up date.
wow.
so yea a month after i wrote my last entry me and scotie broke up.
it was really bad. like no other one. wow now that i think about it this lj has EVERY break up in it. it really is my little diary,
any ways yea he asked me to move out and said he still loved me and wanted to be together....then never talked to me again.
well till about 7 months later, and then we hooked up a few times. hahah nothing like hooke up with an ex. its a really weird thing, im not sure why i was going over there, maybe because i still love him, and i love the fact that he wanted me there. ior maybe it was to flaunt in his face how much weight i lost and how good i look post break up, i think it is a little of both.
yea i took it really bad. to tell you the truth it really by far was the worst i have ever felt with a break up. and it lasted forever! really. im still thinking about him every day, but the first 5 months was hell the first 2 weeks was suicidal. i moved in with tristan, and she was great really trying to help. but we just needed our oun place expecailly me, i really needed to find out who i was again , but yea i cryed for 3 weeks non-stop. and i was a compeletly difrent person. i stayed out till 4 am every night and be fucked up and sleep all day skiped class alot and did stupid shit.
some thing i wish i didnt too. but none of that materd when i started seeing scotie again.
but oh fucking well....
right?
i know this shouldnt be going in and out of my mind all day but it does, what if?
but then i just smack myself in the head.
yea well school is getting really hard but im doing ok not really but im geting by.
work blows
but i really am trying to make things work. just lattley i feel like im going to have a crazy melt down.
im just really sick of never stoping to have time for me.
well good night.