Title: Reset [8/11]
Pairings: Kris/Lay
Genre: AU, angst, fluff
Warning: un-beta-ed
Rating: Pg-13
Wordcount: 3,894
Summary:
An early relationship blooms but as time progresses, they find
themselves drifting apart. A Christmas of fate changing, will it be
enough to save Yifan and Yixing's relationship?
Proloug |
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VIII |
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X (Disclaimer: I do not own Yixing or Kris or frankly anyone else mentioned in this.
This is also, to some point, loosely based on the concept of the Christmas movie
"Three Days.")
December 21, 2012
Day 7
Everyone has a clock, a clock indicating how much time they have left to live. However, no one is aware of its existence or capable of seeing it. A blessing to say the least is bestowed this way, because once you learn how long someone has to live, when they lose and hour, a day, maybe a year, you start to obsess over it. You become completely focused on the countdown that you miss everything in between and when the years have reached zero you count the months. When the months have reached zero you count the weeks, when the weeks are gone all that’s left are days. Hours follow after that and really how stable would you be once there are only five minutes left on the clock of the person you love most. When it’s five seconds instead of five minutes? When all you read is zeros across the board?
It’s blessing that he had been robbed of. Yifan knew what Yixing’s clock probably looked like, the years had probably reached zero last New Year’s, the months had probably reached zero at the start of December, the weeks would have only just reached zero and all that was left was three days. It was cruel to have given him the knowledge of Yixing’s death. It had been a heartless move. How many hours did Yixing have left? What if something happened at practice that took an hour or three away? Had he lost minutes because of something plainly idiotic but very influential while he was on his way to the company building?
“NEXT!”
The cashier motioned for him to make his way over towards her. The store was far too crowded and any delays at the checkout would bother more than one person, so it was vital that everything ran smoothly. Yifan figured that he been more than a few seconds late in reacting to the call, which had earned him the yell. He nodded a hello to the woman, a woman who looked like she would have rather been at home relaxing with her family before preparing for Christmas. Or maybe she celebrated Hanukkah, or Kwanza, he didn’t know and didn’t really care seeing as he probably would only ever see her in the store. He didn’t even know her name, and why should he?
“ $11.53”
Yifan handed over the right amount of money before grabbing the bag off of the counter and waiting for the receipt. Yixing liked to keep a count of what they had bought as a form of budget keeping, though they had always splurged when it came to this season. Yifan found himself wondering if Yixing had splurged without him in the past year?
“Stop thinking about it.”
And he froze. That voice was all too familiar, a voice he disliked hearing and loathed knowing that he didn’t even have to look over to his side to know who it was. Chanyeol. With the knowledge that no one else but him could see Chanyeol, Yifan decided to keep moving and find a spot where there weren’t too many people. If he was going to talk to Chanyeol the least he could do was wait until he found somewhere safe to talk. At the moment, that meant his apartment and as much as he hated the idea of taking Chanyeol there, it really was the only place that he felt secure enough to talk to him in.
“Oh, I see. Okay, you don’t want to look like you’re crazy. Fair enough but I expect a mug of hot chocolate when we get there. Marshmallows with it would be appreciated.”
He said nothing in protest. Instead, he merely nodded and continued to weave his way through the thickening crowds. It was a times like this that he wished that they lived in a more rural area, it wouldn’t be that bad to have a few acres of space between their home and the next house over, plus the Christmas crowds probably wouldn’t be as heavy as they were in the city. But it was all a dream, and really both his job and Yixing’s job demanded that they live in an urban area. It was okay… he supposed.
The key that Chanyeol had first given him was still the key that he used, and now that he thought about it could the key be what was keeping him in the past? Or had it only worked once? The bags were placed down on the kitchen counter and Yifan emptied the coffee pot before washing it, drying it, and filling it up with the right amount of water he needed. The used filter was thrown away and soon after the new water was poured in and the coffee pot sat in its home once more.
“Oh, I see. So you don’t have to use a pot, you use the coffee machine to heat up the water and then you know exactly how many you’re making for. Clever, very clever.”
It had been Yixing’s idea. Actually, it had been an accidental idea. Neither of them had been able to find a pot that day and so they had used the coffee machine. Needless to say, they had grown fond of the alternative use.
“What do you want, Chanyeol?”
Yifan didn’t turn to look at him as he opened one of the cupboards and took out a bag of marshmallows. He checked the expiration date before deciding if they were okay to use or not, thankfully they were. He only looked over at Chanyeol when he didn’t receive an answer.
“Look, I did what you wanted me too and I opened up. Yixing and I are on better terms and we’re giving it another try. I’m fine so I don’t see why you’re here.”
“I never said that I was here because I wanted to make sure that you’re fine. Can’t a friend visit another friend?”
“We’re not friends.”
He watched as Chanyeol feigned hurt. He fought back the urge to smile.
“Your words, they wound me, Yifan.”
The water had stopped flowing and it was safe enough now for Yifan to pour the water into a white mug that only contained the powder that would turn into hot chocolate. The small marshmallows were added in after he finished mixing the drink.
“Here, wait a minute or you’ll burn your tongue.”
“I know. I’m not a little kid; I know that the word hot in front of anything requires that you wait at least thirty seconds before you try to drink it.”
This time, he was unable to keep the small smile from making its way onto his lips. He supposed that Chanyeol could be good company when he wasn’t nagging at him over how he was feeling. He didn’t need a therapist.
“I really am here for a different reason though. Ah! Hot.”
The mug was placed back down on the counter as Chanyeol held a hand over his mouth, a small look of pain on his face which could only lead Yifan to the conclusion that he had burned his tongue.
“So what are you here for?”
“I’m here to tell you to stop worry about how much time Yixing has left. You’ll miss out on the time that you do have left if you keep that up.”
Chanyeol’s hand stayed over his mouth as he continued to talk.
“There’s nothing you can do for him. Fate/ Destiny whatever you want to call her, though I assure you she likes the name Fate better, has written everything down. You can’t change it any more than it already has been.”
Yifan’s eyebrows furrowed as he took in Chanyeol’s statement. Fate had been changed, how? He watched silently as Chanyeol picked up the mug and blew on the liquid inside before taking a hesitant drink from it. The smile and nod of approval that came after did nothing for him.
“How has fate been changed? Isn’t that supposed to be set in stone or something?”
“Normally, yeah it is. But like I said, you’ve been given a rare gift. Not only were you given more time to spend with Yixing, to fix things with him, but his life was elongated by two days. In the original time line, Yixing died on December twenty-third at twelve ten in the morning. He was hit by the car on December twenty-second at eleven forty; it took ten minutes to get him to the hospital because of traffic and the general danger that comes with snow. The doctors tried everything they could for fifteen minutes, and he died five minutes later. Remember?”
Yifan could only nod in response as the images came back to him. The car hitting Yixing, the ambulance arriving not long after the call for it had been made, the ride in the ambulance, the talk with the doctor, and finally the flat line. It was all something that he would have to go through again, something he had been thing far too much on.
“Well today’s the twent-first so technically this should be Yixing’s last full day alive, he should get hit tomorrow, and should die in the early morning of the next day. However, seeing as we gave you ten days, it’s all moved over a day. He’s getting hit by the car on the twenty-fourth and dying in the early morning of Christmas day. So his original day of death will now be his last full day alive. See, you get another day with him.”
An extra day? That was it. He had assumed that he would get Christmas Eve and Christmas with Yixing as well. So that really only made it two days that he had to spend with Yixing.
“Everything will happen the way it happened before too. The times, the cause of death, though how he gets to the intersection probably changed. I wonder what you do, or maybe you don’t do anything wrong and something else puts him there. Either way at exactly eleven- forty he’s getting hit. The marshmallows melted, can I have more?”
Yifan scooped a few marshmallows out of the bag and into the still warm mug. A thank you was muttered but he didn’t really hear it. He wondered if knowing any of this was supposed to help him feel any better because it was doing the exact opposite.
“So you can’t really do anything to save him. Just make his last few days special okay? Maybe get him a present and… if you can, show him that you still love him. We both know that you do, maybe you’re just repressing it but it’s there. Time isn’t going to reset itself every time he dies. This is a onetime deal, Yifan. I’d like to think of you as a friend and as such I will give you one piece of advice: Stop focusing on time and focus on him. He’s going to be gone in a few days. Love him like there’s no tomorrow. Give yourself to him and he will do the same for you.”
He was frozen in place. He knew there was a reason he didn’t like Chanyeol.
“I’m late. I don’t like to keep people waiting, thanks for the hot chocolate. Although, I did burn my tongue. Yifan, don’t forget the gift.”
And just like that, Chanyeol was gone. His words were heavy and held nothing but the promise of pain. However, bliss seemed to be secured somewhere in there, he just hadn’t found it yet. A gift? What kind of gift? He had never been good at giving gifts, but then Yixing had always said that it was the thought that counted more than the actual tangible item. But still.
10:45 p.m.
It was cold, but then again it was snowing. Yixing liked the snow. The lights inside the company building were slowly turning off and the dancers were leaving in groups of two, sometimes three. He had a companion.
“It’s cold today, huh?”
“Yeah, it is but it’s the end of December so it’s supposed to be cold.”
A laugh.
“True, but Jongin hates the cold. Something about not liking the feel that it gives him.”
This time it was Yifan who laughed.
D.O. Kyungsoo had joined him in waiting outside for their dancers. A few of the dancers that knew them waved good-bye as they passed by but none of them stayed or told them where their lovers were. For a moment, Yifan was thruted back to more than a year ago. A time where the Yixing’s co-workers would tell him the wrong time, lead him around in circles while Kai and Yixing did as they pleased.
“Jongin said they’d be a little late because the opening night is so close. Victoria and Jia haven’t come out either and you know they’re playing the next important roles.”
Yes, they weren’t alone. Somehow, this made him feel a lot better. The last light in the company building turned off and it was a minute before five people walked out of the building, all of them laughing and nodding at something one of them said. The group split into a trio and duo not long after.
“Hyung! I told you not to come tonight. You’re going to get sick and then I’m going to have to take care of you. It’s the other way around, hyung. You take care of me.”
Yifan watched as Kyungsoo frowned as Jongin reached them. They seemed truly happy and Yifan found himself wishing them the best because they were a mirror image of what he had been like with Yixing at their age.
“Good-night, hyungs.”
He watched as they walked away completely in their own world before turning over towards a confused looking Yixing.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m picking you up. It’s late; you don’t think I’m going to let you walk home alone at this hour do you?”
Silence followed and he didn’t know if it was good or bad. Yixing seemed slightly shocked that he had come to pick him up, but to be fair he would have been just as shocked were he in Yixing’s shoes. It had been more than a year since he had even visited the company.
“Come on, it’s cold and you’re going to get a cold.”
He left no room for argument or frankly any room for Yixing to simply comment. He had Yixing’s hand in his, he made sure to keep him close as they weaved in and out of the large crowds. As strange as it was, seeing as what his profession was, Yixing was scared of large crowds. Yet, he had to deal with them and often times, back when everything was fine before any of the cheating and arguing, Yifan had been there at his side to help keep him calm.
“Have you had anything to eat?”
“Yes. I had a small sandwich that Key brought in. It was really good… I kind of wish I had more.”
Yifan wrapped an arm around Yixing’s shoulder as the crowd thickened. The chances of losing him in the crowd were far too great and he didn’t like the idea of losing him. Not when he only had less than thirty-six hours with him. Every moment was precious now, time couldn’t be wasted because he wouldn’t get it back.
“Come on; let’s go get something to eat.”
“But I already ate.”
“Yeah, but I haven’t.”
It was a lie but he wasn’t going to get Yixing to cooperate if he didn’t lie. Besides, eating twice had never hurt someone and if it had Yifan wasn’t aware of it. The crowds only got heavier as they number of restaurants increased, the idea of eating at home became more and more pleasant but eating at home would give Yixing a way out of eating at all. A simple sandwich wasn’t a meal and with how hard Yixing worked on his dancing, he had probably burned through the sandwich. That had always been a problem with Yixing, eating. It was either he ate but it wasn’t enough or he skipped meals for months at a time and only gave in when Yifan hounded him to eat something.
Yifan didn’t like it when Yixing did either.
“Right here.”
Yifan didn’t wait to for Yixing to properly place where they were. It was a special place for both of them, even if it was a common place for others. It was after all just another pizzeria.
“Isn’t this whe-”
“Yes, it is.”
“I thought they closed this place down a year ago. It wasn’t doing all that well in business you know, and I think for a time people did think it was going to close down. I’m glad it’s still here.”
They found a table near the back; it was crowded but not too crowded. The area that they had chosen lent itself to a bit of privacy, all in all it was a rather good place to go and eat.
“I’ll go place our order.”
Yixing reached out a hand towards him as he got up and began to walk towards the counter.
“Yifan remember that I li-”
“You like Hawaiian pizza because the pineapple pieces look in in contrast to the pale color of the cheese and pineapple is you favorite fruit. I remember, Yixing.”
He looked away and just missed seeing the small blush that crept its way onto Yixing’s cheecks. A small smile had also adorned the features of the young dancer. Perhaps there was hope for them, he certainly saw the possibilities.
12:35 p.m.
“Why did you accept it, Yifan? You know I dislike it and you’ve never bothered to try the drink. It’s just going to take up space until it goes bad and then we’ll both feel bad about wasting food.”
Yet, Yixing proceeded to place the carton of the offending liquid into the refrigerator. Yifan could have laughed at the situation had he not known that Yixing was right. He had never tried the drink, the urge to even taste a little left him when Yixing tried it in his senior year of high school. The reaction it had gotten out of him had been enough to label the drink as dangerous in Yifan’s book of foods to eat and to not eat. Well, drink in this case.
“Is it really that bad?”
“You try it. I mean, personally I don’t like it but maybe you will.”
There was truth in what Yixing said. It was still a fifty-fifty chance with him and who knows maybe he would end up liking the drink. So why not?
“Alright. I’ll try it.”
And so the carton was brought out of its cool home and exposed to Yifan. The smiling photo of a Santa scared him a little but past that he was willing to give it a good. After all, millions of people liked the taste of it. It had to have some appeal to it.
“Here’s your poison.”
“Thanks.”
A small glass with the milky white substance was placed in front of him and Yifan slowly raised the glass up to his lips. His lips parted just enough to let the smallest amount of liquid pass through and as he closed his eyes, he waited for the dislike to come to him. It wasn’t strong but it was there. The nutmeg taste of it was what bothered him more than anything else.
“Well?”
“It’s okay.”
And just like that Eggnog went from Yifan’s list of drinks to never try to drinks that could be given a chance. He wouldn’t drink it though, not if he could help it. Sure, he hadn’t exactly gotten a strong reaction like Yixing had but it was still there.
“Next time, I’ll say no.”
Yixing could only laugh.
It was strange hearing Yixing laugh at something that he had said but Yifan found that he liked it all the same. It wasn’t long before he found himself laughing along with Yixing, two different voices coming together. It made a wonderful sound that he had unknowingly missed.
“I’m going to bed now. I have rehearsal early in the morning but you know how Eunhyuk is. He’ll make us work late into the night but as soon as it’s two days in he’ll start early and let us leave early. Him and Hyoyeon, strange team but hey, they’ve gotten us this far.”
A minute passed and in that minute a series of revelations came to Yifan. He found that eggnog had an after taste that was not favorable in the least and perhaps he would never drink it again, the clock was ticking oddly and he wondered if it had been like that for a while, he hadn’t thought about the gift he was going to give Yixing; and more importantly he found that he didn’t want Yixing to go. Maybe it was the knowledge that he was going to lose Yixing in two more days, or perhaps it was the feelings that he had allowed to grow taking over, whatever it was the words that left him had held a desperation that he hadn’t known he had.
“What? Yifan, did you just ask me…”
What exactly had he asked?
“Just tonight.”
The look of uncertainty that crossed Yixing’s face made him wonder if the offer, well it was more of a plea than an offer, would be rejected. It was almost like he was in high school again, asking Yixing out on the first date after Yixing pleaded him to give them a chance. Rejection back then hadn’t seemed possible but now it was all too real a possibility.
“Please?”
He looked down at Yixing and waited. Seconds turned into what seemed like hours and the one minute that it did take for Yixing to reply turned into what felt like a day. In short, it was an excruciating minute wait.
“Alright.”
It wasn’t ten minutes later that Yifan found himself in bed. However, there was a change. The room wasn’t empty anymore, or at least it didn’t feel that way anymore since it had always been filled with the furniture that he had chosen with Yixing. No, the feel of the room had been what made it feel cold and empty. But now it was rather… warm? Yes, it was warm.
“Good-night, Yifan.”
The difference, what made the room much warmer than it had been in months, was Zhang Yixing. For the first time since he had confessed to the affair, Yixing was sleeping in his bed.
“Good-night, Yixing.”
He’d figure out what it was that he was supposed to give Yixing tomorrow. He’d make sure that tomorrow would be better than today and his final day would be better than of the other days. Yifan promised to make sure that he made Yixing’s last few days the best he would have, because when you love someone you’d do anything to make them happy, even if that meant that he’d suffer more heart ache than he already would have. If it meant that he’d see Yixing smile more, than it was worth it.
He wouldn’t admit it, but maybe, just maybe, he’d come to terms with the fact that he still loved Zhang Yixing.