Title: Superman Tonight (16/?)
Author: lonelyphoenix85
Rating: R overall, mainly for the odd swear-word
Genre: Pre-slash, angst, hurt/comfort
Pairing: Sam/Gabriel pre-slash, Dean/Cas pre-slash, Aziraphale/Crowley slash
Spoilers: through to Changing Channels (5x08)
Warnings: None
Word Count: 2793 (this part, 34852 total so far)
Disclaimer: It only belongs to me when I'm dreaming! Bon Jovi owns the song, and the rest is property of the almighty Kripke!
Author's Note: Just wanted to say thanks to my awesome beta for this story,
of_red_clouds - you're awesome!
Previous Chapters: |
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14 |
15 And now:
Dean’s eyes implored Castiel to listen, to believe the hunter…he wanted to oblige, despite not being convinced, despite not understanding what Dean meant when he said…
“Angel-married…?”
“He called it a bond or some shit.”
Dean looked slightly uncomfortable with that statement, as though there was more he was not sharing.
“You are saying that Gabriel, who only two weeks ago tried to get both yourself and your brother to say yes, Bonded with Sam? Dean, are you even aware of what that would mean, if it were true?”
Castiel barely understood what it would mean - the closest he’d ever seen to a Bond was the connection he had formed with Dean when he pulled him from the pit, but that was like comparing a candle to a forest fire. He’d heard stories of course, of what Bonding had been like, but no angel he’d ever known had actually done it - he didn’t even know how it was to be accomplished, or if it was even possible between an angel and a human, as Dean was claiming. And the effects of such a bond…
“They said something about strong connections, and forever may have come into it…”
Dean was definitely trying very carefully not to mention something, and it was only the lack of any immediate threat that made Castiel keep his promise to respect the hunter’s privacy and not look into his thoughts - although he found he was having to make a concentrated effort to keep the hunter’s mind separate from his own.
Having been injured was obviously still affecting him if he was weak enough to let the connection he had with Dean become so active. He would have to keep his guard up, to avoid any accidents with it.
“Gabriel Bonded with Sam.”
If Sam was indeed Bonded with Gabriel, rather than vessel to Lucifer, a lot had changed in their fight while he had been unaware.
Thinking back he realised that the Grace he had seen had been far too pure to have been his fallen brother’s…he rather thought it was too pure to have been Gabriel’s either, after his prolonged absence from Heaven and his activities during that time. It seemed there was more to his older brother than met the eye, even now - Gabriel was far more than the half-fallen, damaged Archangel Castiel had believed him to be when they spoke last.
“Apparently it wasn’t on purpose…not sure I believe that shit, but that’s what they’re claiming. I think it’s a good thing though…I mean, Sammy - you’ll see what I mean, when you see him Cas…but he’s Sammy again…”
Castiel could tell from Dean’s expression that he believed what he said made perfect sense - that it was supposed to imply something, rather than being a simple repetition of the younger Winchester’s name. Unfortunately Castiel was at a loss as to what exactly Dean was trying to infer.
“I think perhaps you should tell me all that I have missed Dean, before I speak with either of our brothers.”
Glancing down at his clothing Castiel quickly added to his request.
“Perhaps you could also explain what has happened to my clothing whilst I was not conscious? I don’t recall my shirt being open when we returned to your motel room…” Cas paused and glanced around, only now becoming aware of the fact that… “Dean - this is not your motel room. How long have I been unconscious?”
Castiel was not exactly prone to panic - he was an angel, and as such was not exactly prone to any true emotional response to a situation, but the lack of information about his current condition was distinctly unnerving. Angels didn’t require sleep, and although he had been requiring more rest than ever before as his power dwindled, he had not yet had to stoop to allowing his body to lose consciousness to re-energise - not until his unexpected collapse, at any rate.
This was, therefore, his first ever experience of waking from an unconscious state - becoming aware after being brought back from the unfortunate…incident…with Raphael did not count - and he was not enjoying it. He was not where he had been, and their situation was dramatically altered from what he gathered from the little information Dean had shared so far…the experience was, on the whole, incredibly disorienting.
“We’re at Bobby’s dude - you’ve been out of it since early yesterday, although we didn’t realise how serious it was until Gabriel turned up.” Castiel had to fight not to lean back as Dean fixed his eyes firmly on him, glaring intently. He hated that his recent weakness brought forth such…human…reactions in him. “You didn’t think it might be a good idea to warn us that you were at death’s freaking door, Cas?!”
“Death does not have a door, Dean…”
“It’s an expression Cas,” Dean replied absently, a small smile flitting over his face despite his irritation.
Good. That’s what Castiel had been aiming for. He may not have recognised the expression, but he had been around Dean and Sam for long enough now that he was able to tell when they were being literal and when their words required a less exact interpretation. Dean seemed to enjoy explaining these things though, always smiling when Castiel made his naïve observations, so he would let the hunter think that he needed the aid as long as it did not interfere with their mission or safety in any way.
He refused to closely examine why exactly he felt the need to provide this amusement for the hunter.
“I apologise for worrying you Dean - I had not believed myself to be so close to collapse or I would have warned you. I do not wish to anger you again Dean, but I must know - why am I not dead? I should not have survived the situation I put myself in.”
“You shouldn’t have put yourself in a situation you couldn’t survive Cas! You’re not expendable dude, so don’t act like you are!”
Castiel felt a rush of anger he didn’t understand, and couldn’t hold back his response.
“I should have let myself fall then? Become another weight around your neck, just someone else in need of your protection?! I did what had to be done to remain in the fight for as long as possible Dean - you would rather me human and helpless?!”
SPNSPNSPN
Hours of fear had finally caught up to Dean, and he dealt with it the only way he could face right then - he got angry…Castiel’s response - his voice raw with emotion, his face twisted with anger and confusion - was not what Dean had expected.
“I would rather you alive! You fucking died Cas! I had to watch you die, and I had to fight to get you back long enough that we could get here and fix you!”
Dean choked back the lump that formed in his throat, tearing his gaze from the angel before the other could see the tears that threatened to fall.
A few moments of silence followed, and Dean had to fight not to look up. Not to check that Cas was still even in the room.
“I…died?” The voice was soft, barely a whisper.
“Your heart stopped.” Dean glanced up finally, green eyes locking with intense blue, neither able to look away.
“I am sorry I caused you that pain Dean - truly - but I only did what was necessary to keep you safe…just as you did for Sam when you made your deal.”
“That was different! My life is not worth yours, Cas - what I am, what I’ve done…I don’t deserve your sacrifice, and I don’t freaking want any more blood on my hands! Please Cas…I couldn’t take having your blood on my hands…”
SPNSPNSPN
The guilt, the self-loathing, the fear…it took Castiel long moments to classify the emotions, but Dean had lapsed into silence, giving the angel time to think.
Time to realise the source of the feelings.
The source of his earlier anger. The thoughts, the words he’d spoken, had been his own, but the ferocity, the fury with which he’d expressed them, had been utterly alien and it was with a sinking feeling that he realised why.
“Dean, what did Gabriel do…?”
The dread that filled him as he awaited the hunter’s response was the first emotion of the conversation that Castiel was certain was one hundred percent his, and he did his best to protect the human from it by withdrawing as far from the connection - the Bond?! - as he could.
“He saved your life.”
“At what cost?”
“What?”
Castiel could feel Dean’s confusion, and realised with horror what Gabriel must have done. To have kept Dean in the dark, to have done something so extreme without his permission, without his knowledge…something that could never be undone…
“I am so sorry Dean - he had no right…I cannot……I’m sorry.”
Unable to face the hunter, to tell him how horribly he’d been betrayed, Castiel ran.
Gathering his newly restored strength he stretched his wings and took flight, his only thought that he would never be able to make this up to his human who valued free will so highly.
SPNSPNSPN
Gabriel rolled his eyes at the spectacle his brother and friend were making in Bobby’s kitchen.
He was going to go out on a limb and assume that they’d actually gotten a clue at some point since he’d seen them last.
“You got any other bedrooms about old man?” Gabriel asked, angling his head slightly towards Bobby. “Me and the Sasquatch here both need to crash - I mean even the floor’s looking tempting at the moment…”
“S’that a good idea? I mean, you were all gung-ho ‘bout him staying awake earlier…”
“I can keep an eye on him now…”
Gabriel held up a hand as he saw the argument on the older hunter’s face - which was a mistake he realised, as he swayed slightly…that was not going to help his argument at all.
“I did all the hard work on the wards last time, just my presence should be enough to keep him safe - and if Luci gets creative…well, the sooner I’m resting the sooner I’ll have the energy to do more.”
“In that case, there’s a couple upstairs kid…if ya feel up to helping manhandle this over-grown lump up ‘em that is,” Bobby smirked.
“I can walk guys, it’s no problem…”
Gabriel’s hand shot forward to push Sam’s shoulder back down as he moved to rise.
“Nice try kiddo - you pass out on the stairs you might break your neck…let’s not give Deano a whole new reason to hate me, eh? He’s finally loosening up a bit.”
“Because you pair trying to get me up there without my help is so much safer…”
Gabriel chuckled at the tone of wry disbelief forcing its way from under the tiredness that was saturating every pore of Sam’s being - their Bond ached with it, and Gabriel could feel it slowly pulling him under too.
“Okay, let’s say you have a point…what do you suggest, genius?”
“Well unless you can tear them away from the cakes for a minute,” Sam gestured towards Aziraphale and Crowley with a grin, “I’m thinking you could take the couch and I’ll be fine on the floor - I’m that tired I could sleep on gravel and broken glass and not notice right now to be honest.”
“And you’re not gonna take the couch and let me have the floor because…?” Gabriel asked, one eyebrow raised in amusement.
“Because he’s not the idjit that nearly bled out not half an hour ago, and because unlike your short ass, he’d probably be less comfortable on the couch than on the floor. Now quit yer yapping and get moving, before I drag you both there by yer ears…damn fools!”
Gabriel stared open-mouthed at the older hunter when he shoved him lightly in the direction of the living room. Gabriel reluctantly removed his hand from Sam’s shoulder and put it back on the chair handle.
The hunter was fast becoming one of his favourite humans, in spite of the man’s habit of insulting him. He did it with such authority and lack of fear that you would swear he was chastising a naughty child, and that was exactly how he made Gabriel feel. It was a novel experience to say the least, and one he found he didn’t mind as much as he ought.
As he walked, he wondered idly if the Winchesters had known Bobby when the brothers were children, and if he’d treated their father with the same open bluntness he apparently favoured everyone - from demons to archangels - with. He’d heard enough tales of John Winchester to know it was probably a volatile friendship at best if he had.
When they reached their destination, Gabriel sank gratefully into the old well-worn cushions.
He’d never, in his whole existence, felt as tired and as drained as he did at that moment. His Grace was barely a flicker - it would take time for it to grow in strength again, although having ‘Zira and Cas around would help.
So used, as he was, to isolation, Gabriel had forgotten how the mere presence of his brothers felt, how their Grace called back and forth…it healed, encouraged growth, and it calmed him in a way he’d not felt in so very very long…
He watched with a tired smile as Sam began to slide out of the chair, onto the rug beside the couch.
“Hey Sammo - plenty of room for two up here, ya know…” he joked, smirking weakly at Sam’s startled expression.
“Don’t think you’ll be wanting Dean to catch you pair getting all touchy feeling, no matter how much he might like yer angel right now kid,” Bobby said to the wide-eyed hunter as he moved the chair out of the way and grabbed some of the cushions from behind Gabriel to toss on the floor, ignoring the Archangel’s objection to the theft.
Gabriel was cut off before he could respond by a raised hand from the hunter - though why he let that stop him he didn’t know. It was automatic, probably to do with the way Bobby mother-henned so well. Obeying him was instinctual when he reminded Gabriel so strongly of the way Michael had been with Gabriel, Lucifer and Raphael before the fall.
“You’re sure you can keep you both safe? ‘Cos I got no problem keeping him conscious while you rest and get some strength back first if needs be…there’s no need to be stupid about this just to prove a point, you’ve done more than enough for this family today, Angel.”
“I swear, if I thought there was risk I wouldn’t have even suggested it - the wards are there, I’ve got enough Grace to shore them up while I rest. If it makes you feel better, I’ll wake us up the second anything feels even slightly off.”
“Be sure ya do. Any unnecessary heroics today and I’m likely to start killing idjits.”
Gabriel nodded with a grin, before flopping sideways onto his stomach and pulling his feet up onto the cushions at the far end of the couch. Turning his head to face Sam, he reached out and rested his hand lightly on the hunter’s hair, ignoring his questioning look or Bobby’s widening eyes at the contact. With how weak he was, it was necessary to ensure a stable connection. In fact…
“Hey Sammy, gonna need you to scoot a bit closer to the couch before you close those pretty eyes kiddo -” and okay, so it was sneaky, but hey! The pretty eyes thing had worked to get his attention earlier, hadn’t it? “- you’re a bit hard to reach out there.”
“Reach?” Sam asked, confusion evident in his tone.
Gabriel grinned quickly as Bobby rolled his eyes and headed back to the kitchen, muttering under his breath about idiot Winchesters and inappropriate angel-crushes.
“Yeah, easier for me to be in your head if I’m in contact with your physical body. You don’t wanna join me on the couch, that’s fine, but I need you close enough that you don’t roll outta reach or we might have a problem.”
Instead of a reply, Gabriel got a small smile and nod of understanding before Sam scooted forward, lying with his back pressed up against the front of the sofa.
Gabriel smiled down at the weary hunter, letting his arm hang gently down against Sam’s chest, and sighed contentedly when Sam’s arms folded over his, one hand gripping Gabriel’s wrist softly.
“Night Sammy,” he muttered, pausing slightly before adding with a tired smirk, “See you in my dreams.”
With that, he reached across their Bond with his Grace, and pulled the hunter into a deep sleep.
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