braindump

[margaretc]

I am so mad at my mom I could spit. I don't even know where to start - she's getting herself kicked out of her apartment at the end of this month, she's made accusations against her recently-deceased brother, and she seems to want my dad to come and rescue her. She won't tell her current boyfriend about her financial situation, but she keeps

Comments

[corax_onyx]

Maybe you're not looking for commentary or analysis, but this seems to an ignorant outsider like more than burn-out or random can't-cope-with-it-ness. A lot of what you describe looks like symptoms of mental illness. If your mother went from stable, successful life to hypochondria, near destitution and erratic, secretive behavior, there may well be a pathology at the root of it all. We just went through a lot of this with my hubby's mother before she died, so maybe I'm overly sensitive to it. However, has your family looked into getting her assessed and possibly into a treatment plan?
I'm so sorry you are going through this difficult time and I'm hoping for the best. You're a strong, capable person and I'm sure you will find a way through this.

[hanareru]

i concur. it sounds like she needs meds and therapy. thankfully, the state has programs for things like that, or at least most states do...

I agree with you

[margaretc]

As it happens, I agree with you. But the logistics of getting a parent evaluated against her will while you're 1000 miles away with a small child and a new job are so daunting that I don't even want to think about them. My brother won't mess with the situation at all, and my aunt is farther away and without financial resources (and less legal authority).

moms and frustration

[lady_richende]

based on what I've read thus far, I have to agree - this *sounds* like more than burn out. Possibly one of the milder forms of schizophrenia. But without a professional assessment, its impossible to say.

You're in a tough situation and I don't envy you that. It sounds like you're faced with the choice of 1) standing back and watching her continued downward spiral or 2) stepping into an extremely stressful intervention scenario with dramatic impact on your immediate family.

Whatever you choose to do or not do - you're going to need positive support, either way. Perhaps even some professional guidance or counsel. Just know that if you need anything, you can always call or email me.

I wish I had an answer

[anonymous]

Hey, this is an old friend and neighbor of your family. I am so, so sorry things aren't going better for your mom. I can't blame you for being angry. I too remember her when she did it all. She was an amazing woman. Have you considered whether or not she has become addicted to pain medication? I've know a few people with faulty coping mechanisms that remind me of how you describe your mom.
I admire your continued involvement and concern--especially when you have your own life. Hang in there. (I'm not trying to keep my identity a secret, but I don't know the protocol for including my name. Just a little behind the trend do to my advancing age. :) )