fIVE || and the worst is yet to come

[limerenceloli]

[Good morning residents of Mayfield~ Saya is going around the neighborhood taping questionnaires on the doors of each household. They read as such:]

Questionnaire

Please answer the following questions as completely and truthfully as possible.

1) My gender is (check all that apply):

[  ] Male
[  ] Female
[  ] Neither

2) I am of the _____ species (check

Comments

[wolf_faerie]

[Notices this taped to the door, and stares at it for a few minutes.]

....I can't read this. What does it say?

[limerenceloli]

[Saya conveniently happens to be walking around in the neighborhood. Sees somebody examining her survey .]

Hello~ I see that you got my questionnaire! Would you take a moment to fill it out?

You'll receive a free cookie for participating!

[Pulls out a tray of oddly-shaped lump!cookies from her back.]

[wolf_faerie]

A questionnaire...does that mean I have to answer questions?

[She notices the cookies Saya's holding.]

Alright, I'll answer. But could you read this out for me? I can't read very well.

[limerenceloli]

Hmmm... okay~

Question one: What is your gender? Female, male, or neither?

[wolf_faerie]

Female!

[limerenceloli]

[... and you are not qualified for this survey you not-male female.]

... and that's it! You've, uh, completed the whole thing! Congrats!

[wolf_faerie]

[wait wat why am i not qualified for your takeover of my species

...really? But I thought there was lots more writing than that on that piece of paper.

[limerenceloli]

[Do you have sperm circulating in your testes?]

Your eyes deceive you.

Take your cookie and be on your way~

[Holds out platter of cookies]

[wolf_faerie]

Oh. Um. Alright then.

[Aisling can't help but feel that something's up here. But she soon forgets about that in favour of delicious cookies.]

Thank you for the cookies. [She takes one.]

[limerenceloli]

Any time~

I'll be seeing you around then? Have a nice day!

[Puts her on 'potential dinner platter' list.]

[wolf_faerie]

Yes, I'll be seeing you.

[She takes a bite of the cookie...and turns several interesting shades of green at the taste.

She later goes to discreetly spit it out.]

[limerenceloli]

[The cookies are made of human guts. Enjoy!]

[wolf_faerie]

[WELL, NO WONDER]

[Aisling makes a mental note to not take any baked goods from that particular person in the future.]