markys dead and all the stuff ive written here up until this point is shit. It doesnt mean anything. I was wallowing in self pity and drama. Now this is happened I no the true meaning of pain and suffering and loss and hurt and regret and shame and love and hopelessness.the pain i am going through now puts alll of this to shame. I am ashamed. marky ( Read more... )

hey

so am comin back to london tomoz...canne wait, av no money wats so ever, cant even eat boo hoo. been gettin very drunnk and seein alot of music, mainly dnb of course and a bit of dub last nite which was good. loads has happened...with boys, life and work. but its all to much to write right now. just to say im ok xx

Hey

all men suck
nearly cut last night
want to starve
unhappy
miss my friends from back home
too much ketamine this weekend, spent 36 hours drinking and doin ket - was well fun but now really regrettin it
im a slut too
hope ur proud mum

so the guy I was talking about before - he is not my boyfriend any longer in fact im not sure what I was ever thinking ( Read more... )

i have a problem with my boyfriend.....he's happy and im not. hes always happy and im not. i thought i was mosr ofthe time but he puts my happiness to shame. hes so sparkly, jumpy ( to fucking jumpy if u ask me ) and full, i mean full to the f ing brim of energy. at the moment im not. I ve been really down for the last few weeks, mostly all self ( Read more... )

FEEL SO SHIT ARRRGGHHHHHHH

I CAN ONLY CHANGE MY LIFE MYSELF AND I WANT TO BUT IM JUST TOO WEAK RITE NOW

IM GOING TO BED AT 5 EVERY MORNING AND WAKING UP AT 3 EVERY DAY MY PARENTS THINK IM BEING A BIT STRANGE I BARELY EAT OR DO ANY UNI WORK

WHY AM I LIKE THIS?

WANT TO DO A GRAM AND DRINK UNTIL I CANT THINK

you say that you dont want me anymore ( Read more... )

on monday I got really fucked and missed the most important day off my course. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME? I dont actually ever do anything about anything for anyone. Im shit. A shit human being with no aspirations. shit. shit. shit. shit. My parents must be so disappointed with me. i would be.

fri - took fuck loads of coke ( all free) off some dude who is from battersea so we had lots to talk about. Didnt go to sleep till 11 on sat felt pretty ruff. Been smoking lots of weed with carl and talking which is good. He is still beautiful and addictive urgh!!!! up to date on me work which is good. HAVE NO MONEY i mean not a penny in my account ( Read more... )

feeling very confused ( Read more... )