My sister and I used to get so excited when our dad was coming home... because maybe for a minute a parent would finally love us, but we'd just get yelled at. maybe i should just say i would but i presume the same was true for her.

During painful right breast clog, Monday evening 1/22/24

Chat with Ness:

[on feeling good and special when pregnant] it's like a drug or something so we want to keep having babies?  i felt almost magical or special or something. now i feel totally useless and i jsut awant to be pregnat again 😭  Tho im sure the pain and stuff that followed birth has ( Read more... )

How far along?  37 weeks 3 days or 8 months 20 days


( Read more... )

I've been wanting to do this for MONTHS... Legitimately several months! Woops


( Read more... )

I've been thinking lately about the flattening, shallowing, and emptying out of culture... Be it online forums (from the concept of bulletin boards in old internet days to journaling and conversing about that, to later, less-involved, less-communal, and more-alienating things like 'offbeat bride' and even pregnancy forums (shocking - I know) that ( Read more... )

Notes from 27 June 2023

How I feel, to a degree (tho more so)... re architecure, the suburbs, depression, etc... interestingly articulated. You have to love (and always wonder) if ppl know *Why* things went to shit after the 2nd 'world war':

https://www.ted.com/talks/james_howard_kunstler_the_ghastly_tragedy_of_the_suburbs

Baby Food Guide:

Healthy ( Read more... )

Theron's mom sent me that message after we got home from what I felt was a really great trip to Wheeling, WV where my parents finally interacted with his parents for several hours over two days - the first time they've seen each other since our wedding.

Why she said that was because Theron and I had gone to tour an old (1900's or earlier) brick " ( Read more... )

So angry at myself!!

Developed a UTI all of a sudden Monday night (this is how this shit goes) and Tuesday read to drink tons of water, cranberry juice (which I didnt have yet) and raw garlic - and some herbs i dont have. But instead of just riding it thru and getting the cranberry juice, theron suggested i go get antibiotics.

STUPID!!!

All Ive ( Read more... )

it's so hard... to break out of habits

i decided 'i wont drink tonight. i prolly wont drink tonight. i dont want to drink tonight (true, no desire)... then it gets late.. keep watching videos n playing spider solitaire. slept in... chatting w/mom online. smiling at theron next to me. petting brigly now and then. it's sunny out.

all these things ( Read more... )

nah

before they were all brainewashed...

everyone was ok w/this.... david and vanessa included. they, in fact, liked the dissent and ron paul.. despuie their god, obama... what HAPPENED?

https://youtu.be/VUxm6TWSLVk