Step One: Get a Big Hat
Guys, I am reading Will and Ian Ferguson's book How To Be A Canadian that I picked up for $6 at a book sale on campus. And dudes, let me tell you: instant classic. I mean, first of all, it was apparently all Margaret Atwood's idea, so you know it's gold. I'm only thirty pages in right now, and I'm LOLing every third paragraph. I can tell the trufax in this book are going to be mind-blowing.
I have already read such gems as:
"There are 30,000,000 people in Canada--all of whom have, at some point, frozen their tongues to the side of a chainlink fence or flagpole."
"Memo from God: I froze half your country, so I gave you extra."
"Canada has no fewer than six distinct seasons: Tax; Hockey; More Hockey; Still More Hockey; Summer (also known as the July Long Weekend, also known as "Was that it?"); and finally, Good God, Isn't the Hockey Season Over Yet?!"
"The natural habitat of Canadians is the shopping mall."
"Feeling offended is a popular Canadian pastime."
"I Was a Teenage Katima-victim!"
Guys, this is beautifully meshing my feelings about my country and my love of mockery into one book. I love it.
nos4a2no9, I know you liked Beauty Tips from Moose Jaw. You have to get this one, too, if you haven't already. Hee.
I have already read such gems as:
"There are 30,000,000 people in Canada--all of whom have, at some point, frozen their tongues to the side of a chainlink fence or flagpole."
"Memo from God: I froze half your country, so I gave you extra."
"Canada has no fewer than six distinct seasons: Tax; Hockey; More Hockey; Still More Hockey; Summer (also known as the July Long Weekend, also known as "Was that it?"); and finally, Good God, Isn't the Hockey Season Over Yet?!"
"The natural habitat of Canadians is the shopping mall."
"Feeling offended is a popular Canadian pastime."
"I Was a Teenage Katima-victim!"
Guys, this is beautifully meshing my feelings about my country and my love of mockery into one book. I love it.
nos4a2no9, I know you liked Beauty Tips from Moose Jaw. You have to get this one, too, if you haven't already. Hee.