Reset
Title: Reset [1/11]
Pairings: Kris/Lay, Kai/Lay, Baekhyun/Kris
Genre: AU, angst, fluff,
Warning: Character death, un-beta-ed
Rating: Pg-13
Wordcount: 4,276
Summary: An early relationship blooms but as time progresses, they find themselves drifting apart. A Christmas of fate changing, will it be enough to save Yifan and Yixing's relationship?
I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX | X
(Disclaimer: I do not own Yixing or Kris or frankly anyone else mentioned in this. This is also, to some point, loosely based on the concept of the Christmas movie "Three Days."
A/N: This will be a chaptered fic. This is only the intro chapter.)
The first time Yifan sees Yixing, it’s in high school.
The class had settled down as the teacher began to explain the theories behind the space time continuum, when the door opened. Like everyone else in the room, Kris had turned to look over towards the door where a boy wearing the uniform for the students in their second year stood. He didn’t pay attention to what the boy said nor did he really care as to why the teacher seemed flustered. It was only when the teacher left in a hurry that he drew his attention away from the boy and instead on the raucous that had stirred up.
“Shame, huh?”
He turned to look over towards his seating partner. Lu Han. Yifan found himself slowly nodding in agreement though he really had no idea what it was that he was agreeing to. He looked over towards the door once more and only barely managed to catch the attention of the boy before he turned around and left with someone from his class. He only later found out that the boy’s name was Yixing. He felt odd inquiring about the boy especially since he had only seen him and not so much as exchanged a word.
Yifan caught himself seeing the boy more and more in school; it had gotten to the point where he wondered if Yixing had twins. It turned out that Yixing was just really involved in the school activities that pertained to the arts. Lu Han had begun to tease him alongside with Xiumin, a friend of theirs that happened to be in a different class. Jokes about him falling for Yixing were made frequently, he’d disapprove of them but still Lu Han and Xiumin persisted. How could he be falling for someone he hadn’t even talked to?
The first time Yifan talks to Yixing it’s during the winter festivities.
Yifan, much to his displeasure, had been recruited to help decorate the school in an attempt to get the students in a much more festive mood. Any thoughts that he had about Yixing had disappeared more than a month ago and he was now back to where he had been before he had seen him. His hand hovers over the green tinsel that needed to be hung along the doorways. Tao, a freshman that had been assigned to the same job, had taken a fondness to the right side of the hallway leaving the left for Yifan to do. It was odd but he wasn’t going to question the younger. A lock of brown hair fell out of place as he began securing the green tinsel to his old homeroom; he glanced over to see Yixing placing a banner along the wall next to him.
“Looks good doesn’t it?”
It took a moment for Yifan to realize that Yixing was talking to him. He nodded and got back to work.
“I’m Zhang Yixing.”
But he already knew that, Yixing didn’t. Nevertheless, Yifan secured the last of the tinsel to the door before looking over at Yixing.
“Yifan.”
It was easy enough to talk to the younger, and he found that the decorating went much faster as they continued to talk.
It takes less than a two months for Yifan to ask Yixing out.
“The first character of our names plays on the stars….”
Yifan glanced over towards Yixing as they continued to walk down the street, their fingers interlocked. They had just finished seeing the newest Pixar movie, Yixing had insisted that it was a must see and that any good movie enthusiast would know that Pixar was brilliant in their films. He had been right, but Yifan wasn’t about to tell him that. It had been about three weeks since they had first gone out on a date.
“Do you think it means something?”
Yifan takes a moment to ponder the thought and shrugs not long after. He’s never really given thought to their names. He always focused on Yixing, that was all that matter. Yixing. His smile faltered for a moment as they reached Yixing’s house. A moment of hesitance and Yifan found that he didn’t want to let go. They stood there for a moment; the good bye was always the hardest part.
“Yifan…”
Yixing was look up at him and Yifan found that he was leaning up towards him. His heart began to race as he leaned down and gently placed his lips on Yixing’s. It was their first kiss but it wouldn’t be their last.
Weeks turned into months and Yifan soon found himself living with Yixing.
“Have I ever told you I love you?”
Yifan chuckled a little as he looked over to his side where a sweaty yet gleeful Yixing lay. He pulled him closer not wanting any space between them. Skin against skin that was how he wanted it.
“I’ve think you’ve mentioned it a few times.”
A coy smirk playing upon his lips just before he took Yixing’s lips in his. Words of love were always exchanged between the two and it was never just during or after sex. They meant every word of it and had already made plans for the future. They were ready for it and as Yixing cuddled closer to him, Yifan couldn’t think of any other place he wanted to be. He was Yixing’s and Yixing in turn was his. This was the promise they had made to each other long ago.
Months turned to Years, the first and second being the best. Yixing was the first to break.
His heart was racing as he wrapped his legs around the hips of the person that was currently bringing him bliss. He was so close. It didn’t take long for him to reach his climax and though he was slightly embarrassed by the mess that they had made, he was more than glad to have even made it. He placed kisses on lips that had once been foreign to him. He cuddled closer to a person that he had only met a few months ago.
“I love you, Yixing.”
His heart stopped for a moment.
“Me too.”
It was never said back, because he wouldn’t mean it. He glanced down at the chest of the person he was currently spending time with. The contrast in skin tones interested him and maybe this was why he had taken him on as his lover. Kim Jongin, or Kai as he liked to be called, had only just started out in the dance company Yixing worked for. He had played Rothbart in Swan Lake while Yixing had taken on the role of Prince Sigfried. Needless to say, the hours they had spent together had accumulated to the point where the company dancers knew what they were doing behind closed doors. They made sure to keep Yifan unaware of it as best as they could, if keeping this a secret was what kept their two male principal dancers happy then they were more than happy to assist. None of them knew that Yifan was already aware of Yixing’s adventure.
“You’re perfect.”
Yixing smiled and placed a kiss on Kai’s lips. It was much different than the kisses Yifan gave him.
“You’re not so bad yourself.”
He watched as Kai, chuckled and found that he really did like the way the mixed but it wasn’t what he wanted. The sex was nice and he had to admit that their dancing together had improved since the affair had started but there was something missing. It was probably the reason why he never really told Kai that he loved him. He still only told Yifan those words.
Yixing called off the affair and admitted to it a few months later. He begged Yifan for forgiveness.
The fourth year proved harder, around May Yifan was the one who strayed.
He was holding someone different, someone who he had learned to love and was willing to leave almost everything for. Byun Baekhyun sat on his lap as he watched a movie with him; Yixing had a performance and wouldn’t be home for a few hours anyway. Not that he cared. Baekhyun was much more than what he wanted and he had promised to leave Yixing for him after Christmas. It was promise that he intended to keep and he knew that it would only make Baekhyun happy to not have to sneak around with their love.
“I love you, Yifan.”
He smirked as he placed a kiss on lips that were all too happy to kiss back.
“I love you too, Baekhyun.”
Maybe Yixing hadn’t been able to stop loving but Yifan had. Everything was routine with Yixing, and frankly he had gotten bored. The only real reason that he had even stayed with Yixing this long was because he needed to look for a place to stay, a place to call home with Baekhyun. He needed the time and he wouldn’t get it if Yixing threw him out of the house.
“So when ar-”
“After Christmas.”
The smile that formed on Baekhyun’s lips was all that Yifan needed to forget the small ache of his heart. He wondered why it was there.
Months passed by and Yifan continued to meet with Baekhyun, neither of the two aware that Yixing knew about their affair.
It’s now a three days before Christmas, Yifan is getting impatient and Yixing is rather restless.
Day 0
“We’re going to be late, Yifan.”
He didn’t really care if they were late or not anymore. Yixing’s mother had never really liked him that much anyway so he didn’t see why had to go. Yifan was in the middle of buttoning up his shirt when Yixing walked in, coat in hand. Sure, they tolerated each other but it wasn’t like before. Yifan was now sure that not only was he staying with Yixing for another few days because he needed a home but because he liked the constant. Yixing was predictable now.
“My parents will be happy to see us. Remember when….”
He drowned out Yixing’s voice, a trip down memory lane wasn’t what he needed nor wanted right now. He knew where he wanted to be, where he was needed but was kept from. Baekhyun had called him that morning and asked to spend the day; he had to reject the offer and sorely wished that he could have spent the day with him. Yifan nodded when it was appropriate but made no other motions to show that he was interested in what Yixing was saying.
“Let’s go already. The sooner we leave the faster we can come back.”
He walked past Yixing, not really caring if he had hurt the other. They’d be done in a few days anyway so what did it really matter. He hadn’t cared when Kai was around and now it was his turn not to care. Selfish as it was, he was happier this way.
The cab ride was silent, neither saying a word to the other. Dinner at Yixing’s parents house wasn’t much better either. His only form of comfort was the thought of Baekhyun waiting for him in his apartment, the apartment that he visited whenever he told Yixing he was going out with friends. The apartment that would soon be his home as well, he just had to hold on for a little longer. Another hour or two wouldn’t be that bad would it?
For the sake of his parents, Yixing had taken Yifan’s hand in his. There was no way to protest and Yifan knew that if he simply complied with what it was that Yixing wanted that it would speed up the time he had left to endure. Sure, enough they were on their way home not thirty minutes later. The lights of the city seemed to welcome him home, he knew a few of those lights belonged to his new home and that was perhaps why he was elated to be back.
The apartment that Yifan had shared with Yixing for the past four years had stopped feeling like home after the third year, the year that Yixing had cheated. That year everything had changed for him, he had started to wonder why he hadn’t been enough and in time he had found Baekhyun. Ironically, he had Yixing to thank for his current happiness. He’d make sure to do that later, now it was time for him to entertain Yixing’s idea that they were still happy before he slipped away and spent the night at Baekhyun’s.
“You could have at least happy to have been there.”
Yixing’s voice brought him out of his thoughts. A frown danced its way onto Yifan’s lips.
“Why would I. Your mother hates me and lets not pretend that your father is happy to see me simply because I’m me. They’d be happier if you just went by yourself.”
An empty chuckle. He looked over towards Yixing, he had never heard that sort of noise come from him.
“What’re you gonna do now? Leave? Like you always do. I’m not stupid you know….”
There was pain in his voice. It didn’t bother him as much as it should have.
“If you’re going to make it that easy then yeah. I’ll go now.”
He moved to go into the room they no longer shared but stopped when Yixing stepped in front of him.
“You don’t even want to try to work it out? At least I stopped and told you I messed up.”
He wasn’t in the mood, and really didn’t want to have this conversation. Yixing was normally quiet about this and it irritated him that it was now that he wanted to talk about it.
“Yixing, I’m leaving. You get the apartment, and what’s in it. We’re done.”
But as he had learned over the years, Yixing was stubborn when he wanted to be. Why was it now? Couldn’t he have let the relationship die out in a peaceful way like he had intended? Why did Yixing have to make it harder?
“These are the keys aren’t they?”
Yixing had moved over towards the jar where they placed their keys. A particular pair sat in the younger man’s hand, Yifan took a step forward. That was his first mistake, the way Yixing grasped the keys told him that he had gotten the answer he wanted. The second mistake was hesitating to move because Yixing took that moment to run out of the apartment and down the hall.
“Yixing! Get back here with my keys!”
Yifan was running after him, and he would have caught up with him had Yixing not caught the elevator. They lived on the third floor, he knew he wasn’t going to make it in time but he had to try. Yifan silently thanked the divine being that had decided to give him long legs, the trip down the stairs didn’t take as long since he was able to skip steps and not worry about falling.
“Yixing!”
He hesitated, and that was all Yifan needed. Yixing was across the lobby, halfway out of the door and his hesitation had given him time to get halfway there before he started running again. The streets were littered with people, yet he persisted as he caught sight of Yixing. The shouts of people who were pushed aside didn’t really register, he was catching up. It was at an intersection that he was sure that he had caught Yixing, the light was red for him to cross and knowing Yixing ,he wouldn’t dare cross.
“Yixing!”
This was his third mistake and final mistake.
He saw the panicked look that had probably been there since they had left the hotel. Yifan stopped running when he noticed Yixing looking over at the other side of the intersection, the light was still red. Yifan stopped running when he saw the movement, his eyes widened a little and then he was stuck in place. His eyes widened and though he heard people crying out to call an ambulance he couldn’t move his hands to do just that.
Yixing had taken a chance and ran into the intersection when it seemed like no cars were coming. He had made it over halfway when a car seemed to appear out of nowhere and struck him.
Yixing… Yixing…Yixing!
Yifan found himself standing in the ICU. He wasn’t allowed into the room but was able to see Yixing through the window. Monitors were hooked up to him and though it should have been a comfort the heart monitor only made him worry. Sure, he had wanted to leave him but not this way. They were supposed to have argued a bit, he would have said something along the lines of “you’ll find someone else” and then they’d both go on with their lives. He wasn’t supposed to be looking at a broken version of his soon to be ex.
“He had this in his hand. He seemed like he wanted to say sorry.”
His keys felt like weights in his hand. Why were they there? Why couldn’t he still be at their apartment waiting to leave? Why? He thought back to the conversation that had led to this moment, he wondered if he would have been saved from this if he had just agreed with Yixing. Would it have made a difference?
“Hemophilia.”
Yifan looked at the doctor once more.
“I’m sorry what?”
A somber expression had taken a hold of the doctor’s expression.
“Hemophilia, it’s a genetic blood disorder that targets the clotting ability of blood. He has a high degree of it meaning that he had very little to no blood clotting abilities. We’ve done what we can but he’s bleeding both internally and externally. Hemophilia also targets internal bleeding. I’m sorry to say this Mister Wu but… I think it’s best that you say good-bye.”
There was no sugar coating it, normally he liked it that way. Yet, this was different. Yifan watched as the doctor turned away from him and walked down the aisle before entering another room with a smile on his face. Yixing was just another patient after all; A patient that was in his last moments. Yifan looked through the window again, Yixing’s eyes were closed and there was no indication that he would open them.
His phone rang, the caller I.d. telling him that it was Baekhyun. He was probably wondering where he was, his fingers itched to answer the call but this wasn’t the time or the place. In the room across from him, Yifan heard the heart monitor flat line. A distraught shout was heard later and he felt his heart drop into his stomach as he turned around to see that it was a small child that had passed away. He assumed that it was a terminal disease along the lines of Leukemia that had taken the child away. The despair of the mother seemed to translate over to him as he turned back around and looked at Yixing. He was no longer sleeping; instead he had managed to turn his head over to look at him. His face held a plethora of scars, all of whom were lightly bleeding.
“Yixing. That’s his name now stop gawking at him. Poor kid doesn’t even know he has a stalker.”
Lu Han laughed as Yifan glared at him, Yixing had passed by them a while ago. He had also disappeared as quickly as he had appeared.Yixing was the name of the boy who had interrupted the class only to alert the professor about a fight going on three doors down, the professor of the classroom had caught Yixing and asked him to go get help.
“I’m not stalking him.”
The heart monitor started to beat irregularly and Yifan felt the need to throw up start to build up.
“My name is Zhang Yixing.”
He already knew the name of the younger. But Yixing didn’t know that.
“Yifan.”
Yifan blamed the smell of the hospital for the nauseous feeling that had crept up on him. Yixing was still looking at him and he found it hard to look away. Questions, that’s all that he found in the eyes of the boy he had loved fiercely. The main one seemed to be why? He couldn’t help but wonder why as well.
“You’ll grow tired of me and find someone else.”
Yifan shook his head as he pulled Yixing closer to him, A Christmas Carol playing in the background.
“Never. I’ll love you even when we’re eighty.”
The chuckle that came from Yixing made his heart beat faster. He would make good on his promise if he could.
They wouldn’t make it to eighty. Not even if they wanted to try, they wouldn’t be able to. Yifan’s heart rate seemed to pick up as the heart monitor showed a slowing heartbeat. No, it couldn’t end like that. It was just a joke… a cruel joke. He looked around for the doctor, for cameras, for something to come out and tell him it was a joke. But the truth hurt much more than he could have ever imagined, the fact was it wasn’t a joke. His breathing hitched as his phone rang again, Baekhyun.
Yixing looked away and Yifan caught sight of what looked like a tear running down the side of Yixing’s face. He picked up the phone not intending to answer the call but to end it. Just as he pressed the button he heard it. The flat line. Suddenly, the world seemed a lot colder.
December 25th, 2012. It takes two days for Yixing’s body to be cremated.
He’s now alone. Baekhyun was still waiting for him to move in but it was always postponed. He understood that a grieving period should be given but Yifan was free now and all Baekhyun seemed to want was him in his home. Yifan was lonely.
Carolers sang as they passed him by and though it was a nice day out he couldn’t find himself enjoying it as much as he would have. He recalled the hysterical shouting that Yixing’s mother had done when he had told her what happened, the tears that had made their way down his own face when no one was around. It took him more than a day to realize that he missed Yixing, not the constant but Yixing. His habits were missed as well but in general he just missed him, he missed knowing that Yixing was in the other room cooking or writing a song that he would later make him listen to. That was all gone now, he was free.
So why wasn’t he happy?
“Come on. Work.”
He was frustrated with himself and the fact that the only key to the apartment that he was still living in had essentially broken wasn’t going to make him any happier. Yifan stepped away from the door and glanced down at the separate set of keys, Baekhyun. He could always go to Baekhyun’s like he had intended to. It felt wrong to, it seemed much too soon, but it was what he planned on doing. Yifan turned around and made his way into an elevator, through the lobby and out into the streets.
He stopped walking when he caught sight of a locksmiths shop. It wouldn’t hurt to get a new key would it? Besides, he’d have to go back and get his stuff in the morning so why not safe a trip and get it done now? Yifan crossed the street when he was sure that there were no cars in sight, the crossing was fast and soon he found himself walking into the shop. There was next to no sign of life within the shop and he wondered if it was even a functional place. He stopped when he noticed something, or rather someone move.
“Seems like you’ve got yourself into a pickle, huh?”
Yifan simply held out the broken key and watched in silence as it was taken away from him and a duplicate of it was made.
“Hm seems like you’ve lost something you thought you didn’t need or got over. Hurts doesn’t it.”
He didn’t like this guy.
“Well, there you go. No charge since it’s Christmas. Oh, and remember that it’ll happen again, but maybe you can change the outcome. Ten days is all you get.”
Yifan slowly nodded before leaving the locksmith alone. He had decided that it was not a wise decision to get his keys done past ten o’clock at night. He crossed the intersection once more and made his way back to the hotel. It wasn’t until he was standing in front of the door leading into the empty room that he remembered his original plan.
“He can wait until the morning.”
Yifan inserted the key into the key hole and smiled as the door unlocked when he twisted the key. He walk closed the door behind him and made his way into the room he had once shared with Yixing. He was far too tired to take off his clothing; it wouldn’t hurt to just sleep with his clothes on for one night would it? He didn’t think so.
Yifan woke up to the smell of something cooking: bacon, eggs, and maybe pancakes? He frowned when he realized that the smell indicated that someone was in his home. He sat up in bed and stared down at himself as he realized that he wasn’t in the clothes he fell asleep in, no; he was in his pajamas. What he heard next made him freeze.
“Yifan, are you up yet?”
Yixing.
Pairings: Kris/Lay, Kai/Lay, Baekhyun/Kris
Genre: AU, angst, fluff,
Warning: Character death, un-beta-ed
Rating: Pg-13
Wordcount: 4,276
Summary: An early relationship blooms but as time progresses, they find themselves drifting apart. A Christmas of fate changing, will it be enough to save Yifan and Yixing's relationship?
I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX | X
(Disclaimer: I do not own Yixing or Kris or frankly anyone else mentioned in this. This is also, to some point, loosely based on the concept of the Christmas movie "Three Days."
A/N: This will be a chaptered fic. This is only the intro chapter.)
The first time Yifan sees Yixing, it’s in high school.
The class had settled down as the teacher began to explain the theories behind the space time continuum, when the door opened. Like everyone else in the room, Kris had turned to look over towards the door where a boy wearing the uniform for the students in their second year stood. He didn’t pay attention to what the boy said nor did he really care as to why the teacher seemed flustered. It was only when the teacher left in a hurry that he drew his attention away from the boy and instead on the raucous that had stirred up.
“Shame, huh?”
He turned to look over towards his seating partner. Lu Han. Yifan found himself slowly nodding in agreement though he really had no idea what it was that he was agreeing to. He looked over towards the door once more and only barely managed to catch the attention of the boy before he turned around and left with someone from his class. He only later found out that the boy’s name was Yixing. He felt odd inquiring about the boy especially since he had only seen him and not so much as exchanged a word.
Yifan caught himself seeing the boy more and more in school; it had gotten to the point where he wondered if Yixing had twins. It turned out that Yixing was just really involved in the school activities that pertained to the arts. Lu Han had begun to tease him alongside with Xiumin, a friend of theirs that happened to be in a different class. Jokes about him falling for Yixing were made frequently, he’d disapprove of them but still Lu Han and Xiumin persisted. How could he be falling for someone he hadn’t even talked to?
The first time Yifan talks to Yixing it’s during the winter festivities.
Yifan, much to his displeasure, had been recruited to help decorate the school in an attempt to get the students in a much more festive mood. Any thoughts that he had about Yixing had disappeared more than a month ago and he was now back to where he had been before he had seen him. His hand hovers over the green tinsel that needed to be hung along the doorways. Tao, a freshman that had been assigned to the same job, had taken a fondness to the right side of the hallway leaving the left for Yifan to do. It was odd but he wasn’t going to question the younger. A lock of brown hair fell out of place as he began securing the green tinsel to his old homeroom; he glanced over to see Yixing placing a banner along the wall next to him.
“Looks good doesn’t it?”
It took a moment for Yifan to realize that Yixing was talking to him. He nodded and got back to work.
“I’m Zhang Yixing.”
But he already knew that, Yixing didn’t. Nevertheless, Yifan secured the last of the tinsel to the door before looking over at Yixing.
“Yifan.”
It was easy enough to talk to the younger, and he found that the decorating went much faster as they continued to talk.
It takes less than a two months for Yifan to ask Yixing out.
“The first character of our names plays on the stars….”
Yifan glanced over towards Yixing as they continued to walk down the street, their fingers interlocked. They had just finished seeing the newest Pixar movie, Yixing had insisted that it was a must see and that any good movie enthusiast would know that Pixar was brilliant in their films. He had been right, but Yifan wasn’t about to tell him that. It had been about three weeks since they had first gone out on a date.
“Do you think it means something?”
Yifan takes a moment to ponder the thought and shrugs not long after. He’s never really given thought to their names. He always focused on Yixing, that was all that matter. Yixing. His smile faltered for a moment as they reached Yixing’s house. A moment of hesitance and Yifan found that he didn’t want to let go. They stood there for a moment; the good bye was always the hardest part.
“Yifan…”
Yixing was look up at him and Yifan found that he was leaning up towards him. His heart began to race as he leaned down and gently placed his lips on Yixing’s. It was their first kiss but it wouldn’t be their last.
Weeks turned into months and Yifan soon found himself living with Yixing.
“Have I ever told you I love you?”
Yifan chuckled a little as he looked over to his side where a sweaty yet gleeful Yixing lay. He pulled him closer not wanting any space between them. Skin against skin that was how he wanted it.
“I’ve think you’ve mentioned it a few times.”
A coy smirk playing upon his lips just before he took Yixing’s lips in his. Words of love were always exchanged between the two and it was never just during or after sex. They meant every word of it and had already made plans for the future. They were ready for it and as Yixing cuddled closer to him, Yifan couldn’t think of any other place he wanted to be. He was Yixing’s and Yixing in turn was his. This was the promise they had made to each other long ago.
Months turned to Years, the first and second being the best. Yixing was the first to break.
His heart was racing as he wrapped his legs around the hips of the person that was currently bringing him bliss. He was so close. It didn’t take long for him to reach his climax and though he was slightly embarrassed by the mess that they had made, he was more than glad to have even made it. He placed kisses on lips that had once been foreign to him. He cuddled closer to a person that he had only met a few months ago.
“I love you, Yixing.”
His heart stopped for a moment.
“Me too.”
It was never said back, because he wouldn’t mean it. He glanced down at the chest of the person he was currently spending time with. The contrast in skin tones interested him and maybe this was why he had taken him on as his lover. Kim Jongin, or Kai as he liked to be called, had only just started out in the dance company Yixing worked for. He had played Rothbart in Swan Lake while Yixing had taken on the role of Prince Sigfried. Needless to say, the hours they had spent together had accumulated to the point where the company dancers knew what they were doing behind closed doors. They made sure to keep Yifan unaware of it as best as they could, if keeping this a secret was what kept their two male principal dancers happy then they were more than happy to assist. None of them knew that Yifan was already aware of Yixing’s adventure.
“You’re perfect.”
Yixing smiled and placed a kiss on Kai’s lips. It was much different than the kisses Yifan gave him.
“You’re not so bad yourself.”
He watched as Kai, chuckled and found that he really did like the way the mixed but it wasn’t what he wanted. The sex was nice and he had to admit that their dancing together had improved since the affair had started but there was something missing. It was probably the reason why he never really told Kai that he loved him. He still only told Yifan those words.
Yixing called off the affair and admitted to it a few months later. He begged Yifan for forgiveness.
The fourth year proved harder, around May Yifan was the one who strayed.
He was holding someone different, someone who he had learned to love and was willing to leave almost everything for. Byun Baekhyun sat on his lap as he watched a movie with him; Yixing had a performance and wouldn’t be home for a few hours anyway. Not that he cared. Baekhyun was much more than what he wanted and he had promised to leave Yixing for him after Christmas. It was promise that he intended to keep and he knew that it would only make Baekhyun happy to not have to sneak around with their love.
“I love you, Yifan.”
He smirked as he placed a kiss on lips that were all too happy to kiss back.
“I love you too, Baekhyun.”
Maybe Yixing hadn’t been able to stop loving but Yifan had. Everything was routine with Yixing, and frankly he had gotten bored. The only real reason that he had even stayed with Yixing this long was because he needed to look for a place to stay, a place to call home with Baekhyun. He needed the time and he wouldn’t get it if Yixing threw him out of the house.
“So when ar-”
“After Christmas.”
The smile that formed on Baekhyun’s lips was all that Yifan needed to forget the small ache of his heart. He wondered why it was there.
Months passed by and Yifan continued to meet with Baekhyun, neither of the two aware that Yixing knew about their affair.
It’s now a three days before Christmas, Yifan is getting impatient and Yixing is rather restless.
Day 0
“We’re going to be late, Yifan.”
He didn’t really care if they were late or not anymore. Yixing’s mother had never really liked him that much anyway so he didn’t see why had to go. Yifan was in the middle of buttoning up his shirt when Yixing walked in, coat in hand. Sure, they tolerated each other but it wasn’t like before. Yifan was now sure that not only was he staying with Yixing for another few days because he needed a home but because he liked the constant. Yixing was predictable now.
“My parents will be happy to see us. Remember when….”
He drowned out Yixing’s voice, a trip down memory lane wasn’t what he needed nor wanted right now. He knew where he wanted to be, where he was needed but was kept from. Baekhyun had called him that morning and asked to spend the day; he had to reject the offer and sorely wished that he could have spent the day with him. Yifan nodded when it was appropriate but made no other motions to show that he was interested in what Yixing was saying.
“Let’s go already. The sooner we leave the faster we can come back.”
He walked past Yixing, not really caring if he had hurt the other. They’d be done in a few days anyway so what did it really matter. He hadn’t cared when Kai was around and now it was his turn not to care. Selfish as it was, he was happier this way.
The cab ride was silent, neither saying a word to the other. Dinner at Yixing’s parents house wasn’t much better either. His only form of comfort was the thought of Baekhyun waiting for him in his apartment, the apartment that he visited whenever he told Yixing he was going out with friends. The apartment that would soon be his home as well, he just had to hold on for a little longer. Another hour or two wouldn’t be that bad would it?
For the sake of his parents, Yixing had taken Yifan’s hand in his. There was no way to protest and Yifan knew that if he simply complied with what it was that Yixing wanted that it would speed up the time he had left to endure. Sure, enough they were on their way home not thirty minutes later. The lights of the city seemed to welcome him home, he knew a few of those lights belonged to his new home and that was perhaps why he was elated to be back.
The apartment that Yifan had shared with Yixing for the past four years had stopped feeling like home after the third year, the year that Yixing had cheated. That year everything had changed for him, he had started to wonder why he hadn’t been enough and in time he had found Baekhyun. Ironically, he had Yixing to thank for his current happiness. He’d make sure to do that later, now it was time for him to entertain Yixing’s idea that they were still happy before he slipped away and spent the night at Baekhyun’s.
“You could have at least happy to have been there.”
Yixing’s voice brought him out of his thoughts. A frown danced its way onto Yifan’s lips.
“Why would I. Your mother hates me and lets not pretend that your father is happy to see me simply because I’m me. They’d be happier if you just went by yourself.”
An empty chuckle. He looked over towards Yixing, he had never heard that sort of noise come from him.
“What’re you gonna do now? Leave? Like you always do. I’m not stupid you know….”
There was pain in his voice. It didn’t bother him as much as it should have.
“If you’re going to make it that easy then yeah. I’ll go now.”
He moved to go into the room they no longer shared but stopped when Yixing stepped in front of him.
“You don’t even want to try to work it out? At least I stopped and told you I messed up.”
He wasn’t in the mood, and really didn’t want to have this conversation. Yixing was normally quiet about this and it irritated him that it was now that he wanted to talk about it.
“Yixing, I’m leaving. You get the apartment, and what’s in it. We’re done.”
But as he had learned over the years, Yixing was stubborn when he wanted to be. Why was it now? Couldn’t he have let the relationship die out in a peaceful way like he had intended? Why did Yixing have to make it harder?
“These are the keys aren’t they?”
Yixing had moved over towards the jar where they placed their keys. A particular pair sat in the younger man’s hand, Yifan took a step forward. That was his first mistake, the way Yixing grasped the keys told him that he had gotten the answer he wanted. The second mistake was hesitating to move because Yixing took that moment to run out of the apartment and down the hall.
“Yixing! Get back here with my keys!”
Yifan was running after him, and he would have caught up with him had Yixing not caught the elevator. They lived on the third floor, he knew he wasn’t going to make it in time but he had to try. Yifan silently thanked the divine being that had decided to give him long legs, the trip down the stairs didn’t take as long since he was able to skip steps and not worry about falling.
“Yixing!”
He hesitated, and that was all Yifan needed. Yixing was across the lobby, halfway out of the door and his hesitation had given him time to get halfway there before he started running again. The streets were littered with people, yet he persisted as he caught sight of Yixing. The shouts of people who were pushed aside didn’t really register, he was catching up. It was at an intersection that he was sure that he had caught Yixing, the light was red for him to cross and knowing Yixing ,he wouldn’t dare cross.
“Yixing!”
This was his third mistake and final mistake.
He saw the panicked look that had probably been there since they had left the hotel. Yifan stopped running when he noticed Yixing looking over at the other side of the intersection, the light was still red. Yifan stopped running when he saw the movement, his eyes widened a little and then he was stuck in place. His eyes widened and though he heard people crying out to call an ambulance he couldn’t move his hands to do just that.
Yixing had taken a chance and ran into the intersection when it seemed like no cars were coming. He had made it over halfway when a car seemed to appear out of nowhere and struck him.
Yixing… Yixing…Yixing!
Yifan found himself standing in the ICU. He wasn’t allowed into the room but was able to see Yixing through the window. Monitors were hooked up to him and though it should have been a comfort the heart monitor only made him worry. Sure, he had wanted to leave him but not this way. They were supposed to have argued a bit, he would have said something along the lines of “you’ll find someone else” and then they’d both go on with their lives. He wasn’t supposed to be looking at a broken version of his soon to be ex.
“He had this in his hand. He seemed like he wanted to say sorry.”
His keys felt like weights in his hand. Why were they there? Why couldn’t he still be at their apartment waiting to leave? Why? He thought back to the conversation that had led to this moment, he wondered if he would have been saved from this if he had just agreed with Yixing. Would it have made a difference?
“Hemophilia.”
Yifan looked at the doctor once more.
“I’m sorry what?”
A somber expression had taken a hold of the doctor’s expression.
“Hemophilia, it’s a genetic blood disorder that targets the clotting ability of blood. He has a high degree of it meaning that he had very little to no blood clotting abilities. We’ve done what we can but he’s bleeding both internally and externally. Hemophilia also targets internal bleeding. I’m sorry to say this Mister Wu but… I think it’s best that you say good-bye.”
There was no sugar coating it, normally he liked it that way. Yet, this was different. Yifan watched as the doctor turned away from him and walked down the aisle before entering another room with a smile on his face. Yixing was just another patient after all; A patient that was in his last moments. Yifan looked through the window again, Yixing’s eyes were closed and there was no indication that he would open them.
His phone rang, the caller I.d. telling him that it was Baekhyun. He was probably wondering where he was, his fingers itched to answer the call but this wasn’t the time or the place. In the room across from him, Yifan heard the heart monitor flat line. A distraught shout was heard later and he felt his heart drop into his stomach as he turned around to see that it was a small child that had passed away. He assumed that it was a terminal disease along the lines of Leukemia that had taken the child away. The despair of the mother seemed to translate over to him as he turned back around and looked at Yixing. He was no longer sleeping; instead he had managed to turn his head over to look at him. His face held a plethora of scars, all of whom were lightly bleeding.
“Yixing. That’s his name now stop gawking at him. Poor kid doesn’t even know he has a stalker.”
Lu Han laughed as Yifan glared at him, Yixing had passed by them a while ago. He had also disappeared as quickly as he had appeared.Yixing was the name of the boy who had interrupted the class only to alert the professor about a fight going on three doors down, the professor of the classroom had caught Yixing and asked him to go get help.
“I’m not stalking him.”
The heart monitor started to beat irregularly and Yifan felt the need to throw up start to build up.
“My name is Zhang Yixing.”
He already knew the name of the younger. But Yixing didn’t know that.
“Yifan.”
Yifan blamed the smell of the hospital for the nauseous feeling that had crept up on him. Yixing was still looking at him and he found it hard to look away. Questions, that’s all that he found in the eyes of the boy he had loved fiercely. The main one seemed to be why? He couldn’t help but wonder why as well.
“You’ll grow tired of me and find someone else.”
Yifan shook his head as he pulled Yixing closer to him, A Christmas Carol playing in the background.
“Never. I’ll love you even when we’re eighty.”
The chuckle that came from Yixing made his heart beat faster. He would make good on his promise if he could.
They wouldn’t make it to eighty. Not even if they wanted to try, they wouldn’t be able to. Yifan’s heart rate seemed to pick up as the heart monitor showed a slowing heartbeat. No, it couldn’t end like that. It was just a joke… a cruel joke. He looked around for the doctor, for cameras, for something to come out and tell him it was a joke. But the truth hurt much more than he could have ever imagined, the fact was it wasn’t a joke. His breathing hitched as his phone rang again, Baekhyun.
Yixing looked away and Yifan caught sight of what looked like a tear running down the side of Yixing’s face. He picked up the phone not intending to answer the call but to end it. Just as he pressed the button he heard it. The flat line. Suddenly, the world seemed a lot colder.
December 25th, 2012. It takes two days for Yixing’s body to be cremated.
He’s now alone. Baekhyun was still waiting for him to move in but it was always postponed. He understood that a grieving period should be given but Yifan was free now and all Baekhyun seemed to want was him in his home. Yifan was lonely.
Carolers sang as they passed him by and though it was a nice day out he couldn’t find himself enjoying it as much as he would have. He recalled the hysterical shouting that Yixing’s mother had done when he had told her what happened, the tears that had made their way down his own face when no one was around. It took him more than a day to realize that he missed Yixing, not the constant but Yixing. His habits were missed as well but in general he just missed him, he missed knowing that Yixing was in the other room cooking or writing a song that he would later make him listen to. That was all gone now, he was free.
So why wasn’t he happy?
“Come on. Work.”
He was frustrated with himself and the fact that the only key to the apartment that he was still living in had essentially broken wasn’t going to make him any happier. Yifan stepped away from the door and glanced down at the separate set of keys, Baekhyun. He could always go to Baekhyun’s like he had intended to. It felt wrong to, it seemed much too soon, but it was what he planned on doing. Yifan turned around and made his way into an elevator, through the lobby and out into the streets.
He stopped walking when he caught sight of a locksmiths shop. It wouldn’t hurt to get a new key would it? Besides, he’d have to go back and get his stuff in the morning so why not safe a trip and get it done now? Yifan crossed the street when he was sure that there were no cars in sight, the crossing was fast and soon he found himself walking into the shop. There was next to no sign of life within the shop and he wondered if it was even a functional place. He stopped when he noticed something, or rather someone move.
“Seems like you’ve got yourself into a pickle, huh?”
Yifan simply held out the broken key and watched in silence as it was taken away from him and a duplicate of it was made.
“Hm seems like you’ve lost something you thought you didn’t need or got over. Hurts doesn’t it.”
He didn’t like this guy.
“Well, there you go. No charge since it’s Christmas. Oh, and remember that it’ll happen again, but maybe you can change the outcome. Ten days is all you get.”
Yifan slowly nodded before leaving the locksmith alone. He had decided that it was not a wise decision to get his keys done past ten o’clock at night. He crossed the intersection once more and made his way back to the hotel. It wasn’t until he was standing in front of the door leading into the empty room that he remembered his original plan.
“He can wait until the morning.”
Yifan inserted the key into the key hole and smiled as the door unlocked when he twisted the key. He walk closed the door behind him and made his way into the room he had once shared with Yixing. He was far too tired to take off his clothing; it wouldn’t hurt to just sleep with his clothes on for one night would it? He didn’t think so.
Yifan woke up to the smell of something cooking: bacon, eggs, and maybe pancakes? He frowned when he realized that the smell indicated that someone was in his home. He sat up in bed and stared down at himself as he realized that he wasn’t in the clothes he fell asleep in, no; he was in his pajamas. What he heard next made him freeze.
“Yifan, are you up yet?”
Yixing.