[Getting Cas there was simple, considering he was still trying to play the whole innocent act. Mention something about Crowley, something about a weapon, blah blah. All it took was a little nudge and a follow me, it's downstairs, and as soon as Cas stepped over the doorway to the panic room, he'd probably notice the enochian warding symbols keeping him firmly in place.
And he'd probably be pissed, but that didn't matter. It was too late for him to run, and it was for his own good.
Not to mention, you know, the goddamn world.
Dean crossed his arms, expression schooled into something angry and blank, and stood just outside of the doorway.
[Castiel was arrogant, that was one of his biggest weaknesses. He had pride, so much of it because he was an angel , he had been revived by God himself time and time again. Castiel knew he was in the right, knew that it was on his shoulders to save the world and knew he could not ask Dean Winchester to bear such a burden once more. It was up to him, Castiel was on his own and that was fine because he could do the heavy lifting and save the world himself if he had to.
The only thing was that he wasn't expecting Dean Winchester to be the one to try and stop him. Dean was suppose to understand, accept the fact that what Castiel was doing was for the good of the planet and the human race. He wasn't suppose to trick Castiel and lock him in the panic room. Dena was suppose to trust him
( ... )
[He got saving the world- he got that. The angelic civil war, the apocalypse, yes, it sucked, but making deals with demons? Cas was such a fucking child, he was so fucking arrogant to think he could pull off something like this. Like cracking purgatory? That was like nuking a house to kill a cockroach infestation. Yeah, it'd get the job done, but not without some serious fuck ups in the process.
And he knew- he knew. He sold his soul, Sam fucked around with Ruby, they both ran tail for Crowley, they knew. And Cas, of course, thought that because he was an angel, he was above the rules.
At least, he's hoping that's Cas's mindset, and that he hasn't actually gone around the bend. Frankly, Cas is the only non-human he's ever put any faith in. Hell, he's the only non family member he's ever trusted. And he does, more than anything- or, he did, hell, he doesn't even know anymore
( ... )
[Castiel had no choice but to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders by himself. He had to. Raphael was slowly taking over heaven, Castiel fought him tooth and bone and still wasn't strong enough to stop an archangel. The angel went to Dean, ready to ask for help, ready to beg but then he saw Dean there, in his mundane life. Raking up leaves outside the place he now called home. Hadn't Dean suffered enough? The loss of not one but two brothers? The people he once called family now dead and buried in the ground? Dean was alone, and he was happy here with Lisa and Ben. Who was Castiel to dag the hunter from that for his own selfish reasons
( ... )
[Yeah. Dean's suffered enough. And this? This is causing suffering more than fighting against the angels again ever would. He's already lost two brothers, given up a son, given up Lisa, but losing Cas, too? They were supposed to be...
Well... more than this.
Dean lifted his eyes as Cas approached, face still firm despite the proximity. Because maybe, where he couldn't say it, Cas would see. They'd always been able to do that, been able to communicate somehow, but lately... Cas is closed off. Shutting him down.]
I get that.
[He snapped it out automatically- because he did. Cas didn't seem to understand that Dean got it. And doing this? Was still wrong.]
And I'm all for that, but first, I'm gonna save you. Open your fucking eyes, Cas. If it were any other goddamn person on the planet planning this, we'd be stopping them. Because it's wrong, and I don't give a damn how good your intentions are- it's wrong.
[Castiel snapped back, his nails digging in to the palm o his hand from how hard he was clenching his fists. Yes, they were suppose to be different. He and Dean... what they had was special. No matter how much Castiels brothers mocked him for their relationship there was always some air of truth to it. Didn't Dean understand? Castiel was doing this to protect him. To save him.
The two of them used to be able to speak to each other with just a look but now Castiel had pulled away. Always one who was bad at lying it was easier to run, to hide from Dean then to admit that he was frightened. That he didn't want to lose. That he couldn't. The angel growled, cutting his hand through the air to cut Deans response short.]
I do not need to be saved! Wrong, right, it doesn't matter. It's what needs to be done. There is no other way to stop Raphael, Dean! And I refuse to let him with. I won't throw our efforts out the window, I will stop him even if it means my life! And this is the only way.
[Cas shutting him out with his eyes pisses him off more than his snapped retort. Anger, he can work with, but this? It's nothing, it's like that whole profound bond thing is crap, and that's just- it's more insulting than it should be, really. It hurts more than he's going to admit.
Which is to say, he's not going to admit it at all.
The hurt flashed across his face for less than a second, instantly covered by his patented go to: immense, dark irritation. Fine. If that's how it's gonna be, why the fuck should he care?
...Except that, well, he did. God damn it.]
Cas-
[It's quiet, serious, and just shy of pleading. The one he never uses, except for with Cas and Sam. The closest he's willing to come to admit just how broken and fucked up this is making him.]
Cas, look at me. I just need you to be you right now- god damn it, just talk to me, just stop this whole Soldier of the World thing and just be me and you for a second.
[Castiel had to cut himself off. He had to become hard and thoughtless, drive himself on instict so he could trust himself to actually do the work that was needed of him. He couldn't risk this not working, he couldn't risk failing because f he did then it meant Dean would be in danger again and that was just unacceptable.
The angel was putting everything on the line, including himself, once again for Dean Winchester. Didn't he get that? Did it not mean anything?
The way that Dean said his name, the plea made the angel wince. He didn't enjoy being on this side against Dean. He didn't like it one bit. It was tearing him in two inside. Dean was always the one who got under his skin, showed him how to feel. And now that they were against one another...
Slowly Castiel looked up, his blue eyes meeting those of Green. And honestly? Castiel just looked hurt, broken, and tired. Oh so tired. And his voice matched the level of exhaustion.]
Sorry about the iconfailing, my internet's being tetchy so I have to tag from my phone.fromtherackSeptember 13 2012, 00:55:04 UTC
[Didn't Cas get it? If you have to make yourself thoughtless, if you drive off of instinct and shove down knowledge, shove down emotions, that's what makes you inhuman. That's what makes you just another supernatural thing striving for power. This is worse than going back to the hammer he used to be- this is becomming something...
Something bad. God, Cas, don't do this. Don't do this to him, or to yourself. He'll take the pain and the fighting, because nothing's worth that.
Maybe he's selfish. Or maybe he's just been through this life long enough to trust his gut, and his gut's screaming that this is wrong.
He met Cas's broken gaze, and good. Let it hurt, let it be broken, because at least he was goddamn feeling something for once. He hesitated, and then with a slow, pointed move, he stepped over the threshold of the panic room and moved into the danger zone. Cas's personal space, away from the protective ring of wards. If Cas wanted to, he could slam Dean up against a wall just like he'd done in that alley, could beat the ever
( ... )
Its all good! Sorry for the slow respnse holy_hand_printSeptember 14 2012, 04:20:11 UTC
[Castiel wasn't built to feel emotion. He was made to follow orders, and after meeting Dean Winchester he turned against his Brethren in heaven and stopped the apocalypse. He learned to feel, cared for the people around him and that was his greatest downfall. Castiel cared, would rather see himself burn then to risk Dean losing something else in this cruel world.
Dean, Please understand, hes doing this for you. Castiel will battle all of heaven, turn against his brothers once again just so you don't have to fight as well. Just so you have some peace with your new family.
Castiel is selfish as well. He doesn't understand why he just knows that he didn't want Dean involved. If there was any way to fight this war with out Dean knowing Castiel would of. He doesn't want Dean losing anyone else
( ... )
Same here- grandmother had health issues and I've been distracted forever. I'm so sorry!fromtherackOctober 6 2012, 23:36:59 UTC
[Dean doesn't have a new family. Dean doesn't have Lisa and Ben- not in the way that most people would in his situation. Not anymore, anyway, not after what he did to Ben. And it didn't matter- it had always been a hollow thing with them, lacking the deep pull and bond that he'd had with Cas and with Sam. He'd felt indebted to them, he'd felt responsible for them, and he'd cared about them viciously, but it just... He was never mean to have that life. And he's alright with that, as long as he's got Cas and Sam and Bobby. He's okay with that.
But now, this shit with Cas, and Sam's been fucked up for so long...
Dean is losing someone else. He's losing Cas. And that's just... un fucking acceptable. No.
His steps were slow and careful as he moved forward, stopping less than a foot from Cas, mouth drawn down in a pleading grimace. He just... he wasn't getting it. He wasn't listening.]That's not true. We both know it. If you weren't made with a heart, you never would have prayed to spare that town. Just because your angelic dick
( ... )
I hope your grandmother is alright. Sorry for my later response as well, im traveling. holy_hand_printOctober 16 2012, 17:30:54 UTC
[Castiel wanted so bad to retreat, to step away and disappear in his well know flutter of wings. Yet he was held in, trapped in the panic room because Dean cared and was trying to stop him. Damn it, Dean cared and it made this all the more difficult. The angel shifted in his spot, looking uncomfortable and watching Dean carefully like a horse with a history of abuse. ]
My prayers were useless in the end. God doesn't listen.
[The angel nearly sucked in a breath when he felt Deans hand curl around his arm. The spot... so close to the one where he marked Dean. His mark on the chosen man, his grace burned in to the soul. And then there was pain in his eyes, he looked wounded, his voice broken.]
Dean No. No. You can not do this, it is so beyond you- You can not help me.
She's much better. I hope your trip is fun.fromtherackOctober 16 2012, 23:57:21 UTC
[Yeah, well, this wouldn't be the first time Dean caring about someone made them pissed off, made them want to leave. Join the long line of people that had fucked off to get away from Dean's 'care', Cas. Try not to die in the process, because that seemed to happen to all of them, too.]
Doesn't matter. It's the point, man.
[Yeah. Cas looked wounded. He looked open. He looked real for the first goddamn time since he showed up all those months ago and told Dean he couldn't afford to feel things. Fuck that. That's not his Cas. This is.]
Beyond me? I stopped a friggin' apocalypse. I think I can handle it, and as always, thanks for your moral support, Mister Chrysler Building. Lemme know if my insignificance factors in again in the future. I can help you, Cas, if you'd stop being so god damn arrogant.
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And he'd probably be pissed, but that didn't matter. It was too late for him to run, and it was for his own good.
Not to mention, you know, the goddamn world.
Dean crossed his arms, expression schooled into something angry and blank, and stood just outside of the doorway.
On the bright side, at least Purgatory was safe.]
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The only thing was that he wasn't expecting Dean Winchester to be the one to try and stop him. Dean was suppose to understand, accept the fact that what Castiel was doing was for the good of the planet and the human race. He wasn't suppose to trick Castiel and lock him in the panic room. Dena was suppose to trust him ( ... )
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And he knew- he knew. He sold his soul, Sam fucked around with Ruby, they both ran tail for Crowley, they knew. And Cas, of course, thought that because he was an angel, he was above the rules.
At least, he's hoping that's Cas's mindset, and that he hasn't actually gone around the bend. Frankly, Cas is the only non-human he's ever put any faith in. Hell, he's the only non family member he's ever trusted. And he does, more than anything- or, he did, hell, he doesn't even know anymore ( ... )
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Well... more than this.
Dean lifted his eyes as Cas approached, face still firm despite the proximity. Because maybe, where he couldn't say it, Cas would see. They'd always been able to do that, been able to communicate somehow, but lately... Cas is closed off. Shutting him down.]
I get that.
[He snapped it out automatically- because he did. Cas didn't seem to understand that Dean got it. And doing this? Was still wrong.]
And I'm all for that, but first, I'm gonna save you. Open your fucking eyes, Cas. If it were any other goddamn person on the planet planning this, we'd be stopping them. Because it's wrong, and I don't give a damn how good your intentions are- it's wrong.
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[Castiel snapped back, his nails digging in to the palm o his hand from how hard he was clenching his fists. Yes, they were suppose to be different. He and Dean... what they had was special. No matter how much Castiels brothers mocked him for their relationship there was always some air of truth to it. Didn't Dean understand? Castiel was doing this to protect him. To save him.
The two of them used to be able to speak to each other with just a look but now Castiel had pulled away. Always one who was bad at lying it was easier to run, to hide from Dean then to admit that he was frightened. That he didn't want to lose. That he couldn't. The angel growled, cutting his hand through the air to cut Deans response short.]
I do not need to be saved! Wrong, right, it doesn't matter. It's what needs to be done. There is no other way to stop Raphael, Dean! And I refuse to let him with. I won't throw our efforts out the window, I will stop him even if it means my life! And this is the only way.
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Which is to say, he's not going to admit it at all.
The hurt flashed across his face for less than a second, instantly covered by his patented go to: immense, dark irritation. Fine. If that's how it's gonna be, why the fuck should he care?
...Except that, well, he did. God damn it.]
Cas-
[It's quiet, serious, and just shy of pleading. The one he never uses, except for with Cas and Sam. The closest he's willing to come to admit just how broken and fucked up this is making him.]
Cas, look at me. I just need you to be you right now- god damn it, just talk to me, just stop this whole Soldier of the World thing and just be me and you for a second.
[A beat.]
Please.
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The angel was putting everything on the line, including himself, once again for Dean Winchester. Didn't he get that? Did it not mean anything?
The way that Dean said his name, the plea made the angel wince. He didn't enjoy being on this side against Dean. He didn't like it one bit. It was tearing him in two inside. Dean was always the one who got under his skin, showed him how to feel. And now that they were against one another...
Slowly Castiel looked up, his blue eyes meeting those of Green. And honestly? Castiel just looked hurt, broken, and tired. Oh so tired. And his voice matched the level of exhaustion.]
...What do you want me to say, Dean?
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Something bad. God, Cas, don't do this. Don't do this to him, or to yourself. He'll take the pain and the fighting, because nothing's worth that.
Maybe he's selfish. Or maybe he's just been through this life long enough to trust his gut, and his gut's screaming that this is wrong.
He met Cas's broken gaze, and good. Let it hurt, let it be broken, because at least he was goddamn feeling something for once. He hesitated, and then with a slow, pointed move, he stepped over the threshold of the panic room and moved into the danger zone. Cas's personal space, away from the protective ring of wards. If Cas wanted to, he could slam Dean up against a wall just like he'd done in that alley, could beat the ever ( ... )
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Dean, Please understand, hes doing this for you. Castiel will battle all of heaven, turn against his brothers once again just so you don't have to fight as well. Just so you have some peace with your new family.
Castiel is selfish as well. He doesn't understand why he just knows that he didn't want Dean involved. If there was any way to fight this war with out Dean knowing Castiel would of. He doesn't want Dean losing anyone else ( ... )
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But now, this shit with Cas, and Sam's been fucked up for so long...
Dean is losing someone else. He's losing Cas. And that's just... un fucking acceptable. No.
His steps were slow and careful as he moved forward, stopping less than a foot from Cas, mouth drawn down in a pleading grimace. He just... he wasn't getting it. He wasn't listening.]That's not true. We both know it. If you weren't made with a heart, you never would have prayed to spare that town. Just because your angelic dick ( ... )
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My prayers were useless in the end. God doesn't listen.
[The angel nearly sucked in a breath when he felt Deans hand curl around his arm. The spot... so close to the one where he marked Dean. His mark on the chosen man, his grace burned in to the soul. And then there was pain in his eyes, he looked wounded, his voice broken.]
Dean No. No. You can not do this, it is so beyond you- You can not help me.
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Doesn't matter. It's the point, man.
[Yeah. Cas looked wounded. He looked open. He looked real for the first goddamn time since he showed up all those months ago and told Dean he couldn't afford to feel things. Fuck that. That's not his Cas. This is.]
Beyond me? I stopped a friggin' apocalypse. I think I can handle it, and as always, thanks for your moral support, Mister Chrysler Building. Lemme know if my insignificance factors in again in the future. I can help you, Cas, if you'd stop being so god damn arrogant.
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