Define "work"

[lillibet]

Elsewhere, someone was discussing the work that he and his partner are doing to improve/sustain their relationship and someone else commented that if a relationship requires work, then it may not be worth continuing. This led into a discussion of what defines "work," more generally. If you enjoy a process, is it work? If you choose to do

Comments

[dpolicar]

I'd say it's "work" if you're doing it because you want the results, rather than because you want the experience of doing it.

That said, sometimes what one wants is the experience of doing work, which would make a hash of my formulation. But I still think I have the right basic idea.

BTW, I'm inclined to disagree with the idea that a relationship that requires work isn't worth continuing. I know, you're shocked.

[androidqueen]

i like that definition.

also, i agree with your assertion about relationships and work. i'll stop before i say something rude.

[lillibet]

I'd say it's "work" if you're doing it because you want the results, rather than because you want the experience of doing it.

What if you want both? I throw out cooking as a possible example, at least in certain cases.

[dpolicar]

A fine question.

I'd say that to the extent that you're doing it only because you want the results, it's work to that extent. If you'd miss nothing about the activity were the results handed to you, it's pure work. If you'd miss certain aspects of it but not others, it's partially work. If you'd miss the whole thing, it's not work at all.

There are certainly perplexing boundary cases like deciding in retrospect that something that "seemed like work at the time" really wasn't, or vice versa.

Cooking is a funny one for me, in that I sometimes enjoy the experience, and sometimes merely the results, but I'm also aware that if I spend long enough away from it I suffer emotionally. Which to my mind makes it two kinds of work - one gustatory, one therapeutic - as well as, in some aspects, play.

[skreeky]

if a relationship requires work, then it may not be worth continuing

Good gods, what a preposterous idea! I wonder if this person has any relationships worth saving at all, and whether the other person involved would agree.

[lillibet]

See, the funny thing is that the person saying this is someone whom I respect immensely, largely for her skill in relationships and the deeply good (inasmuch as an outsider can ever judge) and highly stable relationships she conducts. That's why I focused on semantics, because I know from watching that our approaches are not that widely disparate.

[kerri9494]

'Work' is expending effort. I think it's value neutral, really...it's not a bad/hard thing in and of itself

[mangosteen]

I assert that any sufficiently complex and close relationship needs active effort in order to continue and thrive. This may or may not coincide with some other definition of "work". Only weeds grow naturally.

[hammercock]

Yeah, that.

[schmoomom]

Thirding that one. Eloquent.

[marmota]

if a relationship requires work, then it may not be worth continuing.

I agree; either there is something very semantically interesting going on in this person's mind, or something is horribly wrong.