Braaaain! (Also: Mac complains about something that's actually worth complaining about, for once)

[m_mcgregor]

If I haven't mentioned it, I'm really not a big fan of my brain. We're coming close to about two years now of me basically living in a pain-coma, and even before then it was vastly disrupting my life. It is incredibly, incredibly frustrating. Most of the time when I'm not posting, it's because I feel absolutely miserable and am incapable of doing

Comments

[arkeus]

While i never had migraine as such, i did have to take meds for quite a while- and i can agree that there is nothing i have ever hated/be scared of more than this numb lethargy where you are completely unable to think, and when you try to explain it to your doctor he'd just tell you "well, let's try it for another three months and if it doesn't get better we'll switch to something else".

[m_mcgregor]

Yeah, it's definitely not fun. What's particularly upsetting is every time we finally figure out one medication doesn't work, that means it's going to be another few months of trying the next one.

[hjcallipygian]

I knew that you had the really bad migraines, but I didn't realize that it had gotten quite so bad lately. That sucks donkey balls.

[m_mcgregor]

It does indeed.

[learnedhand_dj]

Sorry to hear that this has gone on for so long. I presume that your doctors have tried to limit some of the causes of some types of migraines, like light-sensitivity, etc., if they're already to the trial-and-error med stage. It sounds kind of like bipolar disorder: there are a bunch of medications out there that seem to help, but each medicine works differently for each person, so trial-and-error is necessary to find one that works. Even then, over time, the ones that work become less effective, requiring a new round of trial-and-error. My dad went through that for the last 20 years or so of his life, and it wasn't much fun for any of us.

Anyway, I hope that they find the med that ends up working for you, with limited side effects. Soon.

[m_mcgregor]

Yeah it seems when you start messing around with how your brain works, things get a bit dicey, and there's rarely a clear cut solution that solves all your problems instantly.

[anonymous]

Mac, I'm a frequent lurker on your blog. And a longtime admirer of your fanfics.

I've got a lot of sympathy for you. Migraines & head-related health issues are a bitch.

I'm currently in my 30s and I've had severe migraines and neck pain nearly every day since I was eight, and have been on disability because of it for the past several years.

I know what you're going through with the endless parade of drugs that don't really help, and cause crappy side-effects, and doctors who don't seem to realize how bad and debilitating the pain really is. It truly doth sucketh the big one.

As impossible as it may seem, try not to get too discouraged. There are people out there who know what you're going through. Keep your chin up, and don't feel bad about the occasional stress-relieving rant. I find that it helps.

Jeepy wishes,
jaymanus

[m_mcgregor]

Thanks, I really appreciate that, especially from someone who's going through something so similar. I try not to get too discouraged, but what's really gotten to me in the last few weeks is that I just stopped taking this one medication, which immediately caused two things to happen.

1. I was suddenly able to write again, think again, and basically not feel sedated all the time.

2. Instead of getting migraines 3-4 times a week, I now get them every single day.

So I'm in this horrible Sophie's Choice situation of choosing between less pain and being able to write, and it's driving me a little nuts.

Then again, I also just had a really, really bad night where the meds I take to stop a migraine when they actually happen really stopped working properly, so I'm a bit crankier and more discouraged than usual.

Thanks for the kind words, and I hope things get better for the both of us. I have confidence that medical science will get this shit figured out sooner or later. Just hope it's sooner rather than later.

[sroni]

Oh, God, I can relate to the "constant debilitating migraines". The last I tried, there wasn't really any medicine I could take (and people kept trying to give me meds that I'm allergic to), so for the most part, my way of dealing with it has been "complain and try to get through them". Oh, and let's not forget "drag myself along the floor because I can't stand up straight". That's been part of the "try to get through them".

I wouldn't wish these on anyone. Couple the pain with foggy brain, and I am so very sorry, and I'm sending good thoughts your way, crossing my fingers, and praying hard.

I can send chocolate chip cookies?

[m_mcgregor]

My favorite migraine side effects are massive blind-spots, aphasia, vertigo, and the ever popular numbness on the entire right side of your body that makes you think you're having a stroke. And that's not even getting into medication side effects, or of course the impossible pain.

Yeah, migraines suck, and I once again apologize for ever even thinking otherwise when I was younger (especially since I've been getting them pretty much since I was four years old, I just didn't get them very often and didn't recognize them for what they were.)

It really sucks that you can't take anything for them. I lacked insurance for about a year there when they first started getting bad, so I did mostly what you do: grit my teeth and just try and get through them, but eventually they became too bad to even do that. I can't imagine trying to get through them without any meds these days. I think I'd have to go to the hospital if that was the case.

I hope they find something that can help you, because I'm having a hard enough time even with the meds.