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How many times have I said "Fuck this, I'm leaving, I'm leaving, forget it. Find somebody else, I'm never coming back."

The word 'never' is only powerful if you use it once.
Even though I keep trying to shy away from my history, it seems to catch up with me - bits of it. It had become so contorted I barely recognised any truth in it. And it sucks, it ( Read more... )

I finally feel good enough to type. I felt terrible puke-y earlier(I ate these rank chips at Rei's because I was really hungry and then took a ride in a jolt-y cab with a headache).
Yesterday I got a call from Rei telling me he was back.
I met Sara at TCC in Shaw House, the meatball-pasta-gratin or whatever was really good and because Sara had a TCC ( Read more... )

After I had posted, I got into this stupid conflict with George.
I called him on the phone, tried to conceal my crying, it ended undefined.
I think that's the first time we properly fought. It was quite bad to get Sara in the middle of it.
I felt the stress and tension, hoped to just brush it away but my feelings wouldn't let me....

Talking to Kyle ( Read more... )

A BAG OF ASSORTED LIQUORICE:

Exes are weird, alien creatures. The days you see them in passing you can no longer concieve what it was like to be in their arms, though at the time it felt so natural. I have been happy and lost. I am not any more focussed nor any more directed but at least I am happy whilst in this.

I think about things now and am ( Read more... )

I keep trusting that things will just turn around... but what does that really mean?
Like I've said - there are a million signs, but no single direction.
Am I headed the right way? But what if the right way seems so wrong...?

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I'm not sure why I feel so uneasy, maybe it was all the junk food I had today... or watching Fast Food Nation, perhaps from the car ride home. Maybe its all of them.


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It's funny how you come out of the worst of situations with new friends. Maybe its because you did the right thing, maybe it's just a ruse... and it will come back to bite you in the butt. This is quite true from my experience so far. I would argue that I've already had it nip at my ass but it could just be that fact that the truth will always ( Read more... )

Ahh... so my maths portfolio is finally with Larry. I like knowing that I don't have to worry about it anymore. Yes, it's shit, but I take comfort in thinking that there is nothing I can do about it right now anyway ( Read more... )

My eye is getting bad again. I'm not sure if it goes with my mood but sometimes I feel so tired and angry at myself and it gets so itchy that I fuck it up again by agressively rubbing it until it is sore, red, open, swollen ( Read more... )