Fic: Superman Tonight... Part 4 of ?
Title: Superman Tonight (4/?)
Author: lonelyphoenix85
Rating: R, for a few foul words, and more sure to come in subsequent parts.
Genre: Songfic, Pre-slash, h/c
Pairing:Sam/Gabriel pre-slash, implied Dean/Cas
Spoilers: through to Changing Channels (5x08)
Warnings: None
Word Count: 2100 (this part, 6651 total so far)
Disclaimer: It only belongs to me when I'm dreaming! Bon Jovi owns the song, and the rest is property of the almighty Kripke!
Notes: My first SPN fic (and therefore also my first attempt at anything even vaguely resembling Sam/Gabriel) - My writing doesn't always live up to my ideas, could use a beta if anyone's interested? And many many thanks to i_sudoku for helping me with my links! You're awesome!
I don't know about everyone else, but I think we should try and get Gabriel back for S6 - I made a joking comment about starting a petition, only to be told by darkamber that there already is one here: Save Gabriel Petition
I popped straight over to sign it, and now I'm posting this in case anyone else here hasn't seen it yet *grins*
Previous chapters: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Sam’s eyes drifted open slowly, coming quickly to rest on Gabriel. The Archangel was watching him intently, looking uncharacteristically nervous.
“How long was I asleep?” He asked, sitting up quickly. Because, seriously? He hadn’t felt this good in, well, in years if he was truly honest with himself. That he had Gabriel to thank for that was all kinds of confusing. Gratitude towards the person who’d killed his brother a hundred times over? What the fuck?! He was so deep in thought he almost missed Gabriel’s answer.
“Seven hours. I kept Luci out for five, then led him around by the nose for another two.” Gabriel paused, chuckling lightly. “He’s probably spitting mad right about now! Never was one for fun and games, except when they were his.”
Seven hours. Seven. Hours. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept for that long, let alone to do it nightmare-free. *He didn’t do it for you! You’re just a means to an end - he’s trying to keep you from screwing up, remember?!* Sam looked away, taking a deep breath as he fought for control. He felt like an idiot for losing it earlier, he damn well wasn’t going to do it again.
“Kid, I...”
Sam looked back up as Gabriel trailed off, confused at the normally glib Archangel’s hesitation. What he saw made his chest tighten in panic. He had ‘lets talk about it’ face - he just wasn’t sure how to start. Sam couldn’t do this, not now. Not again, after last night. He was pretty sure one breakdown per week was his limit.
“Thank you.” He all but spat the words out in his haste. “I, I mean - for keeping Lucifer out. I really needed a good night’s sleep. I can deal with everything better when I’m not struggling to keep my eyes open.” *I’m fine, I don’t need any more help, there’s nothing else that needs to be talked about. I know you’re listening, so please just listen?* Okay so he was begging, pleading even - but it wasn’t out loud, which meant it didn’t really count, his pride could remain undented if the goddamned nosy Archangel would just stick to his habit of a lifetime and bulldoze straight through the concept of privacy.
Something about Gabriel’s slightly pained grin told him he’d heard, loud and clear - had probably even caught Sam’s reasoning too, but that couldn’t be helped.
“No problem Sammy! Liked the cabin, by the way - nice and cosy. Maybe tonight I’ll be able to hang around a bit longer, if Luci’s still licking his wounds.”
Logically, Sam knew that there was nothing he could do to stop the Archangel from gate-crashing his dreams (except not sleep, and that was not a clever plan, he’d tried that when Lucifer had first started his nightly cameos, and nearly gotten himself killed dropping off mid-hunt), and he also knew that like it or not, Gabriel’s help would be invaluable if he could continue to hold off his fallen brother. But still...
“Dean and Cas will be back in a few hours - they’re not going to be happy to see you, and they definitely won’t trust you to be messing around in my head.”
“It’s your head Sammy, you’re the only one who could really keep me out...”
“How?” Sam jumped on the comment, cutting Gabriel off mid-sentence. If there was a way to keep Gabriel out, then there was a way to keep Lucifer out too, surely? What he wouldn’t give to have his head to himself again!
Sam almost missed the naked hurt that flashed briefly in Gabriel’s eyes, before he quickly covered it with a quick shake of the head and soft grin.
“Ask, Sammy. I only came right in last night when Luci got past me, I had to beat him to you and get you out. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lot easier to put up barriers from inside, they’d be stronger, last longer, but I could do it from outside if you wanted me to. I won’t come back in without your permission unless it’s an emergency.”
“I didn’t mean...I appreciate that you’re trying to help Gabriel, regardless of whether I understand or fully believe your reasons. I just thought there might’ve been a way to keep Lucifer out myself...I just wish I could do something right for a change!”
Okay, so he didn’t mean to add that last bit, but the whole thing was just so frustrating! Having to rely on everyone else meant he couldn’t keep them away from him. People who got close to him got hurt, damaged. He was dangerous to be around, and yet his selfish needs kept pulling people in.
“Sammy - Sam. I honestly believe you haven’t got a selfish bone in your whole body.” Oh, right - mind-reading. “This was never your mess to start with - you and Dean got dragged into this kicking and screaming, tricked and manipulated and prodded into a war that should’ve had nothing to do with you. If this is anyone’s mess to clean up, perhaps it’s mine. They’re my brothers, and instead of dealing with them I ran away. If anyone deserves to suffer fixing this, it’s me. And I’m not going to let you be hurt by it anymore if I can help it.”
Sam stared at Gabriel in astonishment. He’d never seen the Archangel so serious, so open. He’d thought the look he’d worn the night before had been old and careworn - now he looked positively ancient. The silence dragged out for moments that seemed like hours, neither man breaking the other’s gaze. Then, lightning quick, Gabriel’s whole face shifted and he grabbed a piece of candy out of a newly created bowl, and popped it into his now-grinning mouth.
“So, what d’ya say Sammy? Can I come toast marshmallows over your log-fire tonight? I’ll even make hot chocolate! Candy?”
Sam reached out automatically to take a piece of candy from the pro-offered bowl, thinking Gabriel’s offer over.
On the one hand, it’d be nice to spend a whole night alone in his head. But was that fair? Gabriel was offering to help him (and Sam was sure now that the offer was genuine), was it fair to make it harder on him, when he was likely to suffer for it anyway? He should be trying to limit the damage he did to those around him, not making things harder for them with his selfish desires. Gabriel said it was easier from inside, but how much easier? Because until he thought Sam might not let him in, he seemed confident that he could keep Lucifer away completely, and yet last night he’d gotten past him. Something told Sam that it was a lot harder from the outside.
“If I don’t want you in my dreams, I’ll let you know.” He couldn’t say yes. He’d spent too long conditioning himself to avoid that word at all costs. Still, did he have to phrase it like that?! He mentally kicked himself watching as Gabriel’s eyebrow rose and his grin deepened, and he let out a low chuckle.
*~*~*~*~*
Gabriel grinned in amusement as Sam’s face flushed a lovely shade of pink. He chuckled as the younger Winchester went into a mental scrabble, rounding up the rogue thoughts his unintentional dreams comment had loosed, hoping like hell that the Archangel hadn’t paid them any attention.
*Hmm...to tease, or not to tease, that is the question!*
Gabriel let his grin turn wicked for a second - *to tease, obviously!* - and then broke into a deep belly-laugh at Sam’s impression of a deer caught in the headlights.
When he finally came up for air - not that he needed it - Sam had moved to sit on top of the covers, legs crossed in front of him, and adopted bitchface #27, the ‘I am not here to be the butt of your jokes!’ bitchface. Gabriel briefly wondered exactly how bored the brothers must get driving around all the time, that they’d actually taken time out to name and label that many bitchfaces.
“Aw Sammy, lighten up - you think you’re the first person to have an inappropriate thought? I’ve seen some things in my time, you can’t even imagine what goes on in some people’s heads!” Gabriel flashed Sam another grin, giving himself a mental pat on the back when he noticed the corners of Sam’s mouth twitch upwards slightly.
“And on that note, I need a coffee.” Sam rose quickly crossing the room to find his wallet.
“Hey Sammy!” Gabriel called after him. When the hunter turned, Gabriel snapped his fingers, and a huge steaming cup of caffeine materialized in Sam’s right hand, a sugared doughnut now gracing his left. He watched as Sam stared in bewilderment, then shrugged and took a bite from the doughnut, nodding in thanks.
As he leaned against the desk Gabriel sank backwards into the comfort of his chair, absently picking at his bowl of candy while he watched Sam discreetly.
Shifting his focus slightly, he zeroed in on what lay beneath the surface, out of the range of human eye-sight. It was entirely possible that he’d done something monumentally stupid last night, and he couldn’t even bring himself to be sorry for it.
Sam’s soul was shining. Really, truly, shining. He remembered letting his Grace out a bit, praying to his Father for help for Sam, and maybe he should have been more careful. If he’d thought about it maybe he would’ve been, and now it was too late, but he refused to regret it.
Beaten and torn as it had been, tarnished by demon-blood, Sam’s soul had still been beautiful. Now, with threads of Gabriel’s Grace weaving through it, pulling the tears closed and strengthening the weakened spots, washing away the stain of the demon-blood, it was glorious.
Would Sam accept what he’d done, he wondered? He’d had no right, he hadn’t asked for permission, he’d just reached out and changed Sam in such a fundamental way, and now he found himself afraid that Sam would hate him for it. Yet again he had been just another powerful being meddling in the young man’s life without so much as a by-your-leave. He knew he’d have to tell him eventually, but he found he couldn’t bring himself to risk breaking the measure of - trust, perhaps? - that was slowly developing between them.
But trust built on a lie was too brittle to risk in their situation wasn’t it? Gabriel sighed softly, snapping away the bowl of candy as he pulled himself from the chair. As Sam raised an eyebrow in question, Gabriel took a breath.
“I...Sam, how much do you remember about last night?”
“Here or in the dream?” Sam's look turned wary, and Gabriel felt his heart clench. This was not going to go down well.
“Here. Just before you fell asleep.” Sam’s face flushed slightly in embarrassment.
“I said some things that I’d rather you kept to yourself - Cas and Dean...”
“They won’t hear it from me kid.” Sam’s face relaxed slightly, relief in his eyes. *Okay, here goes...well, here goes everything actually.* “I may have - done - something, when you were upset. Nothing bad!” He rushed to try and reassure him when Sam’s expression turned dark. “At least, I don’t think it’s bad. And I’m not sorry I did it, either. But it’s the sort of thing that you normally ask permission for first, only I didn’t realise what was happening until it was to late - got distracted trying to talk to dear old Dad...”
“Dad? You mean you were praying? But why? I thought - I mean, when you left, you cut ties, didn’t you? Why would you risk them finding you now, after all this time?”
Gabriel looked Sam right in the eyes, unable to stop his anguish showing at first, quickly pulling up a blank mask.
“It wasn’t a risk, they won’t find us. They don’t even know they should be looking for me - they think I’ve been dead for over a thousand years Sammy. If they sensed the tiny bit of Grace I let out, they wouldn’t have thought anything of it. Castiel has more Grace left than what I let out, and they haven’t found him yet.” He wasn’t touching the question about his prayer with a ten thousand foot pole. He just hoped Sam didn’t notice his avoidance. “That’s not the point anyway. The point is...”
Gabriel’s voice cut off mid-sentence, both his and Sam’s eyes darting to the door as a key jangled in the lock, muffled voices coming from outside.
Next Chapter: Chapter 5
Author: lonelyphoenix85
Rating: R, for a few foul words, and more sure to come in subsequent parts.
Genre: Songfic, Pre-slash, h/c
Pairing:Sam/Gabriel pre-slash, implied Dean/Cas
Spoilers: through to Changing Channels (5x08)
Warnings: None
Word Count: 2100 (this part, 6651 total so far)
Disclaimer: It only belongs to me when I'm dreaming! Bon Jovi owns the song, and the rest is property of the almighty Kripke!
Notes: My first SPN fic (and therefore also my first attempt at anything even vaguely resembling Sam/Gabriel) - My writing doesn't always live up to my ideas, could use a beta if anyone's interested? And many many thanks to i_sudoku for helping me with my links! You're awesome!
I don't know about everyone else, but I think we should try and get Gabriel back for S6 - I made a joking comment about starting a petition, only to be told by darkamber that there already is one here: Save Gabriel Petition
I popped straight over to sign it, and now I'm posting this in case anyone else here hasn't seen it yet *grins*
Previous chapters: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Sam’s eyes drifted open slowly, coming quickly to rest on Gabriel. The Archangel was watching him intently, looking uncharacteristically nervous.
“How long was I asleep?” He asked, sitting up quickly. Because, seriously? He hadn’t felt this good in, well, in years if he was truly honest with himself. That he had Gabriel to thank for that was all kinds of confusing. Gratitude towards the person who’d killed his brother a hundred times over? What the fuck?! He was so deep in thought he almost missed Gabriel’s answer.
“Seven hours. I kept Luci out for five, then led him around by the nose for another two.” Gabriel paused, chuckling lightly. “He’s probably spitting mad right about now! Never was one for fun and games, except when they were his.”
Seven hours. Seven. Hours. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d slept for that long, let alone to do it nightmare-free. *He didn’t do it for you! You’re just a means to an end - he’s trying to keep you from screwing up, remember?!* Sam looked away, taking a deep breath as he fought for control. He felt like an idiot for losing it earlier, he damn well wasn’t going to do it again.
“Kid, I...”
Sam looked back up as Gabriel trailed off, confused at the normally glib Archangel’s hesitation. What he saw made his chest tighten in panic. He had ‘lets talk about it’ face - he just wasn’t sure how to start. Sam couldn’t do this, not now. Not again, after last night. He was pretty sure one breakdown per week was his limit.
“Thank you.” He all but spat the words out in his haste. “I, I mean - for keeping Lucifer out. I really needed a good night’s sleep. I can deal with everything better when I’m not struggling to keep my eyes open.” *I’m fine, I don’t need any more help, there’s nothing else that needs to be talked about. I know you’re listening, so please just listen?* Okay so he was begging, pleading even - but it wasn’t out loud, which meant it didn’t really count, his pride could remain undented if the goddamned nosy Archangel would just stick to his habit of a lifetime and bulldoze straight through the concept of privacy.
Something about Gabriel’s slightly pained grin told him he’d heard, loud and clear - had probably even caught Sam’s reasoning too, but that couldn’t be helped.
“No problem Sammy! Liked the cabin, by the way - nice and cosy. Maybe tonight I’ll be able to hang around a bit longer, if Luci’s still licking his wounds.”
Logically, Sam knew that there was nothing he could do to stop the Archangel from gate-crashing his dreams (except not sleep, and that was not a clever plan, he’d tried that when Lucifer had first started his nightly cameos, and nearly gotten himself killed dropping off mid-hunt), and he also knew that like it or not, Gabriel’s help would be invaluable if he could continue to hold off his fallen brother. But still...
“Dean and Cas will be back in a few hours - they’re not going to be happy to see you, and they definitely won’t trust you to be messing around in my head.”
“It’s your head Sammy, you’re the only one who could really keep me out...”
“How?” Sam jumped on the comment, cutting Gabriel off mid-sentence. If there was a way to keep Gabriel out, then there was a way to keep Lucifer out too, surely? What he wouldn’t give to have his head to himself again!
Sam almost missed the naked hurt that flashed briefly in Gabriel’s eyes, before he quickly covered it with a quick shake of the head and soft grin.
“Ask, Sammy. I only came right in last night when Luci got past me, I had to beat him to you and get you out. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lot easier to put up barriers from inside, they’d be stronger, last longer, but I could do it from outside if you wanted me to. I won’t come back in without your permission unless it’s an emergency.”
“I didn’t mean...I appreciate that you’re trying to help Gabriel, regardless of whether I understand or fully believe your reasons. I just thought there might’ve been a way to keep Lucifer out myself...I just wish I could do something right for a change!”
Okay, so he didn’t mean to add that last bit, but the whole thing was just so frustrating! Having to rely on everyone else meant he couldn’t keep them away from him. People who got close to him got hurt, damaged. He was dangerous to be around, and yet his selfish needs kept pulling people in.
“Sammy - Sam. I honestly believe you haven’t got a selfish bone in your whole body.” Oh, right - mind-reading. “This was never your mess to start with - you and Dean got dragged into this kicking and screaming, tricked and manipulated and prodded into a war that should’ve had nothing to do with you. If this is anyone’s mess to clean up, perhaps it’s mine. They’re my brothers, and instead of dealing with them I ran away. If anyone deserves to suffer fixing this, it’s me. And I’m not going to let you be hurt by it anymore if I can help it.”
Sam stared at Gabriel in astonishment. He’d never seen the Archangel so serious, so open. He’d thought the look he’d worn the night before had been old and careworn - now he looked positively ancient. The silence dragged out for moments that seemed like hours, neither man breaking the other’s gaze. Then, lightning quick, Gabriel’s whole face shifted and he grabbed a piece of candy out of a newly created bowl, and popped it into his now-grinning mouth.
“So, what d’ya say Sammy? Can I come toast marshmallows over your log-fire tonight? I’ll even make hot chocolate! Candy?”
Sam reached out automatically to take a piece of candy from the pro-offered bowl, thinking Gabriel’s offer over.
On the one hand, it’d be nice to spend a whole night alone in his head. But was that fair? Gabriel was offering to help him (and Sam was sure now that the offer was genuine), was it fair to make it harder on him, when he was likely to suffer for it anyway? He should be trying to limit the damage he did to those around him, not making things harder for them with his selfish desires. Gabriel said it was easier from inside, but how much easier? Because until he thought Sam might not let him in, he seemed confident that he could keep Lucifer away completely, and yet last night he’d gotten past him. Something told Sam that it was a lot harder from the outside.
“If I don’t want you in my dreams, I’ll let you know.” He couldn’t say yes. He’d spent too long conditioning himself to avoid that word at all costs. Still, did he have to phrase it like that?! He mentally kicked himself watching as Gabriel’s eyebrow rose and his grin deepened, and he let out a low chuckle.
*~*~*~*~*
Gabriel grinned in amusement as Sam’s face flushed a lovely shade of pink. He chuckled as the younger Winchester went into a mental scrabble, rounding up the rogue thoughts his unintentional dreams comment had loosed, hoping like hell that the Archangel hadn’t paid them any attention.
*Hmm...to tease, or not to tease, that is the question!*
Gabriel let his grin turn wicked for a second - *to tease, obviously!* - and then broke into a deep belly-laugh at Sam’s impression of a deer caught in the headlights.
When he finally came up for air - not that he needed it - Sam had moved to sit on top of the covers, legs crossed in front of him, and adopted bitchface #27, the ‘I am not here to be the butt of your jokes!’ bitchface. Gabriel briefly wondered exactly how bored the brothers must get driving around all the time, that they’d actually taken time out to name and label that many bitchfaces.
“Aw Sammy, lighten up - you think you’re the first person to have an inappropriate thought? I’ve seen some things in my time, you can’t even imagine what goes on in some people’s heads!” Gabriel flashed Sam another grin, giving himself a mental pat on the back when he noticed the corners of Sam’s mouth twitch upwards slightly.
“And on that note, I need a coffee.” Sam rose quickly crossing the room to find his wallet.
“Hey Sammy!” Gabriel called after him. When the hunter turned, Gabriel snapped his fingers, and a huge steaming cup of caffeine materialized in Sam’s right hand, a sugared doughnut now gracing his left. He watched as Sam stared in bewilderment, then shrugged and took a bite from the doughnut, nodding in thanks.
As he leaned against the desk Gabriel sank backwards into the comfort of his chair, absently picking at his bowl of candy while he watched Sam discreetly.
Shifting his focus slightly, he zeroed in on what lay beneath the surface, out of the range of human eye-sight. It was entirely possible that he’d done something monumentally stupid last night, and he couldn’t even bring himself to be sorry for it.
Sam’s soul was shining. Really, truly, shining. He remembered letting his Grace out a bit, praying to his Father for help for Sam, and maybe he should have been more careful. If he’d thought about it maybe he would’ve been, and now it was too late, but he refused to regret it.
Beaten and torn as it had been, tarnished by demon-blood, Sam’s soul had still been beautiful. Now, with threads of Gabriel’s Grace weaving through it, pulling the tears closed and strengthening the weakened spots, washing away the stain of the demon-blood, it was glorious.
Would Sam accept what he’d done, he wondered? He’d had no right, he hadn’t asked for permission, he’d just reached out and changed Sam in such a fundamental way, and now he found himself afraid that Sam would hate him for it. Yet again he had been just another powerful being meddling in the young man’s life without so much as a by-your-leave. He knew he’d have to tell him eventually, but he found he couldn’t bring himself to risk breaking the measure of - trust, perhaps? - that was slowly developing between them.
But trust built on a lie was too brittle to risk in their situation wasn’t it? Gabriel sighed softly, snapping away the bowl of candy as he pulled himself from the chair. As Sam raised an eyebrow in question, Gabriel took a breath.
“I...Sam, how much do you remember about last night?”
“Here or in the dream?” Sam's look turned wary, and Gabriel felt his heart clench. This was not going to go down well.
“Here. Just before you fell asleep.” Sam’s face flushed slightly in embarrassment.
“I said some things that I’d rather you kept to yourself - Cas and Dean...”
“They won’t hear it from me kid.” Sam’s face relaxed slightly, relief in his eyes. *Okay, here goes...well, here goes everything actually.* “I may have - done - something, when you were upset. Nothing bad!” He rushed to try and reassure him when Sam’s expression turned dark. “At least, I don’t think it’s bad. And I’m not sorry I did it, either. But it’s the sort of thing that you normally ask permission for first, only I didn’t realise what was happening until it was to late - got distracted trying to talk to dear old Dad...”
“Dad? You mean you were praying? But why? I thought - I mean, when you left, you cut ties, didn’t you? Why would you risk them finding you now, after all this time?”
Gabriel looked Sam right in the eyes, unable to stop his anguish showing at first, quickly pulling up a blank mask.
“It wasn’t a risk, they won’t find us. They don’t even know they should be looking for me - they think I’ve been dead for over a thousand years Sammy. If they sensed the tiny bit of Grace I let out, they wouldn’t have thought anything of it. Castiel has more Grace left than what I let out, and they haven’t found him yet.” He wasn’t touching the question about his prayer with a ten thousand foot pole. He just hoped Sam didn’t notice his avoidance. “That’s not the point anyway. The point is...”
Gabriel’s voice cut off mid-sentence, both his and Sam’s eyes darting to the door as a key jangled in the lock, muffled voices coming from outside.
Next Chapter: Chapter 5