FIC: Not Where I Belong, Part 5
Title: Not Where I Belong, Part 5
Author: lls_mutant
Fic Summary: Tory might have pulled her from the launch tube, but Cally's life still felt like it was over. Everything she loved was gone, or at the very least, changed to something that she hated.
Chapter Summary: Gaeta's plan might be dangerous, but they're all getting desperate.
Warnings: Suicidal thoughts (Cally), suicide (not Cally)
Pairings: Canon pairings, Galen is important in the story, but it's more gen.
Author's Notes : What Nicky retcon? Also, although I changed a few events to suit our purposes, most of this universe follows canon… just with Cally alive.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
The thumping of boots announced the arrival of Marines on the hangar bay. Cally paused in her examination of the port gun on Racetrack's Raptor. "What the frak?"
Racetrack leaned around the Raptor. "Got me. They're not calling action stations or anything." She studied the Marines, looking almost identical in their heavy uniforms and blank expressions. "I see Caroline in there, though. We'll get the story from her later."
The story became extremely clear, however, when another Raptor taxied into place. The hatch opened, and two armed Marines escorted a cuffed Tom Zarek out. The waiting Marines took up a guard, and they escorted him out of the bay, presumably to the brig.
Cally and Racetrack watched them pass, eyes wide. "What did he do?" Racetrack asked breathlessly. "I haven't heard anything since New Caprica."
"There was the Circle," Cally muttered, "but Hoshi said they took care of that, and that the brass knew about it." She glanced sideways at Racetrack and chose her next words carefully. "We could always ask Gaeta about it later. I'll bet he knows what's going on."
Racetrack faced Cally fully, considering her. Cally turned and met her eyes, and Racetrack smiled.
"Yeah," she said. "I'll bet he does, doesn't he?"
***
As it turned out, they didn't have to ask Gaeta anything. They found him in the rec room that night, arguing with Dee as they sat at a table, with a large audience watching.
"There's no reason for the brass to lock him up!" Gaeta was saying. "He did nothing that went against the Articles!"
"He refused an order from the Admiral! He encouraged mutiny and sedition!" Dee said passionately. "And do you know why he did it, Felix?"
"Oh, I don't know, because the people of the Hitei Kan don't want the Cylons tampering with their FTL drive, installing technology that none of us understands?"
"If I believed that was why he really did it, I might- might- agree with you. But this is Tom Zarek! This is a man who has no problem killing off any number of people for power!"
"That's not how it works! He has a vision, and while I admit-"
"A vision," Dee scoffed. She was still sitting, but she was on the edge of her chair, and her knuckles were white. "Felix, when are you going to wake up and see that not everyone is the idealist you are? Open your eyes!"
"I never said he was an idealist," Gaeta snapped. "I just don't think he's a murderer!"
"For frak's sake, he ordered your murder after New Caprica!" Dee fumed. "Remember? An airlock tube and a jury of six angry men? Is any of this ringing a bell?"
Cally had the impression that that one struck bone. Gaeta closed his eyes for a long moment and rubbed his forehead. But when he opened them, he ground out, "He did what he thought was right. Justice needed to be paid for New Caprica, for people who made that possible."
"And you didn't!" Dee fumed. "You were the inside source! You were doing everything you could to get people off of New Caprica! And all the thanks you got was a farce of a trial and a staved execution sentence!"
"And that was a risk I had to take," Gaeta said. "That's the point of being an inside source- no one knows who you are."
Dee stared at him, open mouthed. "I can't believe you," she said finally. "I don't know what's gotten into you, Felix, what could possibly make you believe that Tom Zarek is a better choice than Laura Roslin-"
"Who is doing nothing!" The fire was back in Gaeta's eyes now. "She led us to this wasteland of a planet based on what? Chamalla induced hallucinations that she claimed were prophecies? Where did her gods lead us, Dee? The nuked out, frakking Cylon homeworld! That's where we ended up! And instead of doing anything about it, or pulling out some sort of plan B, she holes up in the middle of her room and does nothing! And that's fine, okay? She's done, and that's fine! But she should step aside and let the Vice President do his job!"
"The mass murderer-"
"That she put in power when she took his place after New Caprica!" Gaeta took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes, and Cally remembered how he'd looked that night in Joe's, after the Raptor. It sent chills down her spine, and his next words proved her gut instincts right. "Or do you like it that way, Dee? Do you want the Vice President shoved aside so that your ex-husband can take over, extending the Adama aristocracy? Is this about Zarek, or is this about President Adama?"
"Why, you…" Dee finally stood. Cally didn't think she'd ever seen her so furious.
Gaeta leaned back, draping his arm over the back of his chair. "Wouldn't be the first time you've tried to pick your President, Dee. Remember? Back before-"
Dee smacked him.
The rec room went still. No one moved a muscle; no one even dared to take a deep breath.
Dee leaned in across the table. "I search across space for you, call in one of the few remaining favors I've probably got from the Old Man, and this is what you say to me?" Her voice was low and angry, and Cally found she couldn't swallow. "This is the thanks I get?"
Gaeta looked her straight in the eye. "Yes, Dee. This is the thanks you get for saving my ass."
Dee looked like she wanted to say more, but she pressed her lips together so tightly that they turned white. "Fine," she said, pulling up. "Talk to me when you have more sense, Felix. I'm leaving."
She stormed gracefully from the room, not even looking at Cally and Racetrack. A few people followed her, some of them casting disgusted looks at Gaeta.
"What was that about?" Racetrack asked angrily, taking Dee's seat.
Gaeta lit a cigarette. "Dee knows me too well," he said, and then took a deep drag. "I need her off my case for a few days."
So Gaeta wasn't just talking idly in the bar the other night. He meant the things he said about the problems in the leadership, the ineffectiveness, the disappointments that were spiraling out of control. Cally shivered.
"You aren't bringing Dee in on this?" Racetrack asked calmly.
"Frak, no."
Racetrack looked like she wanted to say more, but Gaeta's expression didn't invite conversation.
"So. Gaeta." Narcho plopped himself down in the chair next to Racetrack. He pushed the chair opposite out from him with his foot, and Cally finally sat. "I take it this lovely little bridge bunny battle was brought to us by the incarceration of our Vice President?"
"For encouraging citizens to make a peaceful protest against the Cylons boarding their ships without permission, yes," Gaeta said.
Narcho reached over and pulled a cigarette out of the box Gaeta had set on the table. "Keep talking, man, because believe me, I am all ears, and I'd really like to hear what someone who- how did Dualla put it?- tried to get everyone off New Caprica and just got a farce of a trial and a staved execution sentence? Yeah. I'm really curious to hear what you have to say about all this."
Gaeta glanced at Racetrack, and she nodded, just slightly. He leaned forward lit Narcho's cigarette. Then he glanced around at the thinned crowd. "Anyone else want one?" he held up the pack.
A few people walked away, but Cally noticed that even though not everyone lit theirs, everyone who stayed took one. She took one herself, lighting it off Racetrack's.
"All right," Gaeta said. "Let's talk."
***
"Did you take note of how many we had, Cally?" Gaeta asked when most of the crowd had dispersed for the night.
"Thirty-two by the end," Cally said.
"And did you start talking to the deck crew?" Gaeta looked exhausted, but his eyes were still burning with intensity.
"I started feeling a few out," Cally said. "I don't know how much support you've got down there. It's tough to tell."
"Right. What about the ones that came over from the Pegasus?"
"That's where you're going to have your best support," Cally admitted. "The problem is a lot of the ones that you can count on aren't exactly the kind of people you want to count on."
Gaeta sighed. "I can't be picky." He glanced over to his right. "Noel. You can help me sort out who's reliable from the Pegasus crew?"
Narcho nodded. "I can to an extent. Don't know the knuckledraggers so well."
Gaeta rubbed his forehead. "All right. What I really want to know is who's trigger happy. If we're going to do this, it's going to be with as little bloodshed as possible."
Racetrack and Narcho exchanged glances. Cally saw their skepticism, but neither of them said a word. Instead, they just nodded and began listing names, adding their own opinions. Gaeta didn't take notes, but he listened intently to every word they had to say.
Cally listened with half her mind, but she found herself drifting, watching the streams of smoke rising from the cigarettes and swirling in the ventilation stream. A part of her couldn't believe they were talking like this.
Mutiny. It was the first time she'd whispered the word, even in the recesses of her own mind.
She took another drag on her cigarette- her third of the night- to steady herself. Normally she wasn't much of a smoker, but tonight seemed like a good time to pretend.
Gaeta was leaning over, rubbing at the end of his stump like he was in pain. Cally glanced at him inquiringly, but he just shook his head. She wondered what Hoshi would do if he was here. Would he drag Gaeta's ass off to bed right now? He looked like he could use it. But of course, Hoshi wasn't here right now, because he was- she angrily stubbed out her cigarette, not wanting to continue down that line of thought.
"When are you planning on doing this?" she heard herself asking.
Gaeta made a face. "We can't wait too much longer," he said. "This is the kind of thing where we've got to strike while we can, before someone gets cold feet and changes their mind. We need the element of surprise, or we're frakked. But I want to see if we can get a little more support, first. I'm going to see what I can get tomorrow, in the mess hall. We'll go from there." He looked at his watch. "You guys need sleep," he said.
"So do you." It was Narcho that said it. He stood up. "Let's call it a night before it gets obvious, shall we?"
Cally stood up quickly. "Sounds good to me."
Gaeta nodded. "All right," he said. He looked from Narcho to Racetrack to Cally. "I don't think I need to tell you that we need to be discreet. I'll let you know when we'll meet again, all right? Until then… keep your heads down."
"Yes, sir," Narcho said, and Racetrack echoed him, saluting.
"Yes, sir," Cally said, just a beat behind them. Yes, sir. It was the proper response regardless, but it had never sounded so strange in her ears.
***
She was tired- every bone in her body was screaming for rest- but she didn't go back to the barracks. Instead, she found herself wandering to Remembrance Hall again. It was empty at this time of night, and she was free to look at the faces in peace.
Once upon a time, back in the first horrible days of the attack, she'd put a picture of her own family up here. Her father, her mother, her four brothers. They were all sitting in a cheap chain store studio, with a dark mottled background and smiles that indicated they'd all be a lot more comfortable in something besides the starched clothes and shined shoes that they were wearing. Even her father looked uncomfortable. But it was the last picture taken of all seven of them, and Cally loved it for that alone.
There was a strange clacking sound, and she drew back from the wall, looking around hurriedly until she spotted Gaeta at the far end. He took the a picture out of his pocket, stared at it for a long time, hesitated, and then put the picture back in his jacket pocket. Cally's throat closed. On the one hand, she understood why he couldn't let go, and yet… Hoshi belonged on the Wall, where people who were loved were remembered.
Gaeta caught her watching him. "I thought you were going to bed."
"I thought you were, too."
He smiled and limped down towards her. "That your family?" he asked, looking at the picture. Cally nodded. "Nice."
"Is yours up here?"
"At the other end of the hall," Gaeta said. He didn't offer to walk down and show her, and Cally didn't push. She could see where there were scratches on his neck from the fight with the Eight on the Raptor, and she looked away hurriedly. "I still haven't put Louis up," Gaeta said.
"I know," Cally said. She chewed her lip for a moment. "Do you want me to do it?"
Gaeta thought about it, then shook his head. "Not yet," he said, to Cally's relief. "I really should, I know. It's just…" he trailed off, his eyes far away. Cally thought for a minute he might break down, but he snapped out of it and changed the subject entirely.
"There's one thing I needed to ask you. Are you sure you're going to be okay with this? With Tyrol?"
Cally nodded. "I am," she said. She thought of the fury and the pain she'd felt when she'd found out he was a Cylon, and the feeling of the wrench in her hands. "I can do this."
Gaeta's eyes were boring into her. But she looked around at the faces here, all of them killed by the very… things they were now supposed to ally with, and she shivered. "I will be fine," she said, and her voice didn't tremble at all.
Gaeta didn't answer for a long moment, and then he nodded. "All right," he said. He softened, and his shoulders slumped forward. But he didn't leave.
"Where do you think you're going to put him?" Cally asked.
"What?"
"When you hang Hoshi. Where are you going to put him?"
"I don't know," Gaeta confessed. "That’s part of it, I guess. I just can't seem to find the right spot. Where would you hang him?"
"Next to Jammer," Cally said immediately.
"Really? Why?"
Cally shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "There's an injustice there in both their deaths, I guess. Or maybe because I was looking at Jammer's picture when I told Hoshi about the Cylons. I don't know. Or they were the same kind of friend to me. I don't really know why."
Gaeta considered it, and then shrugged. "Good as place as any, I guess," he said. He dug in his pocket and handed her the picture. "Not right now," he said. "Do it sometime when I can't see you do it."
Cally accepted the picture gravely, not betraying any of her reluctance to do so. "All right."
Gaeta smiled once more at her, but he didn't leave. He lingered in the Hall, and it was Cally that drifted away first. As she left, she heard his voice, low and steady, reciting a list of names. People he wanted to recruit, most likely.
It wasn't until she was almost in her bunk that she realized the names Gaeta was reciting were people that were dead.
***
Cally and Racetrack were eating lunch together, sitting on the wings of a Raptor. Although this was hardly a new practice for them, Cally felt very conspicuous, like everyone knew what they were up to.
"Don't be so jumpy," Racetrack laughed breezily when Cally nearly fell off the wing when Laird came over. "He was looking for a pair of pliers, for frak's sake."
"I know," Cally said. She opened her mouth to say more when Seelix leaned against their wing.
"Wow, did you guys miss some show eating down here," she said darkly.
"Yeah?" Racetrack said. "What happened?"
"You ever seen Gaeta and Starbuck fighting?" Seelix asked. Her tone was light, but her eyes were very dark and angry. "Never seen such a catfight in all my life."
Cally nearly choked on her algae. "She didn't hit him, did she?" she asked when she could speak.
"No, but the bitch threatened to at the end," Seelix said. She folded her forearms against the wing. "Gods, she drags us all the way across space to find nothing- and I mean, nothing- we could have found the waste that Earth was from her frakking Viper, which was here on Galactica, and her husband shoots Gaeta's leg off, and she still waltzes around like she frakking owns the place. And the Admiral just backs her up! What was the point of those two months of misery except hauling that baseship back here?"
"You're preaching to the choir," Racetrack said. She leaned in. "He did quite a performance with Dee last night, too, if you missed that one."
"I heard they had some big fight," Seelix said. "I didn't know Dee was in on it."
"She's not," Racetrack said. "But I think he was trying to piss her off."
"I see." Seelix rubbed her chin. "Lot of people stuck around to hear what he had to say after Starbuck left," she said.
"Yeah," Racetrack agreed, nodding. "A lot of people did last night, too."
Seelix looked from Racetrack to Cally and back, and then lowered her voice even more. "So Dee's out. What about Caroline?"
"Don't even ask her," Racetrack warned. "Caroline will take up arms for Adama no matter what; you know that."
"Thought so," Seelix sighed. "Danielle?"
Cally thought of Danielle, and her stomach froze. Danielle wasn't a soldier- not really. She was someone that had originally been on board a Geminon cruiser, taking a break with some girlfriends. She'd enlisted after New Caprica, because she said she was tired of letting everyone else save her own ass. She was strong, she had guts, and she had more common sense than anyone gave her credit for. But Cally still couldn't think of her as a soldier. Not in this.
"I'll take care of Danielle," she said suddenly, and as the words left her mouth, she knew exactly what she was going to do.
Racetrack and Seelix both smiled at her with approval.
***
"Okay, you swear to the gods you won't tell anyone about this?" Cally begged.
"I won't!" Danielle insisted. "Tell me!"
"Swear it," Cally ordered.
Danielle rolled her eyes. "Fine. I swear it."
"To the gods."
"To the gods! Cally, what's going on?"
They were alone in the bunkroom, but Cally looked around anyway, just to be sure. Then she leaned in and lowered her voice. "Galen and I… we've been talking. And there's a counselor on another ship, one that's got some experience in helping couples work out their problems."
"A marriage counselor?" Danielle asked. Her eyes widened. "Wow," she said neutrally, "that's big."
"I know. I don't know that anything will come of it, but even if we can learn to be civil to each other, it's best for Nicky."
"Definitely," Danielle's agreement to that was swift and whole-hearted.
"The thing is Nicky," Cally said. "It's an all-day thing, and we can't take Nicky to it. I took a look at the roster, and I can take both you and Tony off it if you guys can watch Nicky for us."
"Sure, but-"
"Thanks!" Cally said, before Danielle could protest. "Just keep him in our quarters. Galen will be out all day- I know he's planning on working with the brass and the Cylons on the FTL upgrades." Cally couldn't control the face that she made when she said that, and she noticed that Danielle winced as well. "Just keep Nicky in our quarters."
"It shouldn't take two of us, though," Danielle argued. "I can handle Nicky on my own."
"I know." Cally had considered this. "But both you and Figurski deserve the day off, and besides- are you really going to complain about spending the day with him? Just… if you frak in the bed, change the sheets and don't tell me, okay?" Danielle flared red, and Cally laughed. "Seriously. It's lonely when you're in there all day alone. I know you can do it, but why should you? Take Tony with you, and whatever you do, stay in the quarters."
"All right," Danielle laughed, holding her hands up. "I get it, Cally. We'll do it."
Cally relaxed. "Thanks, Danielle. I'll owe you."
***
2200 hours. Weapons Locker 1701D
The note was on her bed, like a bad dream repeating. Cally shuddered and crumpled it in her hand.
Of all places, this was the last place on Galactica that she wanted to go.
***
"Racetrack, you're clear on the escape, right?" Gaeta asked.
"Yes, sir."
It was a small group: Racetrack, Narcho, Seelix, Conner, two Marines, and two civilians. Cally realized these were the people that Gaeta had tapped as his loyal core… and as his command unit. That didn't surprise her, because smaller gatherings attracted far less attention. What surprised her was that she was the only deckhand present.
"Gunny, we’re clear in the CIC, right? You do not fire until I give the order."
"Understood, sir."
Gaeta shifted in the chair someone had dragged in for him. "It's not just keeping the bloodshed to a minimum," he said. "It's that if this is going to work, I need as little damage to the CIC as possible. The senior officers are going into custody- running the place will be hard enough without them. I don't need my guys dealing with shorts and bullet holes as well."
"Yes, sir."
"If we have to fire, I'll order it. But one thing I want absolutely, completely clear," Gaeta leaned in. "No one touches Lieutenant Dualla. She goes into the brig as fast as you can get her there, and you pick two people you trust entirely to guard her. She doesn't get a chance to make a decision, to swear loyalty to me or to Adama. You understand?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good." Gaeta pinched his nose. "We've got to neutralize the big threats- the ones that are the most loyal to Adama and in the biggest position to make trouble for us. Starbuck, Anders, Tigh, Tyrol, the Agathons…" he sighed heavily, addressing the other Marine. "Whoever you send after the Agathons, make sure that Hera stays with her mother."
That hit Cally like a punch in the stomach, and she stared at Gaeta in horror. "Are you planning on doing something to Hera?" she demanded. And to Nicky? was the question she couldn't even ask.
Gaeta shook his head. "No. Absolutely not. But if Hera is separated from her, Sharon will do everything she can to get her child back. If they're together, we've got a better chance of controlling her. Same goes for Helo, although he's not as much of a physical threat as Sharon is." He sighed. "I have no intention of harming Hera, Cally. Or Nicky. I promise."
Cally nodded stiffly, and Gaeta turned back to the Marine. "Also, whoever you send after the Agathons, bear in mind that Sharon is a Cylon, and she's got the strength of one, plus you have Helo. Send a larger contingent."
"Yes, sir."
"Cally. If anything happens to Laird, or if he refuses to cooperate, you are Chief. You keep those birds in the air, no matter what. Understand?"
"Yes, sir," Cally said.
"You aren't going to need to explain anything. If anyone asks- and they probably won't- it's just orders. I'm hoping there won't be any birds in play, but it may come to that. Keep as many people as you can in the dark, and just keep them focused on their job."
"Yes, sir." Something in Cally relaxed. This was something she could do. But Gaeta wasn't finished.
"We're short on hands, so I'm also going to need you to keep an eye on the weapons locker that's near the deck- 1904. Don't let anyone in unless they tell you that Louis sent them. Can you do that?"
Cally nodded mutely, her throat closing. Louis sent them. Gaeta was staring at her, his face hard, his eyes narrow, watching and weighing every bit of her reaction. She didn't want to fail him- not this time. She managed to speak.
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Connor, Seelix, Noel… stick around a little longer. Best we don't leave all at once anyway. But the rest of you… unless you have any questions, get going. We're on for tomorrow."
"Yes, sir," Cally said. She started towards the hatch. Racetrack whispered something to Seelix, who nodded, and then followed her.
"What was that all about?" Cally asked when the hatch had shut firmly behind them and the others had gone their own ways.
Racetrack looked grave. "I was just thinking," she said slowly, and there was none of her normal casual frak-em-all bitterness, "tomorrow… a lot of things are going to change. And people are probably going to die."
"Getting cold feet?" Cally asked.
"No. But I was just thinking that… well, we should get a drink. With Danielle and Caroline and Dee."
It was the closest Cally had come to crying since she'd broken down in the Raptor after Hoshi's funeral. She swallowed hard for a long moment, trying to talk. Finally, she managed a nod.
In the dim light of the corridor, she saw a tear streak down Racetrack's face.
***
"To the frakery of men!" Racetrack shouted, standing on the table.
"To the frakery of men!" the others echoed, holding up their glasses.
Racetrack put her hand over her heart. "To our Admiral, who forgot a Plan B, and our Colonel, who is a toaster."
"To the Admiral and the Colonel!" they all chorused, and drank.
"To Sam Anders," Seelix announced, holding up her drink. "Who showed me that even the most faithful can be dogs with no taste."
"To Sam Anders!"
Caroline joined in. "To Tom Zarek, who uses every opportunity he can for a lesson in civil disobedience, rather than see what's necessary for survival."
"To the Vice President!"
"To Lee Adama and Galen Tyrol," Danielle said, "who manage to treat their wives like shit and still walk around with everyone thinking they smell like roses."
"To Lee and Galen!"
"Damn, you took mine," Cally muttered. She thought for a moment. "To Gaius Baltar, who led us to New Caprica and was rewarded with a harem full of women!"
"To Gaius Baltar!"
They all looked expectantly at Dee, who didn't disappoint. "To my best friend, Felix Gaeta, who has his head so far up his own ass he can't see a damn thing straight!"
"To Felix Gaeta!"
Racetrack hiccuped, and then cleared her throat. "To these men… to these thick-headed, clunkified, idiot men. To the men who we don't toast tonight, because they currently aren't frakking up. To my co-pilot, Skulls, who's always got my back. To Laird, who's been through hell that none of us can imagine, but keeps doing his job because it's all he's got left. To Figurski, who makes Danielle smile and has the sense to appreciate he's got one of the best women in the Fleet. To Doc Cottle, who should run the world. To Billy, to Jammer, to Hoshi, who all deserved better than they got, but so do we all. To our men. To the men of this Fleet. Because without them…" Racetrack wobbled dangerously again, and put her hand on Cally's head to steady herself. "Gods know what we'd do without them. Because when I think about what life would be like without them, I imagine the Fleet being run by Laura Roslin and Helena Cain, and I don't think we'd really do much better without them. We're all frak ups, and we're all heroes. And we all pay the price. So say we all."
"So say we all!"
They were laughing then, all of them, laughing and hugging. Cally laughed until her sides hurt and tears rolled down her face, one arm around Dee and one around Caroline. She saw Racetrack hugging Danielle, Seelix on Dee's other side. There was music playing on the wireless and people were looking at the funny, but Cally kept laughing until her abdomen ached and she had to sit down. The lights whirled in her vision, and she desperately wished she could stop time right here, right now.
It hurt knowing the future, and that this was the last time they would ever all drink together.
***
The alarm went off, and Cally's eyes snapped open. She'd never really fallen asleep.
Keep the birds in the air. Just keep the birds in the air. She focused on those parts of her orders, the part she understood. The part she was used to. She could do that.
She scrubbed her face with her hands and got up to check on Nicky. Nicky was still asleep in his crib, knees tucked under him and butt in the air, his little fist under his cheek. She reached down and touched his curls gently, the sight of him tugging at her heart.
"We were crazy to have you," she whispered to him. "But I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm sorry, Nicky. I don't want to do this. But maybe… maybe we can find someplace that's safe, where we aren't going to end up right back on New Caprica, with the Cylons breathing down our necks. You deserve better than what we've been able to give you, and maybe this way, you can have it. Gods, I hope so."
She leaned over the rails and kissed him, and then went to get dressed.
***
The walkie talkie on her belt buzzed quietly, with only the occasional burst of orders and acknowledgements. Every one made her jump, just a little, and she was sure someone would catch on to what was going on. But no one seemed to notice.
She caught one of the deckhands. "Where's Laird? Or Chief?"
"Haven't seen Chief," the deckhand told her, "but Laird's probably off filing some paperwork. There was a tylium spill right before this shift."
"Right. Thanks." That made Cally's throat close. The tylium spill meant that Gaeta had gotten Zarek out of the brig and they were gone. This was really happening. But she kept walking forward, her boots sounding loud in her ears against the metal grating.
She glanced at her watch. It had to be happening soon.
She shivered.
***
The first gunshots she heard were on the hangar bay, sharp and distinct. Cally wasn't sure what they could be from- it wasn't a firefight. Not like she was expecting.
"What the frak is going on?" someone demanded.
Cally opened her eyes as wide as she could. "I have no frakking idea. But we'd better get the work going on these birds." She glanced around- still no sign of Laird. "All right!" she shouted, because no one else was taking charge. "Let's get this shift moving! Casper, French, and Liu, you're on number 812! Crispins, Garrano, and Henson! You're on 946!" She kept going down the list, her voice straining as she shouted.
Keep the birds in the air. She could do that.
In the distance, somewhere on the ship, she heard the sounds of gunfire again.
***
Her walkie talkie sprang to life at 0940 hours. Gaeta's voice, quick, hard, and official. "The CIC is ours. Galactica is ours. The CIC senior staff is in custody. Hold the ship."
Cally closed her eyes. It was almost over. The just needed to stabilize, to get everything to where it should be… and then they would be able to jump away from the Cylons, find a home, and build lives again.
But she still heard the sounds of gunfire, and it sounded like the were getting closer.
***
A scream. A loud, piercing scream that bounced off the cavernous walls of the hangar deck.
"What is it?" Cally demanded, running down the steps.
"It's Laird," Gianna told her, looking up from a corpse with a horrified expression. "He's dead."
Cally realized she'd known it all morning, and her stomach turned.
***
They had Galen. They had to have him by now. The thought came to Cally as she was doing the post-flight check on a Viper, and it stopped her cold. Galen was in that Cylon brig.
She firmly reminded herself that he was a Cylon, and she focused on her work. This was what they were fighting for- for humans and Cylons to go their separate ways.
Right.
***
More gunshots. Not on the deck though, and Cally wondered why. Were both sides being smart enough not to damage the assets here? Or was it just they hadn't gotten here yet?
The crew was coming to her with their problems and their questions. With Galen gone, Laird dead, and Figurski supposedly missing in action but really locked up in the Tyrol quarters with Danielle and Nicky (Cally prayed), she was the senior knuckledragger. She wished she knew what her crew was thinking. But there was no time for wishing. She kept moving through the hangar deck, her focus on her job.
Keep the birds in the air.
This was what she lived for right now. This was her sole purpose in life. She could do this.
***
"Cally. It's Gage. Prepare the deck; Colonial One is docking."
"Colonial One?" Cally asked, confusedly. That wasn't something Gaeta had ever mentioned. But then, Cally realized, Gaeta had never told anyone the entire way he saw this playing out.
She saw the Raptor shuttling the ship in, and when Racetrack climbed out, she almost cried out in relief. But Racetrack didn't look at her, just focused on her own job. Cally watched as she and Zarek walked out of the hangar deck together, escorted by Marines.
She didn't know why she felt so cold.
***
"How many are dead?"
"Gods know. I've heard it could be in the hundreds."
"Gaeta. Who would have thought it of Gaeta?"
"I know. I'm afraid to go up there."
"I'm afraid to go anywhere. I keep hearing the guns- and did you hear that explosion?"
They were whispering. Cally ignored them all as she walked through the rows of Vipers, ready and waiting.
A deckhand was in the corner, crying. She ignored him, too.
"Clear the way!" someone new shouted.
"Take her to the infirmary!"
"Can't get there- someone's closed it off."
"Who? Our side or theirs?"
"Which is which?"
"I don't frakking know! But someone help her! She's dying!"
"Well, whose side is she on?"
"Does it matter? She's dying."
Cally closed her eyes, leaning her cheek against a Raptor. The cool metal grounded her, held her here on the safety of the deck.
"Cally. Cally! CHIEF! Get over here! We need you now!"
Her eyes flared open, and she looked at the number on the Raptor.
718.
***
"Cally." It was Gaeta's voice on the walkie-talkie.
"Yes, sir."
"I'm getting reports of activity down near you. I think they're headed for the weapons locker."
Her other job. Somehow, Cally had forgotten about that. She swallowed hard. "I'm on it, sir," she said.
"Good. I knew I could count on you."
The Raptor was still right there, burning through her skin. 718. She saw Hoshi in front of her, his mouth forming the words as he leaned against it. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "All down the line, sir," she said, her mouth dry.
"I'll be right back," she informed French. "I've got to-" Frak that, she was Chief. She didn't need to explain a damn thing.
No one was near the weapons locker, although she could hear the fighting down the hall. She entered the code Gaeta had given her quickly and slipped inside. Best to do this alone. Gods knew who on that deck she could trust.
It was quiet in here, and she took a minute to savor it. But when she heard the echo of gunfire, and she sprang back into action, searching the racks for a gun she felt comfortable with. She finally found one- small, but a bullet from a handgun did just as effective damage as a bullet from a machine gun at close range. Maybe not as extensive, but dead was dead. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and took a deep breath.
Nothing but silence. And somehow, that was worse.
***
She'd been in the locker for fifteen minutes when she heard it. A scratching, like an animal moving in the walls. Cally tightened her grip on her gun, her mouth drying out. She imagined New Caprica, and the lights that flooded the darkness and the barbed wire. She remembered the days in the prison cell, not sure if Nicky would live or die- not sure if she would live or die. She remembered Galen's anguished face, explosions and blood. She thought of her family, of her home, of the Colonies, of her old boyfriends, of her dreams of dental school and a conferences and patients and a better life than she'd grown up in. And she raised her gun.
The noise was coming from the grate.
Not a force then. Cally could handle this. She waited, because timing was everything and if they knew she was here they'd be able to run or to fight. She breathed as softly as she could, watching as the intruder wiggled the grate free and then exploded out of the vent and collapsed on the floor.
Galen.
He looked up at her, and Cally was hit by the impact of his eyes fastened on hers. For the first time since the Ionian nebula, she was seeing the man she'd married, not the Cylon that had taken his place. But Galen looked at her standing over him and closed his eyes.
"Go ahead, Cally," he said, gasping for breath. "Just shoot me now."
She remembered shooting Boomer; the gun in her hand, the hot revenge and triumph as Boomer fell, the drip of blood onto the grated floor. She'd never regretted it, and if she had it to do over again, she'd do the exact same thing. And the gun burned in her hand now. It was her job, just like keeping the birds in the air. She was a soldier, she'd chosen her side, and these were her orders. And he was a Cylon, for frak's sake. She'd nearly killed him once before.
Galen opened his eyes. "Come on, Cally. Just do it."
Her gun was shaking. She stared at it for a long moment before she realized she was shaking. Galen still just lay there, waiting for the shot, but she couldn't do it. She lowered her gun.
Galen let out a sigh accompanied by a bitter sort of smile.
"Frakked up day, isn't it?" he said. Cally nodded. "What the hell is going on?" Cally opened her mouth, but no answer came out. Galen closed his eyes again. "Guess it doesn't matter much, does it? Not right now. Where's Nicky?"
Her voice started working again, enough to say, "Home. Danielle and Figurski are watching him."
Galen's eyes snapped open. "Danielle and Figurski? You really thought about this, didn't you?"
"It was planned," Cally said.
"Who's behind it?"
"Gaeta."
"Gaeta." Galen said it with a bitterness that evoked New Caprica, and nights in their tent after unsuccessful days of trying to help his people. She remembered the way the lamps lit his face, remembered telling him to keep the volume down on his rants because he'd wake the baby. "I should have known," Galen muttered. "There's always a reckoning."
One day soon, guys like Gaeta are gonna hang. Cally shivered. He'd said it then, and he'd been wrong. Gaeta had helped save them all then, and Gaeta was trying to save them all now.
Galen laughed a little, a horribly bitter sound. "Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy."
"A self-fulfilling…?"
He wasn't thinking of the same thing she was. "God, it was back when the tylium workers went on strike. Adama wanted it over. Threatened that if I didn't end it, he'd put you up against the bulkhead and shoot you as a mutineer."
"What?" The demand was more instinct that felt.
"Never mind. So what happens now, Cally?" Galen asked.
Cally shook her head. "Get out of here," she finally said. "I can't do it, so just… get out of here. I never saw you."
"Cally."
"Just get out of here!" she shouted through gritted teeth. "Go back the way you came! Just… GO!"
The words ripped out of her, and she barely knew she was saying them. But Galen nodded and began squirming back into the vent. "Watch out for yourself," he cautioned darkly. "It's murder out there."
"You, too," Cally said.
He gave her a harried, haunted smile and disappeared, and Cally slumped down to sit on the floor. Her shoulders and her arms began to shake, and she stared helplessly around the weapons locker.
They didn't have Galen, and she couldn’t believe she was glad.
***
Colonial One was still in the landing bay. Cally stared at it for a long moment, wondering what was meant to happen next, and what everyone was thinking. Was Adama still so much of a hero that the Fleet would care if he was gone? Or would they embrace Felix Gaeta as a man who didn't offer faith, but offered a plan with no promises? Probably the second, as long as he could keep the Cylons away. In time, they'd probably take to him even better. Gaeta was young, he was reasonably good looking, and the lost leg and the dead lover added up to a tale of heartbreak and dogged determination. A few good interviews with the press, and they'd follow him just as easily as they did Adama. Even more so, as Gaeta got rid of the Cylons… all of the Cylons.
Adama wasn't that important in the grand scheme of things, Cally realized. Not to the average person in the Fleet. And even Laura Roslin… although Cally wouldn't put just anyone in power after New Caprica. But Tom Zarek had always looked out for the people without power, and he'd refused to collaborate.
She was walking away, convincing herself this was all the best it could be when she heard the sound of machine guns coming from the open doors of Colonial One.
***
She ran. How she managed to avoid either side was a mystery, although later she remembered hiding behind crates and ducking into corridors. But she ran until her lungs wouldn't let her run anymore and her legs gave out, and she threw herself against the wall, slumping to the floor and sobbing.
Keep the birds in the air. She could do that. It was what those birds meant to do that she'd closed her mind to.
She fumbled in her pocket for the picture that Gaeta had given her, the one of himself and Hoshi smiling, that was meant to go on the wall. She stared at it, wiping her cheeks as she hiccuped out sobs. Hoshi hadn't been killed by Cylons. She stared at the two faces in the picture, rage mounting in her until she closed her eyes and let out a scream of frustration, anger, and anguish, her fists clenched by her sides.
The scream helped, and she managed to struggle to her feet, stuffing the picture back into her pocket. That was when she heard the bootsteps. They were even, people walking in formation, and there was no gunfire. Cally took a deep breath and crept to the end of the corridor, cautiously peeping out. It was a delegation of Marines, led by Narcho, and they had Admiral Adama. Cally hurriedly ducked back into the Remembrance Hall. She stood frozen for long moments.
Her walkie talkie buzzed into life. She stared at it for a long moment, then took it from her belt and threw it at the wall as hard as she could. It hit with a metallic thud and fell to the floor, a piece coming loose and skittering away. The knuckledragger in her couldn't bear to see a broken piece of equipment broken, and she bent down to pick it up.
When she looked up, the barrel of a gun was in her face.
"Where are they?" Lee Adama demanded from behind her. Cally swallowed hard and looked up the barrel of the gun.
Caroline stared back at her.
"You've got one chance," Caroline growled at her. "Tell us where they took Adama, or so help me, I will shoot you."
The funny thing was, the gun wasn't what affected her. Cally looked up, looked at the wall. All those people, all those lives gone because of the Cylons. It wasn't right. But Jammer smiled down at her from the wall, and she felt Hoshi's picture in her pocket, and this wasn't right either.
"The launch tubes," she said. "They're probably taking Adama to the launch tubes."
Caroline grabbed her by the bicep and hauled her to her feet. "Take us there," she ordered. She glanced at Apollo, and Cally realized that Tigh was standing there as well. Tigh nodded approval at Caroline, and Cally took a deep breath.
"All right," she said. "Let's go."
***
He'd put you up against the bulkhead and shoot you as a mutineer. Those words rang in Cally's mind when they made their way into the launch tube. She didn't doubt Galen. Not in the least. So why did the sight of Adama tied to a chair facing a firing squad make her sick?
She saw it on the Narcho's face, too, and when their eyes met, she knew that although they'd lost, he didn't hate her for it.
***
"Take her to the holding cell," Adama ordered Caroline. "We'll sort her out later. And while you're there, release Lieutenant Dualla. I'm getting my ship back."
"Yes, sir," Caroline said, saluting. She trained her gun on Cally. "Come on." Cally obeyed.
They walked in silence. Cally could feel the anger radiating off Caroline. She kept her eyes focused firmly in front of her, like a child in deep shit with her mother.
They were outside the holding cell when Caroline exploded. "No one's happy about the frakking alliance, Cally! Are you willing to kill over it? Are you willing to die over it?"
"I thought I was," Cally said. She stared wistfully at the closed hatch. "Guess I'm going to." She couldn't quite conceive of that yet, that she was going to die for this.
"You're not going to," Caroline said angrily. "You probably deserve to, but if the Admiral wanted you dead, you and Narcho would both be dead now. This frakking mutiny was too widespread. I can't believe…" she clamped down on the rest of her words and angrily punched in the code. The hatch opened.
Two Marines met them, guns in their faces. Caroline met them evenly. "Back down," she ordered them. "The Admiral is on his way to the CIC."
One of them faltered, but the other only firmed up his grip on his gun. Cally found her breath not coming, and then they were all deafened by the shot. The Marine fell back, clutching his shoulder. Caroline lifted her chin.
"Stand down," she ordered them again. Both Marines put their guns in the air. "Open the cell," Caroline ordered the one who had faltered. Behind the bars, Dee was waiting, standing with her arms crossed. "You okay, Lieutenant?" Caroline asked.
"I'm not hurt," Dee snapped out. "Where's Gaeta?"
"CIC, probably," Caroline said. She paused. "Lee's on the ship as well. He headed for the CIC."
"Let's get there," Dee ordered.
Caroline took the keys off the desk and unlocked the holding cell. "Get in there," she ordered the Marines.
"But he's been… you shot him!" the first Marine protested.
"In the shoulder. I'll send a medical team down. Now get in there!" The Marine knelt down to help his companion, and they staggered into the cell.
Neither Dee nor Caroline looked at Cally as she entered the cell herself. The door slammed shut on them, and Dee looked at Caroline. "You got another gun?"
Caroline freed one from her belt. "Here you go, LT."
"Good. Let's go."
They left. Cally took a deep, shaking breath, and then looked at the Marines.
"Let's see what we can do to get the bleeding stopped," she said, and her voice sounded steadier than she ever would have believed.
***
The medics came down fairly quickly. Cally wasn't surprised. Caroline had made her position on people dying pretty clear.
They left behind a bloodstain on the blanket and an echoing silence. Cally wondered why no one else was being put in here as well, and the silence of the empty holding cell echoed. She couldn't hear the guns anymore, except in her own mind.
She sat down on the cot, wondering about Nicky. She'd been afraid to even think of him all day, afraid of what could happen. Now that everything was over, she desperately wanted him in her arms, just to reassure herself that he was safe. But she knew better than to ask… not that anyone was in here to ask, anyway.
In the silence, she heard her own ragged breathing and her own heartbeat.
***
Her watch said it was well after 2000 hours when the hatch opened, and Adama strode in. He looked tired and angry, and Cally shrank back against the wall. Colonel Tigh was at his side, and Cally found herself staring more at him. At least Tigh had always looked angry- even before this.
"I understand you were one of the ringleaders," Adama said, with no preamble. Cally sensed that honesty would serve her a lot better right now than trying to deny it, and nodded. Adama rubbed his face with a heavy sigh. "But I also understand that you helped save my life."
"I… I guess, sir," Cally said.
"Why?"
"Excuse me?"
"What changed your mind?"
"Sir, I still think we should be fighting the Cylons, not taking help from them," Cally said, not looking at Tigh. "But I don't want us to be fighting each other."
"What did you think was going to happen when you start talking mutiny?" Tigh demanded.
Cally just shrugged.
Adam rubbed his forehead again. "Cool your heels here tonight," he ordered. "We'll figure you out when we get the chance."
"Yes, sir." Cally swallowed hard. "What's going to happen to… to everyone, sir?"
"Can't kill the lot of you," Tigh growled. "Even though that's what we would have done before the Colonies fell. The Astral Queen's got plenty of space."
Cally nodded. "And Gaeta?"
There was no answer, and that was answer enough.
***
Cally didn't mind the fact that she was alone tonight. She lay on the cot, tired despite herself, staring at the ceiling. She had almost drifted off when the hatch opened.
"You okay?"
It was Galen. Cally closed her eyes. "I'm fine. Is it over?"
"Is what over? The mutiny? Yeah, it's over."
"Gaeta?"
There was a long silence. "He's dead," Galen finally said.
"One of these days," Cally parroted softly, "guys like Gaeta are gonna hang. And you and me, we're gonna be there, tying the knots tight."
"Cally-"
"You said it often enough on New Caprica."
"When I thought Gaeta was a collaborator!"
Cally sat up. "And what Adama doing now?" she demanded.
"I don't care what the frak Adama's doing now!" Galen shouted. "I just… Cally, how the frak did you manage to get yourself mixed up in this? Did Gaeta threaten you?"
Cally snorted. "Hardly. I've killed Cylons before."
"I know," Galen said sourly. "But still… going against Adama… it's not like you, Cally."
"It doesn't matter," Cally said, sitting back against the wall. "I was wrong."
"Yeah. You were."
She looked away. "How's Nicky?" she asked.
Galen sighed. "He's okay," he said. "Upset, but okay. He's asleep."
Cally exhaled. "Good."
"So what happens now?" Galen asked.
Cally shrugged. "Don't know," she said. "You're the one outside the bars."
"What do you want to happen now?"
"I don't know." She sighed tiredly. "I really don't know. I just… I don't want to fight anymore."
"With me?"
"With anyone. It doesn't do any good. It doesn't change anything. It doesn’t…" there were tears suddenly blurring her eyes. "It doesn't bring them back."
"Bring who back?"
"My family. My brothers. Jammer. Sonicus. Tarn. Hoshi. Any of them. I can't stand to look at any of them, but them dying? Us dying? It doesn't change a damned thing."
Galen leaned against the bars. "Is that why Gaeta did it?"
Cally shrugged. "He wanted to change everything. That's what we all want, I guess."
"Yeah. We do."
She closed her eyes. "I'm tired, and you should get back to Nicky."
"All right." She imagined he was watching her with that worried expression he used to get. "I'll see you… soon."
She didn't know the answer to that.
***
It was early morning when the cell opened. "Crewman Henderson."
Cally jerked to her feet, noticing the rank immediately. Tigh was standing in front of the bars, holding a sheaf of papers. "Sir."
"It's almost time for your shift."
"Yes, sir."
Tigh eyed her, measuring her with his gaze. "You are hereby demoted to crewman, you have extra shifts in sewage for the next six months, and you can consider yourself on probation. You set one foot out of line…"
"Yes, sir," Cally said.
"Oh, and the Admiral put this through. With your recent… activity… there was no problem with proving grounds." He handed her the papers. "Now get out of here before I change my mind."
"Yes, sir." Cally obeyed, clutching the papers. She headed straight for the deck, but on the way, she stopped to see what the papers were.
No wonder Tigh had called her Henderson. The divorce was approved.
***
They all fell silent when Galen called her name at roll call. She felt it, everyone's eyes on her. They hated her, one of the people who'd brought about the deaths of too many people. She couldn't look anyone in the eye.
She worked in silence, scrubbing the floor, cleaning the tools, prying gunk out of old parts. The afternoon was spent with a temperamental Viper. The truth was, Galen didn't change her duties much, because he couldn't. She might not have her rank, but she had her experience.
No one talked about it. She noticed it. The deck should be brimming with stories and gossip, angry recounts and grief. But it was quiet. The conversations were muted, the subjects were mainly the work at hand. The names Gaeta and Zarek were avoided. Like if they didn't speak of them, it hadn't happened.
That was the worst. Cally could deal with anger. She could deal with hate. She understood those. But pretending it had never happened… it meant everything- all the sacrifice, all the death- it was for nothing. And the people who had followed Gaeta had followed him for a reason. Not just because Earth was a wasteland, but because they thought Gaeta was right. And none of that mattered.
But it should. She didn't expect Gaeta's goals to be met, but just that someone would question. That someone would ask what made people like Gaeta, like Racetrack, like her snap and feel like this was their only recourse. But no one was asking, and soon, it would be forgotten.
***
Cally had made a lot of promises in her life. Some she had kept, some she had broken. Some were easy and some were hard. A lot ended up somewhere in the middle. She wasn't sure where this one fell, except that she knew it was one she needed to keep.
The Remembrance Hall was crowded today, people hanging pictures of those that died the day before. Cally walked silently, the picture clenched in her hand. She was only vaguely aware that there were people watching her, and they weren't happy.
Well, frak them.
She stopped in front of the wall and looked at the picture again. Two men, two smiles, two more names to a list that would soon be forgotten. Cally stared at the picture until her eyes blurred, and then found Jammer. With her chin held high and tears streaming down her face, she pinned the picture to the wall. And as she stepped back to look at it, she remembered Racetrack's toast from just two nights ago.
We're all frak ups, and we're all heroes. And we all pay the price.
With that as her benediction, Cally turned around and left the hall.
On to Part 6
Author: lls_mutant
Fic Summary: Tory might have pulled her from the launch tube, but Cally's life still felt like it was over. Everything she loved was gone, or at the very least, changed to something that she hated.
Chapter Summary: Gaeta's plan might be dangerous, but they're all getting desperate.
Warnings: Suicidal thoughts (Cally), suicide (not Cally)
Pairings: Canon pairings, Galen is important in the story, but it's more gen.
Author's Notes : What Nicky retcon? Also, although I changed a few events to suit our purposes, most of this universe follows canon… just with Cally alive.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
The thumping of boots announced the arrival of Marines on the hangar bay. Cally paused in her examination of the port gun on Racetrack's Raptor. "What the frak?"
Racetrack leaned around the Raptor. "Got me. They're not calling action stations or anything." She studied the Marines, looking almost identical in their heavy uniforms and blank expressions. "I see Caroline in there, though. We'll get the story from her later."
The story became extremely clear, however, when another Raptor taxied into place. The hatch opened, and two armed Marines escorted a cuffed Tom Zarek out. The waiting Marines took up a guard, and they escorted him out of the bay, presumably to the brig.
Cally and Racetrack watched them pass, eyes wide. "What did he do?" Racetrack asked breathlessly. "I haven't heard anything since New Caprica."
"There was the Circle," Cally muttered, "but Hoshi said they took care of that, and that the brass knew about it." She glanced sideways at Racetrack and chose her next words carefully. "We could always ask Gaeta about it later. I'll bet he knows what's going on."
Racetrack faced Cally fully, considering her. Cally turned and met her eyes, and Racetrack smiled.
"Yeah," she said. "I'll bet he does, doesn't he?"
***
As it turned out, they didn't have to ask Gaeta anything. They found him in the rec room that night, arguing with Dee as they sat at a table, with a large audience watching.
"There's no reason for the brass to lock him up!" Gaeta was saying. "He did nothing that went against the Articles!"
"He refused an order from the Admiral! He encouraged mutiny and sedition!" Dee said passionately. "And do you know why he did it, Felix?"
"Oh, I don't know, because the people of the Hitei Kan don't want the Cylons tampering with their FTL drive, installing technology that none of us understands?"
"If I believed that was why he really did it, I might- might- agree with you. But this is Tom Zarek! This is a man who has no problem killing off any number of people for power!"
"That's not how it works! He has a vision, and while I admit-"
"A vision," Dee scoffed. She was still sitting, but she was on the edge of her chair, and her knuckles were white. "Felix, when are you going to wake up and see that not everyone is the idealist you are? Open your eyes!"
"I never said he was an idealist," Gaeta snapped. "I just don't think he's a murderer!"
"For frak's sake, he ordered your murder after New Caprica!" Dee fumed. "Remember? An airlock tube and a jury of six angry men? Is any of this ringing a bell?"
Cally had the impression that that one struck bone. Gaeta closed his eyes for a long moment and rubbed his forehead. But when he opened them, he ground out, "He did what he thought was right. Justice needed to be paid for New Caprica, for people who made that possible."
"And you didn't!" Dee fumed. "You were the inside source! You were doing everything you could to get people off of New Caprica! And all the thanks you got was a farce of a trial and a staved execution sentence!"
"And that was a risk I had to take," Gaeta said. "That's the point of being an inside source- no one knows who you are."
Dee stared at him, open mouthed. "I can't believe you," she said finally. "I don't know what's gotten into you, Felix, what could possibly make you believe that Tom Zarek is a better choice than Laura Roslin-"
"Who is doing nothing!" The fire was back in Gaeta's eyes now. "She led us to this wasteland of a planet based on what? Chamalla induced hallucinations that she claimed were prophecies? Where did her gods lead us, Dee? The nuked out, frakking Cylon homeworld! That's where we ended up! And instead of doing anything about it, or pulling out some sort of plan B, she holes up in the middle of her room and does nothing! And that's fine, okay? She's done, and that's fine! But she should step aside and let the Vice President do his job!"
"The mass murderer-"
"That she put in power when she took his place after New Caprica!" Gaeta took a deep breath and narrowed his eyes, and Cally remembered how he'd looked that night in Joe's, after the Raptor. It sent chills down her spine, and his next words proved her gut instincts right. "Or do you like it that way, Dee? Do you want the Vice President shoved aside so that your ex-husband can take over, extending the Adama aristocracy? Is this about Zarek, or is this about President Adama?"
"Why, you…" Dee finally stood. Cally didn't think she'd ever seen her so furious.
Gaeta leaned back, draping his arm over the back of his chair. "Wouldn't be the first time you've tried to pick your President, Dee. Remember? Back before-"
Dee smacked him.
The rec room went still. No one moved a muscle; no one even dared to take a deep breath.
Dee leaned in across the table. "I search across space for you, call in one of the few remaining favors I've probably got from the Old Man, and this is what you say to me?" Her voice was low and angry, and Cally found she couldn't swallow. "This is the thanks I get?"
Gaeta looked her straight in the eye. "Yes, Dee. This is the thanks you get for saving my ass."
Dee looked like she wanted to say more, but she pressed her lips together so tightly that they turned white. "Fine," she said, pulling up. "Talk to me when you have more sense, Felix. I'm leaving."
She stormed gracefully from the room, not even looking at Cally and Racetrack. A few people followed her, some of them casting disgusted looks at Gaeta.
"What was that about?" Racetrack asked angrily, taking Dee's seat.
Gaeta lit a cigarette. "Dee knows me too well," he said, and then took a deep drag. "I need her off my case for a few days."
So Gaeta wasn't just talking idly in the bar the other night. He meant the things he said about the problems in the leadership, the ineffectiveness, the disappointments that were spiraling out of control. Cally shivered.
"You aren't bringing Dee in on this?" Racetrack asked calmly.
"Frak, no."
Racetrack looked like she wanted to say more, but Gaeta's expression didn't invite conversation.
"So. Gaeta." Narcho plopped himself down in the chair next to Racetrack. He pushed the chair opposite out from him with his foot, and Cally finally sat. "I take it this lovely little bridge bunny battle was brought to us by the incarceration of our Vice President?"
"For encouraging citizens to make a peaceful protest against the Cylons boarding their ships without permission, yes," Gaeta said.
Narcho reached over and pulled a cigarette out of the box Gaeta had set on the table. "Keep talking, man, because believe me, I am all ears, and I'd really like to hear what someone who- how did Dualla put it?- tried to get everyone off New Caprica and just got a farce of a trial and a staved execution sentence? Yeah. I'm really curious to hear what you have to say about all this."
Gaeta glanced at Racetrack, and she nodded, just slightly. He leaned forward lit Narcho's cigarette. Then he glanced around at the thinned crowd. "Anyone else want one?" he held up the pack.
A few people walked away, but Cally noticed that even though not everyone lit theirs, everyone who stayed took one. She took one herself, lighting it off Racetrack's.
"All right," Gaeta said. "Let's talk."
***
"Did you take note of how many we had, Cally?" Gaeta asked when most of the crowd had dispersed for the night.
"Thirty-two by the end," Cally said.
"And did you start talking to the deck crew?" Gaeta looked exhausted, but his eyes were still burning with intensity.
"I started feeling a few out," Cally said. "I don't know how much support you've got down there. It's tough to tell."
"Right. What about the ones that came over from the Pegasus?"
"That's where you're going to have your best support," Cally admitted. "The problem is a lot of the ones that you can count on aren't exactly the kind of people you want to count on."
Gaeta sighed. "I can't be picky." He glanced over to his right. "Noel. You can help me sort out who's reliable from the Pegasus crew?"
Narcho nodded. "I can to an extent. Don't know the knuckledraggers so well."
Gaeta rubbed his forehead. "All right. What I really want to know is who's trigger happy. If we're going to do this, it's going to be with as little bloodshed as possible."
Racetrack and Narcho exchanged glances. Cally saw their skepticism, but neither of them said a word. Instead, they just nodded and began listing names, adding their own opinions. Gaeta didn't take notes, but he listened intently to every word they had to say.
Cally listened with half her mind, but she found herself drifting, watching the streams of smoke rising from the cigarettes and swirling in the ventilation stream. A part of her couldn't believe they were talking like this.
Mutiny. It was the first time she'd whispered the word, even in the recesses of her own mind.
She took another drag on her cigarette- her third of the night- to steady herself. Normally she wasn't much of a smoker, but tonight seemed like a good time to pretend.
Gaeta was leaning over, rubbing at the end of his stump like he was in pain. Cally glanced at him inquiringly, but he just shook his head. She wondered what Hoshi would do if he was here. Would he drag Gaeta's ass off to bed right now? He looked like he could use it. But of course, Hoshi wasn't here right now, because he was- she angrily stubbed out her cigarette, not wanting to continue down that line of thought.
"When are you planning on doing this?" she heard herself asking.
Gaeta made a face. "We can't wait too much longer," he said. "This is the kind of thing where we've got to strike while we can, before someone gets cold feet and changes their mind. We need the element of surprise, or we're frakked. But I want to see if we can get a little more support, first. I'm going to see what I can get tomorrow, in the mess hall. We'll go from there." He looked at his watch. "You guys need sleep," he said.
"So do you." It was Narcho that said it. He stood up. "Let's call it a night before it gets obvious, shall we?"
Cally stood up quickly. "Sounds good to me."
Gaeta nodded. "All right," he said. He looked from Narcho to Racetrack to Cally. "I don't think I need to tell you that we need to be discreet. I'll let you know when we'll meet again, all right? Until then… keep your heads down."
"Yes, sir," Narcho said, and Racetrack echoed him, saluting.
"Yes, sir," Cally said, just a beat behind them. Yes, sir. It was the proper response regardless, but it had never sounded so strange in her ears.
***
She was tired- every bone in her body was screaming for rest- but she didn't go back to the barracks. Instead, she found herself wandering to Remembrance Hall again. It was empty at this time of night, and she was free to look at the faces in peace.
Once upon a time, back in the first horrible days of the attack, she'd put a picture of her own family up here. Her father, her mother, her four brothers. They were all sitting in a cheap chain store studio, with a dark mottled background and smiles that indicated they'd all be a lot more comfortable in something besides the starched clothes and shined shoes that they were wearing. Even her father looked uncomfortable. But it was the last picture taken of all seven of them, and Cally loved it for that alone.
There was a strange clacking sound, and she drew back from the wall, looking around hurriedly until she spotted Gaeta at the far end. He took the a picture out of his pocket, stared at it for a long time, hesitated, and then put the picture back in his jacket pocket. Cally's throat closed. On the one hand, she understood why he couldn't let go, and yet… Hoshi belonged on the Wall, where people who were loved were remembered.
Gaeta caught her watching him. "I thought you were going to bed."
"I thought you were, too."
He smiled and limped down towards her. "That your family?" he asked, looking at the picture. Cally nodded. "Nice."
"Is yours up here?"
"At the other end of the hall," Gaeta said. He didn't offer to walk down and show her, and Cally didn't push. She could see where there were scratches on his neck from the fight with the Eight on the Raptor, and she looked away hurriedly. "I still haven't put Louis up," Gaeta said.
"I know," Cally said. She chewed her lip for a moment. "Do you want me to do it?"
Gaeta thought about it, then shook his head. "Not yet," he said, to Cally's relief. "I really should, I know. It's just…" he trailed off, his eyes far away. Cally thought for a minute he might break down, but he snapped out of it and changed the subject entirely.
"There's one thing I needed to ask you. Are you sure you're going to be okay with this? With Tyrol?"
Cally nodded. "I am," she said. She thought of the fury and the pain she'd felt when she'd found out he was a Cylon, and the feeling of the wrench in her hands. "I can do this."
Gaeta's eyes were boring into her. But she looked around at the faces here, all of them killed by the very… things they were now supposed to ally with, and she shivered. "I will be fine," she said, and her voice didn't tremble at all.
Gaeta didn't answer for a long moment, and then he nodded. "All right," he said. He softened, and his shoulders slumped forward. But he didn't leave.
"Where do you think you're going to put him?" Cally asked.
"What?"
"When you hang Hoshi. Where are you going to put him?"
"I don't know," Gaeta confessed. "That’s part of it, I guess. I just can't seem to find the right spot. Where would you hang him?"
"Next to Jammer," Cally said immediately.
"Really? Why?"
Cally shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "There's an injustice there in both their deaths, I guess. Or maybe because I was looking at Jammer's picture when I told Hoshi about the Cylons. I don't know. Or they were the same kind of friend to me. I don't really know why."
Gaeta considered it, and then shrugged. "Good as place as any, I guess," he said. He dug in his pocket and handed her the picture. "Not right now," he said. "Do it sometime when I can't see you do it."
Cally accepted the picture gravely, not betraying any of her reluctance to do so. "All right."
Gaeta smiled once more at her, but he didn't leave. He lingered in the Hall, and it was Cally that drifted away first. As she left, she heard his voice, low and steady, reciting a list of names. People he wanted to recruit, most likely.
It wasn't until she was almost in her bunk that she realized the names Gaeta was reciting were people that were dead.
***
Cally and Racetrack were eating lunch together, sitting on the wings of a Raptor. Although this was hardly a new practice for them, Cally felt very conspicuous, like everyone knew what they were up to.
"Don't be so jumpy," Racetrack laughed breezily when Cally nearly fell off the wing when Laird came over. "He was looking for a pair of pliers, for frak's sake."
"I know," Cally said. She opened her mouth to say more when Seelix leaned against their wing.
"Wow, did you guys miss some show eating down here," she said darkly.
"Yeah?" Racetrack said. "What happened?"
"You ever seen Gaeta and Starbuck fighting?" Seelix asked. Her tone was light, but her eyes were very dark and angry. "Never seen such a catfight in all my life."
Cally nearly choked on her algae. "She didn't hit him, did she?" she asked when she could speak.
"No, but the bitch threatened to at the end," Seelix said. She folded her forearms against the wing. "Gods, she drags us all the way across space to find nothing- and I mean, nothing- we could have found the waste that Earth was from her frakking Viper, which was here on Galactica, and her husband shoots Gaeta's leg off, and she still waltzes around like she frakking owns the place. And the Admiral just backs her up! What was the point of those two months of misery except hauling that baseship back here?"
"You're preaching to the choir," Racetrack said. She leaned in. "He did quite a performance with Dee last night, too, if you missed that one."
"I heard they had some big fight," Seelix said. "I didn't know Dee was in on it."
"She's not," Racetrack said. "But I think he was trying to piss her off."
"I see." Seelix rubbed her chin. "Lot of people stuck around to hear what he had to say after Starbuck left," she said.
"Yeah," Racetrack agreed, nodding. "A lot of people did last night, too."
Seelix looked from Racetrack to Cally and back, and then lowered her voice even more. "So Dee's out. What about Caroline?"
"Don't even ask her," Racetrack warned. "Caroline will take up arms for Adama no matter what; you know that."
"Thought so," Seelix sighed. "Danielle?"
Cally thought of Danielle, and her stomach froze. Danielle wasn't a soldier- not really. She was someone that had originally been on board a Geminon cruiser, taking a break with some girlfriends. She'd enlisted after New Caprica, because she said she was tired of letting everyone else save her own ass. She was strong, she had guts, and she had more common sense than anyone gave her credit for. But Cally still couldn't think of her as a soldier. Not in this.
"I'll take care of Danielle," she said suddenly, and as the words left her mouth, she knew exactly what she was going to do.
Racetrack and Seelix both smiled at her with approval.
***
"Okay, you swear to the gods you won't tell anyone about this?" Cally begged.
"I won't!" Danielle insisted. "Tell me!"
"Swear it," Cally ordered.
Danielle rolled her eyes. "Fine. I swear it."
"To the gods."
"To the gods! Cally, what's going on?"
They were alone in the bunkroom, but Cally looked around anyway, just to be sure. Then she leaned in and lowered her voice. "Galen and I… we've been talking. And there's a counselor on another ship, one that's got some experience in helping couples work out their problems."
"A marriage counselor?" Danielle asked. Her eyes widened. "Wow," she said neutrally, "that's big."
"I know. I don't know that anything will come of it, but even if we can learn to be civil to each other, it's best for Nicky."
"Definitely," Danielle's agreement to that was swift and whole-hearted.
"The thing is Nicky," Cally said. "It's an all-day thing, and we can't take Nicky to it. I took a look at the roster, and I can take both you and Tony off it if you guys can watch Nicky for us."
"Sure, but-"
"Thanks!" Cally said, before Danielle could protest. "Just keep him in our quarters. Galen will be out all day- I know he's planning on working with the brass and the Cylons on the FTL upgrades." Cally couldn't control the face that she made when she said that, and she noticed that Danielle winced as well. "Just keep Nicky in our quarters."
"It shouldn't take two of us, though," Danielle argued. "I can handle Nicky on my own."
"I know." Cally had considered this. "But both you and Figurski deserve the day off, and besides- are you really going to complain about spending the day with him? Just… if you frak in the bed, change the sheets and don't tell me, okay?" Danielle flared red, and Cally laughed. "Seriously. It's lonely when you're in there all day alone. I know you can do it, but why should you? Take Tony with you, and whatever you do, stay in the quarters."
"All right," Danielle laughed, holding her hands up. "I get it, Cally. We'll do it."
Cally relaxed. "Thanks, Danielle. I'll owe you."
***
2200 hours. Weapons Locker 1701D
The note was on her bed, like a bad dream repeating. Cally shuddered and crumpled it in her hand.
Of all places, this was the last place on Galactica that she wanted to go.
***
"Racetrack, you're clear on the escape, right?" Gaeta asked.
"Yes, sir."
It was a small group: Racetrack, Narcho, Seelix, Conner, two Marines, and two civilians. Cally realized these were the people that Gaeta had tapped as his loyal core… and as his command unit. That didn't surprise her, because smaller gatherings attracted far less attention. What surprised her was that she was the only deckhand present.
"Gunny, we’re clear in the CIC, right? You do not fire until I give the order."
"Understood, sir."
Gaeta shifted in the chair someone had dragged in for him. "It's not just keeping the bloodshed to a minimum," he said. "It's that if this is going to work, I need as little damage to the CIC as possible. The senior officers are going into custody- running the place will be hard enough without them. I don't need my guys dealing with shorts and bullet holes as well."
"Yes, sir."
"If we have to fire, I'll order it. But one thing I want absolutely, completely clear," Gaeta leaned in. "No one touches Lieutenant Dualla. She goes into the brig as fast as you can get her there, and you pick two people you trust entirely to guard her. She doesn't get a chance to make a decision, to swear loyalty to me or to Adama. You understand?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good." Gaeta pinched his nose. "We've got to neutralize the big threats- the ones that are the most loyal to Adama and in the biggest position to make trouble for us. Starbuck, Anders, Tigh, Tyrol, the Agathons…" he sighed heavily, addressing the other Marine. "Whoever you send after the Agathons, make sure that Hera stays with her mother."
That hit Cally like a punch in the stomach, and she stared at Gaeta in horror. "Are you planning on doing something to Hera?" she demanded. And to Nicky? was the question she couldn't even ask.
Gaeta shook his head. "No. Absolutely not. But if Hera is separated from her, Sharon will do everything she can to get her child back. If they're together, we've got a better chance of controlling her. Same goes for Helo, although he's not as much of a physical threat as Sharon is." He sighed. "I have no intention of harming Hera, Cally. Or Nicky. I promise."
Cally nodded stiffly, and Gaeta turned back to the Marine. "Also, whoever you send after the Agathons, bear in mind that Sharon is a Cylon, and she's got the strength of one, plus you have Helo. Send a larger contingent."
"Yes, sir."
"Cally. If anything happens to Laird, or if he refuses to cooperate, you are Chief. You keep those birds in the air, no matter what. Understand?"
"Yes, sir," Cally said.
"You aren't going to need to explain anything. If anyone asks- and they probably won't- it's just orders. I'm hoping there won't be any birds in play, but it may come to that. Keep as many people as you can in the dark, and just keep them focused on their job."
"Yes, sir." Something in Cally relaxed. This was something she could do. But Gaeta wasn't finished.
"We're short on hands, so I'm also going to need you to keep an eye on the weapons locker that's near the deck- 1904. Don't let anyone in unless they tell you that Louis sent them. Can you do that?"
Cally nodded mutely, her throat closing. Louis sent them. Gaeta was staring at her, his face hard, his eyes narrow, watching and weighing every bit of her reaction. She didn't want to fail him- not this time. She managed to speak.
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Connor, Seelix, Noel… stick around a little longer. Best we don't leave all at once anyway. But the rest of you… unless you have any questions, get going. We're on for tomorrow."
"Yes, sir," Cally said. She started towards the hatch. Racetrack whispered something to Seelix, who nodded, and then followed her.
"What was that all about?" Cally asked when the hatch had shut firmly behind them and the others had gone their own ways.
Racetrack looked grave. "I was just thinking," she said slowly, and there was none of her normal casual frak-em-all bitterness, "tomorrow… a lot of things are going to change. And people are probably going to die."
"Getting cold feet?" Cally asked.
"No. But I was just thinking that… well, we should get a drink. With Danielle and Caroline and Dee."
It was the closest Cally had come to crying since she'd broken down in the Raptor after Hoshi's funeral. She swallowed hard for a long moment, trying to talk. Finally, she managed a nod.
In the dim light of the corridor, she saw a tear streak down Racetrack's face.
***
"To the frakery of men!" Racetrack shouted, standing on the table.
"To the frakery of men!" the others echoed, holding up their glasses.
Racetrack put her hand over her heart. "To our Admiral, who forgot a Plan B, and our Colonel, who is a toaster."
"To the Admiral and the Colonel!" they all chorused, and drank.
"To Sam Anders," Seelix announced, holding up her drink. "Who showed me that even the most faithful can be dogs with no taste."
"To Sam Anders!"
Caroline joined in. "To Tom Zarek, who uses every opportunity he can for a lesson in civil disobedience, rather than see what's necessary for survival."
"To the Vice President!"
"To Lee Adama and Galen Tyrol," Danielle said, "who manage to treat their wives like shit and still walk around with everyone thinking they smell like roses."
"To Lee and Galen!"
"Damn, you took mine," Cally muttered. She thought for a moment. "To Gaius Baltar, who led us to New Caprica and was rewarded with a harem full of women!"
"To Gaius Baltar!"
They all looked expectantly at Dee, who didn't disappoint. "To my best friend, Felix Gaeta, who has his head so far up his own ass he can't see a damn thing straight!"
"To Felix Gaeta!"
Racetrack hiccuped, and then cleared her throat. "To these men… to these thick-headed, clunkified, idiot men. To the men who we don't toast tonight, because they currently aren't frakking up. To my co-pilot, Skulls, who's always got my back. To Laird, who's been through hell that none of us can imagine, but keeps doing his job because it's all he's got left. To Figurski, who makes Danielle smile and has the sense to appreciate he's got one of the best women in the Fleet. To Doc Cottle, who should run the world. To Billy, to Jammer, to Hoshi, who all deserved better than they got, but so do we all. To our men. To the men of this Fleet. Because without them…" Racetrack wobbled dangerously again, and put her hand on Cally's head to steady herself. "Gods know what we'd do without them. Because when I think about what life would be like without them, I imagine the Fleet being run by Laura Roslin and Helena Cain, and I don't think we'd really do much better without them. We're all frak ups, and we're all heroes. And we all pay the price. So say we all."
"So say we all!"
They were laughing then, all of them, laughing and hugging. Cally laughed until her sides hurt and tears rolled down her face, one arm around Dee and one around Caroline. She saw Racetrack hugging Danielle, Seelix on Dee's other side. There was music playing on the wireless and people were looking at the funny, but Cally kept laughing until her abdomen ached and she had to sit down. The lights whirled in her vision, and she desperately wished she could stop time right here, right now.
It hurt knowing the future, and that this was the last time they would ever all drink together.
***
The alarm went off, and Cally's eyes snapped open. She'd never really fallen asleep.
Keep the birds in the air. Just keep the birds in the air. She focused on those parts of her orders, the part she understood. The part she was used to. She could do that.
She scrubbed her face with her hands and got up to check on Nicky. Nicky was still asleep in his crib, knees tucked under him and butt in the air, his little fist under his cheek. She reached down and touched his curls gently, the sight of him tugging at her heart.
"We were crazy to have you," she whispered to him. "But I wouldn't change it for the world. I'm sorry, Nicky. I don't want to do this. But maybe… maybe we can find someplace that's safe, where we aren't going to end up right back on New Caprica, with the Cylons breathing down our necks. You deserve better than what we've been able to give you, and maybe this way, you can have it. Gods, I hope so."
She leaned over the rails and kissed him, and then went to get dressed.
***
The walkie talkie on her belt buzzed quietly, with only the occasional burst of orders and acknowledgements. Every one made her jump, just a little, and she was sure someone would catch on to what was going on. But no one seemed to notice.
She caught one of the deckhands. "Where's Laird? Or Chief?"
"Haven't seen Chief," the deckhand told her, "but Laird's probably off filing some paperwork. There was a tylium spill right before this shift."
"Right. Thanks." That made Cally's throat close. The tylium spill meant that Gaeta had gotten Zarek out of the brig and they were gone. This was really happening. But she kept walking forward, her boots sounding loud in her ears against the metal grating.
She glanced at her watch. It had to be happening soon.
She shivered.
***
The first gunshots she heard were on the hangar bay, sharp and distinct. Cally wasn't sure what they could be from- it wasn't a firefight. Not like she was expecting.
"What the frak is going on?" someone demanded.
Cally opened her eyes as wide as she could. "I have no frakking idea. But we'd better get the work going on these birds." She glanced around- still no sign of Laird. "All right!" she shouted, because no one else was taking charge. "Let's get this shift moving! Casper, French, and Liu, you're on number 812! Crispins, Garrano, and Henson! You're on 946!" She kept going down the list, her voice straining as she shouted.
Keep the birds in the air. She could do that.
In the distance, somewhere on the ship, she heard the sounds of gunfire again.
***
Her walkie talkie sprang to life at 0940 hours. Gaeta's voice, quick, hard, and official. "The CIC is ours. Galactica is ours. The CIC senior staff is in custody. Hold the ship."
Cally closed her eyes. It was almost over. The just needed to stabilize, to get everything to where it should be… and then they would be able to jump away from the Cylons, find a home, and build lives again.
But she still heard the sounds of gunfire, and it sounded like the were getting closer.
***
A scream. A loud, piercing scream that bounced off the cavernous walls of the hangar deck.
"What is it?" Cally demanded, running down the steps.
"It's Laird," Gianna told her, looking up from a corpse with a horrified expression. "He's dead."
Cally realized she'd known it all morning, and her stomach turned.
***
They had Galen. They had to have him by now. The thought came to Cally as she was doing the post-flight check on a Viper, and it stopped her cold. Galen was in that Cylon brig.
She firmly reminded herself that he was a Cylon, and she focused on her work. This was what they were fighting for- for humans and Cylons to go their separate ways.
Right.
***
More gunshots. Not on the deck though, and Cally wondered why. Were both sides being smart enough not to damage the assets here? Or was it just they hadn't gotten here yet?
The crew was coming to her with their problems and their questions. With Galen gone, Laird dead, and Figurski supposedly missing in action but really locked up in the Tyrol quarters with Danielle and Nicky (Cally prayed), she was the senior knuckledragger. She wished she knew what her crew was thinking. But there was no time for wishing. She kept moving through the hangar deck, her focus on her job.
Keep the birds in the air.
This was what she lived for right now. This was her sole purpose in life. She could do this.
***
"Cally. It's Gage. Prepare the deck; Colonial One is docking."
"Colonial One?" Cally asked, confusedly. That wasn't something Gaeta had ever mentioned. But then, Cally realized, Gaeta had never told anyone the entire way he saw this playing out.
She saw the Raptor shuttling the ship in, and when Racetrack climbed out, she almost cried out in relief. But Racetrack didn't look at her, just focused on her own job. Cally watched as she and Zarek walked out of the hangar deck together, escorted by Marines.
She didn't know why she felt so cold.
***
"How many are dead?"
"Gods know. I've heard it could be in the hundreds."
"Gaeta. Who would have thought it of Gaeta?"
"I know. I'm afraid to go up there."
"I'm afraid to go anywhere. I keep hearing the guns- and did you hear that explosion?"
They were whispering. Cally ignored them all as she walked through the rows of Vipers, ready and waiting.
A deckhand was in the corner, crying. She ignored him, too.
"Clear the way!" someone new shouted.
"Take her to the infirmary!"
"Can't get there- someone's closed it off."
"Who? Our side or theirs?"
"Which is which?"
"I don't frakking know! But someone help her! She's dying!"
"Well, whose side is she on?"
"Does it matter? She's dying."
Cally closed her eyes, leaning her cheek against a Raptor. The cool metal grounded her, held her here on the safety of the deck.
"Cally. Cally! CHIEF! Get over here! We need you now!"
Her eyes flared open, and she looked at the number on the Raptor.
718.
***
"Cally." It was Gaeta's voice on the walkie-talkie.
"Yes, sir."
"I'm getting reports of activity down near you. I think they're headed for the weapons locker."
Her other job. Somehow, Cally had forgotten about that. She swallowed hard. "I'm on it, sir," she said.
"Good. I knew I could count on you."
The Raptor was still right there, burning through her skin. 718. She saw Hoshi in front of her, his mouth forming the words as he leaned against it. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "All down the line, sir," she said, her mouth dry.
"I'll be right back," she informed French. "I've got to-" Frak that, she was Chief. She didn't need to explain a damn thing.
No one was near the weapons locker, although she could hear the fighting down the hall. She entered the code Gaeta had given her quickly and slipped inside. Best to do this alone. Gods knew who on that deck she could trust.
It was quiet in here, and she took a minute to savor it. But when she heard the echo of gunfire, and she sprang back into action, searching the racks for a gun she felt comfortable with. She finally found one- small, but a bullet from a handgun did just as effective damage as a bullet from a machine gun at close range. Maybe not as extensive, but dead was dead. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and took a deep breath.
Nothing but silence. And somehow, that was worse.
***
She'd been in the locker for fifteen minutes when she heard it. A scratching, like an animal moving in the walls. Cally tightened her grip on her gun, her mouth drying out. She imagined New Caprica, and the lights that flooded the darkness and the barbed wire. She remembered the days in the prison cell, not sure if Nicky would live or die- not sure if she would live or die. She remembered Galen's anguished face, explosions and blood. She thought of her family, of her home, of the Colonies, of her old boyfriends, of her dreams of dental school and a conferences and patients and a better life than she'd grown up in. And she raised her gun.
The noise was coming from the grate.
Not a force then. Cally could handle this. She waited, because timing was everything and if they knew she was here they'd be able to run or to fight. She breathed as softly as she could, watching as the intruder wiggled the grate free and then exploded out of the vent and collapsed on the floor.
Galen.
He looked up at her, and Cally was hit by the impact of his eyes fastened on hers. For the first time since the Ionian nebula, she was seeing the man she'd married, not the Cylon that had taken his place. But Galen looked at her standing over him and closed his eyes.
"Go ahead, Cally," he said, gasping for breath. "Just shoot me now."
She remembered shooting Boomer; the gun in her hand, the hot revenge and triumph as Boomer fell, the drip of blood onto the grated floor. She'd never regretted it, and if she had it to do over again, she'd do the exact same thing. And the gun burned in her hand now. It was her job, just like keeping the birds in the air. She was a soldier, she'd chosen her side, and these were her orders. And he was a Cylon, for frak's sake. She'd nearly killed him once before.
Galen opened his eyes. "Come on, Cally. Just do it."
Her gun was shaking. She stared at it for a long moment before she realized she was shaking. Galen still just lay there, waiting for the shot, but she couldn't do it. She lowered her gun.
Galen let out a sigh accompanied by a bitter sort of smile.
"Frakked up day, isn't it?" he said. Cally nodded. "What the hell is going on?" Cally opened her mouth, but no answer came out. Galen closed his eyes again. "Guess it doesn't matter much, does it? Not right now. Where's Nicky?"
Her voice started working again, enough to say, "Home. Danielle and Figurski are watching him."
Galen's eyes snapped open. "Danielle and Figurski? You really thought about this, didn't you?"
"It was planned," Cally said.
"Who's behind it?"
"Gaeta."
"Gaeta." Galen said it with a bitterness that evoked New Caprica, and nights in their tent after unsuccessful days of trying to help his people. She remembered the way the lamps lit his face, remembered telling him to keep the volume down on his rants because he'd wake the baby. "I should have known," Galen muttered. "There's always a reckoning."
One day soon, guys like Gaeta are gonna hang. Cally shivered. He'd said it then, and he'd been wrong. Gaeta had helped save them all then, and Gaeta was trying to save them all now.
Galen laughed a little, a horribly bitter sound. "Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy."
"A self-fulfilling…?"
He wasn't thinking of the same thing she was. "God, it was back when the tylium workers went on strike. Adama wanted it over. Threatened that if I didn't end it, he'd put you up against the bulkhead and shoot you as a mutineer."
"What?" The demand was more instinct that felt.
"Never mind. So what happens now, Cally?" Galen asked.
Cally shook her head. "Get out of here," she finally said. "I can't do it, so just… get out of here. I never saw you."
"Cally."
"Just get out of here!" she shouted through gritted teeth. "Go back the way you came! Just… GO!"
The words ripped out of her, and she barely knew she was saying them. But Galen nodded and began squirming back into the vent. "Watch out for yourself," he cautioned darkly. "It's murder out there."
"You, too," Cally said.
He gave her a harried, haunted smile and disappeared, and Cally slumped down to sit on the floor. Her shoulders and her arms began to shake, and she stared helplessly around the weapons locker.
They didn't have Galen, and she couldn’t believe she was glad.
***
Colonial One was still in the landing bay. Cally stared at it for a long moment, wondering what was meant to happen next, and what everyone was thinking. Was Adama still so much of a hero that the Fleet would care if he was gone? Or would they embrace Felix Gaeta as a man who didn't offer faith, but offered a plan with no promises? Probably the second, as long as he could keep the Cylons away. In time, they'd probably take to him even better. Gaeta was young, he was reasonably good looking, and the lost leg and the dead lover added up to a tale of heartbreak and dogged determination. A few good interviews with the press, and they'd follow him just as easily as they did Adama. Even more so, as Gaeta got rid of the Cylons… all of the Cylons.
Adama wasn't that important in the grand scheme of things, Cally realized. Not to the average person in the Fleet. And even Laura Roslin… although Cally wouldn't put just anyone in power after New Caprica. But Tom Zarek had always looked out for the people without power, and he'd refused to collaborate.
She was walking away, convincing herself this was all the best it could be when she heard the sound of machine guns coming from the open doors of Colonial One.
***
She ran. How she managed to avoid either side was a mystery, although later she remembered hiding behind crates and ducking into corridors. But she ran until her lungs wouldn't let her run anymore and her legs gave out, and she threw herself against the wall, slumping to the floor and sobbing.
Keep the birds in the air. She could do that. It was what those birds meant to do that she'd closed her mind to.
She fumbled in her pocket for the picture that Gaeta had given her, the one of himself and Hoshi smiling, that was meant to go on the wall. She stared at it, wiping her cheeks as she hiccuped out sobs. Hoshi hadn't been killed by Cylons. She stared at the two faces in the picture, rage mounting in her until she closed her eyes and let out a scream of frustration, anger, and anguish, her fists clenched by her sides.
The scream helped, and she managed to struggle to her feet, stuffing the picture back into her pocket. That was when she heard the bootsteps. They were even, people walking in formation, and there was no gunfire. Cally took a deep breath and crept to the end of the corridor, cautiously peeping out. It was a delegation of Marines, led by Narcho, and they had Admiral Adama. Cally hurriedly ducked back into the Remembrance Hall. She stood frozen for long moments.
Her walkie talkie buzzed into life. She stared at it for a long moment, then took it from her belt and threw it at the wall as hard as she could. It hit with a metallic thud and fell to the floor, a piece coming loose and skittering away. The knuckledragger in her couldn't bear to see a broken piece of equipment broken, and she bent down to pick it up.
When she looked up, the barrel of a gun was in her face.
"Where are they?" Lee Adama demanded from behind her. Cally swallowed hard and looked up the barrel of the gun.
Caroline stared back at her.
"You've got one chance," Caroline growled at her. "Tell us where they took Adama, or so help me, I will shoot you."
The funny thing was, the gun wasn't what affected her. Cally looked up, looked at the wall. All those people, all those lives gone because of the Cylons. It wasn't right. But Jammer smiled down at her from the wall, and she felt Hoshi's picture in her pocket, and this wasn't right either.
"The launch tubes," she said. "They're probably taking Adama to the launch tubes."
Caroline grabbed her by the bicep and hauled her to her feet. "Take us there," she ordered. She glanced at Apollo, and Cally realized that Tigh was standing there as well. Tigh nodded approval at Caroline, and Cally took a deep breath.
"All right," she said. "Let's go."
***
He'd put you up against the bulkhead and shoot you as a mutineer. Those words rang in Cally's mind when they made their way into the launch tube. She didn't doubt Galen. Not in the least. So why did the sight of Adama tied to a chair facing a firing squad make her sick?
She saw it on the Narcho's face, too, and when their eyes met, she knew that although they'd lost, he didn't hate her for it.
***
"Take her to the holding cell," Adama ordered Caroline. "We'll sort her out later. And while you're there, release Lieutenant Dualla. I'm getting my ship back."
"Yes, sir," Caroline said, saluting. She trained her gun on Cally. "Come on." Cally obeyed.
They walked in silence. Cally could feel the anger radiating off Caroline. She kept her eyes focused firmly in front of her, like a child in deep shit with her mother.
They were outside the holding cell when Caroline exploded. "No one's happy about the frakking alliance, Cally! Are you willing to kill over it? Are you willing to die over it?"
"I thought I was," Cally said. She stared wistfully at the closed hatch. "Guess I'm going to." She couldn't quite conceive of that yet, that she was going to die for this.
"You're not going to," Caroline said angrily. "You probably deserve to, but if the Admiral wanted you dead, you and Narcho would both be dead now. This frakking mutiny was too widespread. I can't believe…" she clamped down on the rest of her words and angrily punched in the code. The hatch opened.
Two Marines met them, guns in their faces. Caroline met them evenly. "Back down," she ordered them. "The Admiral is on his way to the CIC."
One of them faltered, but the other only firmed up his grip on his gun. Cally found her breath not coming, and then they were all deafened by the shot. The Marine fell back, clutching his shoulder. Caroline lifted her chin.
"Stand down," she ordered them again. Both Marines put their guns in the air. "Open the cell," Caroline ordered the one who had faltered. Behind the bars, Dee was waiting, standing with her arms crossed. "You okay, Lieutenant?" Caroline asked.
"I'm not hurt," Dee snapped out. "Where's Gaeta?"
"CIC, probably," Caroline said. She paused. "Lee's on the ship as well. He headed for the CIC."
"Let's get there," Dee ordered.
Caroline took the keys off the desk and unlocked the holding cell. "Get in there," she ordered the Marines.
"But he's been… you shot him!" the first Marine protested.
"In the shoulder. I'll send a medical team down. Now get in there!" The Marine knelt down to help his companion, and they staggered into the cell.
Neither Dee nor Caroline looked at Cally as she entered the cell herself. The door slammed shut on them, and Dee looked at Caroline. "You got another gun?"
Caroline freed one from her belt. "Here you go, LT."
"Good. Let's go."
They left. Cally took a deep, shaking breath, and then looked at the Marines.
"Let's see what we can do to get the bleeding stopped," she said, and her voice sounded steadier than she ever would have believed.
***
The medics came down fairly quickly. Cally wasn't surprised. Caroline had made her position on people dying pretty clear.
They left behind a bloodstain on the blanket and an echoing silence. Cally wondered why no one else was being put in here as well, and the silence of the empty holding cell echoed. She couldn't hear the guns anymore, except in her own mind.
She sat down on the cot, wondering about Nicky. She'd been afraid to even think of him all day, afraid of what could happen. Now that everything was over, she desperately wanted him in her arms, just to reassure herself that he was safe. But she knew better than to ask… not that anyone was in here to ask, anyway.
In the silence, she heard her own ragged breathing and her own heartbeat.
***
Her watch said it was well after 2000 hours when the hatch opened, and Adama strode in. He looked tired and angry, and Cally shrank back against the wall. Colonel Tigh was at his side, and Cally found herself staring more at him. At least Tigh had always looked angry- even before this.
"I understand you were one of the ringleaders," Adama said, with no preamble. Cally sensed that honesty would serve her a lot better right now than trying to deny it, and nodded. Adama rubbed his face with a heavy sigh. "But I also understand that you helped save my life."
"I… I guess, sir," Cally said.
"Why?"
"Excuse me?"
"What changed your mind?"
"Sir, I still think we should be fighting the Cylons, not taking help from them," Cally said, not looking at Tigh. "But I don't want us to be fighting each other."
"What did you think was going to happen when you start talking mutiny?" Tigh demanded.
Cally just shrugged.
Adam rubbed his forehead again. "Cool your heels here tonight," he ordered. "We'll figure you out when we get the chance."
"Yes, sir." Cally swallowed hard. "What's going to happen to… to everyone, sir?"
"Can't kill the lot of you," Tigh growled. "Even though that's what we would have done before the Colonies fell. The Astral Queen's got plenty of space."
Cally nodded. "And Gaeta?"
There was no answer, and that was answer enough.
***
Cally didn't mind the fact that she was alone tonight. She lay on the cot, tired despite herself, staring at the ceiling. She had almost drifted off when the hatch opened.
"You okay?"
It was Galen. Cally closed her eyes. "I'm fine. Is it over?"
"Is what over? The mutiny? Yeah, it's over."
"Gaeta?"
There was a long silence. "He's dead," Galen finally said.
"One of these days," Cally parroted softly, "guys like Gaeta are gonna hang. And you and me, we're gonna be there, tying the knots tight."
"Cally-"
"You said it often enough on New Caprica."
"When I thought Gaeta was a collaborator!"
Cally sat up. "And what Adama doing now?" she demanded.
"I don't care what the frak Adama's doing now!" Galen shouted. "I just… Cally, how the frak did you manage to get yourself mixed up in this? Did Gaeta threaten you?"
Cally snorted. "Hardly. I've killed Cylons before."
"I know," Galen said sourly. "But still… going against Adama… it's not like you, Cally."
"It doesn't matter," Cally said, sitting back against the wall. "I was wrong."
"Yeah. You were."
She looked away. "How's Nicky?" she asked.
Galen sighed. "He's okay," he said. "Upset, but okay. He's asleep."
Cally exhaled. "Good."
"So what happens now?" Galen asked.
Cally shrugged. "Don't know," she said. "You're the one outside the bars."
"What do you want to happen now?"
"I don't know." She sighed tiredly. "I really don't know. I just… I don't want to fight anymore."
"With me?"
"With anyone. It doesn't do any good. It doesn't change anything. It doesn’t…" there were tears suddenly blurring her eyes. "It doesn't bring them back."
"Bring who back?"
"My family. My brothers. Jammer. Sonicus. Tarn. Hoshi. Any of them. I can't stand to look at any of them, but them dying? Us dying? It doesn't change a damned thing."
Galen leaned against the bars. "Is that why Gaeta did it?"
Cally shrugged. "He wanted to change everything. That's what we all want, I guess."
"Yeah. We do."
She closed her eyes. "I'm tired, and you should get back to Nicky."
"All right." She imagined he was watching her with that worried expression he used to get. "I'll see you… soon."
She didn't know the answer to that.
***
It was early morning when the cell opened. "Crewman Henderson."
Cally jerked to her feet, noticing the rank immediately. Tigh was standing in front of the bars, holding a sheaf of papers. "Sir."
"It's almost time for your shift."
"Yes, sir."
Tigh eyed her, measuring her with his gaze. "You are hereby demoted to crewman, you have extra shifts in sewage for the next six months, and you can consider yourself on probation. You set one foot out of line…"
"Yes, sir," Cally said.
"Oh, and the Admiral put this through. With your recent… activity… there was no problem with proving grounds." He handed her the papers. "Now get out of here before I change my mind."
"Yes, sir." Cally obeyed, clutching the papers. She headed straight for the deck, but on the way, she stopped to see what the papers were.
No wonder Tigh had called her Henderson. The divorce was approved.
***
They all fell silent when Galen called her name at roll call. She felt it, everyone's eyes on her. They hated her, one of the people who'd brought about the deaths of too many people. She couldn't look anyone in the eye.
She worked in silence, scrubbing the floor, cleaning the tools, prying gunk out of old parts. The afternoon was spent with a temperamental Viper. The truth was, Galen didn't change her duties much, because he couldn't. She might not have her rank, but she had her experience.
No one talked about it. She noticed it. The deck should be brimming with stories and gossip, angry recounts and grief. But it was quiet. The conversations were muted, the subjects were mainly the work at hand. The names Gaeta and Zarek were avoided. Like if they didn't speak of them, it hadn't happened.
That was the worst. Cally could deal with anger. She could deal with hate. She understood those. But pretending it had never happened… it meant everything- all the sacrifice, all the death- it was for nothing. And the people who had followed Gaeta had followed him for a reason. Not just because Earth was a wasteland, but because they thought Gaeta was right. And none of that mattered.
But it should. She didn't expect Gaeta's goals to be met, but just that someone would question. That someone would ask what made people like Gaeta, like Racetrack, like her snap and feel like this was their only recourse. But no one was asking, and soon, it would be forgotten.
***
Cally had made a lot of promises in her life. Some she had kept, some she had broken. Some were easy and some were hard. A lot ended up somewhere in the middle. She wasn't sure where this one fell, except that she knew it was one she needed to keep.
The Remembrance Hall was crowded today, people hanging pictures of those that died the day before. Cally walked silently, the picture clenched in her hand. She was only vaguely aware that there were people watching her, and they weren't happy.
Well, frak them.
She stopped in front of the wall and looked at the picture again. Two men, two smiles, two more names to a list that would soon be forgotten. Cally stared at the picture until her eyes blurred, and then found Jammer. With her chin held high and tears streaming down her face, she pinned the picture to the wall. And as she stepped back to look at it, she remembered Racetrack's toast from just two nights ago.
We're all frak ups, and we're all heroes. And we all pay the price.
With that as her benediction, Cally turned around and left the hall.
On to Part 6