In Search of my lost sexuality...

[littlegoth]

I think that part of my problem is the lack of flirting... Another part is fear of who I was

Comments

[baronsamedi]

It's hard to say, honestly. I am romantically jelous of my wife, in the sense that I don't want her hooking up with other people, and would not want to be part of a "three person relationship". OTOH, If she wanted to sleep with someone without a relationship I would be up for discussing it so long as they did not have a relationship occur between them. This does not mean this is what either of us looks for, but it's what I would allow. Being a clueless hetboy, I would have even less reservations with her hooking up with a female, esp. a bi female we could both hook up with. I guess if I were bi it would be easier. What would be important to me is that she is mine at the end of the day. We dont have an open marriage, really, just a state with a potential for other mates. Basically, my rule is if you want to have a fling, talk to me about it...preferebly before you talk to him/her about it

[bosantibe]

You know, having been on the moral objector end more times than I would have preferred (I guess that meant that people were comfortable around me...) I can say with even greater conviction that the crux of any morality, whether or not related to relationships and jealousy, is the respect for someone else's boundaries. Being so often the odd man out in terms of morality it's my point of view that an alternative morality can rarely be said to be without merit; any well-defined moral position is better than a simple lack of convictions. Most people never have that sentiment occur to them, but when it comes to friends it's not so big a deal as long as they don't cast aspersions on you based strictly on their own moral point-of-view.

[rev_mom]

just because a person flirts doesn't mean they are honor-bound to act on it...men do it all the time. it's kind of a reality check: am i a woman? does anyone notice? am i still desireable?

we need that...we all need that.

[jeshala]

That's pretty much what I was gon' say.
I'd also suggest sittin' down and talking to Doug about limits and whatnot. I know you have them out of respect and love, but it's good to clarify what 'counts' and what 'doesn't'. Just so everything is defined and comfortable.

[omnian]

Agreed. Couples make all kinds of agreements in their relationships. As long as everyone is open and honest, I don't see any issues. Besides, just talking about it can be exciting enough without doing it.

[rev_mom]

In part, it's both shifting hormones and shifting roles in your personal life. It will get better, I promise, but right now most of your energy goes into your children and making a home and in work. That's the simple reality of it...There are only 24 hours in a day, and only seven days in a week. In priorities, you get real close to the bottom, right? it won't always be like this; it just feels like it.

The important thing is not to lose yourself.

[bosantibe]

I see articles flung around left and right about how all women know that all men fantasize about other women and stare and all manner of other things and most of the well-adjusted ones can cope as long as the men don't flaunt it. I really can't speak outside of abstract, but I picture sexuality as a force of one's personal nature. The sensuality will bleed through into everything in the unrepressed, but that doesn't mean you're indulging when all your sexual focus is on one man.