[fic]: I wish I would never fall like this again(2/3)
PART 1.
Jin was seriously trembling over his body. He couldn't stop crying. He felt pathetic and destroyed. His tears were already ruin some of the words on the letter, making it blurry with sadness. Jin took a breath and read back at where he stopped just now.
Real family, it supposed to be wonderful like that,
And I’m grateful that I could feel the warmness of a real family,
But at that time, I’m cold enough to stand my heart,
I would not let you getting closer to my world,
But somehow..
We’re making memories…
Going Out
“Kame, did you have time tomorrow? Let’s go out!”
“Did you just propose me to going out with you or what, bakanishi?”
“Like hell I’m going to..”
‘Kame seems..hurt a little’
“I mean, let’s have fun tomorrow!”
This time, Kame’s face turns to a cheerful one.
“Of course I’m going!”
Jin was walking towards Kame that had seems to waiting him for a century, maybe not century but still looked pissed off. Jin just smirked when Kame sent him a death glare.
“Wow, you’re hot in that outfit, Kame. Are you trying to seduce me or what?”
Jin laughed looking at how great Kame’s cloth instead of himself. Kame wore a stripped tight jean, t-shirt with some stripes on it, with a black leather jacket while Jin himself just wore a loosen jean and black t-shirt with some words on it.
“Mou..Jin, you’re mean..”
Kame pouted with a very blushed face which Jin find it is more interesting to tease him a little more.
“I’m just saying that you’re hot, like you want to go out in a date with the World’s Miss Universe. I’m sorry that you’re stuck with me now”
Jin put him arm around Kame’s shoulder while grinning at the smaller guy.
“Yeah, I’m going to date her now if you’re don’t stop teasing me”
“Well, I’ll be glad if you’re generous enough to introduce me to some of her friends after that”
Jin laughed, before he noticing that Kame was not comfortable with that joke.
“Owh, I’m sorry. Okay, the main point is you’re hot today, dude!”
Kame chuckled, making Jin relieved that he was not hurting that guy’s feeling.
“Thank you”
Kame smile, a soft smile. Jin raised an eyebrow, before his mouth let out a ridiculous suggestion which he doesn’t think that he’ll regret it later.
“Since you’re like going to a date, just consider that this is a date with the most gorgeous guy ever”
Kame elbowed him.
“Do you think I’m that desperate?”
Jin just laughed while dragging Kame into the cinema. They watch a horror movie which Kame end up puke in the dustbin for the grossness of the ghost. Jin rested his back on the wall, looking at the flushed guy, sighing.
“You better tell me this before we’re going in”
“No..wekk..way…hahh”
Jin sighed once again; looking at his watch wondering how long wills he waited.
Then, they went to the amusement park, searching for a nice girl that worth for them to watch.
“Hey, Jin. Looked at that girl over there. Isn’t she cute?”
Jin looked at the place which Kame pointed.
“Yeah, kind of cute. Wanna try her?”
Kame pouted, looking at Jin’s reaction.
“Nope, I don’t interest”
“Huh? Just now you’re saying that she is cute?”
Kame sighed. Suddenly, Jin tapped his shoulder.
“What about a bet? You’re going there and asking her number and I’m willing to do a thing for you whatever it is, if you don’t get it, treat me on dinner after this”
Jin grinned, challenging. He thought that maybe Yamapi’s virus has spread into his body cells.
Kame smirked, accepting the challenge when he stood and make his way to the girl. Jin just watching him, laughing. But seeing Kame walked towards him with a victorious smile plastered on his face making Jin consider back his bet.
‘Okay, now maybe I’m gonna think of having myself drown in the river for real’
“Okay, what?”
Kame laughed evilly.
“Who said you dare challenge me on something that I would surely win”
Jin pouted. He totally forgot that half of his own Kurogin high school wants Kame.
“Okay, what do you want? I remind you, it just one thing..”
Kame paused for a while, thinking once before laughing out loud.
“Hey, I’m dead serious asking you and you’re giving me a laugh. I bet you must thinking on making me walking naked in our back home right.”
“Sorry, dude but did you always betting wrong?”
Kame laughed again.
“Okay,whatever. I am your Jinny that would grant you a wish now so please don’t laugh at me master Kazuya”
“Punishment for looking down on me, I did want to embarrassed you but not by having you walking naked, dude. Maybe this one….”
Kame whispered something into Jin’s ears seconds before Jin’s eyes getting bigger in disbelieve.
“Wow, you’re really a bad guy aren’t you? It’s no fair..”
“Welcome to my hell, Jin..”
Jin sighed, before inhale a deep breath.
“Gosh, I’m embarrassed to death!”
“You’re not even do it yet”
“How could you, Kame…”
Jin couldn’t describe how he more prefer to drown in the river that this. Looking at the evil grins on the other face, Jin sighed. Jin put the scarf he had on Kame’s head, covering the others face from anyone that could see him. Some of the people around him started to pay attention to his action.
‘I’m gonna dig a hole and bury myself in it’
He closed his eyes before leaning to the others face, placing a soft kiss on Kame’s lips. It feels so soft and sweet. He could sense that Kame was smiling, but he knew that next is the worst part of his punishment. Kame pushed him slowly, with that scarf still on his head, before he running away from Jin only to disappear from everyone’s sight. Jin looked at everyone around him that started to whisper between themselves that he knows very well about how gross a guy be a gay and just being rejected, with some pity and pathetic plastered in their face.
“What?!”
‘I’m really gonna kill that turtle after this!’
Jin found Kame hiding behind the bushes, laughing like he had seen the most funniest thing ever in the world. Jin want to be angry, he really want to but seeing how happy laugh Kame was in, he couldn't.
“You know, I felt like an idiot now”
“You’re really are one, bakanishi!”
“Hey, stop laughing or I’ll ripped of your cloth so that you walk naked back home”
“And they would think that you rape me after being rejected”
Kame just couldn’t stop laughing and a while after Jin was laughing with him too. They both laughed like a double idiot behind the bushes.
“Okay, stop it! We’re laughing like shit. Now treat me something delicious for all the energy I used to kiss you just now”
“Well, I don’t think it cost much energy at all”
Jin laughed before smacking Kame’s head.
“I’m almost praying for the ground to eat me, you know. It was so embarrassed!”
“Well, can a set of sushi make it?”
“I’m so in! But please say that it just not a set..”
“You’re crazy eating monster!”
“My bad for that..”
It was one of the memories that I would never forget,
When you’re making fun of me that time..
I still doesn't forget how soft your lips that day..
Even though I'm pissed off, but seeing you happy makes me forgive that..
I am very happy for every moment I’m with you,
The things that I treasure for my entire life,
Every single second with you,
I wonder how can we become so close when we’re so different.
Yeah, we’re so different…
I’m cold, you’re emotional..
And sometimes..I could see your jealousy…
Jealousy
“Again? Jin, are you a bakanishi for real?”
“Shut up! I never used to this kind of game, how could I know how to win it!”
A guy came approached them. It was Nishikado Ryo, Jin’s best friend. Ryo hugged Jin from behind, making Kame’s face change within second.
“Hoi, what are you? A slut?”
“Bakanishi, I want to sleep”
“And my back won’t turn into a pillow no matter how much spells you put in it, bakaRyo! Get off, you’re heavy..”
“Jinny Jin, free tonight? Let’s have fun at the club I just found before. It’s hot there, you know”
“Nope, Jin would accompany me tonight. My whole family gone off somewhere”
Ryo laughed, looking at the pouted Kame that suddenly disturbing his conversation.
“What are you, Jin? A babysitter? If that the case, just joined us, Kame”
“Go to hell, Ryo. I’m not a babysitter and I’m pass tonight. Ask Pi to come with you and go reserve some hot chicks for me”
“Then, where are you?”
Jin looked at Kame’s very likely to tearing face, a while before proceeding.
“I have some business to deal with”
Ryo sighed.
“Dude, you better joined me next time or I’ll chop your head off”
“Fuck you, Ryo! You better run save your ass now or that lovely girly boy of yours would never got a fuck ever again”
Ryo laughed before releasing Jin from his arms.
“Better dare, Jin.. Owh, Kame take good care of yourself from this bastard. Got to go,
chiao!”
Ryo disappear from the door leaving the two guys alone.
“Ermm,Jin.. So, where are you tonight?”
Jin smiled at Kame.
“I’ll be with you of course”
I remembered..
That time, without I even realize..
You have become the person that I care the most ever in my life..
That time, I want to be the most important person to you,
As you are the most important person to me..
That time, I swear..
I want to be a guy that can protect you,
Protection
“Is this fine with me?”
Jin showed himself in Kame’s pajama. Kame laughed at the weird creature in front of him.
Jin sighed.
“If I know I would looked like a clown, I would come with a bundle of shirts”
“What about a movie?”
“Sure..”
They’re watching the Gokusen movie which they always argue on how can they looked very alike with the Yabuki Hayato and Odagiri Ryu, when the phone ringing. Kame stood, making his steps to answer the phone while Jin still has his eyes on the
television. Suddenly, the sound of something fell on the floor caught Jin attention. He turned around only to see the sight of Kame kneeling on the floor, sobbing hard.
“Kazu, why?”
Jin gets closer to Kame when the smaller guy throw himself in Jin’s arm, hugging him tight while still crying as if his world has end. Jin stroke softly Kame’s back, wanting to
calm the others but it seems like giving Kame more energy to cry. He cried louder and louder.
“Shhh…Kazu..Whatever happen, be strong okay.. Don’t cried”
“Yuichiro had an accident..and…and…”
His sobbing doesn’t allow Kame to continue his sentence. He was out of breath.
“Shhh, it’s okay. You still have me. Kazu, be strong. You must be strong!”
Jin was trying his best to comfort Kame when he realized that Kame’s arm encircled his neck.
“Kazu?”
Jin was shocked when Kame kissed him fully in the lips. Jin knew, it was a desperate kiss. A really hurt and desperate kiss from a fragile guy. Kame kept kissing him over and over again, making his own lips wet with the kisses but Jin doesn’t pushed Kame away. He just letting Kame does whatever he wants that time. The image of very fragile Kame making him wants to protect the guy from every pain he had, no matter what he must do. Kame pulled him closer, deepened the kiss, with the tears running down his cheek non-stop. Kame’s hand started to slip inside the pajama that Jin was wearing, touching every part of Jin’s body that he could reached. Jin closed his eyes; respond to the kiss, when he realizes what Kame wants to be healed.
That night, I want to protect you from that suffer,
No matter what I need to do,
I just want to make that pain lost from your face..
Even if I doubted if I should stop it,
You pulled me closer,
Along with the tears of hurt and broken losing someone you loved..
And I want to make that pain disappear…
Without I even know..
That time, you have broken my wall...
Truth Behind The Wall
Words describing my world, my world where I am the only one who exists.
Darkness, desperation, loneliness, suffers, broken…
I am alone, from the beginning. And yet, you come to enter my cruel world, and I know that I should never let you step into it. I swear that I would never let you know this painful life I have gone through.
I kept you outside the world, never letting you knew me more than you already was. But in the end, I failed. You have breaking the wall with your kindness. You make me felt that I am not alone. You have change me to a person that far different from the old me. You’re making me to wish for a better future with you by my side..
I’m letting you know about my life more that you should. How desperate I am when seeing your pitiful face that time. I have a family that I felt like I never have one. I know nothing about my dead mother except that she had once living to give birth to me. My father, full of expectation on me, was pushing the pressure as if I am the next world president. Hoping for me to do what I don’t want to do. Giving me all those pressure on my shoulder, what was that for?
I felt like a living puppet, stuck in the world that I could never against, and yet I rebelled. Involving myself in drugs and always trying to kill myself with the motorcycle race. And I am almost dying of racing, opening my eyes in the white bed, knowing that I am alone there kills my heart.
I have a brother, and I share a room with him. But isn’t it painful for me when having someone that close to you, yet the distance was so far. We are not talking to each other. Silent, that was all I can hear. Even if I’m trying to talk with him, he would drive me into a huge fight with the death glares in his eyes. Did he hate me so much? What did I do?
From the beginning, no one ever care about me, I never receive even a hug from a thing called family. I doesn’t have a place to share my weakness, that was the time I closed my heart from anyone, I build a wall that kept my darkness from anyone. Even if I laugh outside, inside the wall, I am bleeding. But knowing you, a cheerful guy named Kamenashi Kazuya making me having hopes that I can felt the feeling of being loved by someone. Your existence in my life making me realize that my life is a very pitiful life and yet, you didn’t threw me away..
Your kindness have letting you go through me,
Discovering the real me..
For the first time,
I’m opening up myself for you..
For the first time,
I’m letting myself to trust you..
For the first time,
I’m having a person that I could rely on..
And I’m changing myself because of you..
That time, you swear to me,
That you would be by my side forever.
.
.PART 3 l