ahh, the dream lives on...like a rebirth on this cold and rainy day i feel hope...i woke up 15 minutes late and missed my bio lecture...but thats okay...instead i went out and bought 24 ounces of coffee to feel this morning to it's fullest...i fell asleep last night with my mind racing...lit up with dreams so real i could taste them..so comforting ( Read more... )

jesus christ this has been a shitty shitty day...i've sat around eating and whinning..goddamn my back hurts...any doctors-to-be or pushers wanna help me out? any huge doses of any sort of narcotic will do just fine, thank you...i will nevereverever use my back again...please oh god make this shooting pain go away...today i was driving my car out of ( Read more... )

as much of a yankee as i am i'm getting tired of the cold...all this freezing rain is driving me crazy...i dragged my cold ass out of bed today, made the long trip to school only to find out that my classes were canceled...bastards...oh well...in one of the hallways there was this cloud of jason's scent...i just had to stop and breathe it in...it ( Read more... )

i had so much trouble sleeping last night...i realized i was sad...i missed jason...alot...and i still miss him...but it isn't the way i've missed him in the past...i opened myself up to him this past week in a way i never open up in anymore...i'm so confused...i haven't felt this way about anyone in such a long time...years...where i actually ( Read more... )

for the past 3 days i have been shrouded by a complete lack of electricity...fantastic...and those three days were full of joy...i managed, trying to escape the boredom and frigid air of my apartment, to get ass-drunk with some friends, puke at ihop, puke at home, break my glasses in two and cry until i passed out with the cold porcelin of the john ( Read more... )

sweet jesus i'm in a bad fucking mood...and the damn thing is it's just getting worse...i'm annoying myself at this point...getting increasingly disgusted and pissed at myself for being so goddamn whiny...ughhh...i'm tired of being tired and sick of being hungry and just plain pissed...i'm tired of binding and not having top surgury...and i'm tired ( Read more... )

goddamnit i miss my boy...

coming down from another wonderful boy high...after i got in this morning i fell asleep on the couch...i wrapped the blanket around me and it felt like his arms were still there...holding me, keeping me warm...i feel so warm inside...and its not that superficial fluttery feeling..i mean, it is that too, but there is this filling warmth wrapping ( Read more... )

boys rock...well, a certain boy in particular...mmm...i'm just going to run this weekend over and over again in my mind until i get to see him again...because he rocks and i already miss him and he's only been gone an hour...such a pretty boy...so pretty...so awesome..so smart...so hot...so sweet...my brain has been terribly blood deprived...and at ( Read more... )

i stayed up until 3am studying for my his exam only to have to wake up at 6am to register for classes...i figured after i did so i could just go back to sleep, no worries...well i discovered around 1am that i need to know 200 pages of New Deal information by thursday..so i studied...i went to bed at 3 or so...woke up at 6...only to dial that same ( Read more... )