loved it past understanding. it's going to be the fic that makes you love Man City. one year of Adam falling for Silva at City, and you'll fall for all three. (Johnson/Silva)
the cleverness of me, by mardia. Liverpool bbs get it on. posted to footballslash, join to read. (Martin Kelly/Conor Coady)
kiss me through the phone, by distira. Javi and Iker have hilariously awkward phonesex. (Martinez/Muniain)
The Nature of Humanity and Badass Spaceships (Anyone Else But You), by acchikocchi. 2010-11 through the eyes of Alvaro Arbeloa, aka his long slow slide into love with Raul Albiol. also some football gets played. (Arbeloa/Albiol, mention of past Albiol/Silva)
Famous Last Words, by audiologic. a fic about two guys I've never heard of before in Chile which is nevertheless amazing. (Mark Gonzalez/Matias Fernandez)
the best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun, by nahco3. really brilliant fic about Mesut getting repeatedly turned into a woman; the only way he can turn back is to have sex with Sami. the requisite humor is there, but Mesut's sense of violation at being stuck in a body that isn't his is handled brilliantly. (Khedira/Özil)
when you turn around, by topnote. Robin van Persie, dealing with his retirement and inevitable midlife crisis. some stylistic decisions I don't agree with (the use of fragments for sentences is really, really excessive) but the story itself is lovely and understated, and I decided it was worth overlooking a few quirks. (van Persie/Wilshere, some van Persie/Vermaelen)
crash into me, by mardia. after Arsenal lose 8-2 to ManUtd and Tottenham lose 1-5 to Man City, Gareth goes over to Theo's to commiserate. or, uh, "commiserate". edging closer to a happy ending for these two? comm-locked to footballslash, join to read. (Bale/Walcott)
Certain Things, by luxover. short but mostly sweet fic in which Kaka never recovered from his spinal injury when he was 18. I have no idea if this is a realistic portrayal of sex for someone with that degree of paralysis but it's a lovely story. (Ronaldo/Kaka)
Pure Morning, by fliccu. delightful morning sex PWP. prose is a little purple but damn it's hot. (Silva/Johnson)
Chop Me Up, by starbrigid at footballslash. Cristiano Ronaldo and Jens Lehmann, in the steam room, with the massage oil. it works surprisingly well. (Lehmann/Ronaldo)
castizo y generoso, todo nervio y corazón, by dorkorific at footballslash. porn porn extremely pornographic porn! comm-locked, sorry; join to read. (Real Madrid orgy, Kaka/Ronaldo)
And Socks Don't Count, by neverspilt. strip Parchis! (Arbeloa/Albiol/Alonso)
Three (is a magic number), by ecocline. I love me a good Argie threesome. (Agüero/Messi/Higuain)
From Prague to Podgorica, by fliccu. phonesex. really hot phonesex. (Silva/Johnson)
So Right, by neverspilt. how el Chori got his nickname. (Arbeloa/Albiol)
short stories of fallen kings, by brojan. really bittersweet post-retirement fic, but it ends hopefully and it's so lovely. (Messi/Villa)
Like the Lights That Light the Night, by justkisa. Vegas, baby! ugh I just have so many feeeeeeeelings. only some of which are related to how unbelievably smoking hot this is. full disclosure, I helped beta this and have absolutely no objectivity whatsoever left but who cares because it is awesome. (Silva/Johnson) extraordinarily ouchy Joe Hart/Gareth Barry companion fic that, left to its own devices, would be filed under "hurts so good": Just Pretend Now
Many Times, Many Ways, by ladytelemachus for the 2011 footballslash holiday exchange. Adam goes to visit Silva and Silva's family in Spain for Christmas. ALL THE FEELINGS EVER. (Silva/Johnson)
Half-time, by lobelia321. Cris/Kaka that predates their transfers to Madrid! it's pretty interesting to see what has and hasn't changed since the 2006 World Cup. they're both still perfectly and hilariously obnoxious in their own special way, for one. (Ronaldo/Kaka)
Untitled, by thedevilchicken for footballslash's 2007 OTP Fic Exchange. don't know the characters, but it's endearingly awkward and hot hookup fic, so it doesn't really matter! (Mladen Petrić/Ivan Rakitić)
Crack the Shutters, by fliccu. short, sweet and lovely, and I adore David's speech patterns in this. and, you know. it's also really hot. (Silva/Johnson) sequel: take a deep break (take in all that you could want)
Couldn't Be So Wrong, by justkisa. filthy, delicious porn about the corruption of one Denis Suarez by David Silva and co. and characterization too! (Silva, Hart, Johnson and Denis Suarez in various combinations)
Rounding Out Family, by luxover at footie-bang. the complications of falling in love with someone when you've already got a family to worry about: not addressed in this fandom nearly enough. warning for kidfic, obviously. (Ronaldo/Özil)
as restless as the sea, by irradiant at 5thofficial. the infamous story of the match with the face mask. the baby dream team is, as always, too precious for words. (Pique/Messi)
trains run on time, by nahco3 at 5thofficial. the Mario Balotelli fic you never knew you needed until you read it and realized what you were missing. (Mancini/Balotelli)
Break, by fandomonymous at valentinesplay. some well-earned stress relief for one Philipp Lahm. (Lahm/Ottl)
Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong, by ladytelemachus. bit of humor, bit of angst, bit of boys being ridiculous, bit of oral sex: something for everyone! (Hart/Johnson)
men seldom make passes, by imaginarysound. shameless glasses!porn. it doesn't get any better than this. (Bale/Walcott)
dressed me up in women's clothes, by justkisa. I am fairly certain I didn't have a cross-dressing kink before reading this. no comment on my feelings afterwards. (Silva/Johnson)
trova la via al mare, by vlieger. creaky old Italians before they got that way, and just a bit after, too. (Buffon/Cannavaro)
don't tread, by distira at santjordi. a bit of not-really-hatesex for a pair of real American heroes. (Dempsey/Donovan)
another kiss, and you'll be mine, by mardia for santjordi. a very hot and very sweet moment between Theo and Gareth. (Bale/Walcott)
The Games You Play You Would Always Win, by justkisa at santjordi. David Pizarro knows what his manager wants, and he's pretty sure Silva would be happy to give it to him. blindingly hot and rather kinky, as manager-player relationships should be! full disclosure, this was written for me. (Mancini/Silva, Pizarro/Silva)
Something in the Difference, by luxover for santjordi. a very cute and domestic fic about Mesut's slightly pudgy stomach, and the fact that Cristiano really, really likes it. (Ronaldo/Özil)
untitled Alcantaracest fill by an anon footballkink2. straightforward victory porn, but it's the Alcantara brothers so it's sweet too. (Thiago Alcantara/Rafa Alcantara)
54, by abitof-m0nkeys. shameless cule id-fic. Barcelona win the Champions League and the Baby Dream Team celebrate with drunken and slightly kinky sex. (Messi/Pique/Fabregas)
*The Same Last Dream Again, by missmollyetc. adorable Baby Dream Team hookup fic on the occasion of Cesc's birthday. full disclosure, this was my prompt. (Messi/Pique/Fabregas)
(click the links for the remaining subsections)
makes me go :D
LADIES
David Villa is a lovable dicksmack
hurts so good
AUs!
I'll be back with more, I'm sure. vaguely on hiatus, though I'll certainly add anything I'm moved to; I'm just not actively looking anymore. fics added in the most recent update have an asterisk beside them.
UPDATED 03/16/13
note - commenting is disabled on this post because I get a ridiculous amount of spam on it. (this has the unfortunate effect of hiding the lovely comments on this page, sorry.) if there's something you want to tell me (something for me to read? dead link notification? something is locked and I didn't warn for it?), follow any of the links above to the second half of the list and comment there! you can even comment anonymously if you like. I would really love to hear from you, it's just annoying to have to delete comments from Russian spambots all the time. hope it's not too much of an inconvenience!