For some reason, this gets to me more than seeing her dead
I'm doing some home clearing, lawyer-calling, financial-planner calling, and so on today. For some reason, clearing out her cabinets hit me more than anything before. Like in, "Oh god, she's REALLY and TRULY dead." Maybe I somehow superstitiously thought, if I left all her stuff, she'd come back.
Funny what the lawyer said - no-one is LEGALLY dead until their notarized death certificates come back.
Dad is not being a help. I know he's grieving, so I'm making HUGE allowances. It's just that - all I hear from him is COME HOME NOW HOME NOW HOME HOME NOW NOW! (He lives in a board and care home) I want to consult with his primary care doctor and neurologist, make sure the house doesn't have slip hazards, maybe get some grab bars, and get everything ready. He thinks I'm being obstructive. I assure him I'm not. I'm trying to figure out what else I can do to assure him I'm acting in good faith and not going to leave him in the board and care home while I spend all his money on rent-boys and blow.
Worse is, he thinks that mentally he's just ducky. His wonderful neurologist has referred us (as a team) to a Memory Care class and counseling. Hoo boy, this is going to go over like the proverbial lead balloon. Maybe if his actual DOCTOR - a very stern little Armenian woman - tells him he needs it he'll cave.
I'm not a bad daughter, I tell myself. I just want to make sure the home is safe and clean (it needs a professional cleaning, and Merry Maids come in to look at it next week). It's just that dad a) thinks nothing is wrong with him and b) is as fixated as a bloodhound on HOME HOME HOME. I can't blame him, and I do want him to come home, but not without aides and safety in place.
And on a final note: In my old room, where I plan to move in, is my great-grandmother's (or some relative's) braided rag rug. Nice heirloom, right? Well, Mom let her incontinent dog (if not a COUPLE of the dogs she's had) use it for a toilet!!!! RAWR!!!! I hope it's safe to thoroughly shampoo an ancient rag rug or I will have to throw it out. What a pity. :(
Funny what the lawyer said - no-one is LEGALLY dead until their notarized death certificates come back.
Dad is not being a help. I know he's grieving, so I'm making HUGE allowances. It's just that - all I hear from him is COME HOME NOW HOME NOW HOME HOME NOW NOW! (He lives in a board and care home) I want to consult with his primary care doctor and neurologist, make sure the house doesn't have slip hazards, maybe get some grab bars, and get everything ready. He thinks I'm being obstructive. I assure him I'm not. I'm trying to figure out what else I can do to assure him I'm acting in good faith and not going to leave him in the board and care home while I spend all his money on rent-boys and blow.
Worse is, he thinks that mentally he's just ducky. His wonderful neurologist has referred us (as a team) to a Memory Care class and counseling. Hoo boy, this is going to go over like the proverbial lead balloon. Maybe if his actual DOCTOR - a very stern little Armenian woman - tells him he needs it he'll cave.
I'm not a bad daughter, I tell myself. I just want to make sure the home is safe and clean (it needs a professional cleaning, and Merry Maids come in to look at it next week). It's just that dad a) thinks nothing is wrong with him and b) is as fixated as a bloodhound on HOME HOME HOME. I can't blame him, and I do want him to come home, but not without aides and safety in place.
And on a final note: In my old room, where I plan to move in, is my great-grandmother's (or some relative's) braided rag rug. Nice heirloom, right? Well, Mom let her incontinent dog (if not a COUPLE of the dogs she's had) use it for a toilet!!!! RAWR!!!! I hope it's safe to thoroughly shampoo an ancient rag rug or I will have to throw it out. What a pity. :(