Comments | melima_wen_ses: (без темы)

melima_wen_ses

(Untitled)

Jan 31, 2004 04:44

Ok. I can't quit school, as much as I want to. Reality is that mom needs the $160 I give her a fortnight, and the government only gives that if you're a full time student. So what then? If 'This is best', is sitting alone every single moment of every single day the best thing? Is feeling lonely and depressed, without any sort of friendship or human ( Read more... )

Comments 7

twisted_yaoi January 30 2004, 10:07:08 UTC

You'll never be 'The loner fat girl' To me.
You'll always be something more to me. I mean, we were going to get married at one point.
--Tinge

sgpmusic January 30 2004, 17:40:28 UTC

hi <3 I'm sorry you're going through hard times but hold on bebe <3 I'm here 4 U!!!

You miss understood me again. lifesconfuzzled January 30 2004, 23:41:18 UTC

I was never blaming you for the lack of bonding. That would be stupid it's not your fault, but then neither is it ours. It does have to do with personality entirely.We don't invite everyone around except you and then bond with them. There are certain people that we just click with, and that happens in the six or less hours that we have at school. I'm sorry but it is all to do with personality. In some ways you have had much more chance than anyone else, in that you have been there all the time. It just hasn't worked. That's the way it is, sorry but it's the truth. Maybe not for everyone, but for us it is.

Re: You miss understood me again. melima_wen_ses January 31 2004, 07:32:25 UTC

So, everyone else in Year 12. They've all got better personalities for you and the others? I mean really, do you really think that it's completly to do with that, and not to do with that everyone else isn't afraid of being hurt again, and they didn't need encoragement and reassurance to come out of a shell? I'm sure if any of the others, any of them, felt as scared as I do now days of hurt and pain, and couldn't walk down the street without fearing the glances of strangers, you would have thought the same thing about them. I think it's more than that, it's got a lot to do with just how much everyone trusts everyone. And everytime I hear about all ... 10? 11? of the year 12s beside myself had a party, Yes. It'll hurt, and I'll become even more withdrawn and unhappy. Not with you guys in particular, with myself for not being good enough for my friends. Hell, you didn't even remember my 18th birthday. I had to remind Shani that I turned 18... god, I thought it was such a big deal, such an important thing... Hense why I get so depressed ( ... )

melima_wen_ses December 30 2012, 05:17:41 UTC

Wow. This is kind of ... along time ago. Eight years. Just before my last saturn return and on the cusp of this one ( ... )

12th year blues whisperwolf January 31 2004, 19:53:35 UTC

My 12th year, though different from yours was spent mostly alone brooding on how to harm others as they always seemed to harm me. By this time at school I was to the point of screaming "LOOK AT ME! I AM RIGHT HERE!!" When it came to those who insulted me in front of my face but looked right though me like they couldn't see me. I am not saying you have the same thing Ses, but I can say that I was alone most of my 12th grade year to find out who I really was inside. You need to find who you really are babe. No one said it is easy, but from the strength I have seen within you, I know you will do better then most.

Whisper

melima_wen_ses December 30 2012, 05:18:16 UTC

Thankyou lovely friend :) One of my first spiritual friends who saw right through to the real me.