Comments | margaretc: Broken Heart update

margaretc

Broken Heart update

Jan 30, 2008 17:10

This seems to be of interest to various people, so here's an update on the broken hearted child. It is funny, in one way, but in another way it is really kind of upsetting. Recap - Nate is in love with his daycare teacher, and when he learned that she was married he embarked on a campaign of faking illnesses (or believing that he was ill) that ( Read more... )

nate, parenting

Comments 8

syaldia January 30 2008, 22:15:13 UTC

Wow. Poor Nate. I wish I had something helpful to say, but I never dealt with the emotions myself until I was in high school, and I had at least one adult take me seriously (my brother did, too, enough to give me an insanely hard time about it, but also offer advice).

My sister has had a few boyfriends, though. Maybe I'll ask her.

wakeupmagy January 30 2008, 22:20:51 UTC

I had a "boyfriend" in Kindergarten. Oh was I in love with him. He was only semi-interested in me because he loved Melodie (and who wouldn't). I don't know how much my parents really knew about it, but I was never ridiculed about any relationship. I was told many times that I'd get over it and it wasn't the worst thing in the world, but I was also cuddled and hugged. I guess it was sort of middle ground and I don't know that I've had any major relationship issues.
Poor little fella. My brother had a crush once on his teacher. He got over it pretty quick when he met a certain little girl in his class.

dr_zrfq January 30 2008, 23:28:01 UTC

I admire the approach your parents took. The young ones don't have the experience to know that sometimes relationships end, and new ones come along. The feelings are there... but it isn't always the end of the world if the love is unrequited. A kid just hasn't had time to figure that out.

lady_guenievre January 30 2008, 22:23:50 UTC

I wonder, do people who grew up with their parents (or siblings, whatever) ridiculing their protestations of love have relationship problems? It'd be so easy (and devastating) to laugh and forget the whole thing, but I think that'd just teach him that these feelings, as powerful as they are, just aren't important.I don't think you're overanalyzing it ( ... )

margaretc January 31 2008, 00:57:27 UTC

There's an angle I hadn't considered. I never told my parents ANYTHING after I was about 12. I don't particularly know why, but it would never have occurred to me to talk to them about having relationship problems. Hell, I don't think I usually told them about relationships - I let them figure them out for themselves.

lady_guenievre January 31 2008, 01:20:41 UTC

I think part of that is perhaps a question of personality, there are people I know that WOULD tell their parents that sort of thing, and those who wouldn't, but... Still, I suppose it can't hurt to have a decent foundation, y'know?

lady_guenievre January 31 2008, 01:36:22 UTC

dr_zrfq January 30 2008, 23:35:07 UTC

I would definitely advise you not to laugh at him. Talk him through it with love and support. He can probably process, over a few days, that she was already married when he met her, and sometimes them's the breaks.

It may also be possible for him to understand that, while her marrying him is Not Gonna Happen, there's nothing wrong with him keeping a special place in his heart for her.