little journal im sorry iv been so cold
life is odd. love is good, family too
weird not having a job

but i keep smiling cus some one once wrte me a tille note that said

"smile more, ur cuter when you do"

yea 4 years later it still repeats in my head :)

 wow.

so yea a month after i wrote my last entry me and scotie broke up.
it was really bad. like no other one. wow now that i think about it this lj has EVERY break up in it. it really is my little diary,
any ways yea he asked me to move out and said he still loved me and wanted to be together....then never talked to me again.
well till about 7 months ( Read more... )

wow its been a while

you know im only on here when something is truly bothering me.

and what is it today?

lets start with school- 
the semester is almost over. and the next one starts next week. oh my god. i need a few things for school, but i just cant afford it. i tryed to ask for help from my mother, but she wasnt verry helpfull to say the least.
im ( Read more... )

i did it again. i dont know why. its been over a year, its a hard thing to explan i dont know why it came back to me, scot was mad i was hurt. i feel lost why did i do it i was doing so good. now hes even mader. i shouldnt have showd him. he never understood it when i talked about the past. i should have known he wasnt going to be here for this ( Read more... )

dood life sux some times.

desi left for boot camp. its weird u know someone for 10 years and now there gone. alot of my good friends have left to get there lives started. im not sure what im going to do. i want to do hair i think but from what i have heard its not good money. iv wanted to do culinary school for years but now that dosent apeal to me ( Read more... )

i hate working 40 hours a week.

all i want to do over the weekends and when i get home is sleep!

i dont like staying up late any more. i wish i could.

i go to scoties house on fridays and go to sleep by 11 so he leaves me in the bed and goes out with his friends.

im only 18 i want to have fun!!!

id like to say im in love with scot sachi bremner.

i will love him forever.

moving out in about a month!! yay. i cant wait. 

so last night i didnt sleep at all and i dont know why.

then when it was time to get up to go to work i just statred crying.

i couldnt stop.

i just sat in my room in tears.

then i tryed to get dressted. 
ha
i can fit in any of my cloths

i then just went out side to smoke my life away. and cryed

then my mom got out of bed to see what was wrong. and i ( Read more... )

I have an unfamiliar feeling of uncertainty.

In the last cycle of the earths orbit iv been in this non excitant world I made up.

Witch I’m recently noticing is not real.

I’m surrounded by an adult world with the mind set of a young teenage girl.

I have the feeling that things are about to get out of the ordinary for me.

My world’s ( Read more... )

working hard. going to move in to an appartment by the end of september. cool huh? yea. me scoti brittany and jeff.  then ill feel much better. im not to sure if i still want to go to school in sanfisco now. i love my life i have here. i dont want it to change. maybe ill just go to school around here ya know ( Read more... )