The Passive Voice

Jul 21, 2010 12:58

One of the challenges for us as parents is helping Alice to figure out how to effectively ask for what she wants.

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chanaleh July 21 2010, 20:25:31 UTC
This puts me in mind also of this entry from moominmolly. :-)

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lillibet July 21 2010, 22:06:51 UTC
My MIL has a story of Jason pulling a box of cereal from the shelf and bursting into tears. When she rushed to him he was sobbing "I want this but it has BPA and BHT in it and you won't buy that!"

As I said in my response to Jodi, I don't think that I'm misinterpreting this pattern, just that I wasn't able to give enough examples to make it clear what I'm seeing. I do put a fair amount of intention into saying "yes" to her as often as possible, even when I'm not giving in, e.g. "yes, we will definitely do that...tomorrow," or "yes, I'd be happy to buy you something you want...in the produce department".

One thing about grocery lists--Alice has learned that what she gets when we don't have something she wants is "I will put that on the list" and so she's started asking "can we put it on the list?" and reminding me as we leave for the store "did we put x and y on the list?"

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entirelysonja July 22 2010, 12:32:08 UTC
Erika has a tendency to be unable to say what she wants if she thinks there's a chance we might say no. It's getting better, but it was seriously annoying for a while. I don't know how many times we had conversations like:

Erika: Could I have a (mumble)?
Us: We didn't understand. Can you say it louder?
Erika: I'd like a (mumble).
Us: We still can't hear you. We can't say yes unless we can hear you!

(and so on)

Karl also says things like, "we don't have one of those at home," implying that he wishes we did. Erika says, "I really like this [object]. You never buy me anything in museum gift shops."

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