Guys, I am reading Will and Ian Ferguson's book How To Be A Canadian that I picked up for $6 at a book sale on campus. And dudes, let me tell you: instant classic. I mean, first of all, it was apparently all Margaret Atwood's idea, so you know it's gold. I'm only thirty pages in right now, and I'm LOLing every third paragraph. I can tell the trufax
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If they mention smoked meat on poutine at any point, I will forgive your trespasses.
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Chapter 7 is about food. I'm sure they WILL mention it. :P
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"There are 30,000,000 people in Canada--all of whom have, at some point, frozen their tongues to the side of a chainlink fence or flagpole."
You share fab LOLS! XD
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(It IS LOL-worthy and TRUE... though I confess that I, myself, have only frozen my tongue to the bars on schoolyard climbers. Totally count,s though!)
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I am at the descriptions of the provinces now and I am DYING.
"Alberta: "Back Up, Nice and Slow, and No One Gets Hurt."
Location:Left of Centre (oddly enough).
Main Exports: Wealth and alienation.
Giant Ukrainian Easter Egg: Yes.
Giant Statue of a Sausage: Yes.
Giant Perogy: Yes.
Statue of King Kong Yes.
UFO Landing Pad: Yes.
What, are they crazy?: And how!
Provincial Motto: "We have oil. We have money. We have guns. Don't piss us off.""
HEEEEEE. Hee. He had me at "Giant Perogy."
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Start with Newfoundland.
"Newfoundlanders are also the friendliest people in Canada. Of course they're friendly. They want to have sex with you."
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Also: "Manitoba: The Gateway To Saskatchewan."
*dies*
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