Fic: Superman Tonight...
Title: Superman Tonight (2/?)
Author: lonelyphoenix85
Rating: R, for a few foul words, and more sure to come in subsequent parts.
Genre: Songfic, Pre-slash, h/c
Pairing:Sam/Gabriel pre-slash, implied Dean/Cas
Spoilers: through to Changing Channels (5x08)
Warnings: None
Word Count: 2047 (this part, 2853 total so far)
Disclaimer: It only belongs to me when I'm dreaming! Bon Jovi owns the song, and the rest is property of the almighty Kripke!
Notes: My first SPN fic (and therefore also my first attempt at anything even vaguely resembling Sam/Gabriel) - My writing doesn't always live up to my ideas, could use a beta if anyone's interested? I kind of know where I'd like to go with this, but would like some feedback on my start before I spend more time on it.
I don't know about everyone else, but I think we should try and get Gabriel back for S6 - I made a joking comment about starting a petition, only to be told by darkamber that there already is one here: Save Gabriel Petition
I popped straight over to sign it, and now I'm posting this in case anyone else here hasn't seen it yet *grins*
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1
Summary: Gabriel confronts Sam - Sam isn't happy.
If somebody sent you
An angel to save you
What would you tell him to turn him away?
“What do you want?” Sam’s question came out flat and cold, his voice betraying none of the emotions that had flashed through his mind, his face blank.
“Anyone’d think you weren’t happy to see me Sammy-boy!”
He waited silently, staring at the grinning Archangel. He didn’t need this now. Dean and Cas had disappeared a hour ago to investigate rumours of demon sightings in the next town over, leaving Sam behind to ‘research’. Yeah, research - right! He wondered if Dean even realised he was doing it? Keeping Sam as far from temptation as possible seemed to be becoming second nature - would he ever really trust him again?
“O-kay, so that’s a tick in the not-happy column.”
The grin faded, a serious look replacing it that looked too at home there for Sam’s comfort. The Trickster - Gabriel, he reminded himself sharply - wasn’t supposed to look so old and careworn. Sam fleetingly wondered how much of the Archangel Gabriel was really left in there, and what he saw when he looked at Sam, what Judgement he would’ve levied against him. *You started the freaking apocalypse! What do you think?!* Sam shook his head quickly to clear it.
“Why are you here, Gabriel?” Sam spat the Archangel’s name out like a curse. The almost non-existent flinch he got was not as satisfying as he would’ve expected. He hated having to associate this mockery of what an Angel should be with what he’d always so firmly believed. ‘The Trickster’ or ‘Trickster’ just didn’t roll off the tongue properly though, not in a one-on-one conversation. Sam ignored the small voice in the back of his head that pointed out that Gabriel was a lot closer to his idea of Angel than some of the Angels they’d met (Uriel and Zachariah immediately sprung to mind).
“Maybe I was bored - you’re always such fun Sammy!” The grin Gabriel had pasted back on didn’t reach his eyes, in fact it looked almost painful. Sam had had enough bullshit to last ten lifetimes, and didn’t have the energy today to deal with anymore.
“No.” Cold, hard, a single-worded demand for the truth, just this once, for a change. He watched Gabriel’s face closely, saw indecision flicker, and then the serious almost-frown was back, Amber eyes almost sad-looking.
“Couldn’t be easy could it?!” The mutter was so quiet Sam almost didn’t catch it. Before he could figure it out, Gabriel continued. “You needed someone to talk to kid, and somehow I don’t see Dean-o having a very open ear at the moment, what with his burgeoning relationship with alcoholism - and as for my bro, well, he still hasn’t quite grasped the many subtleties of human emotion has he? So, by some freaky-assed process of elimination, that left me.”
Sam couldn’t help it. His jaw dropped, his eyebrows rose, and he spluttered incomprehensibly as he tried to make sense of that. Was he - was Gabriel offering to be his own personal shoulder to cry on?! Not that he had any intention of crying anywhere, let alone on this confusing being’s shoulder, but seriously?!
“Very articulate there Sammy!” Okay, so Gabriel was still snarking - the world wasn’t quite upside-down then, just slightly sideways perhaps?
“It’s Sam.” He didn’t even realise he’d said it, his brain still trying to process what was happening.
“Of course it is Sammy!” The grin - the real one, that made Gabriel’s eyes sparkle (and he was not just thinking about how sparkly his eyes were, goddammit!) - reappeared full-force for a quick second, before settling back into the still-disconcerting serious expression. “I know you don’t like me very much - Hell, you probably hate me - and I know that’s my own fault. Believe it or not I was trying to help at The Mystery Spot, I just didn’t have all the facts. Not that that’s the point right now - another story, another time. The point is, Sammy, I may not be your first choice when you go looking for a sympathetic ear, but right now you don’t have any better options, and you need something. Every little thing you keep locked up in that stubborn brain of yours is one more weapon you give my brother in his battle to get you to say yes.”
“What? What do you care?! Last week you were a whole cheering section for the ‘play your parts’ team, now all of a sudden you’ve switched sides?” Disbelief battled anger as Sam half-shouted at the Archangel in front of him. He didn’t understand what Gabriel’s game was, couldn’t see where the trick was this time. Perhaps he was just hoping he could find out something useful. Well screw that! Sam might have fallen for Ruby’s tricks, but he’d wised up since then. He’d had to.
“I don’t expect you to trust me Sammy, but I wasn’t lying in that warehouse. Heaven and Hell can all go screw themselves for all I care, I just want it over with! Can you even imagine what it’s like, knowing your family want to kill each other? Watching them try? So yeah, I wanted you and Dean to say yes. I wanted it done with, so that maybe I could forget it ever happened. Want to hear something funny though? Your brother - broken, damaged, hurting though he is - is never going to do it. I thought it was just that mile-wide stubborn streak you Winchesters all had, but it’s deeper than that in Dean. I don’t think he’s even capable of saying yes to Mikey, his instinct to protect you is that deeply ingrained. You’d be his first target, with or without Luci under your skin, and Dean knows it. So that leaves me with a little problem. I may be sick of the whole business, but I’m not about to let my crazy brother run rough-shod over the planet, completely unchecked, and I’m not much of a fan of fratricide, so you need to be able to keep saying no.”
Sam’s emotions spun and flipped as he listened to Gabriel - horror at trying to imagine the Archangel’s position, anger at his disregard for the brothers, a confused mix of pride, love and jealousy at his assessment of Dean, and despair at the realisation that his weakening will was so obvious. He had hoped that the reason Gabriel had been trying so hard with tv-world was because he thought they weren’t going to break otherwise. He didn’t think he’d ever hated being wrong quite so much.
He resolved to keep an eye on the Archangel for anything suspicious, but otherwise accept his reasoning. And that thought brought Sam back to where the conversation had begun. Gabriel’s surreal offer to help him deal with his ‘issues’.
That your heart don’t break
That your lips don’t kiss
That life is just a lie
That heaven don’t exist?
“I don’t need your help.” His voice was cold and flat again. “I don’t need anyone’s help. I’ve dealt with a lot of crap before, and I’m managing just fine with this latest pile. Lucifer’s not going to break me, so you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“I wish that were true Sammy, I really do.” Gabriel’s voice was soft, his eyes sad. He snapped his fingers and disappeared, reappearing sat on one of the beds, leaning back against the headrest. “Fate dealt you a supremely shitty hand, and no-one can say you haven’t played a great game in spite of that.” Sam moved to the desk chair, his eyes never leaving the Archangel as he spoke. “You’re so much stronger than a lot of people have given you credit for, even me in the past. But you know I’m right now. This, this is too much for anyone to go up against alone...”
“Apparently not too much for Dean, you think he can manage just fine on his own.” Sam hadn’t realised what he was going to say until he’d said it, the muttered comment ripping straight through his brain/mouth filter before he could stop it.
“Dean-o’s got Angels coming at him head-on, fighting him to get his agreement - he knows how to fight, you both do. If Lucifer adopted Zach’s tactics I wouldn’t doubt your resolve for a second. Luci’s much smarter than Zach. Dean doesn’t have to deal with Lucifer whispering in his dreams. Making promises that will sound better every single night, until one day you’ll forget why you ever even wanted to resist. And, maybe more to the point than that, Dean’s not managing ‘on his own’ - your brother has my baby brother helping him every step of the way. Watching him, making sure he doesn’t crack - Castiel gave up Heaven for him, and to Dean that means he owes him. Dean’s need to make Castiel’s sacrifice worthwhile is almost as strong as his need to protect you. This isn’t about you not being as good as your brother. This is about you being too damn stubborn to ask for help when you need it, or take it when it’s offered!”
Sam sat in stunned silence. He’d never really considered it from that point of view before. He was the weak link, he’d started the apocalypse, and...
“You didn’t.”
“Didn’t what?” Sam was fairly sure he hadn’t let anything slip out, which meant... “You read my mind?!” Goddamned mind-reading Archangels. No sense of privacy!
Gabriel grinned slightly, and Sam thought maybe he’d heard that too.
“You didn’t start the apocalypse, Sammy. You let Luci out to play, sure. That’s on you - as much as it can be with all the outside manipulation going on, anyway. But you seem to have forgotten who broke the first seal. You bitch if you think someone implies Dean’s better than you, but truth is, you think it too, don’t you? You think you’ll never be as good as your big brother. You and your brother have both been manipulated and used by forces you couldn’t fully comprehend if you tried, and not only do you blame yourselves for what they made you do, but you, Sammy, you try to shoulder Dean’s half of the blame as well!”
“Dean never would’ve been in a position to break that seal if it weren’t for me. If I’d stopped Jake before he could kill me, Dean never would’ve been in Hell in the first place.” Sam’s voice wobbled a bit, then settled back into its previous cold tone.
“Now it’s your fault for not killing a guy who only hours earlier you’d been working with, trying to help? You’re not a murderer Sammy, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Dean chose to make that deal, he chose to bring you back.” Gabriel sat forward, his face earnest, his eyes practically begging Sam to listen.
“And I wish to God he hadn’t!” Sam shouted, finally breaking. He rose and walked towards Gabriel, stopping next to the bed a foot away from the now standing Archangel. “He should’ve left me dead! If he hadn’t brought me back I never would’ve been able to screw everything up! Do you know what the worst part is though? I helped cause the apocalypse, so I’m pretty sure I’m headed straight to Hell, and the worst part is I don’t even care anymore! Because what the hell kind of Heaven can there possibly be up there, if Heaven’s own Angels are trying to bring about the fucking end of days?!” Sam sounded broken and ragged, tears rolled silently down his cheeks. His voice was almost a whisper as he finished. “When I died before, there was always a chance I’d get to go to Heaven, a hope of somewhere peaceful and perfect and happy. Now it feels like there’s just different kinds of Hell in both directions...”
Next Chapter: Chapter 3
Author: lonelyphoenix85
Rating: R, for a few foul words, and more sure to come in subsequent parts.
Genre: Songfic, Pre-slash, h/c
Pairing:Sam/Gabriel pre-slash, implied Dean/Cas
Spoilers: through to Changing Channels (5x08)
Warnings: None
Word Count: 2047 (this part, 2853 total so far)
Disclaimer: It only belongs to me when I'm dreaming! Bon Jovi owns the song, and the rest is property of the almighty Kripke!
Notes: My first SPN fic (and therefore also my first attempt at anything even vaguely resembling Sam/Gabriel) - My writing doesn't always live up to my ideas, could use a beta if anyone's interested? I kind of know where I'd like to go with this, but would like some feedback on my start before I spend more time on it.
I don't know about everyone else, but I think we should try and get Gabriel back for S6 - I made a joking comment about starting a petition, only to be told by darkamber that there already is one here: Save Gabriel Petition
I popped straight over to sign it, and now I'm posting this in case anyone else here hasn't seen it yet *grins*
Previous Chapters:
Chapter 1
Summary: Gabriel confronts Sam - Sam isn't happy.
If somebody sent you
An angel to save you
What would you tell him to turn him away?
“What do you want?” Sam’s question came out flat and cold, his voice betraying none of the emotions that had flashed through his mind, his face blank.
“Anyone’d think you weren’t happy to see me Sammy-boy!”
He waited silently, staring at the grinning Archangel. He didn’t need this now. Dean and Cas had disappeared a hour ago to investigate rumours of demon sightings in the next town over, leaving Sam behind to ‘research’. Yeah, research - right! He wondered if Dean even realised he was doing it? Keeping Sam as far from temptation as possible seemed to be becoming second nature - would he ever really trust him again?
“O-kay, so that’s a tick in the not-happy column.”
The grin faded, a serious look replacing it that looked too at home there for Sam’s comfort. The Trickster - Gabriel, he reminded himself sharply - wasn’t supposed to look so old and careworn. Sam fleetingly wondered how much of the Archangel Gabriel was really left in there, and what he saw when he looked at Sam, what Judgement he would’ve levied against him. *You started the freaking apocalypse! What do you think?!* Sam shook his head quickly to clear it.
“Why are you here, Gabriel?” Sam spat the Archangel’s name out like a curse. The almost non-existent flinch he got was not as satisfying as he would’ve expected. He hated having to associate this mockery of what an Angel should be with what he’d always so firmly believed. ‘The Trickster’ or ‘Trickster’ just didn’t roll off the tongue properly though, not in a one-on-one conversation. Sam ignored the small voice in the back of his head that pointed out that Gabriel was a lot closer to his idea of Angel than some of the Angels they’d met (Uriel and Zachariah immediately sprung to mind).
“Maybe I was bored - you’re always such fun Sammy!” The grin Gabriel had pasted back on didn’t reach his eyes, in fact it looked almost painful. Sam had had enough bullshit to last ten lifetimes, and didn’t have the energy today to deal with anymore.
“No.” Cold, hard, a single-worded demand for the truth, just this once, for a change. He watched Gabriel’s face closely, saw indecision flicker, and then the serious almost-frown was back, Amber eyes almost sad-looking.
“Couldn’t be easy could it?!” The mutter was so quiet Sam almost didn’t catch it. Before he could figure it out, Gabriel continued. “You needed someone to talk to kid, and somehow I don’t see Dean-o having a very open ear at the moment, what with his burgeoning relationship with alcoholism - and as for my bro, well, he still hasn’t quite grasped the many subtleties of human emotion has he? So, by some freaky-assed process of elimination, that left me.”
Sam couldn’t help it. His jaw dropped, his eyebrows rose, and he spluttered incomprehensibly as he tried to make sense of that. Was he - was Gabriel offering to be his own personal shoulder to cry on?! Not that he had any intention of crying anywhere, let alone on this confusing being’s shoulder, but seriously?!
“Very articulate there Sammy!” Okay, so Gabriel was still snarking - the world wasn’t quite upside-down then, just slightly sideways perhaps?
“It’s Sam.” He didn’t even realise he’d said it, his brain still trying to process what was happening.
“Of course it is Sammy!” The grin - the real one, that made Gabriel’s eyes sparkle (and he was not just thinking about how sparkly his eyes were, goddammit!) - reappeared full-force for a quick second, before settling back into the still-disconcerting serious expression. “I know you don’t like me very much - Hell, you probably hate me - and I know that’s my own fault. Believe it or not I was trying to help at The Mystery Spot, I just didn’t have all the facts. Not that that’s the point right now - another story, another time. The point is, Sammy, I may not be your first choice when you go looking for a sympathetic ear, but right now you don’t have any better options, and you need something. Every little thing you keep locked up in that stubborn brain of yours is one more weapon you give my brother in his battle to get you to say yes.”
“What? What do you care?! Last week you were a whole cheering section for the ‘play your parts’ team, now all of a sudden you’ve switched sides?” Disbelief battled anger as Sam half-shouted at the Archangel in front of him. He didn’t understand what Gabriel’s game was, couldn’t see where the trick was this time. Perhaps he was just hoping he could find out something useful. Well screw that! Sam might have fallen for Ruby’s tricks, but he’d wised up since then. He’d had to.
“I don’t expect you to trust me Sammy, but I wasn’t lying in that warehouse. Heaven and Hell can all go screw themselves for all I care, I just want it over with! Can you even imagine what it’s like, knowing your family want to kill each other? Watching them try? So yeah, I wanted you and Dean to say yes. I wanted it done with, so that maybe I could forget it ever happened. Want to hear something funny though? Your brother - broken, damaged, hurting though he is - is never going to do it. I thought it was just that mile-wide stubborn streak you Winchesters all had, but it’s deeper than that in Dean. I don’t think he’s even capable of saying yes to Mikey, his instinct to protect you is that deeply ingrained. You’d be his first target, with or without Luci under your skin, and Dean knows it. So that leaves me with a little problem. I may be sick of the whole business, but I’m not about to let my crazy brother run rough-shod over the planet, completely unchecked, and I’m not much of a fan of fratricide, so you need to be able to keep saying no.”
Sam’s emotions spun and flipped as he listened to Gabriel - horror at trying to imagine the Archangel’s position, anger at his disregard for the brothers, a confused mix of pride, love and jealousy at his assessment of Dean, and despair at the realisation that his weakening will was so obvious. He had hoped that the reason Gabriel had been trying so hard with tv-world was because he thought they weren’t going to break otherwise. He didn’t think he’d ever hated being wrong quite so much.
He resolved to keep an eye on the Archangel for anything suspicious, but otherwise accept his reasoning. And that thought brought Sam back to where the conversation had begun. Gabriel’s surreal offer to help him deal with his ‘issues’.
That your heart don’t break
That your lips don’t kiss
That life is just a lie
That heaven don’t exist?
“I don’t need your help.” His voice was cold and flat again. “I don’t need anyone’s help. I’ve dealt with a lot of crap before, and I’m managing just fine with this latest pile. Lucifer’s not going to break me, so you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“I wish that were true Sammy, I really do.” Gabriel’s voice was soft, his eyes sad. He snapped his fingers and disappeared, reappearing sat on one of the beds, leaning back against the headrest. “Fate dealt you a supremely shitty hand, and no-one can say you haven’t played a great game in spite of that.” Sam moved to the desk chair, his eyes never leaving the Archangel as he spoke. “You’re so much stronger than a lot of people have given you credit for, even me in the past. But you know I’m right now. This, this is too much for anyone to go up against alone...”
“Apparently not too much for Dean, you think he can manage just fine on his own.” Sam hadn’t realised what he was going to say until he’d said it, the muttered comment ripping straight through his brain/mouth filter before he could stop it.
“Dean-o’s got Angels coming at him head-on, fighting him to get his agreement - he knows how to fight, you both do. If Lucifer adopted Zach’s tactics I wouldn’t doubt your resolve for a second. Luci’s much smarter than Zach. Dean doesn’t have to deal with Lucifer whispering in his dreams. Making promises that will sound better every single night, until one day you’ll forget why you ever even wanted to resist. And, maybe more to the point than that, Dean’s not managing ‘on his own’ - your brother has my baby brother helping him every step of the way. Watching him, making sure he doesn’t crack - Castiel gave up Heaven for him, and to Dean that means he owes him. Dean’s need to make Castiel’s sacrifice worthwhile is almost as strong as his need to protect you. This isn’t about you not being as good as your brother. This is about you being too damn stubborn to ask for help when you need it, or take it when it’s offered!”
Sam sat in stunned silence. He’d never really considered it from that point of view before. He was the weak link, he’d started the apocalypse, and...
“You didn’t.”
“Didn’t what?” Sam was fairly sure he hadn’t let anything slip out, which meant... “You read my mind?!” Goddamned mind-reading Archangels. No sense of privacy!
Gabriel grinned slightly, and Sam thought maybe he’d heard that too.
“You didn’t start the apocalypse, Sammy. You let Luci out to play, sure. That’s on you - as much as it can be with all the outside manipulation going on, anyway. But you seem to have forgotten who broke the first seal. You bitch if you think someone implies Dean’s better than you, but truth is, you think it too, don’t you? You think you’ll never be as good as your big brother. You and your brother have both been manipulated and used by forces you couldn’t fully comprehend if you tried, and not only do you blame yourselves for what they made you do, but you, Sammy, you try to shoulder Dean’s half of the blame as well!”
“Dean never would’ve been in a position to break that seal if it weren’t for me. If I’d stopped Jake before he could kill me, Dean never would’ve been in Hell in the first place.” Sam’s voice wobbled a bit, then settled back into its previous cold tone.
“Now it’s your fault for not killing a guy who only hours earlier you’d been working with, trying to help? You’re not a murderer Sammy, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Dean chose to make that deal, he chose to bring you back.” Gabriel sat forward, his face earnest, his eyes practically begging Sam to listen.
“And I wish to God he hadn’t!” Sam shouted, finally breaking. He rose and walked towards Gabriel, stopping next to the bed a foot away from the now standing Archangel. “He should’ve left me dead! If he hadn’t brought me back I never would’ve been able to screw everything up! Do you know what the worst part is though? I helped cause the apocalypse, so I’m pretty sure I’m headed straight to Hell, and the worst part is I don’t even care anymore! Because what the hell kind of Heaven can there possibly be up there, if Heaven’s own Angels are trying to bring about the fucking end of days?!” Sam sounded broken and ragged, tears rolled silently down his cheeks. His voice was almost a whisper as he finished. “When I died before, there was always a chance I’d get to go to Heaven, a hope of somewhere peaceful and perfect and happy. Now it feels like there’s just different kinds of Hell in both directions...”
Next Chapter: Chapter 3