Eenie meenie miney moe, here's old Larry again, takin' a crap.   Howdy, howdy, howdy, and all that ol' dumpascrump.  Weeeeeeelll, I've been waitin a long time to sit down and plop out a few mounds of that Tennessee Carolina Kentucky shit I been known for - jus' bout two hours since I last sat down at the pooper - but I'll tell you what it's been ( Read more... )

Now, then, It's been a long time since ol' Larry's written in this ol' rag, but ahm gonna be upfront and straightforward with ya, I don't give a shit. I've been hip-hollupin' and wip-wollupin' and mip-mollupin' all over this country playin' some of the best 12-bar you ever heard, only stoppin' to plop down on the ol' love can and give that latest ( Read more... )

Hell, yeah. Ol' Larry jus' found some o' his old Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass LPs in some ol' box in the garage. Now that's one set o' negros that knows how to play some tunes. What, they white? Hey, cut me some slack, even a lobsta' poops out the wrong end sometimes ( Read more... )

Hey, folks. I was sitting on my crack, checkin' out some places on the internet today, when lo and behold, I found pictures of mahself from in the neighborhood of about two months ago. It was fo' a public service announcement fo' them ol' Escobars in the Escobar house. The problem at hand was that the ol' pooper they has was havin' a little ( Read more... )

Scrumpadumpadump...Skiddlybop rumpadump...Poopin' in the...Oh, hey! It's your ol' pal Larry the Lobster. Ie been gone fo' a long time, up to business as usual: playin' jazz and talkin' bout' mah crack. I've had a good poop or two since I last reported on my well-bein'. And, I assure you I'll tell all of you cats 'bout mah exploits...just as ( Read more... )

I haven't played a gig in a damn long time. Maybe that's on account of the last time I played with my jazz band most of the audience reckoned there was one more man on stage than theys was seein'. I told them, no, just Larry on Sax, Sammy the Soarin' Steelhead on drums, and my buddy Tat on blues guitar, but they said, "No, we hears a tuba! Where ( Read more... )

Today wuz pretty so-so, my usual assortment of poopin' problems came up lak they always do. Been shittin' bouldas these days, in fact, reminds me uh the tahm I pulled dat flusha thing after takin' mah poop lak I usually do and the damn thing got stuck and overflowed cuz' my damn shit was too damn big. Owna uh the rest'raunt came up to me and said ( Read more... )