Finding my own words, my own little stage
My own epic drama, my own scripted page
I'll send you the rough draft, I'll seal it with tears
Maybe you'll read it and I'll reappear

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rain and cold. it wasn't quite the sunday i hoped for. i woke up in the afternoon which hasn't been done since the summer. it was kind of refreshing. i got ready and headed to the mall with christian. after, we got some food at the diner. we came back to my house and watched gattaca. that's a pretty interesting flick. i love uma... i think if i ( Read more... )

heh... i'm home on a saturday night. i honestly didn't feel like socializing tonight. christian and his boys went to the bar and i just didn't feel like being around a susage party. so i made the choice to stay home ( Read more... )

sometimes i forget that there is life after pain. there is such a thing called laughter. there is such a thing called a smile. and i've done both. and i appreciate all i have in my life. i am thankful for the people that do care about it and would never take a knife to my back ( Read more... )

today was almost identical to yesterday but with an ounce more pain. it's funny, a few days ago i was starting to convince myself that i was going to be okay. i thought that i was stronger and more confident. and now... i feel as though i am defenseless and insubstantial. i feel like i am a little dot on a piece of paper. i know this drama will go ( Read more... )

something tough to break me, something sharp to rip into my insides and bleed out all that pain.

so lately the topic of conversation has been friendship. i may or may not know the true definition of friendship but i feel as though that word is an illusion. there are such things called "friendships" but sometimes what you see is not really there ( Read more... )

hmm.. well today was quite interesting. in fact, it was pretty emotional. first i got an e-mail from my cousin. she told me that even though my mother acts shady towards me, she really cares about me. and she told me examples of the little things she would say about me to her. like good things. and that made me cry like a little baby ( Read more... )

without it all,
i'm choking on nothing.
it's clear in my head,
and i'm screaming for something.
knowing nothing is better than knowing it all
on my own

my weekend was surely eventful. my parentals went to VA and I had a very peaceful house. i hung out with alex on friday night. we got stoned. it was pretty amusing. and i must say... the chocolate was suprub. saturday i did some errands/shopping with christian. that's always fun. later that day, we went to peter lugers. it is the best mother ( Read more... )

first.. i want to say thank you for the support. it means so much when people actually care. and i appreciate it sooo much. u guys seriously rawk my socks <3 ( Read more... )