As a wise young boy once said... "It's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive." Afterward...
"This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man. But when you do, please don't choose revenge. Let your anger out and then let it go. Forgive him.
Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing."
But anyway, this is a well-written post and I completely agree. :) I used to always hold heavy grudges, but learning to forgive has made my life so much easier.
I once heard "it's like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die from it." and it fits. The logic never worked for me though, given what all I put up with my from ex as I'm sure you remember.
The only solution for me was to just tell myself I wasn't going to be addicted to being the victim of what he did. The only reason to hold on and tell people what I had been through was for the attention I got for how horrible things were. That shouldn't define me, or be anything worth talking about, so out the window it went cold turkey pretty much.
"If you are such a mindful person as to be considering forgiving someone who has not only done you wrong but is not sorry for it, I honestly believe that your compassion is great enough that you deserve to be free of the pain of anger associated with continuing to be unforgiving."
That is why Buddhism has been very helpful to me I think...because there isn't a "forgive and forget" mentality...which almost never works for me. I don't forget things easily. But recognizing them for what they are (the acts that need to be forgiven) and going through the process of eliminating the anger that emanates from them...that has been very useful to me. And once I have done it more than once...the smaller things don't bother me as much anymore.
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"This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man. But when you do, please don't choose revenge. Let your anger out and then let it go. Forgive him.
Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing."
But anyway, this is a well-written post and I completely agree. :) I used to always hold heavy grudges, but learning to forgive has made my life so much easier.
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The only solution for me was to just tell myself I wasn't going to be addicted to being the victim of what he did. The only reason to hold on and tell people what I had been through was for the attention I got for how horrible things were. That shouldn't define me, or be anything worth talking about, so out the window it went cold turkey pretty much.
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yeah, you put it very well in that last part.
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That is why Buddhism has been very helpful to me I think...because there isn't a "forgive and forget" mentality...which almost never works for me. I don't forget things easily. But recognizing them for what they are (the acts that need to be forgiven) and going through the process of eliminating the anger that emanates from them...that has been very useful to me. And once I have done it more than once...the smaller things don't bother me as much anymore.
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