fIVE || and the worst is yet to come

[limerenceloli]

[Good morning residents of Mayfield~ Saya is going around the neighborhood taping questionnaires on the doors of each household. They read as such:]

Questionnaire

Please answer the following questions as completely and truthfully as possible.

1) My gender is (check all that apply):

[  ] Male
[  ] Female
[  ] Neither

2) I am of the _____ species (check

Comments

[wolf_faerie]

[Notices this taped to the door, and stares at it for a few minutes.]

....I can't read this. What does it say?

[limerenceloli]

[Saya conveniently happens to be walking around in the neighborhood. Sees somebody examining her survey .]

Hello~ I see that you got my questionnaire! Would you take a moment to fill it out?

You'll receive a free cookie for participating!

[Pulls out a tray of oddly-shaped lump!cookies from her back.]

[wolf_faerie]

A questionnaire...does that mean I have to answer questions?

[She notices the cookies Saya's holding.]

Alright, I'll answer. But could you read this out for me? I can't read very well.

[limerenceloli]

Hmmm... okay~

Question one: What is your gender? Female, male, or neither?

[covets_humanity]

[Envy skims the questionnaire and then crumples it in his hand.]

No solicitors.

[limerenceloli]

[When Envy isn't looking, Saya sneaks back and TAPES ANOTHER ONE ON HIS DOOR.]

[covets_humanity]

Damn it. Okay, fine.

1) My gender is (check all that apply):

[ X ] Male
[ X ] Female
[ X ] Neither

2) I am of the _____ species (check all that apply).

[ ] Human
[ ] Robot
[ ] Demon
[ ] "Country"
[ X ] Immortal
[ ] Alien
[ X ] Other (Please specify): Better than you.

3) I wish to have children in the future/now.

[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ X ] I do not possess reproductive organs.

[limerenceloli]

[The next day, Envy will find a letter in his mailbox reading:

THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN OUR QUESTIONNAIRE .

UNFORTUNATELY, YOUR RESPONSE HAS BEEN DISCOUNTED DUE TO YOUR INFERTILITY AND GENDER CONFUSION.

HAVE A GREAT DAY.

SINCERELY,

Saya]

[punkassed]

1) My gender is (check all that apply):
[ ✔ ] Male
[ ] Female
[ ] Neither

2) I am of the _____ species (check all that apply).
[ ] Human
[ ] Robot
[ ] Demon
[ ] "Country"
[ ] Immortal
[ ] Alien
[ ] Other (Please specify): no

3) I wish to have children in the future/now.
[ ] Yes
[ ✔ ] No
[ ] I do not possess reproductive organs.
[SCRIBBLED ON THE SIDE--] BUT SEX IS AWESOME

[Worst handwriting ever. Mailed back.]

[limerenceloli]

[The next day, the questionable is on your door again with question two HIGHLIGHTED.

There is also a cookie taped next to the survey. It may or may not taste like blood.]

[punkassed]

[Decides to furiously scribble out the entire section with a magic marker.

Tries the cookie. Is grossed out. Then adds a note at the bottom: LEARN 2 BAKE

And sends it back.]

[limerenceloli]

[Day three consists of brand new surveys taped to your door and mailbox and your porch and smack damn in the middle of your driveway assuming that you have one.

Now there is a whole plate of cookies on your front step. They taste even more of blood and guts than before.]

[limerenceloli]

[Sees you and cracks a friendly smile.]

Hello mister, won't you fill out my survey?

[Shoves one into your hands. Look at her smile. LOOK AT IT.

IS IT NOT CUTE. Surely you wish to make her happy by filling out the paper!]

[limerenceloli]

Well, Saya has encountered people who are personification of "countries". She's not sure how it works either...

is this cool

[steel_massifail]

[[Massimo is sitting in his windowsill and is looking out the window because he's bored

and totally notices Saya. Wave wave.]]

totally cool bro

[limerenceloli]

Oi, Massimo~ Hi!

[Saya returns the wave with one of her own. She takes one of her questionnaires and fills it out before going over and totally forking it over to Massimo.]

I insist you fill this out~

[Massimo will notice that the second question has already been checked. ROBOT.]

awesome

[steel_massifail]

[[He jumps down from the first-story window, now looking at the paper.]]

...

[[ 1) My gender is (check all that apply):

[X] Male
[ ] Female
[ ] Neither

2) I am of the _____ species (check all that apply).

[ ] Human
[X] Robot
[ ] Demon
[ ] "Country"
[ ] Immortal
[ ] Alien
[ ] Other (Please specify)

3) I wish to have children in the future/now.

[ ] Yes
[ ] No
[ ] I do not possess reproductive organs.
[X] I'm not sure right now.

YES, he added that to the third question, but it's best to be honest.]]

Here!

[[He hands it back to her

he totally had a pen what are you saying]]

he can't add a fourth option - that's CHEATING

[limerenceloli]

Thank you~! Saya appreciates this very much~

[Takes a look at his survey.]

You're not sure if you want to have children?