Jaejoong's Lyric | Verse 17/24
Jaejoong's Lyric
Author: love_cassiopeia
Summary: Jaejoong - a poor yet talented musician with an impossible dream. Yunho - An SM producer who could make Jaejoong’s unreal dream come true. They needed each other to succeed, and they were delighted they had met that magical day. But, will love get in the way of dreams? Will the two be captured by love rather than work? Only his song will tell.
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own the five members, I’m simply borrowing them.
Warnings: Yaoi/slash, language, some angst
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairings: YunJae | YunChun (2U/To-You)
Verse 17: Fast-forward
Jaejoong's Lyric
Verse 17: Fast-forward
Happy Birthday.
You just want to see him, so badly.
“Hey Jaejoong, how long are you planning on staying?”
Distracting you from your knotted trail of thoughts, you turn to the direction of the raspy voice; curious of whom it belonged to. Your sharp eyes soon fell upon your two allies (friends, they wanted you to call them). They stood casually, leaning on the door of the taxi carelessly as they continued piling up their luggage into the car’s trunk.
“The longest would be five days,” you clear up, putting the last of Junsu’s luggage inside the trunk. “This way, we won’t be interfering with your busy tour schedule.”
Junsu nods, sliding into the back seat of the vehicle comfortably. “But you know that we’ll have to immediately come back to Seoul and continue our training, right?” Changmin appears from behind his pile of luggage, holding a small leather wallet. “Your debut is coming up in a hurry, and we wouldn’t want to waste another precious moment preparing for it.”
“I know, I know,” you tell Changmin, who got into the passenger’s seat of the ride and handed the taxi driver some paper bills. You couldn’t argue with him. Yunho was the most valuable thing in the world to you, but that didn’t mean your debut didn’t come close enough to win second place on your list. There were only two months left until the big date, and it bothered you continuously to think how little time you had left to prepare.
But you don’t want to think about that now. Today was your birthday, and you deserved to be with one you truly loved: Yunho.
Since Seoul was fairly close to Incheon, you, along with Changmin and Junsu, decided to rent a private taxi for transportation instead of taking the local train like everyone else did. It certainly saved a lot of time and effort-not only that, but it also assisted the three of you in your escape plan from the shrilling screams of Junsu’s rather large fan base.
It wasn’t difficult for you to convince the other two to come along on your little “surprise visit.” In fact, they strongly insisted you would go. ‘Leave your vocal training for a while, enjoy yourself,’ was an example of the things they said to convince you. Changmin and Junsu were completely aware of the obvious relationship between you and Yunho, and they understood what it meant for you to spend a special day like today with him. Changmin promised that he would offer you access into the YG 10th anniversary party, and Junsu vowed that he would polish off your nearly-perfect surprise plan. Everything was going so perfectly, you could hardly wait.
I just can’t wait to see him again.
Once the three of you were situated and comfortable in your temporary seats, the driver inserted the key into the ignition and started the engine. Within moments, the car arrived on the highway, following one of the shortest routes to your destination. You couldn’t believe yourself: you were going to see him again, and hopefully, you will be able to stay with him for a reasonable amount of time before you return to Seoul to continue your tedious vocal training.
“Jaejoong,” Changmin calls your name from the front seat, “I’m curious… how do you plan to stay in touch with Yunho after you debut?”
You shrug, unable to find the right answer to reply his question with. “We’ll find some way to make it work,” You confirm, a little doubtfully. “I know Yunho. He and I will definitely work something out, just like we are doing now.” You give Changmin a rather large grin. “You don’t need to worry, we’ll be perfectly fine.”
He nods, returning his view to the front of the vehicle. Though his words were gone, you could still hear Changmin’s question linger uncontrollably throughout your mind, haunting you. But you needn’t worry about that now; not now when it’s your birthday, and when you need to enjoy yourself.
Happy Birthday.
It was exactly eight o’ clock when you arrived at the Sheraton Hotel-otherwise known as the location for the YG entertainment 10th anniversary party. Huge numbers of cars were packed into the parking lot, filling in every space available. There would be singers, songwriters, and producers from all over Korea in attendance, and it was almost a bit menacing to know that you would be meeting all of them tonight.
You roll your eyes; you don’t care. What you truly wanted to do was to spend the day in Seoul with Jaejoong. It was refreshing to be out of Seoul in four years, but you couldn’t help but feel nostalgic as you remembered what you had left behind. You left everything there: your CDs, your books- everything. And let’s not forget, you left your love there.
Your moments with Yoochun were giving you fake thrills. You detested him for it, but you also knew you couldn’t run away from it. Without Jaejoong here, you needed Yoochun. You couldn’t live without him.
Stepping out of the car, you take time to observe your surroundings. Men in suits and bowties strutted elegantly while their companions wore elaborate dresses and hung onto their arms romantically. Everybody was so excessively poised and so elegant, you felt a bit out of place.
Your feet take you across the parking lot and into the hotel lobby. Guests of all ages filled the room; their colourful clothing bringing out the delicate pastel colours of the dim chandeliers. It was obvious that this was not a casual event, in reality; it almost appeared as if it was one of the most crucial to the music industry. If you missed out on such an essential event, who knows what could’ve happened to your career?
You anticipated that this party would end fast. Fast enough to leave you enough time at the end of the day where you could return to your hotel to give Jaejoong a call. You needed to talk to him in private. It was his birthday; you needed to hear his voice.
Your intricate set of plans was interrupted by a simple tap on the shoulder. Turning around, your eyes met once more with Yoochun’s, as well as with his loyal assistant, DongHae’s.
“Hey Yunho.” He remarks casually as he places a colourful cocktail in your hands. You eye him curiously, observing every inch of him carefully. His tall frame was covered head to toe with an expensive looking ebony black suit. His visage was dimly lighted by his olive eyes that appeared to reflect the light off the chandeliers. He carried a smile upon his parted lips, their rosy colour in contrast with his peachy skin. Out of all the things you wanted to do in your life, you want to embrace him right now, and tell everyone in the world that he is yours.
But it wasn’t as easy as you expected. Another part of you wants to flee; to run as far away from him as possible. With these two contradicting thoughts in your mind, your conscious is slowly fading away, taking your sanity along with it.
Taking a sip of the welcoming cocktail, you put aside all of your doubt, freezing the moment to truly enjoy yourself for the night. After a few more drinks, your vision became distorted, turning the whole lobby into one messy blur.
Well, everything else was blurry, except for one thing.
…He wasn’t blurry. He was the only thing you could see clearly.
His hands slid by yours a couple of times, caressing your skin and giving your nerves just what they desired. His glares of seduction brought you back to high school, where you spent every waking second together with him. With everything around you blurry and hazy, it was hard for you to tell what was really there and what wasn’t.
“Yunho,” his voice calls out your name, its sound tingling in your ears, “I need to talk to you.” He remarks seriously. “Privately” He adds as he sees a frown appear on your face.
“What is it?” You ask, your nerves completely numb. He doesn’t answer you; instead, he leads you away with his hands into the outdoor garden. It was one of the most beautiful gardens you’ve ever seen, with lush, beautiful emerald bushes, and colourful, vivid roses and daisies.
But you want to run away. You want to tell him to leave you alone, that you love someone else, and that it’s not him. But how could you? Could you lie to him?
“Yunho,” he repeats your name, his eyes carrying a hint of uncertainty and doubt. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes, his glare meeting up with your own. “I know how difficult it was for you that night, and I’m sorry for pushing you into it. It’s not something I should’ve done, but…” he pauses to sigh. “But Yunho, it’s been a long time for me. I’ve worked day and night while I was in the U.S., and I’ve completely forgotten what love has felt like.”
You don’t know where he is going with his confessions, so you can only nod, taking in his sentence word by word. “No, don’t be sorry,” you disagree when you finally understand his motives. “I’m the one that’s wrong. I’m the one who could’ve said no to you. But…” you trail off, “I chose not to. I couldn’t say no. It was just impossible for me to do it.”
He lifts his eyebrow in surprise, curious of what you had in mind. “Why?” he asks you, his voice trembling as he pleaded you for an answer. “Why not?”
You can only tell him the truth, anticipating that your reply could offer him a desirable answer. “Because Yoochun…” you pause, unsure of your actions. “I’m in love with you.” You admit shamefully after some seconds of hesitation. “It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way, but I’m falling in love with you, again,” you declare as you put aside all of your doubts so you could untie the package of emotions that was hidden deeply within you. It wasn’t time for any lies. Not now.
Your handsome lover gasps silently, unable to believe his ears as the words fell from your lips. “Yunho, it is supposed to be like this,” he corrects as he firmly holds your hand in his. “We are supposed to be in love. It’s been our destiny since high school,” he discloses genuinely. “We complete each other, we-“
“But you’re not getting the point!” you yell, interrupting his sentence like it was one you’ve heard a thousand times before. “I can’t love you! Things are not the same as they used to be anymore! Don’t think I’m just a dumb high school student, Yoochun. I am Yunho now, a workaholic who wishes to make his dream come true someday. Wake up, Yoochun. I am not the same person you loved,” you protest, throwing out all of your extraneous emotions towards your previous lover.
By the way he’s staying quiet, you can tell that he is worried (even afraid) about what was going to occur next. He stands motionless for a small amount of time, and then he steps forward and embraces you in one of his lengthy and irresistible hugs.
“No! That’s not true!” It seems that he is crying now, staining your expensive black suit with his irrational salty tears. “I don’t want to lose you. I love you.” He quivers as his embrace becomes tighter, spreading extra warmth to your chest, its heat seeping all the way down into your heart. You have to stop him-now-or you might never be able to see a smile upon Jaejoong’s face ever again.
“Stay away from me!” You push him away until the crystal droplets were visible to your blurry vision. You just wanted to get away from him, in fact, you needed to. And if you didn’t act upon it soon, you might just end up in the same hotel with him once again.
His eyes are filled with anger now-betrayal-a lot like what you saw in Jaejoong’s eyes weeks ago when the two you had your first fight. Your heart aches as you remember him. He was the one you truly loved. Jaejoong was the one you frankly needed to be with.
But before that thought completely sank into your mind, Yoochun’s hands grasp onto your shoulders once again. Before saying anything reckless, he meets his lips with yours, offering the taste of his deliciously savory mouth. He is driving you insane, while making your decision difficult by the thousands.
Before thinking anything through and analyzing your actions (which by the way, you do too much of these days), you close your eyes, tasting every bit of his sugary kiss. The flowers’ dramatic colours began to blur around you, turning the whole garden into a place nearly as magnificent as heaven itself. Everything was spinning so fast; it was hard to keep control of all your useless emotions.
But as you kissed him, two things became clear in your mind immediately. These thoughts couldn’t be denied, and there was not a single word in these thoughts that were lies.
The first one was: You loved Yoochun dearly. You loved the taste of his lips, the feel of his skin, and the sound of his voice. You can’t run away from him, no matter how hard you’ll try to.
The latter was, to your surprise, rather contradicting to the first: You’re being an idiot. You can’t kiss him. He is a thing of the past, and bringing out the past will definitely affect your future. Jaejoong is the one you truly need, not him.
Deciding to follow neither of the two suggestions, you lay motionless, stuck in the kiss Yoochun had planted affectionately on you. You didn’t care anymore, at least not about what was going on at the moment. Time was paused, and you would allow fate itself to lure you into your correct places afterwards.
Those were your thoughts for the moment, until you feel that someone is watching you. No Yunho, not him, but him. He is watching you.
It was exactly one minute past nine by the time you arrived at the YG anniversary party. The taxi lasted approximately three hours, taking up most of your birthday’s evening. You didn’t mind though; not when you’re here, and that you’re going to see him within a few minutes.
As the three of you stepped out of the cab and into the hotel entrance, you couldn’t help but feel your heart pound frantically, its active state making your ribs jiggle ecstatically. Wishing you could hold your heart in place, you, Changmin, and Junsu enter the hotel, and then the fancy lobby where the large event was held. The lobby was packed with guests, their clothing consisting only of black suits and elegant dresses. Considering the three of you were dressed in simple jeans and t-shirts, it felt a bit embarrassing walking into the whole dress-up scene.
But as soon as the three of you entered the lobby, the guests’ eyes turned to the three of you immediately, gawking at each one of you with pure interest. Things such as “Hey, isn’t that the Shim Changmin from SM?” and “That’s Kim Junsu! He’s got a great voice!” were whispered among the many guests. The loud socializing soon mellowed down into a hushed whispering. It was almost a bit frightening to see the scene change so drastically.
“Who’s that boy?”
“Who?
“That boy with the black hair!”
“Who knows? Maybe he’s one of Changmin’s assistants!”
“But Changmin never carries an assistant around! He prefers to work alone!”
“But you never know!”
“Yeah… well… he sure is the lucky guy to be working for such a successful songwriter!”
You want to snort loudly as you heard their ridiculous whispers enter your ears. You? Changmin’s assistant? Maybe you were assisting him in taking over the music industry, but you never wanted to actually receive such a bland title. It made you feel pathetic, like you were nothing without him. But soon enough, you will show the world. You will show the world that you have potential, and that you aren’t afraid to reveal it.
But that was not your purpose for coming here. The only reason you came to such a party was to see Yunho-nothing more, and you needn’t get carried away.
The three of you settled into the party as you searched around conscientiously for Yunho. After quite some time, the conclusion that Yunho was nowhere to be found could be made among the three of you. With no other choice, you approach a kindhearted looking YG employee that appeared to be in his forties, and question him about Yunho’s whereabouts, hoping you will receive a useful answer.
“Excuse me, sir; have you seen Jung Yunho-sshi around?”
He turns around to face you, a wine glass at his fingertips. “Why yes,” he replies. “I think he went into the garden.” He smiles as he points to your left, directing you to the outdoor garden. “I don’t know if he’s left already, but it would be a wise decision to check there for him.”
You bow your head respectively in thanks towards the older man, and follow the direction indicated by his finger. Your heart raced furiously as you stepped out of the lobby and into the cool night air. You were going to see him within seconds, and there were no words to explain how anxious and ecstatic you were feeling at the moment.
You had replayed your surprise plan in your head thousands of times in your head. Now it was time to put the plan into action-and you felt beyond anxious.
Except… when you walked into the colourful garden, your visions of love were completely blinded. After seeing what was actually in front of your eyes, not only were you confused, but you wanted to die.
In the presence of the emerald green bushes and vibrant flowers, stood Yunho, kissing another man.
You didn’t know what to think, and you had no idea if you were in fact hallucinating. But what you saw in front of you was a thing far worse than you would ever see in your most frightful nightmares. You experienced what felt like tears lingering in the back of your eye sockets, yet your eyes were too frozen in order to give them up onto your sweaty face. You stood there motionless, afraid, and most of all, surprised.
You were supposed to surprise him today, but it turns out, you were the one being surprised by him.
By the way he was kissing that man; you knew that he was in love with him. You could see the love in his eyes, the desire, the lust-everything. It was almost exactly the same look you saw within him when he was with you.
Yunho turns around from his delicious kisses and looks at you shockingly. Your eye contact linked with his for a second, until he speaks, his voice trembling into the cold night air.
“Jae-” He calls out your name hesitantly, like he hasn’t mastered the Korean language at all. “I can explain this-I-”
You don’t want to look in his chocolate eyes; you don’t want to stare at his empty neckline where your necklace last rested. And most of all, you don’t want to hear the words that were escaping from his velvety lips that had just planted kisses on another man. You don’t want any of it.
So you run, hoping to escape everything. You run past the crowd of songwriters and producers, your friends, and past the anger that slowly built up in you. But it was futile; there was no way to escape from yourself. You can attempt, but you will never succeed.
But you still try. You’re still motivated to run, to wipe the tears off your sweating face. You have to run; to run as far as you can from this. Because if you don’t…
…then you might never be able to wake up from this appalling nightmare ever again.
Wow, the hate you have towards me now, I can just feel it through the computer screen. I must say, it’s really quite frightening.
I will be going on vacation soon, so it might take me a while to update the next chapter. But no worries, I will! Please stay tuned, k?
Do you remember Junsu’s “stay tuned” from Bigeast Station? Well, he’s saying that now!
And please comment! I love you guys <333
~Cindy
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