201. fuck or die meme

[wildfidgey]

THE FUCK OR DIE MEME

Aaah, the sound of birds chirping outside your bedroom window. The sun is shining in through the windows. That weird collar around your neck is ticking, ready to self destuct soon. You crack your eyes open.
....Wait. How did that collar get there? What is this? It cannot come off, no matter how hard you pull at it.
And something

Comments

Penny <> The Big Bang Theory <> Open

[loveshernerds]

HAHA! ILU!

[loveshernerds]

Of all the people to be stuck with, it had to be Sheldon. Penny tugged on the collar and looked over at him. Normally, she'd try to comfort him but not this time. They were going to fucking die unless they had sex! And Penny was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen since she was pretty sure Sheldon didn't even have a penis.

"Please be quiet," she said from where she was sitting on the bed. "This would all go away if you'd have sex with me, you know."

8D <3

[drbazinga]

He let out a high-pitched noise of protest that couldn't really be identified as any particular word, then spluttered a bit.

"I think not, madam, sex is a completely pointless decidedly messy biological necessity that I refuse to conform to or partake in. Plus, it's messy, and what would meemaw say?"

He's tugging at the collar again, and peering in the mirror at it. "It's not a terribly complex contraption, if I had a small screwdriver set and a magnet I could have it off almost instantaneously."

He went over and started wrenching on the door. Which did not open, no matter if he tried it one-handed, both-handed, or braced his feet on the wall as he tugged.

[loveshernerds]

"Christ, Sheldon. You're acting like I'm diseased. And your meemaw would probably be happy that you finally got laid!" Penny snapped. Oh, she was going to kill whoever did this.

If she didn't die first, which was looking like a possible since getting Sheldon in bed would be impossible. And when he started to yank on the door, she sighed and went over to him.

"Sweetie, all we have to do is have sex. I'll even do all the work," she said with a look that was half-pleading and half-disgust. "Do you really want to die?"

[drbazinga]

He stared at her a moment as though he couldn't quite believe her. "Don't talk about my meemaw."

He still gripped the doorknob, pouting at her hysterically.

"Well... it would lower the collective intelligence of the entire world, and probably negate any chances we might have for scientific advances in areas such as time travel or hyperdisplacement theory." But he didn't want to.

But he didn't want to die.

"Penny. Penny, I don't want to die."

[loveshernerds]

Penny didn't want to either. She liked Sheldon enough to tolerate him and most of his quirks, but the thought of having sex with him wasn't a pleasant one. Suddenly, she wished she had alcohol. She could probably do this if she were drunk.

His pleading made her frown and she moved close enough to offer a loose and quick hug.

"I don't want to die either, but I don't know what else we can do," she said before a thought passed through her mind. "I can sing 'Soft Kitty' during it if you think will make you feel better."

Ijusthadto.

[orbinginalways]

"Penny..." Leo knocks on the door. "...Penny?" Leo knocks on the door again, slightly more urgently. He'd just moved in to the apartment upstairs and, after a brief encounter, with included questionnaire, with some whackadoodle called Sheldon he'd woke up with this collar around his neck after a nap.

And now he was about to do something rash.

*knock knock knock* "Penny...?"

Re: Ijusthadto.

[loveshernerds]

This had to be the worst wake up call ever. Being collared with a bomb, and finding a note that said she had to fuck someone just sucked. And when she heard the knocking and the voice that wasn't Sheldon, she sat there for a moment before getting up to answer it.

"Leo!" Oh god, it was Leo and he was wearing a collar too. Reaching out, she grabbed his arm and tugged him in. "Do you know who did this to us? Does anyone else have these collars on?"

[orbinginalways]

"No, but I have the strangest feeling that this has 'Sheldon' written all over it."

Leo sighs. Not that exploding would matter, he'd just reform, but he had to seem normal. "Dear god, you've got one, too?"

[loveshernerds]

"Why would Sheldon want to kill us?" Penny asked. Yeah, he was weird but why would he want to kill her?!

She tugged on the collar and nodded. "And I got a note, saying I have to have sex with someone or die."

[orbinginalways]

"I dunno, but why would anyone want to?" Leo sighs. "I got the same note, too. It's weird. Do we know any sadistic sex maniacs?"

[loveshernerds]

"Not that I can think of. Of course, I'm too worried about someone to have sex with so I don't die, you know," she said with a sigh.

[orbinginalways]

"Yeah, I know the feeling." Leo said, pulling at the collar. "You have any ideas? Other than...y'know..."

[loveshernerds]

"No, I don't. My parents were right, and moving to LA was a bad idea. This sort of thing doesn't happen in Nebraska!" She was starting to get hysterical because this was really messed up and she didn't want to die.

[orbinginalways]

"Hey, hey, hey..." Leo moves over to wrap his arms around Penny's shoulders.

"Well...If we can't find anyone..." Leo clears his throat. "I guess we'll have to do it."

"If you want, I mean."

[loveshernerds]

Penny snuggled against him and sighed. She liked Leo but it seemed a little weird that they were being forced to have sex together. However, there was no other choice.

"We have to have sex, I guess."