Jaejoong's Lyric Verse 16/24
J a e j o o n g ’ s L y r i c
Author: love_cassiopeia (Cindy)
Summary: Jaejoong - a poor yet talented musician with an impossible dream. Yunho - An SM producer who could make Jaejoong’s unreal dream come true. They needed each other to succeed, and they were delighted they had met that magical day. But, will love get in the way of dreams? Will the two be captured by love rather than work? Only his song will tell.
Group: TVXQ/Dong Bang Shin Ki
Rated: PG-13 (overall)
Disclaimer: I don’t own the five members, I’m simply borrowing them.
Warnings: Yaoi/slash, language, some angst
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairings: YunJae | YunChun (2U/To-You)
Length: 2,579 words
Verse sixteen : Doubt
Book Cover | Movie Poster | Promo 1 |
Jaejoong's Lyric
Verse 16: Jealousy
[Yoochun]
It felt like years-no, centuries-since the two of you last slept together like this. You knew he wanted it, and you knew you wanted it. So why not? Why not just make him yours once again?
Maybe it was the crappy hotel-or the alcohol-or maybe it was his hot breath that continuously caressed your shoulders-you didn’t know. But what was luring you back to him was irresistible, and you loved it-you loved it so much.
Before the two of you got undressed and under the covers that night, he went out to dinner with you (just a simple ordinary dinner, you thought). He first insisted no, but eventually, he gave in to your request-thinking it was only an opportunity for the two of you communicate and reunite with each other. But little did he know that afterwards (after a few drinks, of course), he would follow you to the hotel, bare his soul, and end up here again. He was so willing, and yet he was so doubtful-like there was a voice in the back of his head that held him back from doing all of this.
But it didn’t matter-not now. Not now when everything is perfect. No one would get in the way again-not ever.
He was fast asleep now-the breaths he took becoming even as he fell into his slumber. His expressions told you that he was dreaming (about something unpleasant, perhaps), and his eyebrows told you that he was in deep confusion and pain. Without warning, you hold his hand in yours; caressing it gently until the expression on his face fades away. You would wake him up from his nightmare-as his lover, it was your job to do so.
Maybe you were jumping to conclusions. Maybe you weren’t his lover after all. But why did he follow you here, then? A nasty part of your mind asked you. Why did he choose to follow you out of all people?
Before falling asleep again, you take the time to observe him. His manly chest, the beauty mark above his velvet lips, and his eyes-they were all so familiar to you. He was exactly like how you remembered him years ago. Maybe a little thinner, you think. But otherwise, he carried the exact same expressions, the exact same frowns-everything was roughly the same. The only thing you felt that drastically changed was his personality. It seemed a bit…darker?
He appeared uncertain most of the time, and he acted as if he had a heavy burden upon his shoulders. What was it? You wonder. What could it be that was troubling him?
Your eyes were immediately caught by a shiny material that lingered somewhere below his neckline. Huddling closer to him, you realized what it was. A small, silver, cross necklace dangled over his shoulder blades and shone on his smooth skin. It was beautiful-and he didn’t seem to wearing it the last time you met him in Seoul.
Did someone give this to him? You ask yourself. Did someone give it to him as a gift for Christmas? If so, who was this person?
It looked strangely familiar-like you’ve seen it somewhere before. But you can’t recall the exact moment and place you stumbled upon it. Placing your fingers on the necklace, you pick it up to observe it. It was beautiful… so beautiful that it even shone vibrantly in the dark room. Who would’ve given this to him? Or did he buy it himself?
Feeling a little jealous, you untie the necklace around him and hide it in your palm. If he truly treasured the necklace-he would come back to you and ask you for it. You knew it was a nasty trick, but it was too tempting for you not to ignore.
Hiding the necklace in your bag, you return to the bed, making sure he was fast asleep and unaware of his surroundings. “I love you…” You whisper into his ears. You truly do, and it has been a long time since you uttered those three words to someone. “And I missed you…” You confess, hoping he would hear it in his sleep. “Can’t we start over… all over again?”
He didn’t answer, but you knew what his response would be. Before closing your eyes once again, you hear something escape his lips. “Jae…” He murmured jadedly. “Jaejoong…”
Jaejoong? The name sounded familiar. But who could it be? You thought and you thought-but your mind gave you no answer. It felt like déjà vu, but you can’t explain where you heard it. You were so confused… even a little jealous, maybe. Who was this “Jaejoong” that he was thinking about? And why was his name so familiar in your mind?
You couldn’t think-not now. You just want to treasure your moments with him, and hope he never parts from you again-
Like last time.
Big Mistake.
It was Saturday… the best day of the week-a time for you to rest. But could you? Could you stop all these ridiculous thoughts that remained stuck in your head ever since that day?
It was your day off from work, so you decided to go spend your lunch hour at a small café not far from the dock. You didn’t take the time to invite someone-not because you had no-one-but because you don’t need anyone. You just wanted to be by yourself today, so you could reflect on the severe events that occurred in the previous few days.
Before telling yourself anything, you realized one thing:
You hated yourself.
How would you be able to explain this to Jaejoong? How could you even talk to him now that you’ve spent the night with another man-who you weren’t supposed to be with? How would he react? Would he hate you, too?
No matter how much you wanted to blame him, you knew it wasn’t Yoochun’s fault for luring you in. It was yours. It was hard to admit it, but it was true. You should’ve abstained yourself from causing all this to happen, but you couldn’t. You didn’t know why. Maybe you cared too much for Yoochun-maybe your memories haunted you and that you still wanted to be with him. So what about Jaejoong? Jaejoong-who doesn’t even know a thing. Do you even know how much you’re hurting him?
If you could relive these few days and start over, you would let none of this happen. You wouldn’t let the strands of your memories to be tangled again in this-mess. Well, that’s what your life was now, right?
Feeling a bit sorry for Jaejoong, you move your hand to your neckline, searching for the silver cross he had given you that one day. To your surprise (or horror), it was in absence. You don’t know what to do but panic-where was it? Where was that cross necklace that acted as the final connection between the two of you?
Your mind tells you that it must’ve come loose, or that you might’ve dropped it somewhere at the hotel that night. You hated yourself enough for sleeping with Yoochun-now you’ve lost Jaejoong’s necklace! How stupid could a guy get?
How were you going to explain this to him the next time the two of you met?
Just a second after your panic attack went away, your phone rings, filling your ears with the high pitched melody of the ringtone. Looking at the caller ID, you recognized it as Jaejoong’s cell phone, calling in from Seoul. You wanted to hesitate before picking up the phone, but because you were so impatient to hear his voice-you couldn’t help but pick up his call immediately.
“Hello-”
“Yunho! Where were you?”
Hearing the way he interrupted you; you knew he was frustrated and impatient. How could you possibly deal with this now?
His question still rang in your head loudly like a school bell. Where were you these past few days? You wished you could tell him the truth-that you were out with Yoochun; that you were sorry that all this had to happen. It would get a little interesting if you had chose to voice out your thoughts-but after thinking it through, you chose not to.
So… as always, you come up with a lame excuse to replace his doubts.
“I’m sorry Jae… my cell phone seems to have run out of battery.” This one’s always worked for you in the past, so why not try it now? “So…” You begin, happy that you were finally able to hear his harmonious voice once again. “What have you been up to these few days?”
There’s silence on the other end, and then a heavy sigh. “Well…” He starts out. “There’s nothing new, really. I mean… just the same old vocal training.” He sighs again, this time releasing a bit of sorrow into your ears. “You’re still wearing my necklace, right?”
His question hits you-hard. “Of course!” You lie. You had to lie your way out of this one-you just didn’t want to hear his reaction to the truth.
“Good.” He exhales, relief soaking into his melodic voice. “Hey Yunho…” He pauses, hesitant on which words to say next. “You do remember that it’s my birthday next week, right?”
It was amazing how his words continued to surprise you.
It was his birthday next week, and here you were-hurting him and hiding from him like a dense coward. You don’t know how you would confess to him, but being that you loved him, you knew you had to.
“Yunho… you there?”
His voice brings you out of your long trail of thoughts. “Oh yeah! Of course!” You notify him, a little dryly. “So... your birthday, right?”
“Yeah.” He agrees, excitement in his voice. “I was thinking… maybe you could visit me in Seoul that day… since its Friday and all…”
Before you could answer him-or speak to him at all, you remembered your packed schedule that was laid out neatly and efficiently for you the next week. January 26th… that was the day of the YG entertainment 10th anniversary. If you missed out on such an event-your career would be in deep jeopardy, and not only Jaejoong, but Yoochun will be completely disappointed with you if you failed, once again.
“I’d love to Jae… but…” You don’t know how to turn him down-especially for the second time this month. “There’s a party that night for the YG entertainment’s 10th anniversary… there will be lots of songwriters, producers, and artists there-I don’t think I can afford to miss out on that event.” You explain to him, so gently, it was almost like you were taming a little child.
He sighs, once again, repeating the same grief in his voice. “It’s fine… Yunho…” He consoles. “I mean… there’s always next time! There’s still another two months until I debut… so there’s plenty of time for us to reunite, right?”
“Right.” You agree, doubtful of your answer. Could you? Could you see him now that you’ve lost his necklace-the one thing he’s treasured so much? You were so unsure, and even afraid to know the answer to your own question.
He laughs silently on the other line. “I love you, Yunho.” He confesses. “I’ll work as hard as I can, and I trust that you will, too, right?”
You were getting sick and tired of all his questions. “Of course!” You reply. “I love you too, Jae… and… please don’t work yourself too hard.”
“I won’t, I won’t!” He tells you before he hangs up; ignoring your question like it wasn’t a question at all. He was so sure of himself-and his voice told you that he was above confident in what he was doing.
You don’t need to worry.
But you couldn’t help but do so. You couldn’t help but think about all the consequences you would receive if he knew the truth. And you were concerned-you were concerned that you might lose your connection with him, and never get it back again.
You have to stop that at all costs from happening.
So… it ends like this… again.
Because you don’t want to be hurt by his words once again-you ignore them and hope that they’ll ignore you in return. You loved Yunho-there was no doubt about it-so letting him go and achieve his own success was the one thing you needed to do. He has done so much for you in the past-and you needed to repay him with more than just your affections for him. Letting him have is way was one thing you could do, and letting him go off to Incheon without you was another.
But you were still worried. You were worried that you would lose him from the harsh distance that stretched out before the two of you. You were afraid to think that you would have to spend another second alone without him, and you were scared to predict how the two of you could be together after your debut. But what could you do? This was your life now.
But it was all so perfect… so why did this have to happen?
You wanted to see him-so much. For your birthday, you wanted nothing more but to see his face and feel his touch. You didn’t need anything more-for his love completed you.
So you decided: if he wasn’t going to visit you, then you would go off to Incheon yourself to visit him. You would surprise him with your appearance, and hopefully, after the YG party, the two of you would put aside some precious time for yourselves.
It was as easy as that! And being that Changmin is a pure legend of the music industry, it would be a piece of cake for the two of you to get into that YG party. It just seemed so easy-it was almost frightening.
You can’t wait to see Yunho’s expression when you surprise him in Incheon. So instead of calling him to notify him about your visit, you choose the alternative of dropping in uninformed. It was an event that you’ll be looking forward to, and there were only a few more days to go until the two of you could see each other. You could hardly wait.
Finally, there was something for you to look forward to.
And there you go! Another short chapter without any action at all! I do apologize for the 2U/YunChun moments… but an author has to do what an author has to do =/
And if any of you has noticed, I changed my rating from “NC-17” to “PG-13.” There was a smut scene way back in Verse 11 (I will only rate that chapter differently), but overall, this fic has a PG-13 rating, don’t you agree?
Gah… I can’t believe summer vacation is almost over… in another month, I will have to go back to H-E-L-L. Fuck that.
Oh, and also, I’ve finally decided that this fic will have 24-25 chapters. I’m not completely sure yet, but let’s see how I do with this plan ^^
Everybody should comment, k? ♥♥♥ Silent readers?
See you guys soon~
~Cindy
Chance | Sing | Conversation | Interruptions | Spark | Microphone | Flirt | Again | Flame | Gift | Miracle | Promise | Awake | Timeless | Doubt | Jealousy | Fast-forward |