Larry's Day Today
Today wuz pretty so-so, my usual assortment of poopin' problems came up lak they always do. Been shittin' bouldas these days, in fact, reminds me uh the tahm I pulled dat flusha thing after takin' mah poop lak I usually do and the damn thing got stuck and overflowed cuz' my damn shit was too damn big. Owna uh the rest'raunt came up to me and said, "C'mon Larry, next time control yoself, the whole damn rest'raunt know it was you again, overflowin' the damn toilet again," and I said, "What am ah s'posed to do, ah can't help what mah digestive system does behine mah back," and he said, "You could start by gettin' the hell out uh here whenever it's time to take care uh business, there's one uh them portable toilet booths down the street, you could use that and do us all a favor," so I said, "If that's what's gotta be done fo an old-timer like me to pinch his loaf in peace, then I s'pose that's what I'm gonna have to." So now ah use that portable toilet booth whenever business calls, and ain't nobody come and tell me what ah can and can't poop. I got a gig on Satuhday wif my ol' pal Sammy the Soarin' Steelhead on drums, you know that flyin' fish on the water television things with the savin' water? That's him, and he can play a lick or two quite fine, you ask me. S'pose it might be a good idea to get some mo band membas to play with us, you can't do much with a damn trumpet and drums. Oh well, I gotta get some sleep, mah ass is burning like a asphalt on a hot day.