20 puffs of smoke.

[lullabyoflondon]

Oh, for fuck's sake, Eden--

Right. Listen up, you lot.

I hope you all know that I would be a bloody awful Warden.

For one thing, I'm usually on the other side of the law. Putting me in charge of the coppers here would be a terrible conflict of interest. Not to get into any great detail here, but they don't call me Conjob just 'cos of my name,

Comments

[therippling]

Good.

[lullabyoflondon]

At least someone understands, even it's a crazy monster woman.

[therippling]

I'm sorry...

What was that?

[lullabyoflondon]

...Nothing. I'm sure you'd make a brilliant Warden.

[Audio]

[kisaraginights]

Great explanation, dude. Just one problem.

You're saner than the rest of the applicants.

[Audio]

[lullabyoflondon]

Oh, come on--!

Sanity's a fucking hindrance in that job!

[Audio]

[kisaraginights]

Dude, we got a candidate who wants us to sacrifice souls to his cronies, a candidate who's threatening to bite us to death if we wake him up from his nap, and a fucking vampire!

The crazy is NOT cool!

[Audio]

[lullabyoflondon]

The vampire doesn't seem that bad. She's got fantastic knockers.

[bitingnightmare]

Is this reverse psychology?

[lullabyoflondon]

I thought about trying that. Then I realised that most of the City's too stupid for it to work on them. Better to just lay it all out honest-like, yeah? As much as it pains me to do so.

[bitingnightmare]

Pains you my ass, John.

[lullabyoflondon]

Nah, your ass can't be that bad or my future self wouldn't have touched it.

[so_very_greedy]

Hell, I do all that. Look at me, I'm running. You're basically me, but human.

[lullabyoflondon]

Yeah, but at least you've got some terrible homunculus powers to keep the rabble in line.

I'd ask why you're running for public office if you enjoy vice so much, since it does cut into your time for that sort of thing, but politics does seem to attract people like that. They're just usually not honest about it.

[so_very_greedy]

For the same reason I never lie and don't hit women. It's my perogative...Plus it pays a hell of a lot of money and I get to bust heads.

[lullabyoflondon]

Honesty, eh? You'll never make it as a politician, mate.

//from somewhere behind him//

[eiremagic]

Oy, wanker.

Time tae talk.

//from somewhere behind him//

[lullabyoflondon]

[Stumbles into the wall of the alley he was in, nearly drops his cigarette.]

Fucking hell, you don't give a bloke warning, do you?

//from somewhere behind him//

[eiremagic]

If I gave ye warnin' ye'd take off so I do wha' I hafta, mate.

//from somewhere behind him//

[lullabyoflondon]

...That's not necessarily true.