English translation or equivalent of Unetane Tokeff (title/phrase)

[hagar_972]

This is a bit of a strange question. It's for a story though, and it's not exactly google-able.

I am trying to translate - or find an English equivalent of - the name of the Hebrew Atonement Day chant, ונתנה תוקף. (On Wikipedia.) It's old and weird Hebrew, and I need a translation that will both preserve the original sense (rather than, say, using

Comments

[starrylites]

Ugh, if my BDB wasn't in storage in my parent's garage, I'd look it up. I'll give it a shot in my lexicon sometime tomorrow, maybe it can at least shine some light on it.

[evilstorm]

Ooh, interesting. I'm not sure how helpful this is, but I'm getting pings for the phrase "deliver us from evil", which I think has a similar bombastic religious feeling. Or anything about deliverance, really. Along similar lines, "let me not be confounded".

[hagar_972]

Hm, playing on "Deliverance" could work. It's a bit generic, but it can be used to mean both giving up and being saved, which is a plus. Thanks!

ETA: having just traced the origin of the phrase in Christian tradition - I like it and I might use more elements from this prayer, though the phrase itself is probably too ubiquitous to be used as-is. Thanks again!

[evilstorm]

No prob! It is rather common--commonest Christian prayer, heck--but it seemed to fit.

[blueleaves_]

Hi, just chipping in. Looking at your scenario, I'm not sure if this is really what you're looking for, but the best thing I can find being used for an English 'title' of the prayer is "U'Netaneh Tokef Kedushat Hayom" / "Let Us Tell How Utterly Holy This Day Is". ( source: http://www.ou.org/chagim/roshhashannah/unetanehtext.htm... )

[azalaea]

There's a rather gorgeous Christian hymn which has pretty much that exact phrase in the following verse:

"O tell of his might, O sing of his grace
Whose robe is the light, whose canopy space
His chariots of wrath the deep thunder-clouds form;
And dark is His path on the wings of the storm."

http://nethymnal.org/htm/o/w/owtking.htm

[hagar_972]

Much more pastoral than what I had in mind, but it gives me more context to work with. Thanks!

[azalaea]

Hmm - to me it doesn't sound "pastoral" at all, much more "OH HOLY SHIT IT'S GOD." But you want something more "doomy", well, have you tried Revelation, the last book of the New Testament? I mean, it's about the end of the world and thus pretty much doom and "get yourselves in order OR ELSE" all the way through. Starts here: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=73&chapter=1&version=9

Or you could try some version of Matthew 25:13 "ye know neither the day nor the hour", - i.e, you never know when Christ/Judgement is going to come, so make sure you're ready. http://scripturetext.com/matthew/25-13.htm... )

[hagar_972]

It has pretty natural imagery and the invoked sense of Father has something more than sternness in it. That, on my standards, is postively cheery. High Holiday prayers - which were my startpoint - are about 50% lists of sins and strange death and 50% "You're very great and we're very small" so next to that, the psalm you linked to is a cheery and warm Sabbath song.

Eek, the end of the world is... not exactly what I meant. I intended not so much "Judgement Day" as "personal Judgement". (Again, my cultural context is of a religion where you'd judged for life or death every year, on a date that's equivalent to ten days after a happy holiday like Christmass, complete with a 25hr fast, 16hr prayer and a week and a half of aplogizing to anyone you may have hurt in the passing year. And that's the secular-to-standard-observant, not the orthodox+ version. This practice is so deeply ingrained that about 70% of declared seculars fast on this day, and virtually everyone to the apologies and treat them as sacred

[donutsweeper]

The old prayerbook I used had it very similar to this:
http://www.ou.org/chagim/roshhashannah/unetanehtext.htm

[hagar_972]

Yes, this came out in Googling, but thanks.

[mazal_]

Can't find a machzor at the moment, but the English translation I recall from it from memory is "Let us declare the awesome power of this day," which to me is stronger and sterner than what others have posted previously.

[hagar_972]

Thanks. Though, at this point i've given up on a literal translation - the context i'm looking for doesn't seem to carry over, and the English is so much less elegant :/.