The Passive Voice

[lillibet]

One of the challenges for us as parents is helping Alice to figure out how to effectively ask for what she wants.

Comments

[gilana]

Man, that's something I really wish I had learned as a kid, and I'm still trying to learn it now. Good for you for consciously working on it!

[sethg_prime]

As the parent of three children aged almost-four, almost-six, and eight, I absolutely do not think learning to ask nicely is a small thing.

[woodwardiocom]

She'll often point to something in a store and say "We don't have one of those at home,"

Wow, the resemblance to buxom_bey in the refrigerator section of Home Depot is uncanny.

[ceo]

I could have sworn I saw a refrigerator in your kitchen last time I was there.

[buxom_bey]

Yes, but not a double door, bottom freezer, stainless steel one. *grin*

[jelazakazone]

My kids might have done that sort of thing at age 3, but it wasn't a request for something. It was simply an observation. And it might have been a time when they were making sure that the rule was still the rule.

I am sure you know what she means when she says something like that, but I thought I would throw in another perspective.

I have one child who is able to ask for things politely and nicely and one who really has a hard time with this. They were born this way, I swear. One came out with "please" and "Thank you" already hard wired.

[lillibet]

Yeah--I wish I could have remembered the other two examples. One was about getting to draw another picture and one was about what toys she could have in bed. There are ways that she talks about things that she doesn't want, she's just interested in them, this has a particular "if I come at it this way, maybe I can get it past her" tone/look.

[pekmez]

Kata will sometimes say, wistfully, "I wish I could buy one of those" (usually a toy of the sort she knows we don't buy, or a treat with similar constraints)... (pause) "...but I know I can't." It seems to help her cope with the things she realizes are not even reasonable to ask for, and she will generally get annoyed if I try to tell her that I understand but am not planning on buying it right then.

[lillibet]

Sure--as I mentioned in my comment to Jodi above, I see that behavior too, but this pattern seems very deliberate and manipulative to me.