Justin (guardian852) and I have traveled here to the barren wastelands from the year 2018. Things are about to get all Blade Runner. Justin is wearing pants. SPACETIME.

The living statues gather at the end of La Rambla, and most of them are perfect.


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Oh wow. So, like, I thought I was the maximum amount of useless back home, but no. No it was all a lie. Turns out that in America I'm only MOSTLY useless. In Spain I have discovered and reached a whole new level of ineffectual ( Read more... )

I blinked. I blinked again. And the page still appeared to contain a row of bored-looking anthropomorphic bacon strips. Luckily, the artist was sitting next to me at the time ( Read more... )

This is Vessaline.


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MARA: My girlfriend thinks your coffee tastes like Satan's asshole, you know. She asks in the morning whenever she sleeps over, “Are we going to have good coffee, or are we drinking Satan's Asshole Roast again?”
LEX: Satan's Asshole Roast is a misnomer. We drink the same roast of coffee, it's just that you guys add more water and sugar and whipped ( Read more... )

Gulp brand bait worms certainly have a flavor. I'm not quite sure it's the “natural live bait taste!” they advertise, but when you're holding them in your mouth, waiting to spit them all over the Winter King's suit, your tongue certainly knows there's something going on ( Read more... )

I almost missed the chance to watch Misha get his tattoo because my face was too busy being a tsunami of mucus. I figured the tattoo parlor would want to maintain a clean n' healthy vibe, sorta like a doctor's office. I mean, those are the main places that use fake skeletons as decor, right? Tattoo parlors and doctor's offices? So I called Misha ( Read more... )

I just ran out of justice tampons, so I guess I'll have to buy the regular kind now ( Read more... )

My new roommate isn't named Piña Colada. His parents named him after a completely different fruity alcoholic beverage, but I'd like to show a token of respect for his privacy so I'm not going to tell you which one ( Read more... )