Define "work"
Elsewhere, someone was discussing the work that he and his partner are doing to improve/sustain their relationship and someone else commented that if a relationship requires work, then it may not be worth continuing. This led into a discussion of what defines "work," more generally. If you enjoy a process, is it work? If you choose to do
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Running a marathon is 'work'. To some people, it's liberating and exciting, and to others it's painful and awful.
To maintain a good relationship, then, there HAS to be 'work'...or 'effort', right? I mean, otherwise, you're just coexisting. Getting up to get someone a ginger ale is 'work'. (Heck, getting up to get yourself one is 'work', too, but I assume we're considering *extra* 'work'.)
If it's hard work, odious work, work that makes you feel bad rather than feeling good, then that's an indicator that something is wrong. Or if you're the kind of person who's so selfish that any 'work' you do for someone other than yourself is to be suffered through, then perhaps you're just not the relationship type. :-)
So yes. A relationship is 'work'. It means doing things you might not otherwise do, or not doing things you would. And those changes/transitions are 'work'. Remembering flowers on her birthday is 'work'. It's the motivations behind that (I want to, v. I have to) which make it 'good work' or 'bad work'.
I think.
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