Next up on the chopping block: joeljenkinsSee this little gadget I am even now locking around your neck? It is a cunningly modified perception filter generator, fitted with state-of-the-art morphic resonance manipulators. You will remain yourself, but anyone seeing or touching you will be unshakeably convinced that you are, in fact, a rugby ball. You will ( Read more... )

Buh. Came back from dog walk and thought "why are cats yelling at me?" Then I realised it was their breakfast time and not the middle of the night still. Trouble was, I'd forgotten to defrost any chicks for them last night... so I had to give them some of my cooked cold chicken. Now, they LOVE cooked cold chicken. But they still glared at me as ( Read more... )

The last one being late made this one late... catch up with the murders in the next one. Probably. The caffeine/adrenaline/manic energy rush is wearing off... I may not have much murder left in me.

Have some dogs:

( Dogs being good )

Argh! Slightly delayed on dog walk by mild Spike misbehaviour and photography. This entry's ten minutes late already so I'm just sticking in a swift picture post.

( Cats and dogs! )

I have now had Voodoo Child on repeat for an hour and a half. I feel I may be about to transmogrify into a cross between Anthony Ainley, Christopher Biggins and Zathras. Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

abzdragon - I don't know you very well, although I like your journal. And your zombie. Nevertheless, you are marked for death, and this is how it will ( Read more... )

What? What?? I appear to have run out of victims! Just when I was worked up into a fine frothing frenzy, too! I know, now, exactly why the Master picked this song. Play it often enough and it's like crack-laced psycho-espresso with psilocybin sprinkles. Fucking AWESOME. I'm bopping in my chair and making my dogs nervous. LOVE it ( Read more... )

bulletslc - Because you love good books and good television as much as I do, you are condemned to be tied to a chair, your eyes pinned open, in front of a TV showing nothing but afternoon game shows, while behind you, a monotonous yet shrill electronic voice reads out trite romance novels - the sort where there isn't even any sex. You will die screaming of ( Read more... )

Mwahahaaha, I get to stay up all night AND murder people!

hopefulnebula, for you I have devised the most heinous slow torturous death imaginable: you are chained to a computer which will show you nothing but the Neoboards, where you will be required to offer help and technical support to every single poster. I suspect you would last, oh, maybe an hour before ( Read more... )

Comment here and I'll tell you how I'd murder you. If I were going to murder you, that is. I'm not normally in the habit of murdering people, but I find that doesn't stop it being fun thinking of cool ways to do it.

*manic grin*

How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?

The Mongols hoard, not boards, but Fnord! Fnord discord, praise the Lord! And Bob knows, you never get bored when you have Fnord.

The weirdest thing Spike ever did was the time he chased Bloaty through the Stargate, and found himself facing a horde of mingled Mongols, Daleks ( Read more... )