Self-esteem got you down??
Here yee! Here yee! Are you a person with major insecurities, low self-esteem and have just that little lack of confidence?
Read on.
Back in my highschool days, my mates and I used to play a game. No, not SAW you losers, but a game where we rated a person based on their appearance. Petty, I know. But it made those long and sometimes miserable train and bus trips memorable and entertaining.
This is a classic example of our judgemental society. We played the game like this;
Me: He's tall. 2 points for that. - 2
Friend: One eye is bigger than the other. Deduct a point. - 1
Me: Good taste in clothes. Add 2 points. - 3
Friend: Front teeth are a little crooked. Deduct a point. - 2
Me: He's got cool earphones on. That's cool. Add a point. - 3
Friend: Ew. He's got tomato sauce on this shirt. Deduct a point. - 2
Me: His face and hair are clean shaven though. Add 2 points. - 4
Friend: He's got nice blue eyes. Add a point. - 5
Me: Oh god, he's smoking. Deduct a point. - 4
TOTAL points: 4/10
For an otherwise nice and cool looking guy, in the end we ended up rating him a 4. And you wonder why so many people have clear self-esteem issues and major insecurities.
SPOILER ALERT!
When my boyfriend and I were watching"She's Out Of My League", one particular scene stood out for me and tugged at my heart.
One of the guys in the movie, Stainer (T.J. Miller), is the instigator of the rating game in which he convinces Kirk (Jay Baruchel) that he is a plain and ordinary "5" compared to the girl he was seeing, Molly (Alice Eve), who was clearly a "10".
Because of the rating game and how Kirk sees himself compared to Molly, they break up. Stainer expected this outcome, but suddenly realises his mistake when Kirk returns to his ex-flame Marnie (Lindsay Sloane) because they were just "meant to be together".
Panic stricken, Stainer runs to his ex-girlfriend Tina Jordan and asks her why it never worked out for them and why he wasn't good enough for her.
Tina Jordan's reply to him was, "You were plenty good enough for me, Stainer... The problem was, you were just never good enough for you."
That one sentence really woke me up.
I remember writing a blog about loving yourself first before you can love others. I guess this comes into play again.
Sadly, I do have self-esteem issues. They're not as obvious to me now as they were before, but sometimes it just pops up out of nowhere and I end up feeling a little bit depressed.
Thoughts of "Why is he with me when he could be with someone much smarter and prettier?" or "How can he love someone as emotionally broken as I am?"
And then I slap myself afterwards for even thinking this. I may sometimes think that I'm not good enough for him, but I know that he feels that I'm more than good enough for him. It's just my own stupid issues that make me think otherwise. He doesn't have a problem with me, I'm the one who has a problem with myself.
When you start accepting that there is no other person like you, when you start realising that YOU make another person happy and not anybody else, when you finally grab hold of your goals and fulfill your dreams instead of being a doormat... Then you have no reason not to feel good enough.
Because everyone is good enough, you just have to accept it yourself and see how gorgeous you are and how happy the people are around you. I mean, if you were a sour puss, I'm sure you won't feel good enough for anyone at all because you're just so sour.
Do you understand what I mean?
People can overcome their own self-esteem issues. You just have to believe in yourself, and KNOW that there is NOBODY else in the whole universe that is 100% like you. You are your own person, and if another person falls in love with YOU, don't ever think that you're never good enough for them, because it's obvious that the other person sees you as good enough for them.
That's why they're with you in the first place.
To spoil the movie for you even more, Kirk realises that he really does want to be with Molly. Stainer convinces him that he is a 10, because of the qualities that Kirk has even though it's those that he can't see. Kirk explains to Molly that she inspires him to do the best that he can do, and he wants to make her happy. Molly tells Kirk that he is clumsy, uncoordinated and awkward but she doesn't care because that's the person who she fell in-love with.
They get back together, obviously =)
It's an awesome movie with an awesome moral.
To not judge a book by it's cover, to have confidence and believe in yourself, to realise that if you're good enough for you then everything else is possible.
Signing out,
M.