If you are invited to a party, are you prone to showing up with a bottle of wine and cordially greeting your host, or do you barge on in, spit in the host's face, microwave his cat, and flip over his coffee table? Chances are, you don't do the latter. There are certain rules that you must follow in this world. Just like the real world, the internet ( Read more... )

Man, I sure wish I got up earlier so I could've went to Chinatown in a timely fashion to see the fireworks. I hope everyone has a wonderful year of the dog, the tastiest forbidden domesticated animal ( Read more... )

Well, internet journal, can't say that I've been up to too much, which is why you're pretty empty. Had a day pretty racial tension-devoid Martin Luther King Day. Went to go see Ray and set things on fire yesterday, and the day before that I violated Len in Chinatown. That's about it, internet journal ( Read more... )

Hark, internet denizens, and let me tell you of that finest sport known to humanity: coeducational snow rugby. Oh sweet, sweet Lord, did I have so much fun. See, I thought playing rugby in the snow would be the best part, but, oh no, the best part comes from, yes, you guessed it: tackling girls. Now, you might be thinking, "Dan, you're a pretty big ( Read more... )

When I went to bed, there wasn't a discernible layer of snow on the ground. Contrary to the state of the world when I closed my eyes, when I opened them, I couldn't help but notice a discernible layer of snow on the ground. This is uncalled for, this earth will be salted ( Read more... )

The last few days have been kind of melancholy. I still kind of don't believe it ( Read more... )

Chris Muzykant, I will miss you ( Read more... )

So, I've decided that as time progresses, some things become cool, things cease to become cool, but for whatever reason, they become cool again. It is with this pretense that I bring you a brief Old & Busted / New Hotness list.

Old & Busted: Making fun of emos. It's just not funny anymore. Yeah, I get it, you mock their stupid haircuts, their ( Read more... )

I decided to dedicate this entry to something that I dislike strongly. And what is that thing, you ask? Blogs. I hate the over-popularity and credibility that blogs have received. So, here's a rant without a cut ( Read more... )

Today I turn nineteen years old.