i desperately need to change some things! i just have absolutely no willpower. i really just need to turn some things around in my life. there are so many things i still think and worry about that i just shouldnt anymore. its really depressing. but i try not to let my true feelings show anywhere...because no one would understand...and they would ( Read more... )

I have decided that i am going to get over this.....so it's not meant to be right now....maybe later.....or maybe i will find someone new....who knows.....but i do know that i want to be his friend....i want to be his chick friend that he can be comfortable coming to for advice....ya know......i still want to hang out and everything.....but anyway ( Read more... )

Today i called into work....i feel bad because i am an assistant and i shouldnt do that....but i just couldnt go.......i knew that if something crappy happened i would break down and cry......im trying so hard not to cry all the time but its so hard.....i love him so much....i am going to try and stay friends.....but it will take awhile for me to ( Read more... )

well it has finally happened........me and dustin have broken up......this is the worst day of my life.....im so upset i cant stop crying......i dont know how i am going to function.....i love him sooo much it hurts......i do trust him i do.......why did this have to happen to me.......i dont know if i am gonna love anyone like i love him.....sure ( Read more... )

well....i guess now he is over that whole fucking bitchy thing!....but now he is saying how i dont trust him and that is the worst thing in the world......i do trust him! that hurts soooo damn much! god.....so i made a mistake....jesus im sorry! ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR i dont understand men!!!!!!!!!!!! ( Read more... )

OMG!!!I AM SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT!!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO OPEN MY STUPID FUCKING MOUTH!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT SHIT!!! WHY CANT I JUST KEEP IT TO MYSELF!!!GOOOOOODDDDDD............i cant take this shit! i have been crying a million days in a row!!!!!god im soooo upset!

Well.... i was going to stay at Tabithas for two days but i just cant bring myself to do it!....I mean it is hard to sleep without him next to me...you know i am just comfortable with that sleeping position. I dont know what is going to happen.....he says he still loves me....and he is trying really hard to make it work.....so i hope everything ( Read more... )

ok....well...today sucked alot of ass! first im all upset because i feel like dustin is really distancing himself from me! then i go into work! and that dumb little annoying bitch is working....AGAIN! I really cannot stand her at freaking all! Today she asked nico if i hated her!! hahahah ya bitch i really kind of do! Just hearing her laugh at ( Read more... )

I am sooooo not happy right now! He doesn't even act like im here! he is sooo quiet! i dont know what the deal is! i try my hardest to make us work because he makes me soo happy! except for of course right now! EERRR!!! WHY is he acting like this???? I dont understand! he really acts like he is just trying to drive me to the edge! Well ya know what ( Read more... )

So i dont understand why guys are so difficult! I swear they make everything so damn hard. Recently i was being really bitchy at home.....and he told me it really turned him off of me .......so you know since then i havent been bitchy well at home at least. anyway he still seems kind of cranky and says he just needs time to get over it! That is ( Read more... )