For some reason, this gets to me more than seeing her dead

[mafdet]

I'm doing some home clearing, lawyer-calling, financial-planner calling, and so on today. For some reason, clearing out her cabinets hit me more than anything before. Like in, "Oh god, she's REALLY and TRULY dead." Maybe I somehow superstitiously thought, if I left all her stuff, she'd come back

Comments

[mafdet]

*hugs* Thank you, I needed to hear that.

[mafdet]

It IS intimate, going through someone's stuff. Especially someone as walled-in as my mom. So there is all this stuff, and I have to go through it, and it triggers the memories. She never threw anything out EVER. I found a 25-year-old bottle of Karo syrup (remember that stuff?).

I am having my dad live with me, not just because of altruism (though I'll get to that in a minute), it's because I can live rent-free while my business gets off the ground. Altruistically, I am the only family Dad has. He had an estranged brother who died and at least one of Uncle J's kids are dead, too. So, basically, no-one. I AM having aides come in, believe me, I can't do it all myself.

I think the rug is a lost cause. Dammit. I know that's part of the price you pay for having pets. I sure do hope the CARPET in my soon-to-be room isn't also a lost cause. I don't want to be smelling dog urine all the time and I KNOW Maddie doesn't.

[mafdet]

(Edited - disregard previous reply which I couldn't delete for some reason). Human waste is a bear to remove, from what I hear. It does smell better in there now that I picked the rug up and put it out in the garage where it can stink things up there.

[mafdet]

*hugs* and *hugs* and *hugs* to you, dear Puma. We makeup-loving cat ladies have to stick together! I wish you were here, too.

[valis2]

We had such issues with my grandmother and her dementia at first. My mom was convinced that she was only slipping "a little," and it took some time before she could admit that Grandma was really losing it

[mafdet]

Dad has enough residual brain power (he was super smart when he was young) to snow people into thinking he's still pretty with-it. Trouble is, he's not. I mean, he's not drooling and vacant, but he's really not up to par. He can carry on a conversation, but I don't think he's up to major decisions.

Wonderful Neurologist has referred us to a memory class and memory specialist. I know Dad will kick and scream the whole way, but maybe he will listen to the neurologist. SIgh.

Thank you for the compliments. *hugs back*

[h311ybean]

I agree with everyone who has said that you are not a bad daughter. I'm no expert, but I know that the slightest fall or respiratory illness can lead to more serious stuff in the elderly, and you are taking the necessary precautions to prevent that.

Sorry to hear about the rug :-/ and *HUGS and squirrels* to you! <3

[mafdet]

The suckiest thing is that Dad is a) convinced that he's more lucid than he is and b) very, VERY charming. So he snows everyone, and *I* am the bad guy (or gal).

*Hugs* and a Christmas Squirrel right back to you!