I have a job offer! A real one ( Read more... )

Irishfunnyman77: holler
DereKLee025: ?
Irishfunnyman77: sorry, i mean, holler at that
Irishfunnyman77: i agree
DereKLee025: oh ya lol
DereKLee025: im not like into the slang on im
DereKLee025: i just know the basic stuff
DereKLee025: [brb,gtg,etc.]

Behold: My first ever standup comedy routine!

http://web.syr.edu/~sroconno/SeamusFirstStandup.wav

( Read more... )

*ring*ring*

Me: Hey, did you hear anything new about your job at the State Department?
My Best Man: No, not yet, but thanks for calling. This means a lot to me.
Me: Don't mention it, man.
My Best Man: OK, well, I should go. I'm actually driving right now, and trying to eat an ice cream cone, which is becoming progressively more difficult.

Not for the squeamish or humorless:

http://www.dfw.com/mld/dfw/news/weird_news/14773219.htm?source=rss&channel=dfw_weird_news

I mean, I had a great 21st birthday in many, many respects. I survived my first day of work (and earned $193.50 doing it, $21.50 an hour suckaaaaaaaaas), got most of my family and most of Kirstin's family together at a baseball game, and yes, I bought my first beer and got carded. It took the guy a few minutes to do the math, but then he chuckled ( Read more... )

Seriously, it's the real deal: http://dailyorangeblog.com/?p=71

This one's actually funny! And not of my own doing!

The whole time I was flying over Los Angelos and San Jose, I kept looking down on all the unbelievably expansive suburbs and thinking, "The living down there must be so cushy, I could jump out of this plane, and as long as I tucked and rolled when I hit, by the time I got to my feet I'd have an SUV and a half-million-dollar mortgage."

( A new tradition is born )

Hey, I promised a column a week, and now I'm 1 for 1. Be cool, OK? It may be my only accomplishment of the week... or summer.

http://dailyorangeblog.com/?p=69