They said my friends were just an unruly mob
Next up on the chopping block: joeljenkins!
See this little gadget I am even now locking around your neck? It is a cunningly modified perception filter generator, fitted with state-of-the-art morphic resonance manipulators. You will remain yourself, but anyone seeing or touching you will be unshakeably convinced that you are, in fact, a rugby ball. You will then be dropped in play in the middle of the next Rugby League match you were hoping to watch, whereupon you will be gradually kicked and scrummed to death.
To add insult to injury, the unavoidable disconnect between your perceived and your actual shape will cause your team to play like a bunch of little old ladies with five legs between the lot of them, and they will suffer the worst defeat in the history of known rugby.
See this little gadget I am even now locking around your neck? It is a cunningly modified perception filter generator, fitted with state-of-the-art morphic resonance manipulators. You will remain yourself, but anyone seeing or touching you will be unshakeably convinced that you are, in fact, a rugby ball. You will then be dropped in play in the middle of the next Rugby League match you were hoping to watch, whereupon you will be gradually kicked and scrummed to death.
To add insult to injury, the unavoidable disconnect between your perceived and your actual shape will cause your team to play like a bunch of little old ladies with five legs between the lot of them, and they will suffer the worst defeat in the history of known rugby.