1195. Expanded Captivity Meme

Sep 08, 2012 19:17

THE (EXPANDED) CAPTIVITY MEME


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warning: possible triggers, crack-humor, rated: pg13

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fromtherack September 10 2012, 05:01:18 UTC
[He got saving the world- he got that. The angelic civil war, the apocalypse, yes, it sucked, but making deals with demons? Cas was such a fucking child, he was so fucking arrogant to think he could pull off something like this. Like cracking purgatory? That was like nuking a house to kill a cockroach infestation. Yeah, it'd get the job done, but not without some serious fuck ups in the process.

And he knew- he knew. He sold his soul, Sam fucked around with Ruby, they both ran tail for Crowley, they knew. And Cas, of course, thought that because he was an angel, he was above the rules.

At least, he's hoping that's Cas's mindset, and that he hasn't actually gone around the bend. Frankly, Cas is the only non-human he's ever put any faith in. Hell, he's the only non family member he's ever trusted. And he does, more than anything- or, he did, hell, he doesn't even know anymore...

Either way, he's not letting this happen. Not on his watch.

His expression didn't change, not even slightly, as Cas looked around, as understanding dawned, as his shoulders squared.

His jaw did tense, though, the muscles jerking and jumping, and he dropped his eyes to the floor. Because it wasn't easy. Not even a little.]

You know I'm not gonna do that.

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holy_hand_print September 10 2012, 16:26:28 UTC
[Castiel had no choice but to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders by himself. He had to. Raphael was slowly taking over heaven, Castiel fought him tooth and bone and still wasn't strong enough to stop an archangel. The angel went to Dean, ready to ask for help, ready to beg but then he saw Dean there, in his mundane life. Raking up leaves outside the place he now called home. Hadn't Dean suffered enough? The loss of not one but two brothers? The people he once called family now dead and buried in the ground? Dean was alone, and he was happy here with Lisa and Ben. Who was Castiel to dag the hunter from that for his own selfish reasons?

And then Crowley appeared with the answers to all of Castiels problems. And best of all Dean would remain far away from the fray. How could Castiel deny such an offer? He was an angel, he would not be fooled by Crowley. With one final look to Dean Castiel turned and made his way down that dark path to Purgatory.

Now here they were. Dean knows of Castiels plans, his treachery. And he locked Castiel away to stop him. Why? Didn't Dean understand? Didn't he get that this was all for him? Everything so Dean could live his life away from the chaos that was a war in heaven. Didn't he understand? ]

Why are you doing this?

[Castiel growled, stepping forward so he was just at the frame of the door of the panic room. He wanted to reach out, to touch Dean but he couldn't thanks to the binding spell.]

I am trying to save the world. Your world. Do you really want a second apocalypse?

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fromtherack September 11 2012, 06:12:00 UTC
[Yeah. Dean's suffered enough. And this? This is causing suffering more than fighting against the angels again ever would. He's already lost two brothers, given up a son, given up Lisa, but losing Cas, too? They were supposed to be...

Well... more than this.

Dean lifted his eyes as Cas approached, face still firm despite the proximity. Because maybe, where he couldn't say it, Cas would see. They'd always been able to do that, been able to communicate somehow, but lately... Cas is closed off. Shutting him down.]

I get that.

[He snapped it out automatically- because he did. Cas didn't seem to understand that Dean got it. And doing this? Was still wrong.]

And I'm all for that, but first, I'm gonna save you. Open your fucking eyes, Cas. If it were any other goddamn person on the planet planning this, we'd be stopping them. Because it's wrong, and I don't give a damn how good your intentions are- it's wrong.

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holy_hand_print September 11 2012, 16:53:06 UTC
Yet you offer no solutions.

[Castiel snapped back, his nails digging in to the palm o his hand from how hard he was clenching his fists. Yes, they were suppose to be different. He and Dean... what they had was special. No matter how much Castiels brothers mocked him for their relationship there was always some air of truth to it. Didn't Dean understand? Castiel was doing this to protect him. To save him.

The two of them used to be able to speak to each other with just a look but now Castiel had pulled away. Always one who was bad at lying it was easier to run, to hide from Dean then to admit that he was frightened. That he didn't want to lose. That he couldn't. The angel growled, cutting his hand through the air to cut Deans response short.]

I do not need to be saved! Wrong, right, it doesn't matter. It's what needs to be done. There is no other way to stop Raphael, Dean! And I refuse to let him with. I won't throw our efforts out the window, I will stop him even if it means my life! And this is the only way.

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fromtherack September 12 2012, 06:24:29 UTC
[Cas shutting him out with his eyes pisses him off more than his snapped retort. Anger, he can work with, but this? It's nothing, it's like that whole profound bond thing is crap, and that's just- it's more insulting than it should be, really. It hurts more than he's going to admit.

Which is to say, he's not going to admit it at all.

The hurt flashed across his face for less than a second, instantly covered by his patented go to: immense, dark irritation. Fine. If that's how it's gonna be, why the fuck should he care?

...Except that, well, he did. God damn it.]

Cas-

[It's quiet, serious, and just shy of pleading. The one he never uses, except for with Cas and Sam. The closest he's willing to come to admit just how broken and fucked up this is making him.]

Cas, look at me. I just need you to be you right now- god damn it, just talk to me, just stop this whole Soldier of the World thing and just be me and you for a second.

[A beat.]

Please.

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holy_hand_print September 12 2012, 14:18:40 UTC
[Castiel had to cut himself off. He had to become hard and thoughtless, drive himself on instict so he could trust himself to actually do the work that was needed of him. He couldn't risk this not working, he couldn't risk failing because f he did then it meant Dean would be in danger again and that was just unacceptable.

The angel was putting everything on the line, including himself, once again for Dean Winchester. Didn't he get that? Did it not mean anything?

The way that Dean said his name, the plea made the angel wince. He didn't enjoy being on this side against Dean. He didn't like it one bit. It was tearing him in two inside. Dean was always the one who got under his skin, showed him how to feel. And now that they were against one another...

Slowly Castiel looked up, his blue eyes meeting those of Green. And honestly? Castiel just looked hurt, broken, and tired. Oh so tired. And his voice matched the level of exhaustion.]

...What do you want me to say, Dean?

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Sorry about the iconfailing, my internet's being tetchy so I have to tag from my phone. fromtherack September 13 2012, 00:55:04 UTC
[Didn't Cas get it? If you have to make yourself thoughtless, if you drive off of instinct and shove down knowledge, shove down emotions, that's what makes you inhuman. That's what makes you just another supernatural thing striving for power. This is worse than going back to the hammer he used to be- this is becomming something...

Something bad. God, Cas, don't do this. Don't do this to him, or to yourself. He'll take the pain and the fighting, because nothing's worth that.

Maybe he's selfish. Or maybe he's just been through this life long enough to trust his gut, and his gut's screaming that this is wrong.

He met Cas's broken gaze, and good. Let it hurt, let it be broken, because at least he was goddamn feeling something for once. He hesitated, and then with a slow, pointed move, he stepped over the threshold of the panic room and moved into the danger zone. Cas's personal space, away from the protective ring of wards. If Cas wanted to, he could slam Dean up against a wall just like he'd done in that alley, could beat the ever loving shit out of him until he took down the wards and let the angel free.

He tried not to think about that, tried to believe Cas wouldn't do that, tried to trust him in spite of all the shit raining down. Because he had to believe it was still his friend in there, and not the idiotic, blind machine he was turning into.]

I don't want you to say anything. I want you to just stop for a second, stop thinking about your mission, about the world, and just feel. I know you've got a heart, I know for a fact that it's in there, I know who you are. And I know that if you'll just stop for just a second to listen to it, it's gonna tell you what you're doing is wrong.

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Its all good! Sorry for the slow respnse holy_hand_print September 14 2012, 04:20:11 UTC
[Castiel wasn't built to feel emotion. He was made to follow orders, and after meeting Dean Winchester he turned against his Brethren in heaven and stopped the apocalypse. He learned to feel, cared for the people around him and that was his greatest downfall. Castiel cared, would rather see himself burn then to risk Dean losing something else in this cruel world.

Dean, Please understand, hes doing this for you. Castiel will battle all of heaven, turn against his brothers once again just so you don't have to fight as well. Just so you have some peace with your new family.

Castiel is selfish as well. He doesn't understand why he just knows that he didn't want Dean involved. If there was any way to fight this war with out Dean knowing Castiel would of. He doesn't want Dean losing anyone else.

Damnit , Castiel just wants his Dean to be happy.

It is saying something that when Dean steps through the threshold to get close, Castiel doesn't move. He doesn't go to attack, he doesn't back away, he just stands there. Waiting for Dean. Always waiting for Dean. The angel closed his eyes, taking a deep breath when the hunter spoke. And after a beat he opens them and looks up at Dean.]

... I was never made with a heart, Dean. You are dreaming for something that isn't there. I am saving your kind. Understand that.

[I'm saving you, damn it.]

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Same here- grandmother had health issues and I've been distracted forever. I'm so sorry! fromtherack October 6 2012, 23:36:59 UTC
[Dean doesn't have a new family. Dean doesn't have Lisa and Ben- not in the way that most people would in his situation. Not anymore, anyway, not after what he did to Ben. And it didn't matter- it had always been a hollow thing with them, lacking the deep pull and bond that he'd had with Cas and with Sam. He'd felt indebted to them, he'd felt responsible for them, and he'd cared about them viciously, but it just... He was never mean to have that life. And he's alright with that, as long as he's got Cas and Sam and Bobby. He's okay with that.

But now, this shit with Cas, and Sam's been fucked up for so long...

Dean is losing someone else. He's losing Cas. And that's just... un fucking acceptable. No.

His steps were slow and careful as he moved forward, stopping less than a foot from Cas, mouth drawn down in a pleading grimace. He just... he wasn't getting it. He wasn't listening.]

That's not true. We both know it. If you weren't made with a heart, you never would have prayed to spare that town. Just because your angelic dick brothers tried to squash it all outta you doesn't mean it wasn't there. You're not a goddamn robot, Cas, you're... Fuck, you're so much more than that.

[A beat, and he curls his hand around Cas's upper arm.]

If we're gonna save 'em, we do it together. You didn't want me back in- well too bad. I'm in, whether you like it or not, so you might as well get over it and let me help.

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I hope your grandmother is alright. Sorry for my later response as well, im traveling. holy_hand_print October 16 2012, 17:30:54 UTC
[Castiel wanted so bad to retreat, to step away and disappear in his well know flutter of wings. Yet he was held in, trapped in the panic room because Dean cared and was trying to stop him. Damn it, Dean cared and it made this all the more difficult. The angel shifted in his spot, looking uncomfortable and watching Dean carefully like a horse with a history of abuse. ]

My prayers were useless in the end. God doesn't listen.

[The angel nearly sucked in a breath when he felt Deans hand curl around his arm. The spot... so close to the one where he marked Dean. His mark on the chosen man, his grace burned in to the soul. And then there was pain in his eyes, he looked wounded, his voice broken.]

Dean No. No. You can not do this, it is so beyond you- You can not help me.

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She's much better. I hope your trip is fun. fromtherack October 16 2012, 23:57:21 UTC
[Yeah, well, this wouldn't be the first time Dean caring about someone made them pissed off, made them want to leave. Join the long line of people that had fucked off to get away from Dean's 'care', Cas. Try not to die in the process, because that seemed to happen to all of them, too.]

Doesn't matter. It's the point, man.

[Yeah. Cas looked wounded. He looked open. He looked real for the first goddamn time since he showed up all those months ago and told Dean he couldn't afford to feel things. Fuck that. That's not his Cas. This is.]

Beyond me? I stopped a friggin' apocalypse. I think I can handle it, and as always, thanks for your moral support, Mister Chrysler Building. Lemme know if my insignificance factors in again in the future. I can help you, Cas, if you'd stop being so god damn arrogant.

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Im happy to hear it! Yes, its been lovely so far. holy_hand_print October 17 2012, 22:42:30 UTC
[It wouldn't matter, Castiel would be brought back to life as his punishment. He can never die it seems, every sin he makes brings him forward for further wrath. And Dean. Poor loving Dean. You have no idea how much Castiel really cares for you, wishes that you never discovered his treachery.]

It's my brother, the archangel Gabriel. He is a force to fear, his followers even more so. You can not ask me to put you in the line of fire again. I won't. You mean so much-

[The angel paused, wincing at the realization of what he was about to say. Castiel was arrogant, it was his downfall.]

....to the world. I can't risk your life so carelessly. Raphael would show no mercy.

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Awesome! fromtherack October 20 2012, 08:15:54 UTC
It's not your choice. I'm not your choice.

[He throws his hands out wide, indignation bleeding off of him. This whole fucking thing has been jerking them around in circles, and it's like Cas is plugging his ears and going 'lalala I can't see the great big obvious fucking problem with this stupid, idiotic, selfish fucking plan!'

He jerks away from the angel and passes a hand over his face. Paces a few feet away toward the door and then stops again, back still turned.

They're fighting over him, over his involvement, and obviously he's not making any ground there. So maybe he'll switch tactics to the less selfish, more global issue.]

You don't get permission to unleash that kind of force into this planet. I don't care how big of a fucking angel you are, you're not allowed to put the entire fucking human race at risk, without knowing the consequences, just by virtue of being on the right goddamn side of a war. Just because no one can stop you doesn't mean no one should stop you. If you're prideful enough to think that you- hell- anyone- can hold in billions of souls without any negative repercussions, you need to seriously back up and reexamine your flaws, because I guarantee you they're going to be the first to be exploited by that kind of power.

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<3 I put Gabriel when I meant Raphael. Stupid angels. holy_hand_print October 20 2012, 08:47:42 UTC
And I am not yours.

[Castiel grew quiet, staying in place as Dean stomped off across the room and turned his back to him. There were problems with the plan, yes, but what choice did he have? Raphael needed to be stopped. He needed to and there were no other solutions. No other way to get him to stop. Castiel was trying to win this war but his older brother had dragged him across the floor, made a fool out of him. He just wasn't strong enough on his own.

Castiel was between a rock and a hard place and he saw no way out with out being crushed to death.

The angel grew even more quiet as Dean ranted on about the damages and what would happened to Castiel when he did unleash purgatory. He lowered his head, shoulders slumping as his voice grew soft.]

Do you not think I've taken that in to consideration?

[The angels hands hung lifelessly by his sides, his eyes searching the ground.]

I am an angel of the lord. Chosen by him and resurrected time and time again. I can contain the power, and if I can not then I will make sure it is only I that it destroys. There is no other way, Raphael must be stopped.

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<3 It's cool, dawg! fromtherack November 22 2012, 07:48:24 UTC
That's where you're wrong, god damn it!

[He can't help but shout it, jerk forward and point at Cas seriously.]

You are mine, you're--

[He cuts himself off and falters. Steps back, and rubs a hand over his mouth, weary of what he was about to say. To be honest, he's not sure. It came out before he realized his mouth was moving. His eyes hit the wall and he glares at the symbols spray-painted onto them.

God damn it.

Cas has taken it into consideration, and he's still planning to go through with it. That's all the answer Dean needs. He can't stay down here, can't keep trying to force Cas to see reason or change his answer. It's not going to happen. No matter what Dean says or does, no matter how hard he begs, no matter what.

That's what he was afraid of. He turns on his heel and stalks toward the door, shoulders tense and drawn and angry. He stops just before the threshold and turns, leveling the angel with a serious look.]

No, Cas. You must be stopped.

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<3 holy_hand_print November 22 2012, 10:33:39 UTC
[The angels breath hitched a moment when Dean burst out, shouted at him that Castiel was wrong. A flash of hurt rang through the angels eyes. Luckily, always on the defensive the hunter cut himself short of what he really truly wanted to say. The angel grew grim. He watched Dean, watched him as he always did. A slight tilt in his head, his gaze ever so slightly narrowed.

No, focus Castiel. You can not allow your affection for Dean Winchester to cloud your judgment. This was for his benefit. So he could have a better life. Be safe. Why couldn't Dean see that this sacrifice was well worth it?

A frown crossed his lips, he was tense shifting the weight in his feet as Dean left the room. Left Castiel in his cage. When Dean declared that the angel must be stopped Castiel pushed the feeling of agony down to the pit of his stomach. He ignored the voice in his mind screaming to him 'No'. Castiel simply set his gaze, looking just as cold as Dean.]

You are welcomed to try.

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