Poll: Mitt Romney Is Candidate Most Voters Want To Get Into Bar Fight With

Having been there to see his commencement speech, I number myself among the majority here. 

 Cost of Freedom at All-Time High

"According to a report released Monday, the cost of American freedom has soared from its previous 1779 high of bravery, sacrifice, fighting for what's right, and 25,071 human lives, up to a record bravery, sacrifice, fighting for what's right, 321,932 human lives, personal privacy, peace of mind, honor, liberty, ( Read more... )

WASHINGTON , DC - Congress is considering sweeping legislation which will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and ( Read more... )

 
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I'm Prepared To Give My Life For This Or Any Country

"I would not hesitate to give my life for or against any other noble nation. Come to think of it, I would even die for a neutral third party caught in the crossfire during a heroic peacekeeping effort, just so long as my death would be in some way related to a country of some kind. That's how ( Read more... )

Governmentium

A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of
the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been
tentatively named Governmentium.

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and
224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312
( Read more... )

Or:  Why I didn't vote, why it doesn't matter, and why the whole thing pisses me off to begin with.

To begin with:  I don't even know who won.  The election was two days ago, and I have not watched a news show, opened a paper, checked the news on the internet, or even asked anyone about it.  To put it frankly, not only don't I know, I don't fucking ( Read more... )