SPN RPS: Faint Stars and Bright Satellite Skies (4/7) // NC-17 // Jared/Jensen
Faint Stars and Bright Satellite Skies
Jared/Jensen, NC-17
See the index for a full header.
Part 3
"Where'd Jared get off to?" Jensen asked, playing innocent to Jared's mother. She was a nice lady- hell, Jared's whole damn family was nice. They reminded him of his own family and he felt welcome because of it.
"Oh, he just ran inside to wash up for dinner, Jensen," Jared's mom told him as she finished filling water glasses, and Jensen could see Jared in her grin.
"Actually, I should excuse myself as well," Jensen replied, standing up. "I'll get Jared to show me where it is, then?"
"Of course!" Before he could get away Jared's mom reached out and cupped his cheek. "You're adorable, Jensen. I'm glad JT's made a friend in you."
"Me too, Mrs. Padalecki," Jensen grinned back, wondering what she'd think if she knew he wanted to make more than a friend out of her son. He pushed those thoughts down, however, and walked inside the house, disappearing in the direction he'd watched Jared go.
When he got inside the house he looked around the rooms quickly, checking the downstairs bathroom, before heading toward the stairs where Jared must have gone. He noticed the family pictures lined up on the wall as he took the stairs two by two, chronicling the family from when Jared looked to be about six or seven until his senior year of high school, all six-foot plus of gawky, gangly, awkward and still-growing newly minted graduate. He paused on that one, feeling slightly voyeuristic because he felt like he was seeing a side of Jared that he clearly was not meant to, at least from the way Jared had reacted earlier today. He steeled himself and continued to the top of the stairs, pausing to get his bearings.
Jared wasn't in the upstairs bathroom, either. He could see into the master bedroom at the end of the hall from where he was standing and Jared wasn't in there, either. There were three other doors- one slightly ajar. He approached slowly and pushed the door open further, stepping inside. Jared was standing by the bed, leafing through an old notebook that must have been his.
"Took you long enough," Jared murmured without turning around. Jensen's mouth dropped open slightly and he looked around behind himself to make sure Jared was talking to him.
"I didn't know you wanted me here?" Jensen questioned slowly, confused and unsure.
"It's not that I didn't want you here, Jensen," Jared explained, dropping the notebook on the bed as he turned around. "I've been confused these past few weeks, okay? Between you showing up and then me breaking up with Sandy and getting this new job- it's all a shitfest. Pair that up with you turning whatever was left that I thought was normal upside down and I didn't handle the idea of you and my family colliding very well."
Jensen swallowed hard at Jared's words, finding it suddenly hard to breathe. He'd never meant to disrupt Jared's life in any way. He knew he should have kept his mouth shut, should have kept his hands to himself and realized that Jared was fine without him trying to change things. "Sorry, man."
Jared blinked. "For what?" Jensen furrowed his brow.
"For everything you just said. I've kind of fucked things up for you here."
"Are you always this thick?" Jared asked, shaking his head with a small smile. Jensen cocked his head, totally lost.
"Why do you automatically think the worst when I mention how weird my life's gotten? No one ever confronts me on this stuff, Jensen. I've never given it much thought myself and everyone else just figured this is where I was meant to be. Then you came in and made me see everything I could be doing. How is that a bad thing?"
"But Sandy-"
"Neither of us were very upset with the break up, Jensen. Doesn't that say something? Sandy's one of my best friends, sure, but I think that's all she's been for a long time. You just kicked my ass and got me doing things I wouldn't have otherwise and I should be thanking you for that," Jared told him with a shrug, stepping closer.
"But Sunday night," Jensen started in a low voice. "That kiss-"
"That wasn't a kiss." Jared shook his head.
"It wasn't?" Jensen asked, confused.
"Nope," Jared said with a grin as he stepped up to Jensen, pushing him lightly against the wall by the door. "This is."
Jared ducked his head and pressed his lips softly to Jensen's for a moment before opening his mouth and reaching up with one massive hand to cup the back of Jensen's head. Jensen let his hands flail for a moment before settling them on Jared's well-toned upper arms, clutching at the fabric of his thin t-shirt. He opened his mouth as well when he felt Jared's tongue cautiously press past his lips. He tried to edge closer, wanting to feel Jared against him but his legs refused to move as Jared kissed him slow and easy. Jensen started to move one of his hands around Jared's shoulders to mirror his position but he vaguely registered a door slam and the sound of footsteps downstairs.
"Jared!" Megan bellowed from the bottom of the stairs. Jared and Jensen sprang apart quickly, breathing heavily, and Jensen could feel his hands shaking as he clenched them into fists to get them to stop.
"Yeah?" Jared yelled back out the door.
"Mom says dinner will be ready in five minutes and to get your asses down here!" she yelled back. Jensen thought he could faintly hear Jared's mom scolding Megan from the backyard that she didn't say 'asses'.
"Yeah, okay! Give us a couple minutes, I'm showing Jensen the house!" Jared turned back to Jensen and shrugged, his lips swollen and red.
Jensen fought back the urge to laugh hysterically and smiled at Jared as he slid back in front of Jensen, hesitant and nervous now. Jensen reached up and brushed his fingertips across Jared's mouth lightly. Jared tried to lean in for another kiss but Jensen stopped him with a hand to his chest as he shook his head.
"Better not," Jensen said softly. Jared nodded and looked down, avoiding Jensen's eyes until the other man jerked his shirt at the front a little to grab his attention. "Hey, it's not that I don't want to."
"I know." Jared nodded. "Later."
"Later," Jensen echoed emphatically.
They straightened their clothes and brushed their hair down, trying to let the flush in their cheeks go away before they went back downstairs. Every time Jensen glanced over at Jared throughout the evening Jared's ears would turn pink and Jensen would feel his own face heating up in response. Their arms and hands brushed repeatedly during the meal as they passed platters back and forth over the picnic table and Jensen had to take a deep breath every time so he wouldn't be tempted to inch closer to Jared on their side of the table or lay a hand on Jared's strong, muscled thigh. And all the while they smiled brightly at Jared's parents and his sister who were none the wiser.
If only the Academy could see him now, Jensen thought to himself ruefully as Jared's hand ran over the back of his on the way to grab a roll, and they both cranked their smiles brighter.
~~~~
Megan rode back to the city with them, claiming to be meeting up with a friend of hers, but Jared was pretty sure she purposely called someone- anyone- so she could spend more time with Jensen. Not that he minded. He really wasn't sure what to say to Jensen now or how to act, so she was a good buffer between them, chattering and talking to Jensen the whole way in.
Jensen kissed her on the cheek chastely once Jared pulled up to a house a few blocks from his apartment. Megan blushed down to the tips of her toes before she hopped out of the truck and ran up the front walk of her friend's house. Jared waited until she was inside the house before pulling away from the curb, a sudden, thick silence falling between himself and Jensen. He drummed the fingers of one hand on the steering wheel as he drove, the other laying on the seat between them. He was watching the houses and stores pass him by when he felt something brush his hand and then a warm weight cover it. He looked over and Jensen was staring back at him hesitantly. Jared turned his hand over under Jensen's and laced their fingers together. Jensen flushed a little and stared out the window the rest of the way to Jared's apartment.
Jared pulled into the parking lot and parked beside Jensen's rental car. He cut the engine and listened to it ping as it cooled down. Jared watched Jensen out of the corner of his eye, wondering what he should do or say or if he should at all. Jensen appeared to be struggling with the same things because he remained silent and still as well. Finally Jared looked over at Jensen and squeezed his hand.
"Want to come up?" he asked huskily, his tone surprising both of them. Jensen shifted in his seat and cleared his throat but didn't pull his hand back.
"I probably shouldn't. Have to be up early to be on set and you have to be there even earlier than me," Jensen replied, just as quiet. Jared nodded and tried to push down the sprout of fear that was currently seeding in his stomach, curling up with doubts and paranoid delusions. He worried that in the hours between their kiss in his childhood bedroom and now Jensen had changed his mind about them.
"What are you doing tomorrow night?" Jensen asked. "We could-"
"I work at the bar. From ten till two. So I can't-"
"No, yeah. I get it. It's cool. Maybe Thursday or the weekend or something." Jensen nodded, and looked away out the window. The awkwardness was starting to make Jared's hand sweat against Jensen's and his mind was working over time, screaming at him to say or do something- to fucking move, so he started to pull his hand away. His fingers twitched under Jensen's and he opened his mouth to say something that would probably end up being pretty lame and then there was Jensen.
Before Jared could even take a breath Jensen was sliding across the seat and tugging him forward and dragging his head down to kiss him senseless, lips pressed hard and toungues tangling. Jared groaned and cupped Jensen's face with both of his hands, sweaty palm and all, while Jensen curled his fingers into Jared's button-up shirt to pull him closer. Jared tried to turn around into the kiss, but the seatbelt held him back and he let out a low growl as he fought to unbuckle it while keeping his hands on Jensen- petting, touching, feeling his way across his face and neck and down his back to rest on a hip or thigh or upper arm. Jensen tried to help but their fingers got tangled and he smiled against Jared's lips while Jared made frustrated noises as he continued to lick and suck at Jensen's mouth. Jensen whispered Jared's name once before pulling back and ducking his head with a laugh. The seatbelt was pressed against Jared's neck and his lips were swollen and red, giving him the tied up and debauched look.
"Jesus," Jensen muttered before leaning back in to kiss Jared quickly while unbuckling the belt for him. Jared tried to reach for him again but Jensen pulled back with an apologetic smile. "I should go."
Jared nodded and sat back against the seat, blowing out a long breath. "Yeah."
"You're working tomorrow, right?" Jensen asked, as if needing to be assured. Jared bit at his swollen lip and nodded as Jensen edged back to his side of the seat, his eyes on Jared's mouth. "So I'll see you then?"
"Yeah," Jared replied, voice hoarse. Jensen fumbled with the door handle and nearly fell out of the cab when he finally got it open. Jared hopped out of his side and followed Jensen to his car. "So...?"
"Yeah?" Jensen asked, fishing the keys out of his pocket and concentrated on getting the door unlocked.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Jared repeated. Jensen turned back to him, moving close enough to grab a fistful of Jared's t-shirt and pull him down for a quick but hard kiss.
"Yeah. Tomorrow." Jared grinned and backed up so he could get in his car and drive away. Jensen honked the horn as he pulled away and Jared gave him a short wave before jogging to his apartment, grinning the whole way.
~~~~
Jared had to laugh when he woke up the next morning feeling jittery and nervous. He couldn't remember feeling like that in... ever, possibly. It had been so simple with Sandy. He actually didn't remember ever being nervous around her or even needing to be- it all just happened. But Jensen, well. Jensen was obviously different than anything he'd ever known and it made Jared want to be different, try new things, be better. He grinned the whole way to work and when Darren asked him why he was more cheerful than usual that morning Jared just winked and handed him his usual latte. It wasn't until later in the morning that he finally saw Jensen, while he was taking a quick break at the craft services table.
"Hey," Jensen said, sidling up to Jared who was raiding craft services of their jelly rolls and cheese croissants. Jared grinned back at Jensen and jerked his head toward one of the picnic tables at the end of the row where everyone ate. Jensen followed with his own plate of food and they sat on the same side of one table, trying to keep a few inches between them so it wouldn't look too odd.
"How's it going?" Jensen asked quietly, popping a couple of grapes in his mouth.
Jared nodded. "Not bad."
"Not freaking out, or anything?" Jensen asked casually.
"What makes you think I'd be freaking out?" Jared countered and Jensen shrugged.
"Just making sure, I guess?"
"Should I be? Do you want me to be freaking out?"
"Of course not. I'm just- I really don't want to fuck this up, you know?"
Jared ducked his head and then glanced up at Jensen from under his mop of shaggy hair and grinned shyly. "I get that." Jared watched Jensen's eyes light up and he smiled back before glancing around and bit his lip, straightening. Jared knew that he understood, though.
"Come to my trailer on your next break, okay? I've got to run through some lines between spots for a couple entertainment shows so I'll probably be hanging out there all day," Jensen explained as they finished their snacks and stood to throw out their garbage. "We could play some Playstation or something, I'll need something to distract me from the boredom."
Jared nodded and waved as he started walking in the other direction, back to where Darren was shouting directions to the rest of the crew. "Will do. Catch you later." Jared tried to keep the grin on his face from being too obvious and resisted the urge to give a little wiggle because he could feel Jensen watching him as he walked off. Part of him was downright embarrassed at how lovesick and school yard crush-esque he felt but the other part, the part that was clearly ruling, didn't care and basked in the newfound giddiness he was feeling.
~~~~
"Hey," Jared said as he entered Jensen's trailer after a brief knock. Jensen was sitting at the small table with his script while tapping his fingers on the tabletop. "You okay?"
"Bored out of my fucking mind," Jensen sighed as he shoved the script away. "Did you lock the door?"
Jared shot him a weird look and turned back to make sure the door was closed tight and locked it. "You got some-"
Jared was cut off as he turned back around and Jensen was standing in front of him, reaching up to hold his head as he pressed his lips to Jared's, shoving his tongue in his mouth eagerly. Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen's waist and kissed him back, humming into his mouth. He could feel Jensen smile against his mouth and held him tighter, pulling him closer.
When they separated Jensen's lips were swollen and his eyes were heavy lidded and Jared expected he looked just as mussed. He ran his thumb along Jensen's bottom lip and grinned when Jensen stuck the tip of his tongue out to graze the pad. Jensen grabbed his hand and pulled him to his small couch and tugged him down as he sat. Jared followed him and sat rather stiffly, unsure of what to do next. Jensen wrapped his hand around the back of Jared's neck and gently pulled him in for another kiss, letting his other hand fall to Jared's waist. Jared could feel the rough callouses on Jensen's fingers as he trailed his hand up and down Jared's neck, angling his head gently as they kissed easily.
By the time the cell phone in Jared's pocket rang, vibrating between his leg and Jensen's, twenty minutes had passed and Jensen was sprawled under Jared's large body, cradling him between his legs. Jensen gasped into Jared's mouth when his phone went off and he pulled away with a broken laugh as Jared swore and struggled for his phone. He answered it curtly and told Darren he'd be back on set in five, as Jensen gave him a hot look.
"Cut that out, man," Jared mumbled, leaning down to kiss Jensen again quickly. He crawled off Jensen then, standing up to straighten out his clothing as best he could. Jensen sat up and watched him, resisting the urge to pull Jared back down to him. Jared got himself back in order and leaned down to kiss Jensen quickly but a knock at the door surprised them both and they sprang apart.
"Jensen, your next interview is in ten minutes. Are you ready?" Lynne called through the door, tugging on the handle to get it open. Jensen sighed and muttered under his breath to himself as he got up to unlock the door for her. She climbed the steps and smiled at Jared warmly when she noticed he was there.
"Which one is it?" Jensen asked.
"Entertainment Tonight. E! is coming later on," Lynne told him, consulting a notepad she pulled out of her jacket pocket. "Oh, and Jared? Tina was looking for you. Short PA with the high pony-tail?" Lynne gestured to her head to explain when Jared gave her a blank stare.
"Oh," Jared replied dully. He frowned and turned to Jensen. "See you later?"
"You okay?" he asked quietly at Jared's abrupt change in moods.
"Yeah, it's cool," Jared sighed. "She's just... nosy. I'll catch you after we wrap for the day, hey?"
Jared could feel Jensen's eyes on him as he left the trailer, ducking considerably to get through the door. When he got to the production tent Tina was eying him curiously, and Jared held in an exasperated 'what' in favour of a nod and a request for the day's assignments.
"Did you just come from Jensen's trailer?" Tina asked, ignoring his question.
"Yes," Jared replied as naturally as possible.
"How is he?" she asked casually, trying not to look interested.
"Fine," Jared answered shortly.
"So you two are getting to be pretty good friends, huh?" Tina started, moving closer to Jared who watched her carefully. "That's cool. Nice to see you guys are hitting it off.
"Uh huh," Jared said slowly.
"It's just, you know, everyone says he's kind of a loner and doesn't have many friends or anything. It's nice to hear that you guys hang out."
"I can imagine," Jared replied lightly. She raised her eyebrows at Jared but he just looked back at her calmly, refusing to give any more information than she asked for, or was necessary. Tina rolled her eyes and slapped some papers in his hand.
"Darren needs this stuff by the end of the day and he's going to be back on set in an hour."
"Thanks," Jared murmured and turned to leave.
"You know people are talking about you, too?" Tina said behind him. "Wondering what's so great about you?"
"I'd be disappointed if they didn't," Jared threw back and left as quickly as possible without looking like he was running away.
~~~~
The first time Jensen took a chance and eased his hand into Jared's pants he wasn't sure if he was crossing a line. He didn't ask first and Jared didn't say anything about where his boundaries were so Jensen decided to take things into his own hands- quite literally. They were on the sofa in his sitting area in his hotel suite- the first time Jared had visited him at his hotel- and one thing led to another.
"Jen..." Jared moaned and tried to stop himself from thrusting up into Jensen's hand. Jensen buried his face in Jared's neck and unzipped his jeans more to get a better angle.
He murmured against Jared's throat, "It's okay. Don't hold back." Jared groaned and his hips moved jerkily with Jensen's hand, already too hard, too hot, too much in general to stop moving. The movie that Jared picked for them to watch was long forgotten and played quietly in the background as Jensen's hand curled around him, stroking him with rough, sure pulls. Jensen's mouth moved against his neck, licking and sucking gently, trying not to leave marks and succeeding for the most part. Jensen moved closer, almost straddling Jared's thigh and rubbed against him, trying to get his own friction. It was all too much for Jared and he shuddered suddenly, coming all over Jensen's hand and shaking around him. Jensen moaned with him and kept stroking him lightly until Jared grunted at the touch on his sensitive cock.
"Fuck," Jensen whispered, sitting back some. He shakily undid his own pants, pulled out his own cock and wrapped the hand that Jared came on around it, closing his eyes to avoid Jared's heavy-lidded stare.
"Jen," Jared whispered, trying to edge forward. "Let me."
"No," Jensen breathed, curling his leg around Jared's thigh tighter and moving against him as his hand moved quickly. "I'm almost..." Within a minute he came as well, panting loudly and staring at Jared, slack-jawed.
"Down and dirty, but it was either that or come in my pants," Jensen explained when he caught his breath.
"I should feel flattered?" Jared asked, laughing a little. Jensen smiled and nodded, leaning forward to kiss him lightly.
"So much for the movie," he mumbled.
"It wasn't that good anyway," Jared told him, kissing Jensen's throat.
"You're right. I passed on it," Jensen replied, arching into Jared.
"Smart man." Jared just laughed as Jensen poked him in the stomach.
~~~~
Jared's life took an unexpected and very weird turn once he and Jensen settled into a variation on their usual routine. They still met for meals on set and Jensen saw Jared at the bar and they went to play cards and went to a couple movies, went to parties hosted by Jared's friends, but for every moment they spent together under the guise of being close friends, there was another stolen moment, too. Kissing under a stairwell or in Jensen's trailer, the brush of their hands when reaching for the same thing, a quick and bone-melting hand-job in Jared's truck before dropping Jensen off at night- all frequent occasions that worked their way into Jared's life. He had to admit that it was rather exciting and sexy to be sneaking around all the time, but he wondered to himself if it would only ever be sneaking around. Every time Jensen looked around to see who was watching or stopped kissing him suddenly because he thought someone would walk in the room or when he shushed Jared because he was moaning too loudly- it dampened his unspoken hopes that maybe Jensen would just come out already.
Then Jensen would kiss him and whisper against his lips and Jared would forget everything else for the time being- which was all he could really want at that point.
"Hey, I brought dinner," Jensen called out as he walked into Jared's apartment without knocking one night after they finished work for the day. In the living room Jared was putting a disc in the dvd player, ready for a quiet night to relax after a long day on set.
"You mean you ordered room service and got them to box it up?" Jared asked with a knowing smile as Jensen walked in and rolled his eyes.
"It's the thought that counts?" Jensen tried again, setting the bag down on the coffee table. Jared just shook his head and tried to walk past Jensen to the kitchen so he could grab some plates and utensils. Jensen grabbed his hand and pulled him to a stop before he could disappear into the other room, tugging him to him and tilting his head up for a quick kiss. Jared wrapped their joined hands behind Jensen's back and gave in willingly, smiling against his lips briefly before pulling back. He bit down on Jensen's lower lip lightly and then let him go to get to the kitchen. Jensen grinned at his back goofily, then shook it off and started pulling the take out containers out of the bag.
Jared sat down on the floor, pulling the coffee table to him for easier access as he ate and Jensen sat on the couch behind him, balancing his plate on one knee and eating with one hand while the other ran through Jared's hair. Jared didn't eat more than a few mouthfuls before he was leaning his head back on Jensen's leg and watching the movie with half-closed eyes. Jensen put his plate aside as well and Jared moved to the couch, sitting as close to Jensen as he dared without curling around the other man and tried to watch the movie as closely as possible, a feat easier said than done with Jensen leaning over to kiss his neck softly.
"And just what," Jared started, turning his head enough to look Jensen in the eyes. "Do you think you're doing?"
"You're supposed to neck at the movies, aren't you?" Jensen asked with a smirk.
"I don't know if it's quite the same thing. My floors aren't nearly as sticky, for one," Jared replied with a laugh. Jensen leaned in and kissed him slowly, working his tongue between Jared's lips lazily. Jared opened up to him and cupped Jensen's jaw with his hand, tilting his head at just the right angle to coax noises of approval from Jensen. Jared leaned back against the couch as Jensen's hand went questing over his body, finding the edge of his t-shirt and working it under so he could run a hand over Jared's flat, stomach and muscled chest. Jared didn't disapprove when Jensen pulled back and kissed his throat, sucking and licking down to where the collar of his shirt hid skin. Jensen grabbed the edge of the t-shirt again and yanked it up, leaning down to kiss Jared's chest.
Jared's mouth dropped open and he pressed back into the couch cushions as he watched Jensen move down his body with his mouth. Jensen could feel his cock start to press against the zipper of his jeans and moved his hips a little in hopes of relieving some of the pressure. Jensen laid a hand on his leg, perilously close to Jared's growing hard on. He tried to edge his hips out of the way, to grab Jensen's hand and hold it instead but Jensen slid off the couch and onto his knees beside Jared.
"What are you doing?" Jared asked, his voice thicker than usual. Jensen ran his hands up and down Jared's exposed midsection until his hands rested on Jared's beltbuckle.
"You're right. Your floors aren't sticky. It makes this that much eaiser." Jensen winked at him and Jared frowned, confused until Jensen started to unbuckle his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. Jared's mouth fell open slightly and he wasn't sure what to say or do. Luckily Jensen took the lead and coaxed Jared's hips up enough to slide the jeans down his thighs just enough for Jared to spread his legs wider. His mouth was dry now and his breaths were raspier than usual. Jensen grinned up at him as he pulled Jared's cock from his underwear and palmed it, rubbing his thumb over the head.
"Oh, god," Jared whispered as he watched Jensen lower his head and suck Jared's cock into his mouth. That was the last thing he could remember saying or even thinking after that.
Jared watched as Jensen moved his head up and down, lips sliding easily over his cock. He could feel his body heating up with every lick and suck Jensen made, fingers digging into Jared's thighs that were still covered by his jeans. Jensen had only given him a wolfish grin and an arched eyebrow as warning before he dropped to his knees and pulled Jared's jeans open. Jared had stared down at him dumbly, lifting up at Jensen's command so he could slide the jeans down enough to pull his cock out, then his mouth was on Jared's cock and neither of them thought of much else.
Jared dropped one hand to Jensen's head and guided him up and down, fast then slow and fast again, and groaned softly. Jensen followed his commands and swirled his tongue over the head of Jared's cock every time he pulled up, enjoying Jared's response as his fingers tried to wind around his short hair. Jared threw his head back and gasped every time Jensen's tongue licked over the head of his cock. Jensen kept humming and moaning around him, driving Jared closer to the edge. He wasn't sure how long he held on for but it felt like forever and no time at all at once. Too soon, it seemed he was coming, jerking and pulsing in Jensen's mouth but there was a feeling of finally racing through his body; a relief at the sudden and welcome release.
"Jesus," Jared panted as soon as he could catch his breath and say something semi-coherent. Jensen grinned up at him from his spot on the floor and carefully tucked him back into his pants. Jared noticed Jensen shifting uncomfortably from his spot and urged him up off the floor. He tried to lay Jensen down on the couch beside him but Jensen resisted at first.
"It's okay, Jared. I don't want you to feel like you have to reciprocate, man," Jensen explained. Jared just gave him a look and tugged him down to the couch and kissed him hard before pushing him back against the cushions.
"Guide me," he whispered as he unzipped Jensen's pants. It's not like he didn't know the basic steps to giving a blowjob. He'd obviously had a few in his day and curiosity demanded that he find video on the subject when he was tentatively exploring the idea of being attracted to men.
Jensen took a deep breath as Jared pushed Jensen's boxer briefs down and pulled him out. He laid his hand on Jared's and wrapped his fingers the way he liked. "Like this, tighter here. Don't be afraid to go harder, I don't mind."
Jared started slowly, watching Jensen for his reactions when Jared tried different things with his fingers, dropping his other hand down to trace patterns on Jensen's jean-clad thighs and eventually trail under his cock to his balls. Jensen's whole body jerked when Jared scraped a fingernail along the crease between his balls and he grinned, listening to Jensen moan loudly. When Jensen's eyes fluttered shut Jared took a breath and lowered his head to Jensen's cock, licking a stripe up from base to tip. Jensen's eyes popped open quickly and then shut just as fast again when Jared repeated that, in between strokes.
"That's good," Jensen told him, voice strained. "That's really good."
Jared smiled to himself and moved his free hand to the edge of Jensen's t-shirt, pushing it up far enough to Jared could scrape his nails over Jensen's chest and nipples. Jensen let out a strangled moan and dropped his head to the back of the couch, trying to relax around Jared so he wouldn't thrust up at him. Jared could see his restraint and while he appreciated it, he didn't want to be coddled.
He started stroking faster and moving his hand in a way he'd seen in a couple porn videos, not sure if the move would work. Jensen's grunts and rhythmic moaning seemed to assure him that it did, indeed, work and he kept going with it as he flicked his tongue over the head of the cock between strokes. Jensen couldn't hide his reactions now and he moaned loudly as his feet moved restlessly around Jared. Jared took the head in his mouth a little at a time and bobbed up and down experimentally until he could feel Jensen's hand on his shoulder, pushing him back. Jared backed off a little but kept his lips on the head so Jensen came in his mouth. He didn't recoil at the sudden rush or the taste and managed to swallow most of it. When Jensen finally relaxed he looked down at Jared who was pulling back and grabbed him, sitting up to kiss him suddenly. He licked at Jared's chin where he spilled a little and Jared gasped at how fast his cock responded to the feeling, the very thought of Jensen doing that.
Jensen pulled him down on the couch with him, moving his body around enough for Jared to share the space awkwardly, wrapping his arms around Jensen's shoulders and covering Jensen's legs with one of his own. Jensen continued to kiss his face, moving down his neck where he bit lightly and soothed the mark with his tongue. Jared let out a contented sigh and relaxed against him easily, body suddenly boneless.
"You catch on quick," Jensen mumured, kissing Jared's chin.
"I have good reason to," Jared rumbled back so Jensen could feel the vibrations through their skin and clothes.
"We should do something this weekend. Maybe go see a movie or something," Jensen pondered as he ran his hand up and down Jared's back.
"We could do that," Jared replied easily. "I was thinking of having some people over on Saturday or something. Have another barbecue, maybe. Or we could go out for dinner- oh! There might be a game this weekend, we could get tickets."
Jensen laughed. "It all sounds good. We'll figure it out." Jared relaxed and listened to the steady sound of Jensen breathing under him.
~~~~
"I should go," Jensen mumbled against Jared's mouth as he tried to back up slowly toward the door later in the week. Every night ended up like this, one of them leaving slowly, trying to draw out one last kiss or leisurely stroke of a hand down the other's body. Jared walked him backwards, hands on Jensen's hips as he kissed the other man thoroughly.
"You don't have to," Jared replied, just as muffled. Jensen let out a frustrated groan and pulled Jared against him tighter.
"I should, though."
Jared pulled back enough to look into Jensen's eyes, their lips swollen. "Don't."
Jensen looked serious for a moment, then opened his mouth to speak with a slight smile. Jared could have screamed when the knock came at the door and then Sandy's voice called out, "Jared, are you there? Can I talk to you?"
"Fuck," he cursed quietly, burying his face in Jensen's neck.
"Guess that's my cue," Jensen said ruefully before he pulled away from Jared and straightened his clothes quickly. Jared ran a hand through his hair and wiped his mouth, knowing he still looked rumpled and aroused but he hoped Sandy wouldn't notice. Jensen nodded and Jared answered the door for Sandy who walked in without question. She stopped short when she saw Jensen and grinned.
"Hey, Jensen. What's up? What were you guys up to? Anything exciting happening on set?" She asked rapid fire so Jensen had to laugh and gave her a quick hug.
"Not much, hanging out and nothing out of the ordinary," he replied with a grin. "I wish I could stay and talk with you Sandy, but I have to get home and go to bed. Don't you keep this one up too late, now."
Jensen reinforced his words with a pointed finger in Jared's chest. Jared grabbed Jensen's hand and kept it away from him playfully, mock-growling at him until Jensen pulled his hand back with a laugh and stepped out the door. "Talk to you tomorrow?" he asked, looking up at Jared. Jared nodded and mouthed 'goodnight' before shutting the door softly and turning to Sandy.
"What's up?"
She stared back at him questioningly, and Jared could see the thoughts forming, the wheels moving as she thought. "What was that?"
"What was what?" Jared asked innocently.
"I saw that."
"Saw what?" Jared laughed and brushed past her to the kitchen where he grabbed a beer and drank half of it right away. She stood behind him in the doorway, hands on hips as she watched him calculatingly.
"What's going on, Jared?"
"Nothing, Sandy!" Jared exclaimed. "What did you need to talk to me about?"
"Nothing that can't wait." There was a hesitant pause before she continued. "I see the way you look at him," she said softly. "It's the way I always thought I looked at you."
Jared started to redden and stuttered a little, staring at his beer. "I don't- what are you- what do you mean?"
"Jared, is something going on between you and Jensen?"
Jared sputtered and tried to snort. "No! Of course not. We're just friends, we hang out."
"You're not looking me in the eye. You suck at lying, Jared. We both know it. So what's going on?" Sandy asked him, stepping in front of him so he couldn't look anywhere else. Jared bit his lip and tried to think of something to say that she'd believe but there was nothing.
"It's not like this was supposed to happen. I didn't even like him when he showed up in town!" Jared finally exploded. Sandy raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue. "Things just- happened."
"And what's been happening?" She pressed.
"This can't go any further, Sandy," Jared pleaded. Sandy reached up and slapped him lightly in the face.
"Hey! Who do you think you're talking to here? Just spill, Jared."
"Jensen's gay. I found out awhile ago and that he's still basically in the closet. We've been hanging out a lot and... I don't know."
"One thing led to another?" Jared nodded. "So, are you gay?"
"No. Well, I mean- no. I think I'm bisexual."
"Well. That's certainly something." Jared felt his palms get sweaty as Sandy considered this new information.
"Are you angry?"
"What?" Sandy gaped at him, reaching out to grab his arm reassuringly. "Sure, it's a shock, Jared. I didn't really expect this but no, I'm not angry. Just taken off guard, I guess." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Have you always known?"
"No. I mean, I didn't not know, I just didn't... realize, I guess."
"And Jensen?"
"He's helped me through a lot of stuff. If it weren't for him I'd still be at the gas station and working at the bar full time with no idea what to do with my life or where I'm going-"
"You'd still be with me?" Sandy asked curiously and Jared flushed slightly, shifting uncomfortably in his place.
"Not- he didn't- don't think he stole me away or anything!"
"Oh, god no, Jared!" Sandy laughed. "You're getting worked up over nothing here. I'm okay with this, really! We weren't happy together for a long time, Jared. I know that. Doesn't mean I'm going to be pissed at you because you've moved on or because you're interested in someone else. I guess I'm just surprised, is all. And kinda jealous." Jared caught her rueful grin and let out a quick laugh, somewhat relieved but still reeling from her sudden discovery. He hadn't given any thought to what would happen if someone found out or if he and Jensen were discovered.
"You're the first person to find out," Jared revealed.
"So you're going to tell other people?" Jared just shrugged.
"I think I'm going to have to. My parents don't quite understand why you and I broke up so there's already going to be a talk about that. I don't want to hide or anything."
"But you said Jensen's still kind of in the closet? How's that going to work?"
"I just won't tell anyone about him. If I told them about Jen people might think he 'changed me' or some bullshit, anyway." Jared made air quotes and frowned.
"So you're not going to tell anyone you and Jensen are together?"
"We're not really together," Jared tried to explain.
"What are you, then?"
Jared just shrugged helplessly. "Given everything else that's been going on in my life recently I think trying to define my relationship with an actor I hated on sight and didn't start liking until he almost got his ass kicked and then became a really great friend before anything else is just a little beyond me right now."
"I can see that," Sandy agreed with a laugh. "But wait, what happens when this movie thing is all over? Won't you go back to the bar and the gas station?"
Jared's eyes lit up and he gave her a tentative smile as he grabbed her hand. "Want to know something else about me no one else does?" He led her to his bedroom where he pulled out a stack of papers and college course books, showing Sandy the programmes on film-making, directing and producing from various colleges and universities around the country.
"Jared, this is great! Are you really going to take one of these?"
"I've already applied to a couple courses," Jared revealed quietly. He had looked for information on the courses and different schools on his own after doing some research through people he worked with on set. He applied to one in Dallas, one in New York and, on a whim, one in Los Angeles. "I don't want anyone to know because- well, it's..."
"Private. And a big thing for you," Sandy supplied. Jared nodded his agreement, then she leaned in and hugged him tight. "I'm proud of you, Jared. I just want you to be happy."
"Thanks, Sandy," he replied, surprised. He could only hope every reaction to the major decisions he'd been making would be this well received. "And I'm working on being happy. Any way I can."
~~~~
Another day on set, another night spent playing cards with the guys at the bar. Jensen was trying for a full house and having moderate luck but it seemed that Jared couldn't keep a half-decent hand at all. He fidgeted in his seat to the point where Jensen wanted to clamp his hand down on Jared's knee to stop his leg from vibrating up and down but then he'd be tempted to leave it there and one thing would lead to another...
"Jensen?" Jensen looked up quickly, worried he'd been caught staring or something and saw Landon look at him expectantly.
"Yeah?"
"You in, man?"
"Oh, right. Yeah." He threw his chips in the center of the table and waited for everyone else. Jared's leg was moving again; he could feel it beside him and it was starting to drive him crazy. Thankfully, Jared folded as par for the course that night and rubbed his hands on his legs as he pushed back from the table.
"I'll be right back," he said shortly in response to Jensen's unasked question as he looked up and watched Jared disappear toward the bathrooms.
A few minutes after Jared left Jensen's phone vibrated against his leg, ringtone turned off, and he answered it absently as he accepted his extra cards from the dealer. One of the other guys, Landon, called the hand and the table erupted in a chorus of jeers as he collected the pot. It was so loud Jensen almost missed the words of the caller.
"Tell the guys I'm sick and you need to take me home," Jared told him over the line, voice low. Jensen furrowed his brow and turned slightly in his seat, away from the noise.
"What? Jared, what's wrong?"
"Nothing unless you don't come get me and take me home," Jared replied impatiently. "Tell the guys I'm sick and waiting for you outside so you can take me home, okay?"
"Why?"
"Because I'm going to pin you to the fucking table in front of everyone if I can't touch you right now."
Jensen froze as his mind flashed a myriad of scenes in his head of Jared hovering over him on the table, grinning and flushed and leaning in and- "I'll be right there." He flipped his phone shut quickly and launched himself out of his chair, grabbing his coat.
"Jared's really sick, guys. He's in the bathroom having it out with the toilet so I'm going to get him out of here and take him home."
"That sucks, man. Always told Jared to stop drinking the cheap beer," Dave joked as he shuffled the cards. "Yeah, get out of here and get him home."
"Later," Jensen saluted them and fled to the bathroom where Jared was waiting just inside the door when Jensen pushed it open slowly. Jared grabbed his arm on the way out and practically dragged him out of the bar and to the truck. Once they were to the parking lot Jared shoved Jensen up against the side of his truck and kissed him hard, hands cupping the sides of Jensen's head. Jensen felt his knees go rubbery and held onto Jared's shirt, clenching his fingers into the fabric to keep himself from trying to rip it off.
"In the truck," Jensen gasped against Jared's mouth. Jared fumbled with the keys as he pressed his lips to Jensen's neck, trying to get access to his collarbone and chest through the open buttons, and finally got the door open. Jensen climbed across the seat from the driver's side, followed by Jared who rested one hand on the inside of Jensen's leg as he started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot.
Jensen watched Jared out of the corner of his eye, trying not to stare directly at him and distract him. His hand was stroking the inside of Jensen's thigh, not getting close enough to rub the backs of his fingers against Jensen's erection, hard and straining against the fly of his jeans, but close enough that Jensen held his breath with every sweep. He resisted the urge to grab Jared's hand and stop his hand from moving and gave into the urge to thrust his hips up, just enough for Jared's hand to slip and cup around his cock. Jensen moaned and Jared looked over, slightly shocked. Jensen grinned wolfishly, winking. "Say something," he whispered, realizing Jared hadn't said anything since they hung up their phones.
"I want you to fuck me," Jared choked out. Jensen's mouth fell open when it got hard to breathe and Jared turned back to the road, tightening his one hand on the steering wheel as he pushed the truck faster in accordance with his other hand that was sliding stroking squeezing around Jensen's cock. Jensen slumped down in his seat and clenched his hands into fists so he wouldn't be tempted to lean over and distract Jared further. He really would hate to be the cause of a car accident before he finally managed to see Jared totally naked.
The drive to Jared's building seemed to take no time at all, but climbing the three flights of stairs to the apartment took for-fucking-ever, on account of Jared pushing Jensen up against the wall at every landing, burying his face in his neck and running his hand up and down Jensen's back under his shirt, curling his fingers under the waistband of his jeans a few times. Jensen shoved him away and grabbed his hand, pulling him higher until they finally got to Jared's floor. Jensen pressed himself against Jared's back as he fumbled with his keys, hands unsteady as he tried to get the key into the lock. Jensen reached around and pressed his hands flat against Jared's front, pulling him backwards slightly, and buried his face in Jared's back, moaning as Jared's muscles flexed everywhere around him.
Finally the door was open, finally Jared was pulling him inside and finally Jensen was pushing Jared's shirt up over his head, mumbling 'fuck it' to the buttons. Jared followed his lead and pushed Jensen's jacket down his arms, then tugged his button up and undershirt up over his head. Jared tried to toe out of his shoes as he stepped backwards but Jensen pushed him at the same time and Jared stumbled, almost falling onto his ass. Jensen snickered at him briefly before stepping forward and kissing Jared's chest and running his tongue over Jared's pectorals. Jared groaned and let his head fall back, holding Jensen to him by his upper arms. Jensen pressed in further and he could feel Jared's cock jump in his jeans against him when he ducked his head and bit down lightly on Jared's left nipple.
"Come on," Jensen whispered, grabbing Jared's hand and leading him to the bedroom. He pushed Jared to the bed, guided by the streetlights that flooded the room and made it easy to see. Jared sat down on the bed easily and tried to pull Jensen down to him with a grin, but Jensen resisted. He stepped in close, between Jared's legs, and brushed Jared's hair out of his smiling face. Jared rested his hands on Jensen's hips and curled his thumbs under his waistband, sending a shudder through Jensen's body. Jensen felt his body calm down some as he stood there, running his hands through Jared's hair and he was going to speak up to say something but Jared moved his hands to the front of Jensen's jeans and thumbed the button open with a cocked eyebrow and questioning grin.
Jensen leaned down and kissed Jared hard, licking his tongue into his mouth as he pulled at Jared's hair lightly. Jared growled into his mouth and shoved at Jensen's jeans before he had the zipper fully down. Jensen chuckled against his mouth and helped him, their hands tangling with each other, until the denim was shoved down his legs far enough for him to step out of them. His underwear followed without ceremony. Jensen kicked them away while they continued to kiss, hands on Jared's shoulders for balance. He leaned down and caught Jared's mouth again quickly before shoving him backwards and climbing on the bed to straddle him, working his jeans open.
Jared cupped Jensen's face in his hands and tugged him up to press kisses down the side of his face and neck while Jensen pushed his jeans open and tried to get them down his hips. When he couldn't move them down he let out an exasperated moan against Jared's mouth and pulled back, rolling off Jared and poking at him to lift up so he could tug the pants down his long legs. Jared did with a laugh and let Jensen strip him easily, toeing his shoes off so Jensen could get the jeans off quicker. Once they were finally off and both of them were naked and breathing heavily, Jared pushed Jensen back on the bed and covered him with his body, working his tongue and teeth over Jensen's skin. Jensen watched Jared and bit down on his lip as Jared's mouth caught a sensitive part of his ribs, a sudden sense of reponsibility overtaking him.
"Jared," Jensen started with a gasp as Jared pressed soft, lingering kisses to Jensen's abdomen. "We don't have-"
"If you say we don't have to do this right now and try to spare me my virtue or some shit, I'm going to punch you," Jared ground out as he rubbed his hard cock against Jensen's thigh, streaking precome across his skin. Jensen bit down on his lip and nodded, reaching out to grab Jared's head and pull him up so he could bite and lick at his mouth.
Jared reached out blindly as he returned Jensen's assault on his mouth, fumbling with the drawer of his bedside table. He rustled around in it until he grunted into Jensen's mouth in triumph and pulled out a bottle of lube and some condoms that he dropped on the bed by their bodies. Jensen pulled back and glanced over at them, grinning and raising an eyebrow at Jared.
"Got big plans, have you?" Jensen asked, pointing at the five or six condoms Jared grabbed. Jensen expected Jared to give him a sheepish shrug and aww shucks grin, but instead Jared smiled down at him slyly and ran one large hand down Jensen's flank.
"You have no idea," Jared said in a low, rumbly voice that sent a thrill down Jensen's body to his toes. "I've been doing research, of sorts. Trying to figure out exactly how this goes and now that I think I have the theory down, it's time to put it into practice."
"Points for initiative," Jensen said with a grin. He leaned in and caught Jared's lips again, kissing him softly this time. He ran his hands up and down Jared's arms, then down to his hips, guiding him on how to lie down on the bed. Jared settled onto his back and handed Jensen the lube with a little hesitancy but his eyes were trusting. Jensen shook himself of any doubts because if Jared didn't have any he sure as hell shouldn't, and he coated two fingers with the gel quickly. He leaned down to kiss Jared, understanding why he wanted to do it this way instead of on his hands and knees, and let one finger circle lazily around Jared's cock and balls before trailing down to his hole. He could feel Jared trying to force himself to relax and whispered against his lips.
"Don't force it, okay? We're taking this slow and easy," Jensen said as he let his other hand slip down between them awkwardly to pull at Jared's cock. Jared took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, arching up into Jensen's hand as he stroked Jared slowly. His finger continued to circle Jared's opening slow and careful, with all the time in the world. Finally he started to press in with one finger gently, nipping at Jared's lips softly and listening to Jared's breath hitch in his lungs. Jared let his mouth drop open as Jensen pressed in and out shallowly, getting Jared used to the sensation. Once Jared started to push up against his finger Jensen pulled back and pushed two in, listening to Jared grunt at the extra stretch. Another finger followed soon after and Jensen could tell Jared was getting used to the burn, relaxing around his fingers as best he could.
"I don't want to hurt you so tell me if it's too much," Jensen said softly, running his other hand up and down Jared's abdomen and chest. Jared shifted under him, squeezing around his fingers and arching up with a slight wince.
"It'll be okay," he replied breathily. "Just... keep moving slow and try to find-" Jared's eyes widened as Jensen crooked his fingers a little and thrust in and out. Jensen grinned as Jared's mouth fell open. "Yeah, that."
He reached over on the bed, careful not to move too much, grabbed a condom and ripped it open for Jensen. Jensen got the hint and pulled his fingers out slowly, stifling a groan at the way Jared clenched around his hand. Jared rolled the condom on Jensen's cock easily and lubed him slowly, tugging and pulling at his cock until Jensen was biting back a groan and edging away with a warning look. Jared grinned up at him innocently and spread his legs wider, wrapping his hands around his knees to pull them up further. Jensen swallowed a groan and fought to keep his eyes from rolling back in his head at the sight and positioned himself between Jared's legs.
"Tell me if-," Jensen told Jared gruffly.
"Jensen, just- now," Jared blurted out, his voice thick with want and on the verge of cracking and crumbling. Jensen pressed forward, holding his cock, and pushed against Jared. There was resistance at first but Jared kept urging him on through gritted teeth as he tried to relax. Jensen reached down and started stroking Jared's cock that was only half-hard now and went slow, sinking into Jared easier now that he was past the initial resistance. He pulled out a little and pushed back in further as Jared let out a soft moan. Jensen froze but kept going once Jared shot him a dirty look.
"You okay?" Jensen's voice was strained as he tried to stay slow and even.
"Fine," Jared panted back. "Keep going."
Jensen set a slow, shallow rhythm until Jared started arching up to meet his thrusts carefully, moving his body to find the best angle until Jensen's thrust and his arch met at the right point and Jared felt a white-hot flash go through him and let out a loud gasping, "Oh, Jesus fuck!" Jensen stopped moving immediately at Jared's outburst, worried he hurt him.
"Move!" Jared hissed. "Do that again!"
"Which?" Jensen questioned, resuming his movement while Jared arched up even more. He gasped again as Jensen grazed that spot again and reached out to grab Jensen's hand, holding tight. He stared up at Jensen with determined eyes and arched up into every stroke. Their bodies were slick and slid against each other, hands on chest and arms, sweat dripping and harsh panting. Jared started jerking his own cock as his moans grew louder and Jensen covered his hand with his own, countering the strokes to his own thrusts.
Jensen could hear Jared babbling under him, quiet, breathy nonsense that he couldn't make out but it was driving him crazy. He sped up his thrusts, digging his feet into the bed to get better traction as Jared fucked himself down on Jensen's cock hard. He worried about how sore Jared was going to be when this was over but at the moment he was urging Jensen on with his eyes, his hands and soundless words that fell from his mouth. Jared let one hand fall between them and he reached between them to feel where Jensen's cock was disappearing into his own body. His eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open, letting out a gasping, "Holy fuck" and that's all it took for Jensen to fall apart, jerking erratically into Jared as he came. Jared held him in, quietly, as Jensen blew to pieces and recollected himself, collapsing on Jared's hard body. He eased himself up enough to continue jerking Jared's cock and kissed him hard, biting at his lips and gasping into his mouth, "Come on, Jared. Fucking come."
After, Jared took a chill from the air conditioner blowing cool air over their still-sweaty bodies and groped for the sheet that fell to the floor during their activities while Jensen remained sprawled across his chest. He threw the sheet over their bodies and shifted a little to pull Jensen closer, marvelling at the easy way their bodies fit together- chest to chest, hip to hip, legs sprawled across legs.
Part 5
Jared/Jensen, NC-17
See the index for a full header.
Part 3
"Where'd Jared get off to?" Jensen asked, playing innocent to Jared's mother. She was a nice lady- hell, Jared's whole damn family was nice. They reminded him of his own family and he felt welcome because of it.
"Oh, he just ran inside to wash up for dinner, Jensen," Jared's mom told him as she finished filling water glasses, and Jensen could see Jared in her grin.
"Actually, I should excuse myself as well," Jensen replied, standing up. "I'll get Jared to show me where it is, then?"
"Of course!" Before he could get away Jared's mom reached out and cupped his cheek. "You're adorable, Jensen. I'm glad JT's made a friend in you."
"Me too, Mrs. Padalecki," Jensen grinned back, wondering what she'd think if she knew he wanted to make more than a friend out of her son. He pushed those thoughts down, however, and walked inside the house, disappearing in the direction he'd watched Jared go.
When he got inside the house he looked around the rooms quickly, checking the downstairs bathroom, before heading toward the stairs where Jared must have gone. He noticed the family pictures lined up on the wall as he took the stairs two by two, chronicling the family from when Jared looked to be about six or seven until his senior year of high school, all six-foot plus of gawky, gangly, awkward and still-growing newly minted graduate. He paused on that one, feeling slightly voyeuristic because he felt like he was seeing a side of Jared that he clearly was not meant to, at least from the way Jared had reacted earlier today. He steeled himself and continued to the top of the stairs, pausing to get his bearings.
Jared wasn't in the upstairs bathroom, either. He could see into the master bedroom at the end of the hall from where he was standing and Jared wasn't in there, either. There were three other doors- one slightly ajar. He approached slowly and pushed the door open further, stepping inside. Jared was standing by the bed, leafing through an old notebook that must have been his.
"Took you long enough," Jared murmured without turning around. Jensen's mouth dropped open slightly and he looked around behind himself to make sure Jared was talking to him.
"I didn't know you wanted me here?" Jensen questioned slowly, confused and unsure.
"It's not that I didn't want you here, Jensen," Jared explained, dropping the notebook on the bed as he turned around. "I've been confused these past few weeks, okay? Between you showing up and then me breaking up with Sandy and getting this new job- it's all a shitfest. Pair that up with you turning whatever was left that I thought was normal upside down and I didn't handle the idea of you and my family colliding very well."
Jensen swallowed hard at Jared's words, finding it suddenly hard to breathe. He'd never meant to disrupt Jared's life in any way. He knew he should have kept his mouth shut, should have kept his hands to himself and realized that Jared was fine without him trying to change things. "Sorry, man."
Jared blinked. "For what?" Jensen furrowed his brow.
"For everything you just said. I've kind of fucked things up for you here."
"Are you always this thick?" Jared asked, shaking his head with a small smile. Jensen cocked his head, totally lost.
"Why do you automatically think the worst when I mention how weird my life's gotten? No one ever confronts me on this stuff, Jensen. I've never given it much thought myself and everyone else just figured this is where I was meant to be. Then you came in and made me see everything I could be doing. How is that a bad thing?"
"But Sandy-"
"Neither of us were very upset with the break up, Jensen. Doesn't that say something? Sandy's one of my best friends, sure, but I think that's all she's been for a long time. You just kicked my ass and got me doing things I wouldn't have otherwise and I should be thanking you for that," Jared told him with a shrug, stepping closer.
"But Sunday night," Jensen started in a low voice. "That kiss-"
"That wasn't a kiss." Jared shook his head.
"It wasn't?" Jensen asked, confused.
"Nope," Jared said with a grin as he stepped up to Jensen, pushing him lightly against the wall by the door. "This is."
Jared ducked his head and pressed his lips softly to Jensen's for a moment before opening his mouth and reaching up with one massive hand to cup the back of Jensen's head. Jensen let his hands flail for a moment before settling them on Jared's well-toned upper arms, clutching at the fabric of his thin t-shirt. He opened his mouth as well when he felt Jared's tongue cautiously press past his lips. He tried to edge closer, wanting to feel Jared against him but his legs refused to move as Jared kissed him slow and easy. Jensen started to move one of his hands around Jared's shoulders to mirror his position but he vaguely registered a door slam and the sound of footsteps downstairs.
"Jared!" Megan bellowed from the bottom of the stairs. Jared and Jensen sprang apart quickly, breathing heavily, and Jensen could feel his hands shaking as he clenched them into fists to get them to stop.
"Yeah?" Jared yelled back out the door.
"Mom says dinner will be ready in five minutes and to get your asses down here!" she yelled back. Jensen thought he could faintly hear Jared's mom scolding Megan from the backyard that she didn't say 'asses'.
"Yeah, okay! Give us a couple minutes, I'm showing Jensen the house!" Jared turned back to Jensen and shrugged, his lips swollen and red.
Jensen fought back the urge to laugh hysterically and smiled at Jared as he slid back in front of Jensen, hesitant and nervous now. Jensen reached up and brushed his fingertips across Jared's mouth lightly. Jared tried to lean in for another kiss but Jensen stopped him with a hand to his chest as he shook his head.
"Better not," Jensen said softly. Jared nodded and looked down, avoiding Jensen's eyes until the other man jerked his shirt at the front a little to grab his attention. "Hey, it's not that I don't want to."
"I know." Jared nodded. "Later."
"Later," Jensen echoed emphatically.
They straightened their clothes and brushed their hair down, trying to let the flush in their cheeks go away before they went back downstairs. Every time Jensen glanced over at Jared throughout the evening Jared's ears would turn pink and Jensen would feel his own face heating up in response. Their arms and hands brushed repeatedly during the meal as they passed platters back and forth over the picnic table and Jensen had to take a deep breath every time so he wouldn't be tempted to inch closer to Jared on their side of the table or lay a hand on Jared's strong, muscled thigh. And all the while they smiled brightly at Jared's parents and his sister who were none the wiser.
If only the Academy could see him now, Jensen thought to himself ruefully as Jared's hand ran over the back of his on the way to grab a roll, and they both cranked their smiles brighter.
~~~~
Megan rode back to the city with them, claiming to be meeting up with a friend of hers, but Jared was pretty sure she purposely called someone- anyone- so she could spend more time with Jensen. Not that he minded. He really wasn't sure what to say to Jensen now or how to act, so she was a good buffer between them, chattering and talking to Jensen the whole way in.
Jensen kissed her on the cheek chastely once Jared pulled up to a house a few blocks from his apartment. Megan blushed down to the tips of her toes before she hopped out of the truck and ran up the front walk of her friend's house. Jared waited until she was inside the house before pulling away from the curb, a sudden, thick silence falling between himself and Jensen. He drummed the fingers of one hand on the steering wheel as he drove, the other laying on the seat between them. He was watching the houses and stores pass him by when he felt something brush his hand and then a warm weight cover it. He looked over and Jensen was staring back at him hesitantly. Jared turned his hand over under Jensen's and laced their fingers together. Jensen flushed a little and stared out the window the rest of the way to Jared's apartment.
Jared pulled into the parking lot and parked beside Jensen's rental car. He cut the engine and listened to it ping as it cooled down. Jared watched Jensen out of the corner of his eye, wondering what he should do or say or if he should at all. Jensen appeared to be struggling with the same things because he remained silent and still as well. Finally Jared looked over at Jensen and squeezed his hand.
"Want to come up?" he asked huskily, his tone surprising both of them. Jensen shifted in his seat and cleared his throat but didn't pull his hand back.
"I probably shouldn't. Have to be up early to be on set and you have to be there even earlier than me," Jensen replied, just as quiet. Jared nodded and tried to push down the sprout of fear that was currently seeding in his stomach, curling up with doubts and paranoid delusions. He worried that in the hours between their kiss in his childhood bedroom and now Jensen had changed his mind about them.
"What are you doing tomorrow night?" Jensen asked. "We could-"
"I work at the bar. From ten till two. So I can't-"
"No, yeah. I get it. It's cool. Maybe Thursday or the weekend or something." Jensen nodded, and looked away out the window. The awkwardness was starting to make Jared's hand sweat against Jensen's and his mind was working over time, screaming at him to say or do something- to fucking move, so he started to pull his hand away. His fingers twitched under Jensen's and he opened his mouth to say something that would probably end up being pretty lame and then there was Jensen.
Before Jared could even take a breath Jensen was sliding across the seat and tugging him forward and dragging his head down to kiss him senseless, lips pressed hard and toungues tangling. Jared groaned and cupped Jensen's face with both of his hands, sweaty palm and all, while Jensen curled his fingers into Jared's button-up shirt to pull him closer. Jared tried to turn around into the kiss, but the seatbelt held him back and he let out a low growl as he fought to unbuckle it while keeping his hands on Jensen- petting, touching, feeling his way across his face and neck and down his back to rest on a hip or thigh or upper arm. Jensen tried to help but their fingers got tangled and he smiled against Jared's lips while Jared made frustrated noises as he continued to lick and suck at Jensen's mouth. Jensen whispered Jared's name once before pulling back and ducking his head with a laugh. The seatbelt was pressed against Jared's neck and his lips were swollen and red, giving him the tied up and debauched look.
"Jesus," Jensen muttered before leaning back in to kiss Jared quickly while unbuckling the belt for him. Jared tried to reach for him again but Jensen pulled back with an apologetic smile. "I should go."
Jared nodded and sat back against the seat, blowing out a long breath. "Yeah."
"You're working tomorrow, right?" Jensen asked, as if needing to be assured. Jared bit at his swollen lip and nodded as Jensen edged back to his side of the seat, his eyes on Jared's mouth. "So I'll see you then?"
"Yeah," Jared replied, voice hoarse. Jensen fumbled with the door handle and nearly fell out of the cab when he finally got it open. Jared hopped out of his side and followed Jensen to his car. "So...?"
"Yeah?" Jensen asked, fishing the keys out of his pocket and concentrated on getting the door unlocked.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Jared repeated. Jensen turned back to him, moving close enough to grab a fistful of Jared's t-shirt and pull him down for a quick but hard kiss.
"Yeah. Tomorrow." Jared grinned and backed up so he could get in his car and drive away. Jensen honked the horn as he pulled away and Jared gave him a short wave before jogging to his apartment, grinning the whole way.
~~~~
Jared had to laugh when he woke up the next morning feeling jittery and nervous. He couldn't remember feeling like that in... ever, possibly. It had been so simple with Sandy. He actually didn't remember ever being nervous around her or even needing to be- it all just happened. But Jensen, well. Jensen was obviously different than anything he'd ever known and it made Jared want to be different, try new things, be better. He grinned the whole way to work and when Darren asked him why he was more cheerful than usual that morning Jared just winked and handed him his usual latte. It wasn't until later in the morning that he finally saw Jensen, while he was taking a quick break at the craft services table.
"Hey," Jensen said, sidling up to Jared who was raiding craft services of their jelly rolls and cheese croissants. Jared grinned back at Jensen and jerked his head toward one of the picnic tables at the end of the row where everyone ate. Jensen followed with his own plate of food and they sat on the same side of one table, trying to keep a few inches between them so it wouldn't look too odd.
"How's it going?" Jensen asked quietly, popping a couple of grapes in his mouth.
Jared nodded. "Not bad."
"Not freaking out, or anything?" Jensen asked casually.
"What makes you think I'd be freaking out?" Jared countered and Jensen shrugged.
"Just making sure, I guess?"
"Should I be? Do you want me to be freaking out?"
"Of course not. I'm just- I really don't want to fuck this up, you know?"
Jared ducked his head and then glanced up at Jensen from under his mop of shaggy hair and grinned shyly. "I get that." Jared watched Jensen's eyes light up and he smiled back before glancing around and bit his lip, straightening. Jared knew that he understood, though.
"Come to my trailer on your next break, okay? I've got to run through some lines between spots for a couple entertainment shows so I'll probably be hanging out there all day," Jensen explained as they finished their snacks and stood to throw out their garbage. "We could play some Playstation or something, I'll need something to distract me from the boredom."
Jared nodded and waved as he started walking in the other direction, back to where Darren was shouting directions to the rest of the crew. "Will do. Catch you later." Jared tried to keep the grin on his face from being too obvious and resisted the urge to give a little wiggle because he could feel Jensen watching him as he walked off. Part of him was downright embarrassed at how lovesick and school yard crush-esque he felt but the other part, the part that was clearly ruling, didn't care and basked in the newfound giddiness he was feeling.
~~~~
"Hey," Jared said as he entered Jensen's trailer after a brief knock. Jensen was sitting at the small table with his script while tapping his fingers on the tabletop. "You okay?"
"Bored out of my fucking mind," Jensen sighed as he shoved the script away. "Did you lock the door?"
Jared shot him a weird look and turned back to make sure the door was closed tight and locked it. "You got some-"
Jared was cut off as he turned back around and Jensen was standing in front of him, reaching up to hold his head as he pressed his lips to Jared's, shoving his tongue in his mouth eagerly. Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen's waist and kissed him back, humming into his mouth. He could feel Jensen smile against his mouth and held him tighter, pulling him closer.
When they separated Jensen's lips were swollen and his eyes were heavy lidded and Jared expected he looked just as mussed. He ran his thumb along Jensen's bottom lip and grinned when Jensen stuck the tip of his tongue out to graze the pad. Jensen grabbed his hand and pulled him to his small couch and tugged him down as he sat. Jared followed him and sat rather stiffly, unsure of what to do next. Jensen wrapped his hand around the back of Jared's neck and gently pulled him in for another kiss, letting his other hand fall to Jared's waist. Jared could feel the rough callouses on Jensen's fingers as he trailed his hand up and down Jared's neck, angling his head gently as they kissed easily.
By the time the cell phone in Jared's pocket rang, vibrating between his leg and Jensen's, twenty minutes had passed and Jensen was sprawled under Jared's large body, cradling him between his legs. Jensen gasped into Jared's mouth when his phone went off and he pulled away with a broken laugh as Jared swore and struggled for his phone. He answered it curtly and told Darren he'd be back on set in five, as Jensen gave him a hot look.
"Cut that out, man," Jared mumbled, leaning down to kiss Jensen again quickly. He crawled off Jensen then, standing up to straighten out his clothing as best he could. Jensen sat up and watched him, resisting the urge to pull Jared back down to him. Jared got himself back in order and leaned down to kiss Jensen quickly but a knock at the door surprised them both and they sprang apart.
"Jensen, your next interview is in ten minutes. Are you ready?" Lynne called through the door, tugging on the handle to get it open. Jensen sighed and muttered under his breath to himself as he got up to unlock the door for her. She climbed the steps and smiled at Jared warmly when she noticed he was there.
"Which one is it?" Jensen asked.
"Entertainment Tonight. E! is coming later on," Lynne told him, consulting a notepad she pulled out of her jacket pocket. "Oh, and Jared? Tina was looking for you. Short PA with the high pony-tail?" Lynne gestured to her head to explain when Jared gave her a blank stare.
"Oh," Jared replied dully. He frowned and turned to Jensen. "See you later?"
"You okay?" he asked quietly at Jared's abrupt change in moods.
"Yeah, it's cool," Jared sighed. "She's just... nosy. I'll catch you after we wrap for the day, hey?"
Jared could feel Jensen's eyes on him as he left the trailer, ducking considerably to get through the door. When he got to the production tent Tina was eying him curiously, and Jared held in an exasperated 'what' in favour of a nod and a request for the day's assignments.
"Did you just come from Jensen's trailer?" Tina asked, ignoring his question.
"Yes," Jared replied as naturally as possible.
"How is he?" she asked casually, trying not to look interested.
"Fine," Jared answered shortly.
"So you two are getting to be pretty good friends, huh?" Tina started, moving closer to Jared who watched her carefully. "That's cool. Nice to see you guys are hitting it off.
"Uh huh," Jared said slowly.
"It's just, you know, everyone says he's kind of a loner and doesn't have many friends or anything. It's nice to hear that you guys hang out."
"I can imagine," Jared replied lightly. She raised her eyebrows at Jared but he just looked back at her calmly, refusing to give any more information than she asked for, or was necessary. Tina rolled her eyes and slapped some papers in his hand.
"Darren needs this stuff by the end of the day and he's going to be back on set in an hour."
"Thanks," Jared murmured and turned to leave.
"You know people are talking about you, too?" Tina said behind him. "Wondering what's so great about you?"
"I'd be disappointed if they didn't," Jared threw back and left as quickly as possible without looking like he was running away.
~~~~
The first time Jensen took a chance and eased his hand into Jared's pants he wasn't sure if he was crossing a line. He didn't ask first and Jared didn't say anything about where his boundaries were so Jensen decided to take things into his own hands- quite literally. They were on the sofa in his sitting area in his hotel suite- the first time Jared had visited him at his hotel- and one thing led to another.
"Jen..." Jared moaned and tried to stop himself from thrusting up into Jensen's hand. Jensen buried his face in Jared's neck and unzipped his jeans more to get a better angle.
He murmured against Jared's throat, "It's okay. Don't hold back." Jared groaned and his hips moved jerkily with Jensen's hand, already too hard, too hot, too much in general to stop moving. The movie that Jared picked for them to watch was long forgotten and played quietly in the background as Jensen's hand curled around him, stroking him with rough, sure pulls. Jensen's mouth moved against his neck, licking and sucking gently, trying not to leave marks and succeeding for the most part. Jensen moved closer, almost straddling Jared's thigh and rubbed against him, trying to get his own friction. It was all too much for Jared and he shuddered suddenly, coming all over Jensen's hand and shaking around him. Jensen moaned with him and kept stroking him lightly until Jared grunted at the touch on his sensitive cock.
"Fuck," Jensen whispered, sitting back some. He shakily undid his own pants, pulled out his own cock and wrapped the hand that Jared came on around it, closing his eyes to avoid Jared's heavy-lidded stare.
"Jen," Jared whispered, trying to edge forward. "Let me."
"No," Jensen breathed, curling his leg around Jared's thigh tighter and moving against him as his hand moved quickly. "I'm almost..." Within a minute he came as well, panting loudly and staring at Jared, slack-jawed.
"Down and dirty, but it was either that or come in my pants," Jensen explained when he caught his breath.
"I should feel flattered?" Jared asked, laughing a little. Jensen smiled and nodded, leaning forward to kiss him lightly.
"So much for the movie," he mumbled.
"It wasn't that good anyway," Jared told him, kissing Jensen's throat.
"You're right. I passed on it," Jensen replied, arching into Jared.
"Smart man." Jared just laughed as Jensen poked him in the stomach.
~~~~
Jared's life took an unexpected and very weird turn once he and Jensen settled into a variation on their usual routine. They still met for meals on set and Jensen saw Jared at the bar and they went to play cards and went to a couple movies, went to parties hosted by Jared's friends, but for every moment they spent together under the guise of being close friends, there was another stolen moment, too. Kissing under a stairwell or in Jensen's trailer, the brush of their hands when reaching for the same thing, a quick and bone-melting hand-job in Jared's truck before dropping Jensen off at night- all frequent occasions that worked their way into Jared's life. He had to admit that it was rather exciting and sexy to be sneaking around all the time, but he wondered to himself if it would only ever be sneaking around. Every time Jensen looked around to see who was watching or stopped kissing him suddenly because he thought someone would walk in the room or when he shushed Jared because he was moaning too loudly- it dampened his unspoken hopes that maybe Jensen would just come out already.
Then Jensen would kiss him and whisper against his lips and Jared would forget everything else for the time being- which was all he could really want at that point.
"Hey, I brought dinner," Jensen called out as he walked into Jared's apartment without knocking one night after they finished work for the day. In the living room Jared was putting a disc in the dvd player, ready for a quiet night to relax after a long day on set.
"You mean you ordered room service and got them to box it up?" Jared asked with a knowing smile as Jensen walked in and rolled his eyes.
"It's the thought that counts?" Jensen tried again, setting the bag down on the coffee table. Jared just shook his head and tried to walk past Jensen to the kitchen so he could grab some plates and utensils. Jensen grabbed his hand and pulled him to a stop before he could disappear into the other room, tugging him to him and tilting his head up for a quick kiss. Jared wrapped their joined hands behind Jensen's back and gave in willingly, smiling against his lips briefly before pulling back. He bit down on Jensen's lower lip lightly and then let him go to get to the kitchen. Jensen grinned at his back goofily, then shook it off and started pulling the take out containers out of the bag.
Jared sat down on the floor, pulling the coffee table to him for easier access as he ate and Jensen sat on the couch behind him, balancing his plate on one knee and eating with one hand while the other ran through Jared's hair. Jared didn't eat more than a few mouthfuls before he was leaning his head back on Jensen's leg and watching the movie with half-closed eyes. Jensen put his plate aside as well and Jared moved to the couch, sitting as close to Jensen as he dared without curling around the other man and tried to watch the movie as closely as possible, a feat easier said than done with Jensen leaning over to kiss his neck softly.
"And just what," Jared started, turning his head enough to look Jensen in the eyes. "Do you think you're doing?"
"You're supposed to neck at the movies, aren't you?" Jensen asked with a smirk.
"I don't know if it's quite the same thing. My floors aren't nearly as sticky, for one," Jared replied with a laugh. Jensen leaned in and kissed him slowly, working his tongue between Jared's lips lazily. Jared opened up to him and cupped Jensen's jaw with his hand, tilting his head at just the right angle to coax noises of approval from Jensen. Jared leaned back against the couch as Jensen's hand went questing over his body, finding the edge of his t-shirt and working it under so he could run a hand over Jared's flat, stomach and muscled chest. Jared didn't disapprove when Jensen pulled back and kissed his throat, sucking and licking down to where the collar of his shirt hid skin. Jensen grabbed the edge of the t-shirt again and yanked it up, leaning down to kiss Jared's chest.
Jared's mouth dropped open and he pressed back into the couch cushions as he watched Jensen move down his body with his mouth. Jensen could feel his cock start to press against the zipper of his jeans and moved his hips a little in hopes of relieving some of the pressure. Jensen laid a hand on his leg, perilously close to Jared's growing hard on. He tried to edge his hips out of the way, to grab Jensen's hand and hold it instead but Jensen slid off the couch and onto his knees beside Jared.
"What are you doing?" Jared asked, his voice thicker than usual. Jensen ran his hands up and down Jared's exposed midsection until his hands rested on Jared's beltbuckle.
"You're right. Your floors aren't sticky. It makes this that much eaiser." Jensen winked at him and Jared frowned, confused until Jensen started to unbuckle his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. Jared's mouth fell open slightly and he wasn't sure what to say or do. Luckily Jensen took the lead and coaxed Jared's hips up enough to slide the jeans down his thighs just enough for Jared to spread his legs wider. His mouth was dry now and his breaths were raspier than usual. Jensen grinned up at him as he pulled Jared's cock from his underwear and palmed it, rubbing his thumb over the head.
"Oh, god," Jared whispered as he watched Jensen lower his head and suck Jared's cock into his mouth. That was the last thing he could remember saying or even thinking after that.
Jared watched as Jensen moved his head up and down, lips sliding easily over his cock. He could feel his body heating up with every lick and suck Jensen made, fingers digging into Jared's thighs that were still covered by his jeans. Jensen had only given him a wolfish grin and an arched eyebrow as warning before he dropped to his knees and pulled Jared's jeans open. Jared had stared down at him dumbly, lifting up at Jensen's command so he could slide the jeans down enough to pull his cock out, then his mouth was on Jared's cock and neither of them thought of much else.
Jared dropped one hand to Jensen's head and guided him up and down, fast then slow and fast again, and groaned softly. Jensen followed his commands and swirled his tongue over the head of Jared's cock every time he pulled up, enjoying Jared's response as his fingers tried to wind around his short hair. Jared threw his head back and gasped every time Jensen's tongue licked over the head of his cock. Jensen kept humming and moaning around him, driving Jared closer to the edge. He wasn't sure how long he held on for but it felt like forever and no time at all at once. Too soon, it seemed he was coming, jerking and pulsing in Jensen's mouth but there was a feeling of finally racing through his body; a relief at the sudden and welcome release.
"Jesus," Jared panted as soon as he could catch his breath and say something semi-coherent. Jensen grinned up at him from his spot on the floor and carefully tucked him back into his pants. Jared noticed Jensen shifting uncomfortably from his spot and urged him up off the floor. He tried to lay Jensen down on the couch beside him but Jensen resisted at first.
"It's okay, Jared. I don't want you to feel like you have to reciprocate, man," Jensen explained. Jared just gave him a look and tugged him down to the couch and kissed him hard before pushing him back against the cushions.
"Guide me," he whispered as he unzipped Jensen's pants. It's not like he didn't know the basic steps to giving a blowjob. He'd obviously had a few in his day and curiosity demanded that he find video on the subject when he was tentatively exploring the idea of being attracted to men.
Jensen took a deep breath as Jared pushed Jensen's boxer briefs down and pulled him out. He laid his hand on Jared's and wrapped his fingers the way he liked. "Like this, tighter here. Don't be afraid to go harder, I don't mind."
Jared started slowly, watching Jensen for his reactions when Jared tried different things with his fingers, dropping his other hand down to trace patterns on Jensen's jean-clad thighs and eventually trail under his cock to his balls. Jensen's whole body jerked when Jared scraped a fingernail along the crease between his balls and he grinned, listening to Jensen moan loudly. When Jensen's eyes fluttered shut Jared took a breath and lowered his head to Jensen's cock, licking a stripe up from base to tip. Jensen's eyes popped open quickly and then shut just as fast again when Jared repeated that, in between strokes.
"That's good," Jensen told him, voice strained. "That's really good."
Jared smiled to himself and moved his free hand to the edge of Jensen's t-shirt, pushing it up far enough to Jared could scrape his nails over Jensen's chest and nipples. Jensen let out a strangled moan and dropped his head to the back of the couch, trying to relax around Jared so he wouldn't thrust up at him. Jared could see his restraint and while he appreciated it, he didn't want to be coddled.
He started stroking faster and moving his hand in a way he'd seen in a couple porn videos, not sure if the move would work. Jensen's grunts and rhythmic moaning seemed to assure him that it did, indeed, work and he kept going with it as he flicked his tongue over the head of the cock between strokes. Jensen couldn't hide his reactions now and he moaned loudly as his feet moved restlessly around Jared. Jared took the head in his mouth a little at a time and bobbed up and down experimentally until he could feel Jensen's hand on his shoulder, pushing him back. Jared backed off a little but kept his lips on the head so Jensen came in his mouth. He didn't recoil at the sudden rush or the taste and managed to swallow most of it. When Jensen finally relaxed he looked down at Jared who was pulling back and grabbed him, sitting up to kiss him suddenly. He licked at Jared's chin where he spilled a little and Jared gasped at how fast his cock responded to the feeling, the very thought of Jensen doing that.
Jensen pulled him down on the couch with him, moving his body around enough for Jared to share the space awkwardly, wrapping his arms around Jensen's shoulders and covering Jensen's legs with one of his own. Jensen continued to kiss his face, moving down his neck where he bit lightly and soothed the mark with his tongue. Jared let out a contented sigh and relaxed against him easily, body suddenly boneless.
"You catch on quick," Jensen mumured, kissing Jared's chin.
"I have good reason to," Jared rumbled back so Jensen could feel the vibrations through their skin and clothes.
"We should do something this weekend. Maybe go see a movie or something," Jensen pondered as he ran his hand up and down Jared's back.
"We could do that," Jared replied easily. "I was thinking of having some people over on Saturday or something. Have another barbecue, maybe. Or we could go out for dinner- oh! There might be a game this weekend, we could get tickets."
Jensen laughed. "It all sounds good. We'll figure it out." Jared relaxed and listened to the steady sound of Jensen breathing under him.
~~~~
"I should go," Jensen mumbled against Jared's mouth as he tried to back up slowly toward the door later in the week. Every night ended up like this, one of them leaving slowly, trying to draw out one last kiss or leisurely stroke of a hand down the other's body. Jared walked him backwards, hands on Jensen's hips as he kissed the other man thoroughly.
"You don't have to," Jared replied, just as muffled. Jensen let out a frustrated groan and pulled Jared against him tighter.
"I should, though."
Jared pulled back enough to look into Jensen's eyes, their lips swollen. "Don't."
Jensen looked serious for a moment, then opened his mouth to speak with a slight smile. Jared could have screamed when the knock came at the door and then Sandy's voice called out, "Jared, are you there? Can I talk to you?"
"Fuck," he cursed quietly, burying his face in Jensen's neck.
"Guess that's my cue," Jensen said ruefully before he pulled away from Jared and straightened his clothes quickly. Jared ran a hand through his hair and wiped his mouth, knowing he still looked rumpled and aroused but he hoped Sandy wouldn't notice. Jensen nodded and Jared answered the door for Sandy who walked in without question. She stopped short when she saw Jensen and grinned.
"Hey, Jensen. What's up? What were you guys up to? Anything exciting happening on set?" She asked rapid fire so Jensen had to laugh and gave her a quick hug.
"Not much, hanging out and nothing out of the ordinary," he replied with a grin. "I wish I could stay and talk with you Sandy, but I have to get home and go to bed. Don't you keep this one up too late, now."
Jensen reinforced his words with a pointed finger in Jared's chest. Jared grabbed Jensen's hand and kept it away from him playfully, mock-growling at him until Jensen pulled his hand back with a laugh and stepped out the door. "Talk to you tomorrow?" he asked, looking up at Jared. Jared nodded and mouthed 'goodnight' before shutting the door softly and turning to Sandy.
"What's up?"
She stared back at him questioningly, and Jared could see the thoughts forming, the wheels moving as she thought. "What was that?"
"What was what?" Jared asked innocently.
"I saw that."
"Saw what?" Jared laughed and brushed past her to the kitchen where he grabbed a beer and drank half of it right away. She stood behind him in the doorway, hands on hips as she watched him calculatingly.
"What's going on, Jared?"
"Nothing, Sandy!" Jared exclaimed. "What did you need to talk to me about?"
"Nothing that can't wait." There was a hesitant pause before she continued. "I see the way you look at him," she said softly. "It's the way I always thought I looked at you."
Jared started to redden and stuttered a little, staring at his beer. "I don't- what are you- what do you mean?"
"Jared, is something going on between you and Jensen?"
Jared sputtered and tried to snort. "No! Of course not. We're just friends, we hang out."
"You're not looking me in the eye. You suck at lying, Jared. We both know it. So what's going on?" Sandy asked him, stepping in front of him so he couldn't look anywhere else. Jared bit his lip and tried to think of something to say that she'd believe but there was nothing.
"It's not like this was supposed to happen. I didn't even like him when he showed up in town!" Jared finally exploded. Sandy raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue. "Things just- happened."
"And what's been happening?" She pressed.
"This can't go any further, Sandy," Jared pleaded. Sandy reached up and slapped him lightly in the face.
"Hey! Who do you think you're talking to here? Just spill, Jared."
"Jensen's gay. I found out awhile ago and that he's still basically in the closet. We've been hanging out a lot and... I don't know."
"One thing led to another?" Jared nodded. "So, are you gay?"
"No. Well, I mean- no. I think I'm bisexual."
"Well. That's certainly something." Jared felt his palms get sweaty as Sandy considered this new information.
"Are you angry?"
"What?" Sandy gaped at him, reaching out to grab his arm reassuringly. "Sure, it's a shock, Jared. I didn't really expect this but no, I'm not angry. Just taken off guard, I guess." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Have you always known?"
"No. I mean, I didn't not know, I just didn't... realize, I guess."
"And Jensen?"
"He's helped me through a lot of stuff. If it weren't for him I'd still be at the gas station and working at the bar full time with no idea what to do with my life or where I'm going-"
"You'd still be with me?" Sandy asked curiously and Jared flushed slightly, shifting uncomfortably in his place.
"Not- he didn't- don't think he stole me away or anything!"
"Oh, god no, Jared!" Sandy laughed. "You're getting worked up over nothing here. I'm okay with this, really! We weren't happy together for a long time, Jared. I know that. Doesn't mean I'm going to be pissed at you because you've moved on or because you're interested in someone else. I guess I'm just surprised, is all. And kinda jealous." Jared caught her rueful grin and let out a quick laugh, somewhat relieved but still reeling from her sudden discovery. He hadn't given any thought to what would happen if someone found out or if he and Jensen were discovered.
"You're the first person to find out," Jared revealed.
"So you're going to tell other people?" Jared just shrugged.
"I think I'm going to have to. My parents don't quite understand why you and I broke up so there's already going to be a talk about that. I don't want to hide or anything."
"But you said Jensen's still kind of in the closet? How's that going to work?"
"I just won't tell anyone about him. If I told them about Jen people might think he 'changed me' or some bullshit, anyway." Jared made air quotes and frowned.
"So you're not going to tell anyone you and Jensen are together?"
"We're not really together," Jared tried to explain.
"What are you, then?"
Jared just shrugged helplessly. "Given everything else that's been going on in my life recently I think trying to define my relationship with an actor I hated on sight and didn't start liking until he almost got his ass kicked and then became a really great friend before anything else is just a little beyond me right now."
"I can see that," Sandy agreed with a laugh. "But wait, what happens when this movie thing is all over? Won't you go back to the bar and the gas station?"
Jared's eyes lit up and he gave her a tentative smile as he grabbed her hand. "Want to know something else about me no one else does?" He led her to his bedroom where he pulled out a stack of papers and college course books, showing Sandy the programmes on film-making, directing and producing from various colleges and universities around the country.
"Jared, this is great! Are you really going to take one of these?"
"I've already applied to a couple courses," Jared revealed quietly. He had looked for information on the courses and different schools on his own after doing some research through people he worked with on set. He applied to one in Dallas, one in New York and, on a whim, one in Los Angeles. "I don't want anyone to know because- well, it's..."
"Private. And a big thing for you," Sandy supplied. Jared nodded his agreement, then she leaned in and hugged him tight. "I'm proud of you, Jared. I just want you to be happy."
"Thanks, Sandy," he replied, surprised. He could only hope every reaction to the major decisions he'd been making would be this well received. "And I'm working on being happy. Any way I can."
~~~~
Another day on set, another night spent playing cards with the guys at the bar. Jensen was trying for a full house and having moderate luck but it seemed that Jared couldn't keep a half-decent hand at all. He fidgeted in his seat to the point where Jensen wanted to clamp his hand down on Jared's knee to stop his leg from vibrating up and down but then he'd be tempted to leave it there and one thing would lead to another...
"Jensen?" Jensen looked up quickly, worried he'd been caught staring or something and saw Landon look at him expectantly.
"Yeah?"
"You in, man?"
"Oh, right. Yeah." He threw his chips in the center of the table and waited for everyone else. Jared's leg was moving again; he could feel it beside him and it was starting to drive him crazy. Thankfully, Jared folded as par for the course that night and rubbed his hands on his legs as he pushed back from the table.
"I'll be right back," he said shortly in response to Jensen's unasked question as he looked up and watched Jared disappear toward the bathrooms.
A few minutes after Jared left Jensen's phone vibrated against his leg, ringtone turned off, and he answered it absently as he accepted his extra cards from the dealer. One of the other guys, Landon, called the hand and the table erupted in a chorus of jeers as he collected the pot. It was so loud Jensen almost missed the words of the caller.
"Tell the guys I'm sick and you need to take me home," Jared told him over the line, voice low. Jensen furrowed his brow and turned slightly in his seat, away from the noise.
"What? Jared, what's wrong?"
"Nothing unless you don't come get me and take me home," Jared replied impatiently. "Tell the guys I'm sick and waiting for you outside so you can take me home, okay?"
"Why?"
"Because I'm going to pin you to the fucking table in front of everyone if I can't touch you right now."
Jensen froze as his mind flashed a myriad of scenes in his head of Jared hovering over him on the table, grinning and flushed and leaning in and- "I'll be right there." He flipped his phone shut quickly and launched himself out of his chair, grabbing his coat.
"Jared's really sick, guys. He's in the bathroom having it out with the toilet so I'm going to get him out of here and take him home."
"That sucks, man. Always told Jared to stop drinking the cheap beer," Dave joked as he shuffled the cards. "Yeah, get out of here and get him home."
"Later," Jensen saluted them and fled to the bathroom where Jared was waiting just inside the door when Jensen pushed it open slowly. Jared grabbed his arm on the way out and practically dragged him out of the bar and to the truck. Once they were to the parking lot Jared shoved Jensen up against the side of his truck and kissed him hard, hands cupping the sides of Jensen's head. Jensen felt his knees go rubbery and held onto Jared's shirt, clenching his fingers into the fabric to keep himself from trying to rip it off.
"In the truck," Jensen gasped against Jared's mouth. Jared fumbled with the keys as he pressed his lips to Jensen's neck, trying to get access to his collarbone and chest through the open buttons, and finally got the door open. Jensen climbed across the seat from the driver's side, followed by Jared who rested one hand on the inside of Jensen's leg as he started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot.
Jensen watched Jared out of the corner of his eye, trying not to stare directly at him and distract him. His hand was stroking the inside of Jensen's thigh, not getting close enough to rub the backs of his fingers against Jensen's erection, hard and straining against the fly of his jeans, but close enough that Jensen held his breath with every sweep. He resisted the urge to grab Jared's hand and stop his hand from moving and gave into the urge to thrust his hips up, just enough for Jared's hand to slip and cup around his cock. Jensen moaned and Jared looked over, slightly shocked. Jensen grinned wolfishly, winking. "Say something," he whispered, realizing Jared hadn't said anything since they hung up their phones.
"I want you to fuck me," Jared choked out. Jensen's mouth fell open when it got hard to breathe and Jared turned back to the road, tightening his one hand on the steering wheel as he pushed the truck faster in accordance with his other hand that was sliding stroking squeezing around Jensen's cock. Jensen slumped down in his seat and clenched his hands into fists so he wouldn't be tempted to lean over and distract Jared further. He really would hate to be the cause of a car accident before he finally managed to see Jared totally naked.
The drive to Jared's building seemed to take no time at all, but climbing the three flights of stairs to the apartment took for-fucking-ever, on account of Jared pushing Jensen up against the wall at every landing, burying his face in his neck and running his hand up and down Jensen's back under his shirt, curling his fingers under the waistband of his jeans a few times. Jensen shoved him away and grabbed his hand, pulling him higher until they finally got to Jared's floor. Jensen pressed himself against Jared's back as he fumbled with his keys, hands unsteady as he tried to get the key into the lock. Jensen reached around and pressed his hands flat against Jared's front, pulling him backwards slightly, and buried his face in Jared's back, moaning as Jared's muscles flexed everywhere around him.
Finally the door was open, finally Jared was pulling him inside and finally Jensen was pushing Jared's shirt up over his head, mumbling 'fuck it' to the buttons. Jared followed his lead and pushed Jensen's jacket down his arms, then tugged his button up and undershirt up over his head. Jared tried to toe out of his shoes as he stepped backwards but Jensen pushed him at the same time and Jared stumbled, almost falling onto his ass. Jensen snickered at him briefly before stepping forward and kissing Jared's chest and running his tongue over Jared's pectorals. Jared groaned and let his head fall back, holding Jensen to him by his upper arms. Jensen pressed in further and he could feel Jared's cock jump in his jeans against him when he ducked his head and bit down lightly on Jared's left nipple.
"Come on," Jensen whispered, grabbing Jared's hand and leading him to the bedroom. He pushed Jared to the bed, guided by the streetlights that flooded the room and made it easy to see. Jared sat down on the bed easily and tried to pull Jensen down to him with a grin, but Jensen resisted. He stepped in close, between Jared's legs, and brushed Jared's hair out of his smiling face. Jared rested his hands on Jensen's hips and curled his thumbs under his waistband, sending a shudder through Jensen's body. Jensen felt his body calm down some as he stood there, running his hands through Jared's hair and he was going to speak up to say something but Jared moved his hands to the front of Jensen's jeans and thumbed the button open with a cocked eyebrow and questioning grin.
Jensen leaned down and kissed Jared hard, licking his tongue into his mouth as he pulled at Jared's hair lightly. Jared growled into his mouth and shoved at Jensen's jeans before he had the zipper fully down. Jensen chuckled against his mouth and helped him, their hands tangling with each other, until the denim was shoved down his legs far enough for him to step out of them. His underwear followed without ceremony. Jensen kicked them away while they continued to kiss, hands on Jared's shoulders for balance. He leaned down and caught Jared's mouth again quickly before shoving him backwards and climbing on the bed to straddle him, working his jeans open.
Jared cupped Jensen's face in his hands and tugged him up to press kisses down the side of his face and neck while Jensen pushed his jeans open and tried to get them down his hips. When he couldn't move them down he let out an exasperated moan against Jared's mouth and pulled back, rolling off Jared and poking at him to lift up so he could tug the pants down his long legs. Jared did with a laugh and let Jensen strip him easily, toeing his shoes off so Jensen could get the jeans off quicker. Once they were finally off and both of them were naked and breathing heavily, Jared pushed Jensen back on the bed and covered him with his body, working his tongue and teeth over Jensen's skin. Jensen watched Jared and bit down on his lip as Jared's mouth caught a sensitive part of his ribs, a sudden sense of reponsibility overtaking him.
"Jared," Jensen started with a gasp as Jared pressed soft, lingering kisses to Jensen's abdomen. "We don't have-"
"If you say we don't have to do this right now and try to spare me my virtue or some shit, I'm going to punch you," Jared ground out as he rubbed his hard cock against Jensen's thigh, streaking precome across his skin. Jensen bit down on his lip and nodded, reaching out to grab Jared's head and pull him up so he could bite and lick at his mouth.
Jared reached out blindly as he returned Jensen's assault on his mouth, fumbling with the drawer of his bedside table. He rustled around in it until he grunted into Jensen's mouth in triumph and pulled out a bottle of lube and some condoms that he dropped on the bed by their bodies. Jensen pulled back and glanced over at them, grinning and raising an eyebrow at Jared.
"Got big plans, have you?" Jensen asked, pointing at the five or six condoms Jared grabbed. Jensen expected Jared to give him a sheepish shrug and aww shucks grin, but instead Jared smiled down at him slyly and ran one large hand down Jensen's flank.
"You have no idea," Jared said in a low, rumbly voice that sent a thrill down Jensen's body to his toes. "I've been doing research, of sorts. Trying to figure out exactly how this goes and now that I think I have the theory down, it's time to put it into practice."
"Points for initiative," Jensen said with a grin. He leaned in and caught Jared's lips again, kissing him softly this time. He ran his hands up and down Jared's arms, then down to his hips, guiding him on how to lie down on the bed. Jared settled onto his back and handed Jensen the lube with a little hesitancy but his eyes were trusting. Jensen shook himself of any doubts because if Jared didn't have any he sure as hell shouldn't, and he coated two fingers with the gel quickly. He leaned down to kiss Jared, understanding why he wanted to do it this way instead of on his hands and knees, and let one finger circle lazily around Jared's cock and balls before trailing down to his hole. He could feel Jared trying to force himself to relax and whispered against his lips.
"Don't force it, okay? We're taking this slow and easy," Jensen said as he let his other hand slip down between them awkwardly to pull at Jared's cock. Jared took a deep breath and blew it out slowly, arching up into Jensen's hand as he stroked Jared slowly. His finger continued to circle Jared's opening slow and careful, with all the time in the world. Finally he started to press in with one finger gently, nipping at Jared's lips softly and listening to Jared's breath hitch in his lungs. Jared let his mouth drop open as Jensen pressed in and out shallowly, getting Jared used to the sensation. Once Jared started to push up against his finger Jensen pulled back and pushed two in, listening to Jared grunt at the extra stretch. Another finger followed soon after and Jensen could tell Jared was getting used to the burn, relaxing around his fingers as best he could.
"I don't want to hurt you so tell me if it's too much," Jensen said softly, running his other hand up and down Jared's abdomen and chest. Jared shifted under him, squeezing around his fingers and arching up with a slight wince.
"It'll be okay," he replied breathily. "Just... keep moving slow and try to find-" Jared's eyes widened as Jensen crooked his fingers a little and thrust in and out. Jensen grinned as Jared's mouth fell open. "Yeah, that."
He reached over on the bed, careful not to move too much, grabbed a condom and ripped it open for Jensen. Jensen got the hint and pulled his fingers out slowly, stifling a groan at the way Jared clenched around his hand. Jared rolled the condom on Jensen's cock easily and lubed him slowly, tugging and pulling at his cock until Jensen was biting back a groan and edging away with a warning look. Jared grinned up at him innocently and spread his legs wider, wrapping his hands around his knees to pull them up further. Jensen swallowed a groan and fought to keep his eyes from rolling back in his head at the sight and positioned himself between Jared's legs.
"Tell me if-," Jensen told Jared gruffly.
"Jensen, just- now," Jared blurted out, his voice thick with want and on the verge of cracking and crumbling. Jensen pressed forward, holding his cock, and pushed against Jared. There was resistance at first but Jared kept urging him on through gritted teeth as he tried to relax. Jensen reached down and started stroking Jared's cock that was only half-hard now and went slow, sinking into Jared easier now that he was past the initial resistance. He pulled out a little and pushed back in further as Jared let out a soft moan. Jensen froze but kept going once Jared shot him a dirty look.
"You okay?" Jensen's voice was strained as he tried to stay slow and even.
"Fine," Jared panted back. "Keep going."
Jensen set a slow, shallow rhythm until Jared started arching up to meet his thrusts carefully, moving his body to find the best angle until Jensen's thrust and his arch met at the right point and Jared felt a white-hot flash go through him and let out a loud gasping, "Oh, Jesus fuck!" Jensen stopped moving immediately at Jared's outburst, worried he hurt him.
"Move!" Jared hissed. "Do that again!"
"Which?" Jensen questioned, resuming his movement while Jared arched up even more. He gasped again as Jensen grazed that spot again and reached out to grab Jensen's hand, holding tight. He stared up at Jensen with determined eyes and arched up into every stroke. Their bodies were slick and slid against each other, hands on chest and arms, sweat dripping and harsh panting. Jared started jerking his own cock as his moans grew louder and Jensen covered his hand with his own, countering the strokes to his own thrusts.
Jensen could hear Jared babbling under him, quiet, breathy nonsense that he couldn't make out but it was driving him crazy. He sped up his thrusts, digging his feet into the bed to get better traction as Jared fucked himself down on Jensen's cock hard. He worried about how sore Jared was going to be when this was over but at the moment he was urging Jensen on with his eyes, his hands and soundless words that fell from his mouth. Jared let one hand fall between them and he reached between them to feel where Jensen's cock was disappearing into his own body. His eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open, letting out a gasping, "Holy fuck" and that's all it took for Jensen to fall apart, jerking erratically into Jared as he came. Jared held him in, quietly, as Jensen blew to pieces and recollected himself, collapsing on Jared's hard body. He eased himself up enough to continue jerking Jared's cock and kissed him hard, biting at his lips and gasping into his mouth, "Come on, Jared. Fucking come."
After, Jared took a chill from the air conditioner blowing cool air over their still-sweaty bodies and groped for the sheet that fell to the floor during their activities while Jensen remained sprawled across his chest. He threw the sheet over their bodies and shifted a little to pull Jensen closer, marvelling at the easy way their bodies fit together- chest to chest, hip to hip, legs sprawled across legs.
Part 5